Lots of people believe in the idea of soulmates. You might have seen it in movies or read about it in fairy tales. But is it true? Recent surveys asked around 15,000 adults in the United States about this. Surprisingly, 60% of them said yes, they believe everyone has a soulmate. But is this belief actually helpful when it comes to real relationships?

While the idea of a soulmate is deeply a part of our modern dating culture, relationship experts caution against falling into the trap of what they term the “soulmate model of marriage.”

Some experts say no. They warn against what they call the “soulmate model of marriage.” This idea suggests that everyone has a special person destined to be with them forever. But believing this can lead to problems in relationships. For example, if you think you’re meant to be with someone, you might not try as hard to make the relationship work. And if things get tough, you might give up too easily, thinking you’re not really soulmates.

A recent study involving 615 couples in the United States and Canada looked into this idea. It found that what really makes a relationship last isn’t just fate or strong feelings. Instead, it’s things like being a good person, having faith, and working hard to make the relationship strong.

So, instead of focusing on finding your soulmate, experts suggest these five things to build a healthy relationship:

  • Don’t treat relationships like shopping: Relationships are not something you get and give; they require investment and commitment.
  • Be realistic: Understand that love grows over time through shared experiences and mutual efforts.
  • Understand love: Recognize that lasting love is built on intentional actions, not just emotions.
  • Date well: Prioritize shared values, equal partnership, and effective communication during the dating phase.
  • Learn from breakups: Learn from past experiences without losing hope for future connections.

Remember, soulmates aren’t just found, they’re made. When people actively choose each other, work on their relationship together, and stay loyal, they build a strong connection. So instead of waiting for fate to bring you together, focus on being a good partner and building a strong relationship.

While the idea of finding your soulmate might sound nice, having a healthy, stable relationship is even better.

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