Tag Archive for: COVID-19

, , ,

Journaling Prompts When You’re Stressed

Right now, there is a lot of stress, anxiety, and fear going around, and chances are, you’ve experienced it yourself. Whether you’re a parent trying to figure out a new routine with and for your kids, a professional working through the balancing act, a student running into the obstacles of social and academic pressures or all of the above, every person is facing their own challenges in their own way.

There are so many suggestions out there to try and help combat all of the overwhelming emotions: getting enough sleep, setting up a schedule for yourself and your family, eating healthy meals, staying active, talking with friends… The list goes on. But did you know that journaling is another great way to reduce stress and anxiety? And the research is here to back it up!

How Journaling Affects Our Minds

  • According to The University of Rochester Medical Center, journaling can help you manage anxiety, reduce stress, cope with depression, and improve your mood by helping you prioritize problems and track your symptoms so you can learn your triggers and control them.
  • Journaling can also enhance your sense of well-being, improve your working memory, and boost your mood.
  • Keeping a journal can help you keep an organized mind and can be helpful when processing information or making sense of trauma.

Okay, so now what? Sure, journaling is great, but it can be hard to get started. The key to making journaling a part of your routine is getting started! So grab an old notebook you’ve got lying around, and choose one, two, or more of the questions below to answer each day. If every day feels like too big of a commitment, start with just three times a week!

Writing Prompts

  1. What are 5 good things that happened today?
  2. What’s one thing you can do differently tomorrow to help it be a better day than today?
  3. What’s one adjustment you can make to your routine to help set up the day for success?
  4. What’s the main source of your stress or anxiety? Can you do anything about it?
  5. What are 10 things that make you happy right now?
  6. What are 3 things you can do daily to be a positive influence for others?
  7. How did/will you exercise your mind, body, and spirit today?
  8. What’s one thing that happened today that you’re still trying to process/understand?
  9. Did you feel anxious or worried today? When did it start? What caused the feeling?
  10. Who are two people in your life that mean a lot to you and why?
  11. What’s one thing that would have to change for you to feel completely satisfied?
  12. Is there anything that is consistently disturbing your inner peace?
  13. What do you not like to talk about? Why not?
  14. What is one thing you learned today?
  15. If you were completely free of fear, what would you be doing differently today?
  16. What’s one thing that you’re proud of yourself for?
  17. What decisions could you make today/tomorrow that could improve your mental, emotional, and/or physical health?
  18. What’s one habit that you would like to correct? What are some steps you can take toward correcting that habit?
  19. What are you most ashamed of right now? Why?
  20. What are 3 things that you did really well today?

Journaling is a great way to understand your thoughts, gain self-awareness, and process the world around you. And now is a great time to start!

Image from Unsplash.com

/0 Comments/by

Why You Need To Get Your Kids To Help Around The House

Here's what worked for me.

You’re probably less interested in the “why” of getting help around the house, and more interested in the “how” of it. I get it, but you need to understand the “why” first and believe it. 

Taking care of yourself—physically and mentally—is incredibly important, especially right now. Stress, anxiety, fear, and plain old fatigue will all take their toll on you. That toll will impact you and the people that you care about. I see it in myself and in my own home. I feel fragile, a lot.

You know the deal. I’m at home, trying to put in a full day’s work and finish my projects, making sure school work gets done, keeping an eye on my at-risk mother-in-law, and generally holding down the fort—including keeping it clean and organized. Oh, and when my wife gets home, I try to have dinner ready and we try to do Family Movie Night or Game Night and keep all the sequestered happy. It is a daunting task, and I’ve never felt so exhausted. You feeling it too? It often feels like a lose-lose situation.

If I focus time on my kids and mother-in-law, I feel like a bad employee.

If I focus time on my work, I feel like a bad dad and son-in-law.

I can’t possibly do it all. I just feel stressed out and guilty.

When in the world am I supposed to take care of myself?

Start with the basics.

The house needs to be kept up and your kids need stuff to do.

Those dots connect themselves, but how do you do this without having another thing to do?

I got the ball rolling by laying out expectations in a family meeting.

I also sent out this text message in our family group text after days of exhaustion:

Hey Family! I know everyone is taking care of their own living areas but we need to work together on shared spaces like the kitchen, dining area, and living room. We are trying to stay afloat – Mom is working full time, I’m working full time from home, and Grandmom isn’t our maid. (Thanks for all you do, Grandmom!)“

Some Stuff That Needs Doing:

  • Kitchen needs to be swept and mopped.
  • Dining room & front door area swept and mopped.
  • Living room vacuumed.
  • Lawn mowed when it dries.
  • General sanitizing wipe down.
  • Help with cooking dinners.
  • General cleaning up after yourself, especially in the kitchen.

There’s enough for everyone to do a little. Thanks in advance. Hope this isn’t received as snarky. Totally sending with a heart full of love for all of you. Just need help. You guys are my favorite! ❤

That was the text. I didn’t have high hopes. I figured a couple of kids (maybe) in drips and drabs would hopefully mark a few things off the list in the upcoming week. Maybe there would be a little less work for Grandmom and me.

Then something incredible happened.

My son, who is without a doubt the “lone wolf” of the whole crew, immediately came down and started sweeping the kitchen. What? Soon, everyone started popping out of their rooms and joined in. They cranked out a very thorough cleaning of everything. We even game-ified the cleaning by adding some rounds of Nintendo Wii in-between cleaning jobs. In a couple of hours, the house was spic & span – and get this – we all had time freed up to do our stuff. Even me!

I can’t call it a Christmas Miracle. It was like something out of some wholesome unrealistic sitcom or Disney Channel show. It worked. But let me be clear, I was fortunate this time. It usually doesn’t play out like that. But I learned some valuable info that day…

There is no way I can keep up with housework, school work, and work work AND have time and energy left for self-care plus some gas left in the tank to have a little quality time with my wife when she gets home from work. You can’t give what you don’t have. 

And my kids can and will and need to help.

Let’s Break It Down

So how do I keep this ball rolling? If you break down my text, you might find some reasons why it was effective that might help you get your kids helping more around the house, have some structure in their day, and burn off some energy. Hopefully, this will lower your stress levels by freeing you up for working on work and remember, working on yourself.

Here’s what I did in my text to get my kids to help around the house:

  1. Started positively.
  2. Acknowledged what they were already doing.
  3. Was realistic and honest about our new situation.
  4. Listed very specific things that needed to get done.
  5. Gave them a choice of what they wanted to do.
  6. Thanked them in advance.
  7. Tried to preclude any misinterpretations.
  8. Affirmed my love for them and that family is the most important thing.
  9. And here is the kicker – I TOLD THEM I NEEDED HELP.  (I didn’t suggest it. I didn’t imply it. And I didn’t say, “It would be nice.”)

I probably should have added a timeframe for the work to be done by. Missed that one. 

We made it a challenge and made it fun. We worked together and multiplied our efforts.

Apply these principles in a way that works for your kids at their ages. 

Just don’t try to do it all yourself. And don’t sweat it if it all doesn’t get done. It isn’t going anywhere. Take care of yourself.

Image from Pexels.com

/0 Comments/by
,

How Not To Get Stir-Crazy At Home With Kids

I couldn’t figure out what it was at first. My first three days of work at home due to COVID-19 were really strong. I was sharing the house workload: cleaning, cooking, laundry, and the like. I was spending some quality time with the kids. 

And then suddenly, it all changed. I was unmotivated to work. I was restless. The kids were no longer cute. They were obnoxious. Their questions were irritating and I couldn’t understand why they were so dependent on their parents, even the 4-year-old. Go figure. I went to Google and searched “stir-crazy defined” and found, “Stir-crazy: restless or frantic because of confinement, routine, etc.,” and “upset or angry because you have been prevented from going somewhere or doing something for a long time.” Yep. I was definitely stir-crazy. Looking back, I’m proud that I made it to Day Three of this work from home experiment.

I vowed to not let it get to that point again. Through a little research, common sense, and talking to colleagues I developed a strategy.

10 Ways to NOT Get Stir-Crazy:

  1. Recognize that everyone in the house has a limit. None of us are superhuman, though sometimes I think my wife is. Staying cooped up in the house without a real break in the midst of the current circumstances with the same people is a recipe for “stir- crazy.”
  2. Regularly get outside. My wife gardens. I bike alone and with my kids. Sometimes we simply sit on the porch. Others take a walk. Some of my kids throw a baseball.
  3. Permission to be spontaneous. Everyone in the house is granted permission to call together a spontaneous activity. Card game. Pillow fight. Dancefest. Wii 3-Point Shooting Contest (Limits may be necessary on how often and how long.)
  4. Build family playtime into regular schedule. If everyone knows when to look forward to scheduled playtime, then it can help everyone stay focused during the other times.
  5. Do something good for someone else. Check on the neighbors. Call your elderly friends and include the kids on the call. Write a family letter to someone you know that’d appreciate it.
  6. Schedule daily quiet, alone time. Sometimes all the noise can drive you crazy.
  7. Video call loved ones. Part of what makes us stir crazy with the kids is a lack of relaxed connection with the outside world. Virtual coffee dates during your mid-morning break might be in order.
  8. Have some empathy. If you’re trying to avoid going stir crazy, know that your children are susceptible as well. Even the most introverted of us can go stir-crazy when we feel like we are confined to one space.
  9. Refocus on why we are quarantined. The bigger picture is that we are trying to protect ourselves, our loved ones and our community. 
  10. Exercise. Release those endorphins, the chemicals in your brain that can trigger positive feelings. It can help your mood. 

Proactively prevent going stir-crazy by recognizing that if you don’t do anything to prevent it, then you’re inviting it. A stir-crazy parent is not a fun person to be around. When this is all said and done, I want my children to be excited to get out of the house because it’s fun and it’s natural. If I’m not proactive, my kids will scatter because Dad has gone crazy and they can’t wait to not be stuck inside with him anymore.

Image from Pexels.com

/0 Comments/by
, ,

Cómo tener una reunión familiar sobre COVID-19

A la luz de nuestros eventos actuales, el caos y las interrupciones que esto ha traído, ¡sentí la necesidad de convocar una buena reunión familiar a la antigua! Había pasado un tiempo, pero teníamos muchas cosas nuevas importantes de las que hablar: nuevas situaciones laborales, cancelaciones escolares, problemas de salud y cómo nuestra familia iba a navegar estas circunstancias únicas.

Una vez que todos se reunieron en la sala, varias cosas fueron parte de esta reunión en particular:

  • Pregunté cómo les iba a todos. ¿Cómo se sentían todos, física y emocionalmente? Mi colega escribió un excelente blog sobre tomarle a su familia la “temperatura.”
  • Compartí información de CDC sobre el coronavirus, cómo se transmite, los riesgos de exposición, los síntomas de infección y las precauciones recomendadas para tomar. Mantuve un tono tranquilo y me mantuve fiel a los hechos. Les permití espacio para compartir lo que ya habían escuchado y dónde lo escucharon. Hablamos sobre qué fuentes de información eran confiables. (Si tiene adolescentes en casa, ajuste el tema en madures para sus hijos).
  • Repasé algunas nuevas rutinas y reglas familiares que estarían vigentes por un tiempo. No hay amigos en este momento. Quién es responsable de desinfectar las perillas de las puertas, manijas de los electrodomésticos, controles remotos, interruptores de luz, etc. y en qué días. Cómo es el horario de trabajo escolar. ¡Hablamos sobre cómo tendríamos más noches familiares de películas y juegos!
  • Permití espacio para preguntas y animé a todos a ser reales en cuanto de sus reacciones y sugerencias. ¡Tenían algunas ideas mucho mejores que las mías!
  • Resalté en que esto iba a pasar y aprovecharíamos la oportunidad que brindaban estos nuevos obstáculos: pasar más tiempo juntos como familia, aprender cosas nuevas e invertir tiempo en las cosas que siempre decimos que desearíamos tener. El tiempo para dedicarnos. ¡Somos un equipo y un equipo divertido!
  • Hablamos acerca de cómo “esto” no era todo acerca de nosotros y cómo necesitábamos mantener nuestros ojos abiertos para oportunidades creativas para ayudar a otras personas.
  • Recuerde: Esto abre un diálogo sobre lo que será una conversación continua.

Claro, esta reunión fue necesaria debido a un conjunto de circunstancias nuevas y únicas, pero las reuniones familiares deberían ser una parte regular de su cultura familiar. ¡Siga adelante!

Consejos generales para reuniones familiares:

  1. Manténgalas positivas y divertidas.
  2. Mantenga a todos involucrados.
  3. Que sean relevantes. (Nada peor que una reunión que se siente innecesaria).
  4. Mantenga una parte breve pero constante de su vida familiar.

Cada familia es diferente, así que sea sensible a las necesidades específicas de su familia mientras considera estas sugerencias y esté preparado para hacer los ajustes necesarios.

  • Comience con algo divertido que haga que todos hablen como una pregunta o como, “¿Qué superpoder quieres y por qué?” o “¿Qué verdura te gustaría desaparecer para siempre?” Las personas que hablan tienen más probabilidades de seguir hablando.
  • Úselos para mantener a todos en la misma página. “¿Cuál fue la mejor parte de la semana pasada para ti? ¿Qué esperas con ansias esta semana?
  • Las reuniones enfatizan la interdependencia familiar. Ayudan a la familia a comprender a cada miembro individual y ayudan a cada individuo a comprender su conexión con la familia. Deje que los miembros de la familia pongan cosas en la agenda. Déjelos liderar.
  • Este es el momento de abordar los problemas, horarios, eventos actuales e incluso las finanzas de manera adecuada. Este es el momento de celebrar las calificaciones, las victorias deportivas, los recitales y el crecimiento del carácter que está presenciando como padre. NO es un momento para avergonzar a nadie o señalar errores o problemas individuales.
  • ¡Sea creativo! Las reuniones familiares se pueden realizar en una cerna, durante un juego de mesa o de cartas, o durante un viaje en automóvil. ¡No importa qué, termine con algo de diversión!

Como la familia estaba unida en un solo lugar, aprovechamos esta oportunidad para hacer la transición de serios problemas del mundo real a un concurso de tiro de tres puntos increíblemente competitivo, muy divertido y casero, usando una olla de la cocina, una silla y algunos tacos de papel. ¡Reunión concluida!

Image from Pexels.com

/0 Comments/by
,

Five Ways Social Distancing Can Increase Happiness in the Home

What are the words to describe this season of social isolation and self-quarantine during COVID-19? I can think of a few:

Frustrating. Stressful. 

Extremely inconvenient. 

Full of anxiety. 

Ruined my plans. 

What day is it again? 

(I could go on…) 

As I was talking with friends (six feet from my computer screen, of course) about how normal life has been turned upside down by this Global Pandemic, I was struck with an interesting thought: Social distancing has taken away all the excuses for not doing the things I’ve said I’m too busy to do. 

For those who are self-quarantined, it has removed a great deal of busyness. Sure, many of us still have to work or do school from home. But chances are we haven’t been fighting traffic to get home, rushing kids to ball games, or struggling to get dinner prepared at a decent hour. This weird point in our current history has created at least some margin in our daily lives. And where there’s margin, there’s an opportunity. 

I realize this calls for an intentional change in our outlook on our situation. You almost have to unnaturally choose to see the opportunities before you. But I really do think they are there. 

Below are five ways—opportunities, if you will—that social distancing can increase happiness in the home. 

  1. The opportunity to slow down. Social isolation has given us the margin of time. Even if you are working from home, or if your kids are doing school remotely, chances are you can dictate and shape your schedule more than you’ve been used to. 
    • Use that to your advantage. Ask yourself, what are the important things I’ve put off because I said I was too busy? Exercise. Taking a daily walk. Reading. Meaningful conversations with your spouse. Playing in the yard with your kids. Reconnecting with that old school friend. Yoga. Eating at the dinner table each night. Meditation. And don’t forget time to just sit on the front porch… and breathe. 
    • Make a list. Schedule it. Do it! 
  2. The opportunity to clean the clutter. There are two sides to this. Yes, now we have some time to fix that leaky pipe, clean out the garage, and weed the garden (how convenient for the pandemic to happen during Spring cleaning!). 
    • But there’s also the side of cleaning up the clutter that has built up in our relationships with the people we love in our home. Maybe the busyness of your previous life has caused some disconnection between you and your family members. Now is the opportunity to engage in good, healthy, deeper conversations and times of connection. 
    • Our family decided to open up the box of conversation-starter questions that’s been sitting unused on our kitchen table. Every evening at dinner, we’ve had some of the funniest and most interesting talks around these questions. However you decide to clear that space, make it an intentional and daily routine. 
    • One word of caution: Cleaning the clutter may also mean visiting some of the issues that have been lingering between you and your spouse or your kids. This may be a good time to work things out. However, be very aware of stress levels and be strategic as to when the best times are to talk things out. It’s not a good idea to work on old issues when the anxiety is particularly high. 
  3. The opportunity to focus on others in need. Obviously you are not alone in feeling the stress and anxiety. There are those in our neighborhoods and communities who are hurting right now. This is a great opportunity for you and your family to help ease the fears and uncertainties of others, even while you are social distancing. 
    • One charitable neighbor of ours set out a tub full of hand-sanitizers on the sidewalk in front of their yard for anyone who had need. My daughter (on her own) created cheerful cards to give to the neighbors. Someone else in our neighborhood organized a “bear hunt” through social media—our neighbors were invited to display teddy bears and other stuffed animals in our windows so that when kids walked by, they could “hunt” for as many bears as they could. 
    • Anything you can do to bring a smile and sense of cheer to those around you will most certainly bring happiness to your own home. 
  4. The opportunity to be appreciative. When we are super-busy, it’s easy to forget to stop and remember what we should be thankful for. Practicing gratitude increases a sense of happiness and well-being in the home. No matter how much or little one has, there are always reasons to be thankful—for food on the table, the air you breathe, a roof over your heads, the people you love in your home. 
    • Acknowledge what you appreciate. Make it a practice at mealtime to share with each other what you are thankful for. Make a daily “gratitude list.” Thankfulness is a strong tool to temper anxiety and to boost happiness. 
  5. The opportunity to play and be creative. At no other time in our recent history has it been so vital to inject some fun, laughter, and play into our daily lives. Now is the time for family Monopoly games, Nerf wars, movie nights, making breakfast for dinner, camping in the backyard, playing in the rain, and family dance-offs. These activities cut through the stress and provide the glue that bonds family members more closely together. Don’t let the tension of quarantine compromise the opportunity to make memories. Laugh and have some fun!

Opportunities don’t take themselves. You have to be intentional about using the margin you’ve been given as you incorporate social distancing into your life. However, the payoff for you and your family is tremendous.

Image from Pexels.com

/0 Comments/by
, , ,

Are You Setting a Good Example of Self-Care for Your Family?

Take the time to do some things each day that help you deal with all the chaos.

I fish. It’s what I do. Some have asked me what in the world draws me to stand by a pond and throw a little feathered hook in the water time and time again, often with very few results. I fish so I can de-stress. 

It’s mindless (somewhat) and I can leave all the emotion, anxiety, and uncertainties behind me for just a little while. If you fish, you understand this. I can clear my head before re-entering the real world. Fishing is my self-care. 

Self-Care… It’s become a popular term that’s popped up in conversations around health, mindfulness, and stress. You do self-care when you do any kind of action deliberately in order to care for your mental, physical, or emotional health. And it’s widely thought to be effective in reducing anxiety and stress. 

How apropos in our current state. At perhaps no other time in recent memory has it been so important to stay healthy. Stress and anxiety are at an all-time high. People are stuck at home. Routines are turned upside down. Family members are spending way more time with each other than they are used to. 

I’d say self-care is a precious commodity right about now. 

I don’t know about you, but in my house, it’s easy to give our kids a schedule that includes some healthy activities. However, it’s extremely difficult for me personally to get into a routine of self-care activities. My game is so thrown off by the stress of our circumstances. And it’s sometimes a fight just to get me away from the computer screen. 

But it has to happen. As parents, we’ve got to be a good example and practice self-care right now. And here’s why: 

You can’t give what you don’t have. 

Meaning, if you want your kids to practice self-care, you need to self-care. You’ve got to fill your tank so you have it in you to help them fill their tanks. When you self-care, you’re better able to handle feelings of anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and stress. This is important so these emotions don’t get the best of you. 

Pay attention to yourself. Keep an eye on the radar of your emotional state. Take the time to do some things each day that help you deal with all the chaos that is going on. 

  • Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Let the sun shine on your face for a little while. 
  • Meditate or pray. Sing (out loud). 
  • Get plenty of sleep. 
  • Do push-ups. Or go for a run. Or practice yoga. Anything to stretch, strengthen, and move the body. 
  • Eat clean. Healthier food keeps your energy up. Drink plenty of water. 
  • But, every few days, sneak in that Oreo. Because… stress. 
  • Read a book. Watch a documentary. Keep your mental game strong. 
  • Communicate your needs to the people that love you. Let them know when you need to be alone. And let them know when you need to be with them. Get plenty of both. 

These are just a small number of suggestions for self-care. Search online for other ideas and find out what feeds your health—body and soul. And then do it. Regularly. 

Of course, we don’t self-care simply for our own needs. Our families are depending on us. That’s why it’s so important that we set a good example of self-care as parents.

Your moments of self-care are the teachable moments for your kids.

As parents, every little thing we do is seen. Young eyes are watching how we handle ourselves—especially in the midst of anxiety and stress. They take their emotional cues from what they see in us. “Do as I say, not as I do” is a terrible parenting style—particularly when it comes to self-care. They need to see you handling your health in a positive way. 

It’s okay for your kids to know you are anxious or fearful. But it’s so much more important that they see how you handle your anxiety and fear. When they see you taking care of yourself, you are modeling that for your children. It may sound funny, but your example of self-care leaves a legacy. 

Parents, take care of yourself. For your sake, and for your kids. They’re counting on you.

Image from Unsplash.com

/1 Comment/by
, ,

5 Ways Social Distancing Can Negatively Impact Your Relationships and What You Can Do About It

We are now weeks into Coronavirus social distancing. That’s just long enough for everybody to get some extra shuteye and accomplish some things around the house. And it’s long enough for everyone to admit they’re 100 percent ready for this to be over.

Even the couples and families who usually get along just fine are reaching their tolerance limit. Because let’s face it: being around each other 24/7 is hard.

A lot of positives can come from having what feels like someone ripping the rug from underneath us. Yet at the same time, we’re going to have to be on our guard for how social distancing has the potential to negatively impact our relationships in at least five ways:

If you‘re an introvert who married an extrovert.

You, the introvert, are probably livin’ the dream. You may think you just died and went to heaven, being forced to hole up in your house until further notice. Meanwhile, your extroverted spouse feels like they’ve been sentenced to the ultimate punishment—not being around others (which is what energizes them). That face-to-face human interaction is their lifeline. We all know that opposites attract, but this may be a moment when you aren’t feelin’ the love quite so much.   

The amount of time everybody now has on their hands as a result of social distancing could also negatively impact the relationships in your home.

Some children and adults who usually have a packed schedule are suddenly trying to figure out what to do with themselves. This right here will test the best of families when it comes to patience, adaptability and willingness to take it one day at a time.

Expectations of how things will go in the coming weeks is a thing, for real.

If spouses aren’t on the same page about social distancing, finances, family schedules, help with household chores and such, it can create a lot of angst—not only between the two of you, but in your family relationships as a whole. 

No matter how much space you have in your home, so much togetherness can make it feel claustrophobic.

Differences become magnified, too. What seemed like “not a big deal” before manages to get on your last nerve. 

Spending so much time and energy on the relationships in your home that you don’t have time to connect with relationships outside your home.

Unfortunately, this can make you resent the people in your home. 

So how can you counter these potential toxins in your relationships caused by social distancing?

Ask Some Questions

A great place to start might be to ask some questions such as: What does my spouse need? What do I need? What do my family members need? This could actually be a conversation between you and your spouse and/or your children. The goal would be for everybody to understand that each person probably sees this COVID-19 experience from a different perspective. All your introverted family members may be hyped up about being closed off from the rest of the world. They’re probably struggling to understand their extroverted family members who are feeling the significant loss of being physically around others. Seeking to understand each other’s perspective can go a long way toward creating a calm and peaceful home.

Talk About It and Make Some Decisions

When it comes to time, it may be helpful to talk about how frustrating all of this is. Then make some decisions as a couple or family about how you’ll actively plan to deal with it. I know in my home, we constantly talk about how if we had more time we’d do this or that project. My husband actually started painting a room we’ve said we needed to paint for forever. I’ve been going through photos from two decades ago in preparation for our daughter’s wedding that might not go as planned. 

If your children say they’re bored, it might be good to make a list together of things they can do—both fun and the helpful things—like spring cleaning. Some family members might want to start a new hobby like reading, an exercise plan, baking bread or learning how to play new games like checkers or chess. This could be the perfect time to go through those fall/winter clothes. Or purge the garage in hopes of having a yard sale sometime in the future or donating to charity. 

This break is also an opportunity to realize that it’s really ok to be bored and do absolutely nothing sometimes. If schedules are usually so full that you throw rest out the window, don’t feel pressured to fill all the time with activity. Give yourself and others in your home time to do absolutely nothing. (And be willing to overlook things that get on your nerves from time to time.)

Creatively Connect

Now’s a great time to connect with extended family members and friends by phone call, text, video chat or a letter. It’s also a chance to help others out from a distance by helping them place a grocery order or making sure they’ve got what they need during this time. Older people who live alone would probably really appreciate hearing from you. (The extroverts in your home will probably be all-in on making those connections.)

When it comes to expectations, getting creative about things could save the day. Instead of one person doing all the cooking, you can have a cooking competition with what you have on hand. Each family member could be responsible for creating a menu and either preparing or helping to prepare the meal. Divvy up the chores that need to be done. Have a poetry contest. Put “dress-up” or theme days on the family calendar. Try to make things FUN. Focus on the positives. For example, every time you think a negative thought about your situation, think of something positive related to it.

One last thought. Many of us, including our children, have questions. How long this will last? Are we going to have enough money? What happens if one of us gets sick? And the list goes on. I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. I can tell you this: You’re not alone and I’m rooting for you—and for all of us—to come out stronger.

Image from Unsplash.com

/0 Comments/by
,

Cómo reaccionar durante el brote de COVID-19

Todos estamos comenzando a darnos cuenta de que la vida tal como la conocemos ha cambiado drásticamente. Estamos en guerra contra un enemigo invisible que está causando estragos en nuestras vidas. Las fechas de juego para nuestros hijos, el almuerzo con amigos, un ingreso estable, la iglesia, las clases de ejercicios, la escuela, los deportes, las graduaciones e incluso las compras son inexistentes, canceladas, pospuestas o se ven muy diferentes en este momento. Nuestras vidas han sido interrumpidas de una manera enorme.

Incluso para la persona más espontánea, nuestra forma de vida dramáticamente diferente nos tiene a muchos nerviosos.

“En tiempos de trauma e incertidumbre, estamos estresados, cansados y abrumados”, dice el Dr. Gary Oliver, psicólogo clínico. “Nuestra respuesta típica es” reaccionar “en el momento, lo que a menudo empeora las cosas. Este es nuestro cerebro emocional secuestrando nuestro pensamiento”.

Especialmente durante estos tiempos, Dr. Oliver dice que debemos ser intencionales sobre “responder” en lugar de “reaccionar”.

“En la vida solo hay tres tipos de situaciones: cosas que puedo controlar, cosas que no puedo controlar pero que puedo influir, que es un grupo más grande, pero el grado de influencia probablemente no es tan grande como pensamos, y cosas que están totalmente fuera de nuestro control “, dice Dr. Oliver. “No podemos controlar el brote de COVID-19. Pero podemos estar seguros de lavarnos las manos y distanciarnos de los demás. Si eres una persona de fe, puedes orar. Podemos hacer ejercicio para mantenernos saludables, podemos ser amables y ayudar a otros que son más susceptibles a contraer el virus”.

Dr. Oliver cree que este enfoque en lo que podemos controlar e influir nos ayudará a prosperar a medida que trabajamos para llegar al otro lado de esta crisis. Por cada decisión que enfrente durante este tiempo, Oliver recomienda que piense en la situación como una luz amarilla de precaución intermitente. Todos debemos reducir la velocidad y proceder con precaución. ¿Por qué? Porque corremos el riesgo de actuar de una manera que solo complicará la situación o posiblemente empeorará las cosas.

A continuación, hay algunas acciones específicas que Dr. Oliver recomienda para ayudarnos a enfrentar los próximos días:

Siéntese y haga una lista de todas las cosas que puede “controlar” por completo. Con toda probabilidad, esta es una lista muy corta.

Luego haga una lista de las cosas en las que cree que puede influir.

Finalmente, enumere las cosas por las que no puede hacer nada, y esta es probablemente una lista interminable. Dr. Oliver dice que la mayoría de las veces las personas se sorprenden por la poca cantidad de cosas que realmente pueden controlar. Algunos estudios sugieren que aproximadamente dos tercios de lo que nos preocupa son cosas totalmente fuera de nuestro control.

Ahora, clasifique la lista de cosas en las que realmente puede influir de uno a 10, siendo 10 la más alta. Las cosas al final de la lista son las cosas sobre las que realmente tiene menos influencia. Luego mire las cosas en las que obtuvo cinco o más. Pregúntese: “¿Cuáles son algunas cosas específicas que puedo hacer en estas áreas?” Sus respuestas pueden ser como: puedo estar al tanto de las últimas actualizaciones o puedo practicar un buen cuidado personal.

Hablando de practicar un buen cuidado personal, Dr. Oliver señala que solo somos tan buenos para nuestro cónyuge, hijos, familiares y amigos como lo somos para nosotros mismos. Si no se cuida, realmente puede ser inútil para los demás. Puede quererse a sí mismo y a los demás comiendo bien, descansando, utilizando recursos espirituales si es una persona de fe y haciendo ejercicio.

Cuente tus bendiciones. En tiempos difíciles, es fácil enfocarse en lo negativo en lugar de lo que realmente tiene. Haga una lista de sus bendiciones. ¿Tiene comida? ¿Hay un techo sobre su cabeza? ¿Puede caminar, hablar, ver y escuchar? ¿Tiene personas que le aman y están pendientes de usted? ¿Tiene electricidad, agua corriente y acceso a internet? Tener visualmente su lista es enriquecedor.

Apoye a otros. Pregúntese: “¿Cómo puedo motivar, expresar aprecio, apoyar u orar por los demás?”

Busque maneras de conectarse cara a cara a través de Skype, Hangouts de Google, FaceTime u otro medio. Aunque tenemos distanciamiento social, aún necesitamos relaciones. Los mensajes de texto y Facebook están bien, pero no hay nada que sustituya el contacto cara a cara. Ver la cara de alguien y escuchar su voz es reconfortante y enriquecedora psicológica, fisiológica y emocionalmente. Todos necesitamos eso, especialmente en este momento. El aislamiento es bueno para no propagar el virus, pero el aislamiento de la relación no es saludable.

Préstele atención a sus mascotas. La ciencia del cerebro ahora nos dice que las interacciones con nuestras mascotas pueden reanimar, especialmente en tiempos de crisis.

Cuando las personas sienten que no pueden hacer nada, la ansiedad, el miedo, el desánimo y la depresión los arrastran. Las personas se sienten colmadas con una sensación de impotencia y desesperanza.

Estas sugerencias pueden parecer pequeñas en el esquema de las cosas, pero no son insignificantes.

En cambio, estas recomendaciones pueden ayudarlo a ser más inteligente y tomar decisiones más sabias. Busque la oportunidad de motivar a otros, porque no se trata solo de su propia supervivencia.

Pregúntese: “¿Cuál será mi próximo paso saludable?”

/0 Comments/by