On a recent podcast, Dr. Orna Guralnik, the psychoanalyst many viewers know simply as “Dr. Orna” from Showtime’s Couples Therapy, was asked what she has learned about love after years of sitting with couples. Earlier in her career, she said, she believed compatibility was one of the greatest predictors of success. Find the person who…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/pexels-raju-37320715-scaled.jpg13632048Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-06-07 11:00:002026-06-01 12:06:34The Gift of Loving Someone Different
A few weeks ago, I found myself standing in a room full of college students talking about relationships. Some were engaged. Some were dating someone seriously. A few were still figuring out what they wanted. At one point, someone raised their hand and asked a question that made the whole room quiet. “How do you…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/pexels-jasminecarter-888899.jpg13332000Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-03-22 08:00:002026-03-16 15:05:58Defining Clarity Before Marriage
According to a global team of researchers, people who meet their romantic partners online tend to be a little less satisfied in their relationships than people who meet the old-fashioned way, through friends, work, or a random meet-cute at the grocery store. Now before anyone throws their dating app out the window, let me say…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/pexels-cottonbro-7350911-scaled.jpg13652048Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2025-09-07 08:00:002025-09-06 12:51:13New Study Shows Online Dating Can Lead to Lower Relationship Satisfaction
Some say opposites attract. Others argue that similarity is the glue. So which is it? Turns out, science is siding with the “birds of a feather” crowd. A massive meta-analysis of 313 studies found that both actual and perceived similarity increase attraction between people. Perceived similarity (thinking we’re alike) helps in early dating, but actual…
Valentine’s Day, the annual celebration of love, is a day steeped in both history and tradition. Yet, like the best love stories, its origins are a little mysterious, a bit quirky, and undeniably charming. So, before we dive into how you and your loved one can celebrate in meaningful ways that don’t involve crowded restaurants…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Untitled-design-5.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2025-02-02 09:08:082025-02-19 12:16:25The Real Meaning of Valentine’s Day and How to Celebrate
Conflict is necessary and unavoidable in relationships. In fact, many couples argue over not only topics and scenarios but the different ways in which they handle conflict. There are four major ways in which we respond to threats. These responses often present themselves during conflict: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. The fight response is the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-design.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-06-27 14:46:172025-02-19 11:55:12How to Turn Conflict into Connection
Lots of people believe in the idea of soulmates. You might have seen it in movies or read about it in fairy tales. But is it true? Recent surveys asked around 15,000 adults in the United States about this. Surprisingly, 60% of them said yes, they believe everyone has a soulmate. But is this belief…
“I think my spouse is depressed. How do I support them?” “I’m single and depressed. Will I ever find love?” “My relationship is unhealthy and it’s taking a toll. What should I do?” These are just a few of the questions we hear regularly at First Things First about mental health concerns and intimate relationships.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/How-and-Why-Intimate-Relationships-Affect-Mental-Health.gif420800Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2023-10-04 22:43:032023-10-04 22:45:05How and Why Intimate Relationships Affect Mental Health: What the Research Says
Our world is filled with technological devices and relationships. With technology always (or nearly always) with us, we can be more productive and fill in the gaps in our day. Isn’t that a good thing? Maybe. Let’s look at how technology impacts your relationship with your significant other. Remember: Technology is a tool. It can…
You’re constantly fighting with your significant other and just can’t take it anymore. Your spouse continually ignores you, and you feel so alone in your marriage. There’s a piece of you that wants to make it work, but you’re also exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically. What do you do? A quick Google search will provide…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/When-to-save-a-relationship_.png420800Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2023-06-27 16:51:222023-07-20 13:14:45When to Leave and When to Save a Relationship
Knowing some things ahead of time can lead to a happier relationship.
More than 2 million marriages take place annually in America.“Almost all couples anticipate ‘living happily ever after,’” according to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married. “No one gets married hoping to be miserable or to make their spouse miserable, yet the highest percentage of divorce occurs within the first seven years of marriage.”When you consider the fact that most people spend more time planning and training for their vocation than they do for thei…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Things-I-Wish-I-had-known-before-Marriage-1.jpg9001400Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-03-17 00:00:002022-04-19 14:06:306 Things To Know Before You Get Married
How Porn Impacts the Brain warns about some of the dangers of porn addiction.There is no question that pornography impacts the brain. Research says it’s more addictive than cocaine and it's a habit harder to break than heroin.The U.S. Justice Department believes that 9 out of 10 children see online porn between the ages of 8 and 16.
So you’re planning a wedding. Everyone from family and friends to social media is giving you advice so your day can be all that you could ever dream of. Plus, there are a ton of tips and lists out there of all you should do to make your wedding day perfect and memorable. It can…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-4-01-1.png5001200Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-10-26 14:13:332021-10-27 10:10:4011 Things NOT To Do When Planning A Wedding
There are many factors to consider about marriage.
I’m a man who didn’t want to get married. I’ve lived with the mother of my children for 15 years. Fifteen years. Now, I realize the importance of marriage and wish I had gotten married years ago. Reasons I Avoided Marriage I grew up around people that didn’t value marriage. My parents never got married.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-7-01.png5001200James Woodshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJames Woods2021-10-07 14:11:332021-10-07 15:36:083 Reasons We’re Getting Married After Living Together
Romantic relationships are full of big decisions. One decision that’s gonna present itself is A) Do we move in together? and/or B) Do we get married? 59% of adults under the age of 45 have decided to move in together at some point. Then there’s the question: What would change if we got married? Is…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Couple-01.png8542048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-06-10 13:22:232021-06-18 15:19:18What’s the Difference Between Living Together and Marriage
Do your homework on the topic and move forward from there.
You may be trying to decide: Should we move in together? Or perhaps you already live together and have some questions. Is living together bad for your relationship? Is this going to be good or bad for us? You’ve probably heard lots of strong opinions. Let me be straight-up with you; there’s no simple answer. …
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/BlogPicCoupleMoving-01.png8542048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-06-04 10:26:562021-06-09 10:24:00Is Living Together Bad for Your Relationship?
Find out if living together will help you accomplish what you want.
Living together is pretty common these days. For many, living together is a natural progression in the evolution of their relationship, which may or may not lead to marriage. But it has its own set of complications, and there are things every couple should know before they move in together. I’m not trying to convince…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Anotha-One-01.png8542048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-06-03 16:14:402021-08-25 11:40:325 Things Every Couple Should Know Before They Move In Together
Your wedding was not the most important day in your marriage. Today is. What if I could tell you about the future of your marriage? For the moment, let’s say I can. (Because I can.) Brace yourself, my newlywed friend. I come from over 25 years in the future of your marriage. What do you…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/creating-a-brand-a2BZAKHGGCo-unsplash-1.jpg10192374John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-02-16 11:01:332022-12-21 08:51:395 Ways Your Relationship Changes After You Get Married
Don’t beat yourself up over the blues; just beat ‘em.
“Post-Wedding Blues” are absolutely a thing. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. And definitely don’t feel bad for feeling them. You don’t need to be worried or secretly guilt-ridden. “Blues” are totally understandable. And you can get your head around your heart. Check this out… Which of these television couples were you just hoping could…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/blake-carpenter-uOrmKHggRY4-unsplash.jpg20481368John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-02-15 09:18:332021-02-18 10:29:30Do I Have Post-Wedding Blues?
Make their heart happy with these out-of-the-box ideas!
Valentine’s Day is a great time to get outside the heart-shaped chocolate box and celebrate love and romance in a BIG way! If you want a hand in making this day unique for your Valentine, you’ve come to the right place. These 10 creative ideas will help you connect and play as you set this…
The Gift of Loving Someone Different
On a recent podcast, Dr. Orna Guralnik, the psychoanalyst many viewers know simply as “Dr. Orna” from Showtime’s Couples Therapy, was asked what she has learned about love after years of sitting with couples. Earlier in her career, she said, she believed compatibility was one of the greatest predictors of success. Find the person who…
Defining Clarity Before Marriage
A few weeks ago, I found myself standing in a room full of college students talking about relationships. Some were engaged. Some were dating someone seriously. A few were still figuring out what they wanted. At one point, someone raised their hand and asked a question that made the whole room quiet. “How do you…
New Study Shows Online Dating Can Lead to Lower Relationship Satisfaction
According to a global team of researchers, people who meet their romantic partners online tend to be a little less satisfied in their relationships than people who meet the old-fashioned way, through friends, work, or a random meet-cute at the grocery store. Now before anyone throws their dating app out the window, let me say…
Do Similarities Attract in Romantic Relationships?
Some say opposites attract. Others argue that similarity is the glue. So which is it? Turns out, science is siding with the “birds of a feather” crowd. A massive meta-analysis of 313 studies found that both actual and perceived similarity increase attraction between people. Perceived similarity (thinking we’re alike) helps in early dating, but actual…
The Real Meaning of Valentine’s Day and How to Celebrate
Valentine’s Day, the annual celebration of love, is a day steeped in both history and tradition. Yet, like the best love stories, its origins are a little mysterious, a bit quirky, and undeniably charming. So, before we dive into how you and your loved one can celebrate in meaningful ways that don’t involve crowded restaurants…
How to Turn Conflict into Connection
Conflict is necessary and unavoidable in relationships. In fact, many couples argue over not only topics and scenarios but the different ways in which they handle conflict. There are four major ways in which we respond to threats. These responses often present themselves during conflict: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. The fight response is the…
Are Soulmates Real?
Lots of people believe in the idea of soulmates. You might have seen it in movies or read about it in fairy tales. But is it true? Recent surveys asked around 15,000 adults in the United States about this. Surprisingly, 60% of them said yes, they believe everyone has a soulmate. But is this belief…
How and Why Intimate Relationships Affect Mental Health: What the Research Says
“I think my spouse is depressed. How do I support them?” “I’m single and depressed. Will I ever find love?” “My relationship is unhealthy and it’s taking a toll. What should I do?” These are just a few of the questions we hear regularly at First Things First about mental health concerns and intimate relationships.…
Technoference In Relationships
Our world is filled with technological devices and relationships. With technology always (or nearly always) with us, we can be more productive and fill in the gaps in our day. Isn’t that a good thing? Maybe. Let’s look at how technology impacts your relationship with your significant other. Remember: Technology is a tool. It can…
When to Leave and When to Save a Relationship
You’re constantly fighting with your significant other and just can’t take it anymore. Your spouse continually ignores you, and you feel so alone in your marriage. There’s a piece of you that wants to make it work, but you’re also exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically. What do you do? A quick Google search will provide…
6 Things To Know Before You Get Married
More than 2 million marriages take place annually in America.“Almost all couples anticipate ‘living happily ever after,’” according to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married. “No one gets married hoping to be miserable or to make their spouse miserable, yet the highest percentage of divorce occurs within the first seven years of marriage.”When you consider the fact that most people spend more time planning and training for their vocation than they do for thei…
9 Warning Signs of Porn Addiction
How Porn Impacts the Brain warns about some of the dangers of porn addiction.There is no question that pornography impacts the brain. Research says it’s more addictive than cocaine and it's a habit harder to break than heroin.The U.S. Justice Department believes that 9 out of 10 children see online porn between the ages of 8 and 16.
11 Things NOT To Do When Planning A Wedding
So you’re planning a wedding. Everyone from family and friends to social media is giving you advice so your day can be all that you could ever dream of. Plus, there are a ton of tips and lists out there of all you should do to make your wedding day perfect and memorable. It can…
3 Reasons We’re Getting Married After Living Together
I’m a man who didn’t want to get married. I’ve lived with the mother of my children for 15 years. Fifteen years. Now, I realize the importance of marriage and wish I had gotten married years ago. Reasons I Avoided Marriage I grew up around people that didn’t value marriage. My parents never got married.…
What’s the Difference Between Living Together and Marriage
Romantic relationships are full of big decisions. One decision that’s gonna present itself is A) Do we move in together? and/or B) Do we get married? 59% of adults under the age of 45 have decided to move in together at some point. Then there’s the question: What would change if we got married? Is…
Is Living Together Bad for Your Relationship?
You may be trying to decide: Should we move in together? Or perhaps you already live together and have some questions. Is living together bad for your relationship? Is this going to be good or bad for us? You’ve probably heard lots of strong opinions. Let me be straight-up with you; there’s no simple answer. …
5 Things Every Couple Should Know Before They Move In Together
Living together is pretty common these days. For many, living together is a natural progression in the evolution of their relationship, which may or may not lead to marriage. But it has its own set of complications, and there are things every couple should know before they move in together. I’m not trying to convince…
5 Ways Your Relationship Changes After You Get Married
Your wedding was not the most important day in your marriage. Today is. What if I could tell you about the future of your marriage? For the moment, let’s say I can. (Because I can.) Brace yourself, my newlywed friend. I come from over 25 years in the future of your marriage. What do you…
Do I Have Post-Wedding Blues?
“Post-Wedding Blues” are absolutely a thing. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. And definitely don’t feel bad for feeling them. You don’t need to be worried or secretly guilt-ridden. “Blues” are totally understandable. And you can get your head around your heart. Check this out… Which of these television couples were you just hoping could…
10 Creative Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is a great time to get outside the heart-shaped chocolate box and celebrate love and romance in a BIG way! If you want a hand in making this day unique for your Valentine, you’ve come to the right place. These 10 creative ideas will help you connect and play as you set this…
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