Connect, grow, and course-correct. Your marriage will thank you!
In your marriage, have you ever: Let an issue fester to the point it felt impossible to talk about? Left the kids somewhere because you thought your spouse would get them? Worked late and forgot an important family event? Been disappointed about something but never stopped to work through it? Staying on the same page…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/flavia-gava-ul6CnGAlQRM-unsplash-scaled.jpg8772048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-04-29 11:49:092021-05-11 10:33:06Steps to a Productive Marriage Check-In
It starts with a desire to see them happy, at peace, and connected.
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. The Puzzled Look on my daughter’s face turned to a smile, and then came the proverbial rolling of the eyes (and that’s a good thing). Here’s the conversation: Daughter: You’re really not going to be at our basketball game Saturday? (Said with disbelief). Me: Nope. I’m taking…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-jonathan-borba-6520595-scaled-e1619642351186.jpg8522048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-04-28 16:39:282021-05-11 10:41:16What Does It Mean to Put Your Spouse First?
There are many common challenges and misunderstandings.
“In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child.” ~ Jodi Picoult Children bury their parents up on a hill. It’s the sad, natural cycle of life. But parents bury their kids deep in their hearts for the rest of their lives. Then,…
Married, yet hiding from your spouse. Such is life when you don’t feel emotionally safe in your marriage. There are parts of you, your personality, dreams, feelings, or thoughts, locked inside, unavailable to your spouse. Exposing them puts you at risk for rejection, criticism, or neglect. You don’t wanna live like this anymore. You want…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/marc-a-sporys-wHaQ4XJ9SgY-unsplash-1-scaled.jpg8922048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-04-20 13:31:122021-04-30 15:05:51What to Do When You Don’t Feel Emotionally Safe in Your Marriage
These questions can help you find the right counselor.
The hero saves the princess. He rescues her from the evil stepmother, eternal sleep, or whatever danger she faces. With one kiss, they live happily ever after. That was the childhood goal, right? Happily ever after? What the stories failed to tell us is that happily ever after doesn’t just happen. My wife and I…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabriel-bastelli-1759823-scaled-e1617721648251.jpg330900Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-04-06 11:07:452021-04-13 11:59:56How to Find a Counselor Who Will Fight for Your Marriage
You want to be your spouse’s hero? Their most trusted confidant? The one who supports them and helps them flourish? The one they share their wildest, most audacious dreams with? None of it happens if you aren’t the emotionally safe person your spouse needs. When you’re emotionally safe, you’ve removed yourself as a barrier to…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-william-fortunato-6392957-1-scaled.jpg7962048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-03-26 13:05:582021-04-28 12:11:48How to Be An Emotionally Safe Spouse
Communication is the lifeline of any relationship. —Elizabeth Bourgeret
We have all seen the sitcom where one spouse is talking, and the other one seems zoned out. And maybe you laugh as your friend rolls their eyes while making a talking motion with their hand as their spouse repeats that “same old story.” However, it’s not so funny when someone does it to you.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4308042-1-scaled-e1616678463284.jpg436900Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-03-25 09:21:152021-03-25 16:14:39Reasons Why Your Spouse Won’t Listen to You
Here's some help for those times when silence is NOT golden.
When your spouse gives you the silent treatment, it can be frustrating, painful, and confusing. It happens when one spouse refuses to communicate, ignores, withdraws from, or totally avoids their partner. It may not mean there’s absolute silence. You might still talk about daily tasks like who’s picking up the kids, who’s handling laundry, or…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-alex-green-5700173-1-scaled-e1616678141136.jpg371900Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-03-25 09:16:212021-03-25 10:28:16What To Do When Your Spouse Gives You The Silent Treatment
Talking about your expectations can help your relationship thrive.
Expectations are part of a healthy marriage. But unmet expectations can cause frustration and tension. You expect something from your spouse. Maybe you expect them to do something (but they’re not). Or to not do something (but they are). Your expectation is for them to live up to a certain standard. And for whatever reason,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/josue-michel-jOyLoY6JGb0-unsplash-scaled-e1616532240706.jpg375900Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-03-23 16:44:192021-05-12 14:42:33What to Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Meet Your Expectations
Your expectations don't have to derail your relationship!
We all have expectations. We expect the sun to rise and seasons to change (all in one day for those of us in Tennessee). Perhaps we expect our spouse to put their dirty clothes in the hamper. We expect the post office to deliver our mail. We base our expectations on personal experiences and understanding,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/charly-pn-o2w2ylrLyRE-unsplash-scaled-e1616507109975.jpg373900Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-03-23 09:45:452021-03-25 10:46:54The Difference Between Realistic and Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage
Talk about tackling all the things together, as a team!
Dishes, laundry, yard work, cleaning, cooking… oh my! The chore list is long, and the questions are many. Who does what? How do we make this fair? Am I doing too much? Why doesn’t my spouse do more? A big part of marriage is managing and maintaining a house and all the responsibilities a home…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-william-fortunato-6392863-scaled-e1615985423796.jpg319900Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-03-17 08:51:102021-03-22 23:01:19How to Divide Household Chores Fairly in Marriage
Here are some tricks to help them feel your support.
You want to get a degree. Your spouse wants to lose some pounds. You want to stop smoking. Your spouse wants to start gardening. You want to tap into your artistic talents. Your spouse wants to tap dance. And you, being the committed, loving spouse that you are, want to be fully supportive. But, if…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/cesar-abner-martinez-aguilar-_Z4Wb077Gfo-unsplash-1-scaled.jpg6532048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-03-12 21:07:262021-03-16 12:39:49How to Be a More Supportive Spouse
When you dreamed about marriage, you probably had some things on your perfect partner ABC list. Things like attraction, brilliance, compassion, does anything I ask, etc. The letter “L” would have included stuff like loving or long kisses. Let me tell you what probably didn’t come to mind: Lazy spouse. Realizing that your spouse is…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/erica-marsland-huynh-Rvf2UJ3JO5U-unsplash-scaled-e1615564149225.jpg396900Kris Nashhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngKris Nash2021-03-12 10:57:232021-03-12 14:26:32So, Your Spouse Is Lazy… Here’s What to Do
The reason are complex and different from person to person.
Your husband watches porn. I’m sure this has caused some mixed feelings within you. Should you be concerned? Or should you be okay with this? Or maybe you’re concerned about how okay you are with it. And you’re not sure how you feel about that. But your big question is, Why? What’s the allure, the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-junior-teixeira-2047905-scaled-e1615238689612.jpg405900Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-03-08 16:25:032021-03-09 10:29:04Why Does My Husband Watch Porn?
Bring more fun and joy to your relationship by dating each other!
It’s the time of year for flowers, birds, and butterflies. Spring is known as a time of rebirth after the dormant season of winter. For many, it’s the time for spring cleaning and sprucing up your home, inside and outside. Likewise, making time to spruce up your relationship may be what you need to stir…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4886788-scaled-e1615238182287.jpg357900Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-03-08 16:16:392021-03-09 09:09:4025 Fun Dates to Spruce Up Your Marriage This Spring
These things can get you on the road to a more fulfilling marriage.
Do you want to knock your spouse off their feet? Want your spouse to want more sex without even saying the word “sex”? Wanna keep a smile on your spouse’s face and have them bragging about you to others? The secret (drumroll, please): Generosity. Overwhelm them with generosity. Generosity in marriage is quite underrated. But…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-laura-garcia-4924903-scaled-e1614621518255.jpg312900Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-03-01 12:59:052021-03-12 08:54:46Practical Ways to Practice Generosity in Marriage
Strengthen the foundation of your relationship with these tips.
Trust is the foundation of a healthy marriage. It’s like oil in a car engine, heat in an oven, Beyoncé in Destiny’s Child. Without it, things just don’t work well. Ideally, marital trust should grow with time. It’s a glue in your relationship that ought to get stronger, even though it isn’t always the case.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/pexels-terrillo-walls-2230015-1-scaled-e1614358637363.jpg355900Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-02-26 11:57:282021-03-09 10:23:487 Ways to Increase Trust in Marriage
You know that couple. The one who has been married for many years and seems just as madly in love today as when they said, “I do.” You know who I’m talking about. Do you ever sit back and ask yourself how they do it? I do. If you could sit down and talk to…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/pexels-keira-burton-6147180-scaled-e1614176287871.jpg20481365Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-02-24 09:18:562021-03-12 08:50:28Why Generosity Matters in Your Marriage
Turns out, taking care of yourself helps you take care of each other.
Want a healthy, lasting marriage? Be prepared to be alone and focus on yourself. Totally. Backed. By. Research. “Alone Time” is part of what is frequently referred to as “Self-Care.” You and your spouse need it. You both probably work and stuff, so free time is couple time, right? And it should be. That’s why…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/team-fredi-Giofbyn4TTE-unsplash-e1613684068438.jpg492900John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-02-18 16:34:372021-03-17 12:51:52What Britney Spears Has to Teach Us About Alone Time in Marriage
What would the world be like without good communication? Airports would be a complete wreck (figuratively and literally). Kids couldn’t learn reading, writing, ’rithmetic, and computer coding. The barista at Starbucks would write a completely different name on my cup for my order. (Okay, well, that happens anyway.) Not to mention… marriage would be chaotic! …
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/amy-humphries-eWxB-BMzd5w-unsplash-scaled-e1613497371622.jpg13572048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-02-16 12:43:062021-02-16 13:42:35How to Communicate Better With Your Spouse
Steps to a Productive Marriage Check-In
In your marriage, have you ever: Let an issue fester to the point it felt impossible to talk about? Left the kids somewhere because you thought your spouse would get them? Worked late and forgot an important family event? Been disappointed about something but never stopped to work through it? Staying on the same page…
What Does It Mean to Put Your Spouse First?
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. The Puzzled Look on my daughter’s face turned to a smile, and then came the proverbial rolling of the eyes (and that’s a good thing). Here’s the conversation: Daughter: You’re really not going to be at our basketball game Saturday? (Said with disbelief). Me: Nope. I’m taking…
Grieving Infertility and Miscarriages
“In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child.” ~ Jodi Picoult Children bury their parents up on a hill. It’s the sad, natural cycle of life. But parents bury their kids deep in their hearts for the rest of their lives. Then,…
What to Do When You Don’t Feel Emotionally Safe in Your Marriage
Married, yet hiding from your spouse. Such is life when you don’t feel emotionally safe in your marriage. There are parts of you, your personality, dreams, feelings, or thoughts, locked inside, unavailable to your spouse. Exposing them puts you at risk for rejection, criticism, or neglect. You don’t wanna live like this anymore. You want…
How to Find a Counselor Who Will Fight for Your Marriage
The hero saves the princess. He rescues her from the evil stepmother, eternal sleep, or whatever danger she faces. With one kiss, they live happily ever after. That was the childhood goal, right? Happily ever after? What the stories failed to tell us is that happily ever after doesn’t just happen. My wife and I…
How to Be An Emotionally Safe Spouse
You want to be your spouse’s hero? Their most trusted confidant? The one who supports them and helps them flourish? The one they share their wildest, most audacious dreams with? None of it happens if you aren’t the emotionally safe person your spouse needs. When you’re emotionally safe, you’ve removed yourself as a barrier to…
Reasons Why Your Spouse Won’t Listen to You
We have all seen the sitcom where one spouse is talking, and the other one seems zoned out. And maybe you laugh as your friend rolls their eyes while making a talking motion with their hand as their spouse repeats that “same old story.” However, it’s not so funny when someone does it to you.…
What To Do When Your Spouse Gives You The Silent Treatment
When your spouse gives you the silent treatment, it can be frustrating, painful, and confusing. It happens when one spouse refuses to communicate, ignores, withdraws from, or totally avoids their partner. It may not mean there’s absolute silence. You might still talk about daily tasks like who’s picking up the kids, who’s handling laundry, or…
What to Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Meet Your Expectations
Expectations are part of a healthy marriage. But unmet expectations can cause frustration and tension. You expect something from your spouse. Maybe you expect them to do something (but they’re not). Or to not do something (but they are). Your expectation is for them to live up to a certain standard. And for whatever reason,…
The Difference Between Realistic and Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage
We all have expectations. We expect the sun to rise and seasons to change (all in one day for those of us in Tennessee). Perhaps we expect our spouse to put their dirty clothes in the hamper. We expect the post office to deliver our mail. We base our expectations on personal experiences and understanding,…
How to Divide Household Chores Fairly in Marriage
Dishes, laundry, yard work, cleaning, cooking… oh my! The chore list is long, and the questions are many. Who does what? How do we make this fair? Am I doing too much? Why doesn’t my spouse do more? A big part of marriage is managing and maintaining a house and all the responsibilities a home…
How to Be a More Supportive Spouse
You want to get a degree. Your spouse wants to lose some pounds. You want to stop smoking. Your spouse wants to start gardening. You want to tap into your artistic talents. Your spouse wants to tap dance. And you, being the committed, loving spouse that you are, want to be fully supportive. But, if…
So, Your Spouse Is Lazy… Here’s What to Do
When you dreamed about marriage, you probably had some things on your perfect partner ABC list. Things like attraction, brilliance, compassion, does anything I ask, etc. The letter “L” would have included stuff like loving or long kisses. Let me tell you what probably didn’t come to mind: Lazy spouse. Realizing that your spouse is…
Why Does My Husband Watch Porn?
Your husband watches porn. I’m sure this has caused some mixed feelings within you. Should you be concerned? Or should you be okay with this? Or maybe you’re concerned about how okay you are with it. And you’re not sure how you feel about that. But your big question is, Why? What’s the allure, the…
25 Fun Dates to Spruce Up Your Marriage This Spring
It’s the time of year for flowers, birds, and butterflies. Spring is known as a time of rebirth after the dormant season of winter. For many, it’s the time for spring cleaning and sprucing up your home, inside and outside. Likewise, making time to spruce up your relationship may be what you need to stir…
Practical Ways to Practice Generosity in Marriage
Do you want to knock your spouse off their feet? Want your spouse to want more sex without even saying the word “sex”? Wanna keep a smile on your spouse’s face and have them bragging about you to others? The secret (drumroll, please): Generosity. Overwhelm them with generosity. Generosity in marriage is quite underrated. But…
7 Ways to Increase Trust in Marriage
Trust is the foundation of a healthy marriage. It’s like oil in a car engine, heat in an oven, Beyoncé in Destiny’s Child. Without it, things just don’t work well. Ideally, marital trust should grow with time. It’s a glue in your relationship that ought to get stronger, even though it isn’t always the case.…
Why Generosity Matters in Your Marriage
You know that couple. The one who has been married for many years and seems just as madly in love today as when they said, “I do.” You know who I’m talking about. Do you ever sit back and ask yourself how they do it? I do. If you could sit down and talk to…
What Britney Spears Has to Teach Us About Alone Time in Marriage
Want a healthy, lasting marriage? Be prepared to be alone and focus on yourself. Totally. Backed. By. Research. “Alone Time” is part of what is frequently referred to as “Self-Care.” You and your spouse need it. You both probably work and stuff, so free time is couple time, right? And it should be. That’s why…
How to Communicate Better With Your Spouse
What would the world be like without good communication? Airports would be a complete wreck (figuratively and literally). Kids couldn’t learn reading, writing, ’rithmetic, and computer coding. The barista at Starbucks would write a completely different name on my cup for my order. (Okay, well, that happens anyway.) Not to mention… marriage would be chaotic! …
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