Tag Archive for: COVID-19

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The World is Reopening, And I’m Not Ready

First, the world shut down. It was inevitable as COVID-19 was spreading. But you weren’t sure how you’d handle it. Work, school, health, friends, jobs, money. There was so much uncertainty.

Then, at some point, you settled. You recognized what you could control. You started making the best of it and even realized that it wasn’t so bad. Who are we kidding? You were surprised at how much you were enjoying it. Slower pace. Family time has been fun time. Meaningful conversations with friends. You found your routine. 

You noticed the anxiety level in your home decrease. Not because of the absence of issues. Jobs aren’t all steady. Health concerns are everywhere. There’s lots of unrest in America right now. But the slower pace, the presence of the people you care most about, the ability to connect with family and friends, even if they are virtual connections, has helped you to live and process life in real time. 

During pre-quarantine days, many of us were moving so fast that we were simply going through the motions of life, but weren’t processing all that we were experiencing.  We had become accustomed to our way of doing life and never considered alternatives. And now the world is ready to open up and you’re not sure you’re ready to give up the benefits of this new lifestyle. So what do you do?

If You Aren’t Ready, Try These Things

  1. Accept: Just like we accepted the shelter-in-place orders and the fact that COVID-19 was spreading. We must accept that the world can’t stay shut down forever.
  2. Identify your fears: This could be anything from COVID-19 to busyness. You may be scared of losing the deep connections you’ve formed. The return of stress, anxiety, perpetual activity. Loneliness. 
  3. Name what you don’t want to lose: Family time, slower pace, meaningful conversations, quiet time, game/movie nights, time for mindfulness, and self-care.
  4. Be intentional: Just because the world is opening up doesn’t mean you have to dive in headfirst and resume everything you were doing before. Identify the things you have to do. Think through the things that are optional.
  5. Practice Using One of the Most Powerful Words in the English Dictionary: NO. Be willing to say “no” to those things that compromise the very things you’ve said you don’t want to lose. You WILL say NO to a lot of good things. Good will often keep you from BEST.

You may not be ready for the world to reopen for many reasons. Taking control of what you CAN will help you to re-enter the world with purpose.

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4 Ways to Teach Your Teen Responsibility

When I was a teen, summer meant one thing: work. And lots of it. I had 2-3 jobs lined up before school was out each summer. That’s because my goal was to make as much money as possible. Part of my motivation was to put gas in my car, pay for any eating out, and try to save for college expenses. The other motivation was that my parents believed working would help me learn to be more responsible. They also thought it would give me other necessary skills for a successful life. 

With COVID-19 essentially slamming the door on the majority of summer jobs for teens, we face some challenges. The escape out of the isolation that many teens hoped for, the earning potential, and the learning opportunities that parents know come from working have been swiped right out of their hands. 

In fact, according to a Pew Research Center survey, young people ages 16-24 are more likely to face layoffs due to Coronavirus. Why? Because they make up 24% of employment in the restaurant, retail, and transportation industries. The lack of work leaves behind the opportunity to learn about working with others, being responsible, and accountable to someone other than parents. It may keep them from experiencing a sense of accomplishment from a hard day’s work.

Now what? With Plan A out the window, this is a great opportunity to help your teen put Plan B into motion. In spite of all that COVID-19 has taken from us, there are still plenty of things teens can do this summer. These things can make the time go by faster, but also help them continue to learn the skills they need to master before heading out on their own.

Here are four ways you can help teach your teen responsibility this summer in spite of COVID-19:

1. Set clear expectations for the summer.

Even though many options have been taken off the table, ask your teen to come up with a plan for their summer. The structure still matters and makes a huge difference in a teen’s mindset and motivation. Here are some important parts they may want to include in their plan:

  • Exercise
  • Some type of work
  • Help with household chores
  • Time with friends in a socially distant way
  • Things they need to learn to do for themselves (laundry, cooking, managing money, maintaining a vehicle, etc.
  • Family time.

2. Help them think through opportunities that do exist.

Think yard work, shopping for those who cannot get out, being a nanny or manny for parents who have lost childcare and summer camp opportunities, odd jobs, or construction. Don’t forget about those special projects you or others have been putting off or need help doing. Part of the goal here is to help them think outside the box about what’s possible during a difficult time.

3. Encourage them to look at their strengths and identify what they are passionate about.

Are there online experiences they could take advantage of to further enhance their skill set and make them more marketable in the future? Can they take a distance-learning course to help them finish school faster or lessen their class load down the road?

4. Ask them to take on more household responsibilities to give you some relief while providing practical experience.

It may feel like more of a headache in the beginning, but these are all things they need to be able to do once they are out on their own. Grocery shopping, meal planning, cooking and/or house cleaning or making household repairs could be ways they can step up and assist in a big way if they aren’t already. As a bonus, additional teen responsibilities at home is a helpful reminder that in times of crisis, everybody has something valuable to contribute to the good of the family unit.

Obviously, we are all dealing with the unknown here and looking for ways to navigate the constantly changing landscape. Undoubtedly, there is a tremendous financial and emotional strain on teens and adults because of the limitations we’re dealing with and certainly, we need to be sensitive to this. Even in the midst of chaos, circumstances often present themselves that turn out to be positive in the end. I’m hopeful that these tips can help you prepare your teen to handle any situation that comes their way and to help them learn responsibility even in the midst of a pandemic.

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I Think My Teen Hates Me

Do you mind if I pretend we are sitting at a coffee shop, and you just said, I think my teen hates me, and we just have a chat? Cool. Oh, who am I? I’m the father of four kids who were teens and one who still is. (I’m looking forward to being a retired teen parent.) I’ve also spent 25 years in classrooms working with teens. So you’re having coffee with as close to a teen expert as you’re probably going to get in this imaginary coffee shop. It will help if you pretend we are really close friends, too, so I can be pretty blunt with you.

I have so many questions for you, my imaginary coffee partner: What was your relationship with your teen like before now? Have you considered how this unique time may have changed your teen? Have you considered how this unique time may have changed you? Is it possible that something has magnified some pre-existing issues in your relationship? Have you considered that teenagers may be here on earth to trouble their parents?

Bottom Line: Your teen probably doesn’t hate you. But they might.

Let me share the wise words of American author Ralph Waldo Emerson. (By the way, I taught English. Please pass the cream.) Anyway, he says in his essay Self-Reliance that “Every great man must learn how to estimate a sour face.” Paraphrased for our purposes, “Every great parent must learn how to estimate an I hate you from their teen.”

I’m trying to lovingly raise a future independent adult. I’m operating from principles, for a purpose — not for popularity. Some of the wisest things I did as a parent were met with fierce anger from my kids and some of the dumbest things I did as a parent were met with great joy from my kids. I’m not into this parenting thing for an approval rating from someone whose brain literally will not fully develop for a few years. I’m trying to work myself out of a job by preparing my teen for the real world.

So, I’ve had to ask myself if my child was mad at me because I’m doing what’s right as a parent or if my child was mad at me because I blew it and was way out of line and I needed to make it right.

Do I need to stick to my guns or be honest, humble myself, and apologize? That’s kinda why I said: Your teen probably doesn’t hate you. But they might.

Don’t Rush to Judgment.

I wouldn’t rush to any judgments or hard conclusions. You may be really stressing out about the future and your finances. Maybe some things have affected you more than you realize. Maybe you are treating your teen like you don’t like them. Are you taking care of yourself? (Mmm… This is a great latte!)

And don’t forget how things might be affecting your teen. They might be worrying about the future and your finances, too. Or, they might not understand how to process the stress and anxiety that they feel. They might be bored. You become the prime target for them to take out their frustrations.

Finally, there’s the possibility that something else has revealed and even magnified some issues in your relationship with your teen. That’s okay. Face them head-on and capitalize on it to connect or maybe reconnect with your teen. This blog, pretty much written by a teenager, might give you some pointers for connecting with your teen. It was really helpful for me.

One parenting adage remains true: Rules without relationship lead to rebellion. Give that equation some real thought. Hang in there. Thanks for having coffee with me.

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What To Do When You Don’t Like The Person You’re In Quarantine With

Perhaps you’ve seen the pictures on social media. Brother and sister have been fighting all day. Mom has had enough. Mom gets one of dad’s t-shirts and makes brother and sister wear it—at the same time. 

Brother and sister look thrilled.

Some have called this a “Get-Along Shirt.” The funny thing is, while this may be a great deterrent for kids to stop fighting (“If you two don’t stop it, I’m getting out THE SHIRT!”), I’m not sure it does much to help brother and sister get along while they’re in the shirt. In my opinion, quite the reverse: It just makes them want to fight more. 

This is how I picture being in quarantine with a spouse that you don’t particularly like. You feel glued at the hip, but you can’t get away. 

THE SITUATION

The COVID-19 pandemic has caused us all to change our way of life. And if there has already been tension in your marriage before this whole mess began, then right now you might be wondering, how the heck do I get out of this giant shirt? 

Let’s think about this situation. Chances are, back in the “old days” (pre-pandemic) one or both of you spent at least some of your day apart, possibly at work. Point is, your regular routine gave you time apart so that when you came back together, your relationship was more manageable. Life provided some ways to cope with the tension.

Not so at the moment in quarantine. There is no coming back together because there’s no time apart. Together is your reality right now. If there was tension in the marriage before, the coping mechanisms you used back then aren’t there anymore. 

And whatever differences were coming between you back then, now they are magnified. You see the differences more. You are in difference-overload. And so the tension builds.

THE CHOICE

Your situation gives you a couple of choices: 

  • You can choose to avoid the issue, be miserable in your Get-Along shirt, and live in increasing conflict, tension, stress, and anxiety. Sounds fun. (See picture above.)
  • Or, you can dig in your heels, be intentional, and decide to do what you can to lessen the tension and improve the situation with your spouse 

★Disclaimer★ What I’m about to share with you is helpful, but it’s going to take intentionality and humility. When two people don’t get along, things only get better when pride is put aside. And yes, both people in the marriage need to make the effort, but it takes one person to begin to lead the dance. In other words, choose to be the first person to take up the mantle of humility; more often than not, the other will follow. 

So you first have to ask some questions: 

  • What is it specifically you don’t like about the person you’re in quarantine with? 
  • Do you not like your spouse, or do you not like the situation you’re in? 
  • Does everything about your spouse get on your nerves? Or are there one or two qualities that are magnified by the circumstances of the quarantine? 
  • Could… this… possibly… be…you? Are you stressed, and that affects how you see your spouse? What are you dealing with inside of you that makes you see your spouse in certain ways?

These questions are humbling—they can bring you down a notch or two. But considering sincere answers help you to stop and put the right perspective on the situation. Then you are freed up to make a healthy response rather than a knee-jerk reaction. 

PRO-TIPS

Having said that, let’s consider some pro-tips: 

  • Choose to see your spouse as a whole rather than one or two negative qualities. When there is something bugging me about my spouse, I have to stop and consider all the things that make up who she is, and I find the positives far outweigh the negatives. I consider all the ways she contributes to the family, what she’s done for me in the past, her background and history, how good of a mother she is. And it minimizes in my mind whatever it was that was getting on my nerves. 
  • Think of five things you’re thankful for your spouse. The next time you find yourself frustrated at your spouse, try this. It’s a way to train your brain—to condition yourself —to see your spouse as a whole. When I’ve done this, I’ve found more often than not that I was frustrated at a molehill rather than a mountain. And even if you are facing a mountain, thinking of why you are thankful for your spouse clears your headspace to approach the issues in calm, effective ways rather than being reactive. Take a few minutes, write down five reasons you’re thankful for your spouse, and read them over. 
  • Take time to decompress and do things to lower the tension. Lots of times conflict with your spouse is exacerbated by the stress of everything else going on around you. Take the opportunity to detach from life for a little while and do some self-care—both as a family and on your own. Go on a walk, meditate, read something inspirational, do some push-ups, cuddle with your cat or dog. Your self-care should be productive and healthy rather than merely an escape. This helps ease the tension and set a healthier atmosphere for communication. (Here and here are some great ideas on self-care.) 
  • Try not to make big decisions during this time. The idea is to lower the potential for stress, not the reverse. If you can help it, avoid making big, life-altering decisions like major purchases or having children (although you need to keep the ones you already have). 
  • Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Prolonged traumatic situations like the pandemic can cause a person to focus all their attention on the negative. This is extremely stressful and adds to the tension in your marriage. Reverse this pattern by thinking of the things you are thankful for at this time. And no matter the situation, there are always things to be thankful for. Make a list. Add to it daily. Gratitude helps lower the tension in the atmosphere and put the issue at hand in a proper perspective. 
  • Put grace into place. Consider that our circumstances are affecting not only your emotional health but also that of your spouse. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what they may be feeling. Keep in mind that you probably have magnified qualities that get on their nerves right now as well. 

Quarantine has put a strain on all kinds of relationships, especially marriages already under strain. But by being intentional and putting pride aside, the tension can lessen. Putting these practices into place will help you and your spouse get along during this time of quarantine. 

(Get-Along Shirt not required.)

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Help! My Spouse and I Can’t Stop Fighting!

These 3 things that can help you argue less and connect more.

Marriage is two individuals doing life as a team. You and your spouse will always have some differing perspectives, needs, priorities, habits, and let’s say – idiosyncrasies – that make you both unique. This means ongoing work on communication skills, learning how to handle disagreements and conflict, and doing the intentional stuff that keeps you connected and your relationship healthy. 

Sprinkle in anxiety, stress, anger, and sadness, or maybe uncertainty about the future and tight finances. As a result, marriage can go from difficult to disastrous. Real quick. Heavy emotions or difficult circumstances can take a toll on your marriage. Everything gets magnified and intensified. This can lead to constant fighting.

Tensions, disagreements, arguments, and even some fighting should be expected in marriage, period. But they can be framed in a way that drives you toward each other – not apart. 

1. Stop fights before they start.

If the best fight is the one that actually draws you together and strengthens your relationship, then the second-best fight is the one that never happens.

Understand Your Current Situation.

Acknowledge that you or your spouse may be experiencing high levels of fear, anxiety, and stress. This produces what marriage expert, Dr. John Gottman, refers to as “Flooding,” which is when the brain is flooded with stress hormones and chemicals that make it nearly impossible for the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for complex problem solving) to function. When you or your spouse are in “Fight, Flight, or Freeze” mode, you can’t physiologically function as you normally would. You can’t communicate as you normally should. This isn’t a fault in you or your spouse – this is your body’s nervous system. Hopefully, just knowing this promotes grace, empathy, and patience.

Practice Self-Care.

Be at your best when things are going sideways in your marriage. You each still need your space and need to take care of yourselves and find healthy ways to manage and process the stress you are feeling. Stay connected to your friends and the people that encourage you. It’s okay for you to sit in another room and watch television alone. It’s okay for your spouse to go for a walk without you. If you are both working on being the best versions of yourselves, you’ll both be in a better place when you are together.

Set Up Schedules and Routines.

This will make expectations clear, give your day predictability, and give you stability. Are one or both of you working from home? When and where in your house or apartment will work be done? Do you have children? Designate when you will take turns watching them so the other can work or get some alone time. Who is doing what chores around the house? Divide housework equally and play to your strengths.

Choose A Specific Time Each Day To “Check In” With Each Other.

This isn’t fight time. This is when you ask each other how you are feeling physically and emotionally. This is a time to share needs and ask how you can be helping each other. Take turns speaking and listening. It doesn’t have to be a long or formal time, just consistent.

2. Fight nice.

It may sound strange, but when you aren’t fighting, take some time to discuss and establish some “ground rules” for how you will handle tensions, disagreements, and problems. No bringing up the past. No interrupting. And no raising your voices. How will you call a “timeout?” What is the time limit? How will you signal that the “fight” is over? Use this blog to guide you.

Schedule Your “Fights.”

Set a time once or twice a week (max) when each of you gets to air out one (and only one) criticism while the other is only allowed to listen. Avoid words like, “always” or “never” and try to frame it as an “I” statement. “I get frustrated when it feels like you are being distant,” or “I need more help with putting the kids to bed,” or “I would appreciate it if you didn’t raise your voice at me.”

Respond, Don’t React.

You are both going to hear some hard things, especially if you can’t stop fighting. It is important not to escalate the conversation with the volume or tone of your voice, your body language, or your words themselves. Don’t react by letting emotions take control. As you actively listen, respond calmly, compassionately, and empathetically.

3. Reconnect.

It’s not all about not fighting. Make sure you are doing things that help you connect, have fun together, deepen intimacy, create some romance, and deepen your relationship.

Plan Some Fun!

Be intentional and schedule some fun things you can do together. Have a formal, in-home date night. Dress up and make a special dinner. Do something fun and silly like build a blanket fort and watch a movie. Go for a walk together. Have a game night. Don’t try to do any heavy relationship work during this time, just enjoy each other’s company. Generally, men bond shoulder to shoulder by doing things together, and women bond face to face, through conversation. So, make sure you are doing a little of both. Don’t forget why you married your spouse in the first place.

Figure Out What Says “I Love You” To Your Spouse.

Not everyone communicates “I love you” the same way and not everyone hears “I love you” the same way. Some people need quality time together. Some people need words that affirm them. Dr. Gary Chapman dives into this in The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts. You can also go to his website, take a free quiz, and find resources that will help you communicate love more effectively to each other. 

What About Sex?

What about it?! Sex is one of the most powerful ways to stay connected! Understand the dynamics of sex – generally, women need to feel connected to have sex and men need to have sex to feel connected. Not a problem! This is the perfect example of how two people have to work to make the marriage work.

Mindset is everything.

When you’re fighting all the time, it’s easy to begin seeing your spouse as an adversary, and then your relationship becomes a contest of winning and losing. Ultimately, you need to remember that your spouse isn’t the enemy; the problem is the enemy. Then you can fight for your spouse and for your marriage.

Don’t be afraid to call in the pros.

Sometimes the problems run deep. One or both of you could have blind spots. You’re too close to the situation and might need a third party who can be objective and see what you’re missing. Get the help you need! 

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

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How To Check In When You Can’t Check In

By nature, I believe we as humans are caring and kind. We like to help and be there for others when they celebrate and when they go through tragedy. For example, we buy gifts when people have babies, get married, retire and reach other various milestones. And we bring food when others suffer the loss of a loved one or lose everything in a natural disaster. We sit close to those who are suffering from a terrible disease like cancer, in the midst of grief or going through a divorce. That’s how we love, comfort, support, and uplift. 

Loving and caring for others who continue to face many of life’s celebrations and trials has become difficult since the pandemic. Our hearts begin to hurt because of the weddings we miss and the families we can’t mourn alongside. We grieve over the showers we can’t attend and the relief efforts we are limited in assisting after natural disasters. 

The core of our humanity seems to be stripped away from us because of the need to quarantine and stay safe and healthy. Sometimes, if you’re like me, you begin to wonder, is it worth it? Is what I’m giving up to “stay healthy” worth it? What’s the point of being a friend when you can’t do all those things that friends do? I don’t want to miss the birth of my cousin’s baby or the funeral of my neighbor’s son. What do I do?

How to Check In

That’s where we have to be creative. Here are some ideas to support, encourage and love those that are facing life-altering events during this time of quarantine.

  • Arrange for meal delivery and share virtual meals—We love to take food to those who are experiencing life-changing events. Instead, have the food delivered to them. Then, use a video app to eat together while you share in their grief or their excitement.
  • Virtual Photo Albums—Simply going through digital photos to walk down memory lane and using the “share screen” function that many video apps have promotes the bonding and connectedness we desire.
  • Drive-By Parade—Gather some of your friends safely. In your own cars, parade in front of their home with signs of celebration. 
  • Gift-Giving Through Online Registry—Help loved ones set up online gift registries and purchase the gifts electronically. (Don’t assume everyone, such as your soon to be 70-year-old grandmother, knows how to set up an online registry.)
  • Electronic Greeting Cards—Find a ready-made one or design your own. You can send these directly to their smartphone. A sympathy card or one of celebration can offer timely words of encouragement. 
  • Prepare A Virtual Trivia Game Night—Create trivia facts centered around the person being celebrated (TriviaMaker is a good app).
  • Mail a Handwritten Letter or Card—There’s still something that makes me feel special when I receive a letter. Knowing that someone took the time to handwrite something themselves—everything about that says that I am important. Emails or texts can’t match the feeling of a handwritten letter.
  • Attend Events Virtually—Knowing that you took the time to attend an event, whether it’s a wedding, funeral, or party, tells your loved one that you won’t let social distancing stop you from sharing in their moment. 
    • Leave comments on their social media feed when appropriate. We know what it feels like to read our social media comments and feel the love and support of those who couldn’t be with us physically. It uplifts the spirit.
  • Call. But Use Video Calls As Often As Possible—Be available to listen. Allow those you love to vent, blow off steam and complain. You may not be needed to fix anything. Just being a listening ear goes a long way.
    • Note: When someone crosses your mind, call them then. Don’t wait—I can’t tell you how many times someone has called me at the perfect time when I was dealing with something. And they often started with, “I was just thinking about you and thought I’d call to see how you were.”
  • Record And Electronically Deliver A Special Video Message—You may be providing a keepsake that your loved ones will treasure forever.

Encouraging, loving and supporting others does make us feel good. It uplifts us and helps us feel meaningful and full of purpose. Ultimately, we have to remember that it’s not about you—it’s about the person on the receiving end. 

A virtual meal or handwritten letter may not feel as satisfying to give right now. However, it can still help your loved one’s big life moments bring them the joy and peace they may need. That’s one of the special perks of having you in their life.

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Brote de COVID-19: Qué hacer cuando se siente solo

Las condiciones son perfectas para que un Asesino silencioso ataque nuestras mentes, cuerpos y en la mayoría específicamente las emociones dentro de nuestra nueva cultura de distanciamiento social. Ese asesino silencioso, la soledad. 

Vamos a entender qué es la soledad. Los científicos sociales, según lo informado por el American Enterprise Institute (AEI), definen la soledad como “el dolor que uno siente como resultado de una discrepancia entre las necesidades sociales y la capacidad de satisfacer esas necesidades”.

Dicho de otra manera, cuando nuestra necesidad de conexión, interacción y pertenencia no está satisfecha y nos sentimos incapaces de satisfacer esas necesidades, ese dolor que sentimos es la soledad. ¿Por qué las condiciones actuales son adecuadas para la soledad?

Edictos como “distanciamiento social”, “trabajo desde casa”, “refugio en el lugar”, pueden preparar el escenario para una mayor soledad. Se detienen las actividades regulares, como salidas al bar después del trabajo, estudios en grupos pequeños, fiestas de cumpleaños, vitas a la iglesia en sábado / domingo. Nuestros lugares de empleo, escuelas y comunidades cívicas de las que formamos parte son lugares donde a menudo nos conectamos e interactuamos con las personas. Estos lugares, donde nos conectamos con personas que nos ayudan a sentir que pertenecemos, han cerrado sus puertas.

Es importante que no nos permitamos sentirnos indefensos durante este tiempo de aislamiento forzado. Esta es un área donde la tecnología realmente puede ayudar. Mi hijo y yo hemos sido parte de un pequeño grupo que se reúne cada dos semanas. Anoche fue la primera vez que hicimos la reunión en línea debido a COVID-19. Fue bastante alentador.

Interactuamos con personas con las que tenemos conexiones profundas dentro de una comunidad a la que pertenecemos. Pudimos reír, hablar y ser conocidos por personas que se preocupan por nosotros. Decidimos aumentar nuestra frecuencia de reuniones cada dos semanas porque nos dimos cuenta de lo alentador que era para nuestra mente y estado de ánimo. Parte del propósito de formar comunidades sociales es ayudarnos a superar los tiempos difíciles.

¿Cómo usamos la tecnología para ayudarnos a evitar el ataque de la soledad? No cancele las fechas de salir a tomar un café que tiene con sus amigos o la bebida posterior al trabajo que tiene con sus compañeros de trabajo.  Continúe con sus reuniones de grupos pequeños y las fechas de salidas con su pareja. SOLO HAGALO EN LÍNEA. Programe una fecha virtual con Google Meet, FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, Houseparty o cualquiera de las otras aplicaciones disponibles.

Las llamadas telefónicas son agradables y los mensajes de texto pueden ser útiles. Sin embargo, no hay nada que se compare con la interacción cara a cara y lo que hace por nuestra conectividad emocional. La capacidad de ver la empatía, la alegría compartida o la gran emoción en la cara de su amigo mejora la conexión de manera que los emojis y el tono de voz no coinciden.

Combatir la soledad no se trata de la cantidad de personas con las que interactúa. Shasta Nelson, experta en relaciones saludables y autora de  Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships forLifelong Health and Happinessy Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to recreating a Meaningful Circle of Girlfriends.  (Frientimidad: cómo profundizar las amistades para la salud y la felicidad para toda la vida y las amistades no solo suceden. La guía para recrear un círculo significativo de amigas.); no cree que la respuesta a la soledad sea salir y hacer más amigos, sino profundizar las relaciones actuales. Es intencional crear oportunidades para una interacción significativa dentro de las comunidades a las que pertenece. Y dentro de esas interacciones significativas, debemos aprovechar las oportunidades para conectarnos a un nivel más profundo, ser vulnerables, ser reconocido.

Piense en las personas en su comunidad social, ya sea familia, amigos, iglesia, etc. ¿Con quién ya tiene conexiones profundas? ¿Con quién quiere desarrollar conexiones más profundas? ¿Quiénes son las personas con las que se siente más seguro? Necesitamos sentirnos amados y apoyados durante los momentos difíciles. No solo necesitamos sentirnos amados y apoyados, sino que también debemos recordar a los demás que también son más vulnerables a la soledad. Llegar a los necesitados es una forma de atacar nuestra propia soledad.

Nelson sugiere que cuando alguien siente una deficiencia de amor y apoyo, “[deberían] considerar con quién en su vida desearían construir una relación más significativa o más cercana y luego hacer una lista. Comienca a priorizar esas relaciones “. Hay momentos en que la soledad está en un lugar donde necesitamos llamar y obtener ayuda de los profesionales. No sienta que tiene que superar esto solo. Muchos profesionales se reúnen por teléfono o videoconferencia durante este período de distanciamiento social.

Como estamos siendo intencionales sobre priorizar las relaciones, no dude en reunirse en línea para tomar un café. Programe un té con Google Meet. Cree una invitación de calendario para su club de lectura en Zoom. Use Skype para que usted y sus amigos trabajen juntos. Configure un chat de video con un vecino adulto mayor. Cree fechas virtuales dentro de su comunidad social para disminuir y, con suerte, minimizar la discrepancia entre sus necesidades sociales y su capacidad para satisfacer esas necesidades. Y mientras interactúa, conéctese, realmente conéctese. Su bienestar emocional lo necesita.

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Diario de COVID-19 para niños de todas las edades

El diario no es solo para la escuela. Puede ayudar a sus hijos en una variedad de formas personales que también pueden ayudarlo a usted como padre a entenderse mejor con sus hijos durante esta cuarentena COVID-19 si están dispuestos a compartir sus pensamientos. A veces ponen algo escrito que quizás no le digan.

Seamos honestos: incluso con la “escuela”, sus hijos probablemente necesitan algunas cosas constructivas para hacer de todos modos. Escribir un diario puede encender su imaginación, mejorar sus habilidades de escritura y cultivar la autoconciencia. ¡Además, puede ser divertido y darle algo para iniciar una conversación! Hágalo parte de su rutina diaria, tal vez lo primero que hacen después del desayuno o lo último que hacen antes de acostarse.

Entonces, dele un vistazo a la casa: ¿hay un cuaderno o libreta vacía que pueda usar? A los niños les encantan sus dispositivos electrónicos, pero solo los usaría como último recurso absoluto. Puede inventar los temas, pero trate de hacerlos lo más abiertos posible o agregue un “¿Por qué?” al final. Por supuesto, mantenga temas apropiados para la edad e intereses de su hijo. ¡A continuación hay un montón de sugerencias de temas de revistas para que piense! Pero para revisar solo algunos de los beneficios del diario para su hijo:

El diario puede:

  • Aclarar sus pensamientos y sentimientos.
  • Ayudarlos a conocerse mejor.
  • reducir su estrés
  • Darle una idea de cómo están lidiando con nuestra situación actual.

Escuela primaria

  • Lista de cosas que me hacen feliz.
  • Desearía saber más sobre …
  • ¿Qué es algo importante para mi familia?
  • ¿Cuál ha sido tu cosa favorita que aprendiste del trabajo o tarea escolar?
  • Mi parte favorita de la semana pasada fue …
  • Tres cosas de las que me gustaría hablar.
  • Si pudiera cambiar el nombre de los colores de los crayones …
  • Lo que más extraño de estar en cuarentena. Lo que menos extraño.
  • ¿Cuál es mi postre favorito y por qué?
  • Si pudiera crear una nueva criatura … [¿Describir y dibujar?]
  • Si mi perro o gato pudieran hablar, diría cosas como …
  • Me sentí orgulloso cuando
  • Cinco cosas en las que soy bueno son …
  • Si un genio me concediera tres deseos …
  • Si estuviera a cargo del clima …
  • Mis vacaciones favoritas son …

Escuela intermedia- Secundaria

  • ¿Qué pasaría si encontraras oro en tu patio?
  • ¿Qué pasaría si los animales pudieran hablar? ¿Qué preguntas te gustaría hacerles?
  • Si pudieras haber sido alguien en la historia, ¿quién hubieras sido? ¿Por qué?
  • Le enseñé a alguien cómo …
  • Solo puedes llevar a 3 personas contigo en un viaje alrededor del mundo, ¿a quién llevarías?
  • Oh, no, estoy en cuarentena y no puedo …
  • Si pudieras dar algún regalo en el mundo, ¿qué le darías y a quién?
  • La casa estaba muy tranquila, pero luego escuché …
  • Si pudieras vivir en cualquier parte del mundo, ¿dónde sería?
  • Si recibiera una suma de dinero como regalo, ¿qué harías con él?
  • ¿Alguna vez atrapaste luciérnagas? ¿Grillos? ¿Ranas? ¿Serpientes? ¿Por qué o por qué no?
  • ¿Cuál ha sido tu experiencia de vida más difícil o más alegre?
  • ¿Las MEJORES / PEORES formas en que la cuarentena ha afectado a mi familia?
  • Haz una lista de tus manías y escribe sobre por qué te molesta.
  • ¿Qué es algo que aprecias de tus padres? ¿Por qué?
  • Escribe sobre una ventana que se rompió o algo valioso que se perdió.
  • ¿Qué pasaría si de repente comenzara a llover espagueti y albóndigas?

Escuela Preparatoria

  • Describe la fecha especial perfecta.
  • ¿Qué es el coraje? ¿Qué es lo más valiente que has hecho?
  • Describe un héroe. Puede ser alguien que conoces o simplemente cualidades de un héroe.
  • ¿Cuál es tu actividad favorita? ¿Con quién lo haces? ¿Por qué crees que lo disfrutas?
  • Escribe sobre un buen libro que hayas leído recientemente.
  • Las mejores y peores partes de la cuarentena son …
  • ¿Qué harás de manera diferente cuando seas padre? ¿Por qué?
  • ¿Pasas demasiado tiempo con dispositivos electrónicos? ¿Por qué  o por qué no?
  • ¿Qué crees que debería haberse inventado o NO y por qué?
  • Meniona un problema mundial importante y cómo cree que deberíamos resolverlo.
  • ¿Crees que hay o alguna vez hubo vida en otro planeta?
  • ¿Cuál es el problema más importante que enfrentan los adolescentes de tu edad hoy en día?
  • ¿Alguna vez te dieron una responsabilidad que no sentías que podrías manejar?
  • Describe el mejor concierto al que hayas asistido.
  • Escribe sobre un momento en que trataste de ayudar y terminaste empeorando las cosas.
  • ¿Alguna vez rompiste una promesa importante?
  • Escribe sobre una mudanza a otra ciudad, vecindario o casa.
  • ¿Alguna vez conociste a una persona famosa? ¿Interactuaste con ellos en las redes sociales?
  • Describe un accidente de automóvil o bicicleta que hayas tenido.
  • Si pudieras pasar un día en otro país, ¿cuál elegirías? ¿Por qué?
  • Describe un momento en que superaste a alguien.
  • Escribe sobre ir a comprar ropa nueva.
  • ¿Alguna delataste a alguien o le contaste a alguien algo confidencial y te sentiste mal por eso después?
  • ¿Alguna vez tus padres te avergonzaron?
  • ¿Recuerdas alguna vez que le diste un buen consejo a alguien? ¿Cuál fue?

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