You probably never thought it would get to this. You always seemed to like the same shows, movies, and activities, and you spent all your free time together. Now, it feels like you NEVER do anything together, or that your husband never WANTS to do anything with you. If you’re honest, it seems like all…
https://i2.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-alex-green-5700166-scaled-e1610719388431.jpg?fit=900%2C333&ssl=1333900Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-01-15 09:03:492021-01-15 09:03:53Help! My Husband is Boring
So your husband watches porn, and you’re wondering how you should feel about it. Perhaps you’re frustrated and wondering if you have a reason to be upset. Or maybe it doesn’t bother you, and that’s what bothers you. It’s probably hard to know just what to feel or think or do with this. Pornography can…
https://i2.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/AdobeStock_198969127-1-scaled-e1610143222995.jpeg?fit=900%2C371&ssl=1371900Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-01-13 16:26:032021-01-13 16:26:53Should I Be Upset That My Husband Watches Porn?
If you don't reach your goals, it doesn't mean your relationship is a failure!
It’s mid-January; how are those New Year’s resolutions going? According to data collected in 2018 by the fitness app Strava, January 17 is when many start to give up on their resolutions. By early to mid-February, many have thrown in the towel. What does this mean for you and for your relationship? If you set…
Each new year, people examine things they want to change or improve. Some people want to work on their marriage. That’s a worthy goal, but what if you’re one of those people who’s trying to save their marriage, and you feel like your spouse isn’t trying? That can be painful, for sure. Marriage is two…
https://i0.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/frustrated-upset-couple-after-quarrel-sitting-sofa-home-scaled-e1610465744432.jpg?fit=900%2C409&ssl=1409900Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-01-12 10:36:202021-01-12 17:07:51I’m Trying to Save My Marriage, but My Spouse Isn’t
Here are a few reasons you might feel this way—and what you can do about it.
Maybe when you started living with your in-laws, you didn’t think it would be all that bad. After all, they raised your spouse. But now, living with them feels like it’s destroying your marriage. Criticism. Judgment. Parenting critiques. Lack of boundaries. Arguments. Living with them seems to be impacting your marriage—not for better, but for…
https://i2.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/AdobeStock_204872376-scaled-e1596213516324.jpeg?fit=453%2C200&ssl=1200453Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-01-08 16:49:092021-01-12 13:09:41We’re Living With Our In-Laws and It’s Destroying Our Marriage
Even though it may be hard or even painful, a healthier relationship is worth the effort.
If you knew a killer was in your house, you’d fight to protect your family, right? Well, built-up resentment can be a silent killer in marriage that’s hard (but not impossible) to overcome. Festering resentment affects what you think of your spouse and how much you trust them. It can erode emotional intimacy and connectedness.…
https://i1.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/AdobeStock_204310730-e1610037612614.jpeg?fit=600%2C241&ssl=1241600Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-01-07 11:40:342021-01-07 13:00:55How to Overcome Built-Up Resentment in Marriage
A thriving marriage can be yours in the coming year, too!
2020 is finally in the rearview mirror, so let’s all breathe a collective sigh of relief. It was a challenging year for many. But as we close out that chapter, it’s good to reflect on lessons learned. I want to focus specifically on what 2020 has taught us about marriage. Many declared a year of…
https://i0.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/amanda-plata-rmSgx2PWFdA-unsplash-scaled-e1609879863397.jpg?fit=900%2C362&ssl=1362900Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-01-05 15:51:212021-01-05 16:06:48What 2020 Has Taught Us About Marriage
There are two kinds of spouses in the world. (Ugh. I can’t stand statements like this.) Those who think it’s not important to share some common interests with their spouse. Those who think not having common interests is the end of the world. (Or marriage.) They’re both wrong. “I don’t think our marriage can work.…
https://i0.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-cottonbro-4009401-scaled-e1609795555945.jpg?fit=900%2C355&ssl=1355900John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-01-04 16:26:102021-01-12 17:26:10How To Find Common Interests With Your Spouse
The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth. -Niels Bohr Do I have to tell my spouse everything? Do you want your spouse to tell you everything? It depends. It really does. What do we know for sure? Once you marry…
https://i2.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/tai-s-captures-r2V3dyuD2sg-unsplash-2-scaled-e1609795074730.jpg?fit=900%2C435&ssl=1435900John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-01-04 16:18:102021-01-05 15:44:52Do I Have To Tell My Spouse Everything?
A new year brings new opportunities, new goals, and a fresh start. As we enter 2021, many are making resolutions with a desire to improve something. According to a survey by Finder, 45% of Americans will make a health-related New Year’s resolution for 2021. So, as I sat down to write my first column for…
https://i2.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/krakenimages-4l8UH4G2_Dg-unsplash-e1609772175277.jpg?fit=900%2C438&ssl=1438900Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-01-04 09:56:322021-01-04 17:08:045 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Fit
Every relationship requires a little give and take.
We throw the words compromise and sacrifice around quite a bit in relationships. But what exactly do they mean? And don’t they mean the same thing? Well, the short answer is, not exactly. It’s complicated, kind of like relationships are sometimes. Read on to see what I mean. Both sacrifice and compromise require someone to…
https://i0.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/nathan-dumlao-c_uU7eMrr0M-unsplash-e1608666608822.jpg?fit=900%2C367&ssl=1367900Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-22 14:50:302021-01-05 15:45:20The Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise in a Relationship
How can you love your spouse and be thinking about having an affair? Is that even possible? The whole thing is super confusing. Well, believe it or not, there may be a logical explanation. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says couples need both closeness and distance to sustain a level of sexual intimacy…
https://i2.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/matteo-raw-h0ixKuuftQY-unsplash-scaled-e1608570260764.jpg?fit=800%2C296&ssl=1296800Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-12-21 12:04:332020-12-23 11:32:37I Love My Spouse, But I'm Thinking About Having an Affair
Get cozy and grow closer with this merry little list that's guaranteed to make the holidays sweeter!
The holidays are the perfect time for couples to experience closeness and connection in the spirit of the season. Try out a few of these fun holiday date ideas with the one you love most! Watch your favorite Christmas movie with some gourmet hot chocolate. Pick up some donuts and coffee and visit neighborhoods to…
https://i2.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/AdobeStock_281077623-scaled-e1608126473168.jpeg?fit=800%2C330&ssl=1330800Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-16 08:48:102020-12-16 12:22:2825 Fun Holiday Date Ideas for Couples
Protect (and maybe even save) your marriage by being open with your spouse and talking about these ideas.
Marital affairs are kind of like rust. On the surface, it’s apparent that a single, ugly event has happened. But underneath is a complex process of chemical reactions and driving forces that have built up over time. Affairs are complicated like that. And finding out why people really have affairs can be even more complicated.…
https://i1.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-luizclas-1824684-scaled-e1608040954655.jpg?fit=600%2C228&ssl=1228600Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-15 09:02:432020-12-15 15:07:29Why People Really Have Affairs (It’s Not Always Just About Sex)
Get ready to work out those communication kinks and keep the conversation going!
Healthy communication lies at the root of any successful relationship. In marriage, this is even more of a necessity. Like our muscles, our communication skills also need to be worked out. There are practices we can make part of our regular routines that will strengthen communication in our marriage. Here are four communication exercises for…
https://i1.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/dillon-kydd-TCBdkbi6uXs-unsplash-e1608040393505.jpg?fit=600%2C229&ssl=1229600Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-12-15 08:53:252020-12-15 12:44:244 Communication Exercises For Married Couples
Being together all the time can be a struggle, but these things can help your marriage thrive!
With the ongoing pandemic many couples are stuck at home together more than ever, which for some has been great. For others, it’s been a real struggle to not get on each other’s last nerve. After witnessing some of these struggles, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, wrote 5 Ways to Be…
https://i1.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/toa-heftiba-gxVG_bB2Fqo-unsplash-1.jpg?fit=1400%2C900&ssl=19001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-12-09 10:14:512020-12-14 13:32:535 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage When You’re Stuck at Home Together
Every couple experiences little instances of communication breakdown. It just happens. Of course, the little things can gradually chip away at your connectedness in your marriage. Small drops of water from a leaky pipe over time lead to big problems. Minor bad communication habits are like that. Not that big of a thing in the…
https://i0.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/jonathan-borba-V7_DdzG8qws-unsplash-scaled-e1607437550704.jpg?fit=600%2C241&ssl=1241600Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-08 09:26:032020-12-08 14:03:30How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
“But we’re only just friends!” or “I have to talk to Karen in Accounting for work!” These can be the typical responses from people having emotional or “virtual” affairs. According to several sources like psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell at The University of Tennessee Knoxville, data indicates that emotional or “virtual” affairs…
https://i1.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-freestocksorg-349494-scaled-e1606917575368.jpg?fit=600%2C199&ssl=1199600John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2020-12-02 08:59:492020-12-02 14:55:27How To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair
What if I told you you could say some magic words that would take your sex life to the next level in your marriage? Let’s try it. Ready? Say them aloud slowly and clearly: Koh-mew-nick-hey-shon. Did it work? Probably not. Magic words don’t really work that way. But there’s good news! There is something that…
https://i1.wp.com/firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-helena-lopes-2055224-scaled-e1606830771520.jpg?fit=600%2C232&ssl=1232600Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-01 08:53:072020-12-23 10:41:433 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
So, what do you do if you think your spouse’s friends are hurting your marriage? It’s essential to proceed with great care. Your goal is to voice your concern in a way that’s respectful to your spouse. How you approach the subject can move you toward resolution or, in the opposite direction, toward conflict. Proceeding with…
Help! My Husband is Boring
You probably never thought it would get to this. You always seemed to like the same shows, movies, and activities, and you spent all your free time together. Now, it feels like you NEVER do anything together, or that your husband never WANTS to do anything with you. If you’re honest, it seems like all…
Should I Be Upset That My Husband Watches Porn?
So your husband watches porn, and you’re wondering how you should feel about it. Perhaps you’re frustrated and wondering if you have a reason to be upset. Or maybe it doesn’t bother you, and that’s what bothers you. It’s probably hard to know just what to feel or think or do with this. Pornography can…
How Failed New Year’s Resolutions Can Affect Marriages
It’s mid-January; how are those New Year’s resolutions going? According to data collected in 2018 by the fitness app Strava, January 17 is when many start to give up on their resolutions. By early to mid-February, many have thrown in the towel. What does this mean for you and for your relationship? If you set…
I’m Trying to Save My Marriage, but My Spouse Isn’t
Each new year, people examine things they want to change or improve. Some people want to work on their marriage. That’s a worthy goal, but what if you’re one of those people who’s trying to save their marriage, and you feel like your spouse isn’t trying? That can be painful, for sure. Marriage is two…
We’re Living With Our In-Laws and It’s Destroying Our Marriage
Maybe when you started living with your in-laws, you didn’t think it would be all that bad. After all, they raised your spouse. But now, living with them feels like it’s destroying your marriage. Criticism. Judgment. Parenting critiques. Lack of boundaries. Arguments. Living with them seems to be impacting your marriage—not for better, but for…
How to Overcome Built-Up Resentment in Marriage
If you knew a killer was in your house, you’d fight to protect your family, right? Well, built-up resentment can be a silent killer in marriage that’s hard (but not impossible) to overcome. Festering resentment affects what you think of your spouse and how much you trust them. It can erode emotional intimacy and connectedness.…
What 2020 Has Taught Us About Marriage
2020 is finally in the rearview mirror, so let’s all breathe a collective sigh of relief. It was a challenging year for many. But as we close out that chapter, it’s good to reflect on lessons learned. I want to focus specifically on what 2020 has taught us about marriage. Many declared a year of…
How To Find Common Interests With Your Spouse
There are two kinds of spouses in the world. (Ugh. I can’t stand statements like this.) Those who think it’s not important to share some common interests with their spouse. Those who think not having common interests is the end of the world. (Or marriage.) They’re both wrong. “I don’t think our marriage can work.…
Do I Have To Tell My Spouse Everything?
The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth. -Niels Bohr Do I have to tell my spouse everything? Do you want your spouse to tell you everything? It depends. It really does. What do we know for sure? Once you marry…
5 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Fit
A new year brings new opportunities, new goals, and a fresh start. As we enter 2021, many are making resolutions with a desire to improve something. According to a survey by Finder, 45% of Americans will make a health-related New Year’s resolution for 2021. So, as I sat down to write my first column for…
The Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise in a Relationship
We throw the words compromise and sacrifice around quite a bit in relationships. But what exactly do they mean? And don’t they mean the same thing? Well, the short answer is, not exactly. It’s complicated, kind of like relationships are sometimes. Read on to see what I mean. Both sacrifice and compromise require someone to…
I Love My Spouse, But I’m Thinking About Having an Affair
How can you love your spouse and be thinking about having an affair? Is that even possible? The whole thing is super confusing. Well, believe it or not, there may be a logical explanation. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says couples need both closeness and distance to sustain a level of sexual intimacy…
25 Fun Holiday Date Ideas for Couples
The holidays are the perfect time for couples to experience closeness and connection in the spirit of the season. Try out a few of these fun holiday date ideas with the one you love most! Watch your favorite Christmas movie with some gourmet hot chocolate. Pick up some donuts and coffee and visit neighborhoods to…
Why People Really Have Affairs (It’s Not Always Just About Sex)
Marital affairs are kind of like rust. On the surface, it’s apparent that a single, ugly event has happened. But underneath is a complex process of chemical reactions and driving forces that have built up over time. Affairs are complicated like that. And finding out why people really have affairs can be even more complicated.…
4 Communication Exercises For Married Couples
Healthy communication lies at the root of any successful relationship. In marriage, this is even more of a necessity. Like our muscles, our communication skills also need to be worked out. There are practices we can make part of our regular routines that will strengthen communication in our marriage. Here are four communication exercises for…
5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage When You’re Stuck at Home Together
With the ongoing pandemic many couples are stuck at home together more than ever, which for some has been great. For others, it’s been a real struggle to not get on each other’s last nerve. After witnessing some of these struggles, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, wrote 5 Ways to Be…
How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
Every couple experiences little instances of communication breakdown. It just happens. Of course, the little things can gradually chip away at your connectedness in your marriage. Small drops of water from a leaky pipe over time lead to big problems. Minor bad communication habits are like that. Not that big of a thing in the…
How To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair
“But we’re only just friends!” or “I have to talk to Karen in Accounting for work!” These can be the typical responses from people having emotional or “virtual” affairs. According to several sources like psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell at The University of Tennessee Knoxville, data indicates that emotional or “virtual” affairs…
3 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
What if I told you you could say some magic words that would take your sex life to the next level in your marriage? Let’s try it. Ready? Say them aloud slowly and clearly: Koh-mew-nick-hey-shon. Did it work? Probably not. Magic words don’t really work that way. But there’s good news! There is something that…
Are My Spouse’s Friends Hurting My Marriage?
So, what do you do if you think your spouse’s friends are hurting your marriage? It’s essential to proceed with great care. Your goal is to voice your concern in a way that’s respectful to your spouse. How you approach the subject can move you toward resolution or, in the opposite direction, toward conflict. Proceeding with…
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