Conflict is necessary and unavoidable in relationships. In fact, many couples argue over not only topics and scenarios but the different ways in which they handle conflict. There are four major ways in which we respond to threats. These responses often present themselves during conflict: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. The fight response is the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/pexels-alexander-mass-748453803-20878470.jpg6011200Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-06-27 14:46:172024-06-27 14:47:08How to Turn Conflict into Connection
Caregiving is often viewed as a noble and selfless act, a testament to an immense strength of love and commitment. However, the emotional and physical toll it takes on romantic relationships is a reality many couples face in silence. Whether you’re a parent caring for young children, an adult child caring for elderly parents, or…
How often do you say “thank you” to your spouse or significant other? If this question makes you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or maybe even ask the counter-question, “For what!?,” you’re not alone. A recent 50-year study completed by The Gottman Institute found that the single most important phrase couples can use in their relationship is…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-1-Recovered.png5851668Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-06-12 14:01:102024-06-12 14:01:14The Number One Phrase Used in Successful Relationships
Have you ever felt like everything you say or do rubs your partner the wrong way? Here’s an example: You say, “We should go out to eat tonight and find some really good pasta.” Your significant other responds, “Right, because the pasta I cook for you at home is never good enough.” You’re left wondering…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-1-Recovered-2.png5851668Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-05-28 13:00:272024-05-28 13:00:32Is Your Relationship Stuck in the Negative Override Sentiment?
I just turned 33 years old. I married my husband when I was 23, which means we’re approaching our 10-year anniversary. My husband was 30 when we married, which means he’s approaching the big 4-0 in just a few short months. (If you know him, please remind him of this. He loves it.) I won’t…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-1-Recovered-1.png5851668Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-05-09 14:07:212024-05-09 14:10:35Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 1)
In last week’s column, I suggested a different interpretation of the decline of marriage as an essential institution in our country. Recent studies from Pew Research and the National Council for Family Relations indicate that the majority of Americans still desire and revere marriage but are often leery of the long-term commitment it requires and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-1-Recovered.png5851668Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-05-09 13:41:512024-05-09 14:09:47Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 2)
My husband and I just celebrated ten years of marriage. We were overwhelmed by support from friends and family. Messages poured in through social media and texts: “What an accomplishment!”, “A huge success!”, “A whole decade of life together under your belt!” While it felt good to look back over the years and note the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Untitled-1-Recovered-2.png5851668Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-04-02 15:11:012024-04-02 15:11:05Marital Health vs Marital Length
Recent studies have shown that being married can make people happier compared to those who aren’t married. Economist Sam Peltzman’s latest research suggests that marriage is the key factor in determining happiness, with married individuals being 30% more likely to report being happy than unmarried individuals. Further studies indicate that married people tend to have…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-emma-bauso-2833389.jpg5691200Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-04-01 13:02:422024-04-01 13:02:47Is Marriage Beneficial To Happiness?
It’s an election year, which means more news, more debates, and more campaign ads are on the horizon. While many have figured out how to avoid heated politically-fueled conversations around extended family members, it’s more challenging to keep the peace when you and your spouse have different political views. As the political landscapes become increasingly…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Untitled-1-Recovered-1.png5851668Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-03-22 15:19:432024-03-22 15:19:47How to Navigate Different Political Views in Marriage
Most people have heard about how important it is to be kind, understanding, and communicate well in relationships, right? Recent research shows one ingredient to relationship satisfaction that often goes unchecked: a generous amount of self-compassion. Self-compassion is giving the same break and understanding to yourself as you would to a friend going through a…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/pexels-pavel-danilyuk-6417918-scaled.jpg13652048Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-02-15 13:33:382024-02-15 13:37:05Self-Compassion: A Key to Relationship Happiness
With another election cycle rolling around, it’s time to brace ourselves for all of the political chatter. While it’s one thing to dodge those awkward family debates, it’s a whole other ball game when you and your partner are on opposite sides of the political fence. But fear not! With a little work, you can…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/pexels-timur-weber-8560716-scaled-e1708015690944.jpg1000667Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-02-15 11:58:332024-02-15 13:36:53Navigating Political Differences in Marriage Like a Pro
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and it’s time to start planning something special for your significant other. If you’re tired of the same old dinner and a movie routine, we’ve got you covered with 5 creative Valentine’s Day ideas. 1. Plan a Themed Dinner at Home If you’re looking for a romantic and…
Since January 1, 2023, more than 5,000 people have visited the First Things First (FTF) website in search of help against “resentment in marriage.” Terms such as how to overcome resentment, moving past resentment, letting go of resentment, and what to do when my spouse resents me have flooded the search bar. Resentment in marriage…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Envery-In-Relationships.gif420800Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2023-08-30 12:55:172023-08-30 12:55:20An Uncommon Truth About Resentment in Marriage
Our world is filled with technological devices and relationships. With technology always (or nearly always) with us, we can be more productive and fill in the gaps in our day. Isn’t that a good thing? Maybe. Let’s look at how technology impacts your relationship with your significant other. Remember: Technology is a tool. It can…
Our world is filled with technological devices and relationships. With technology always (or nearly always) with us, we can be more productive and fill in the gaps in our day. Isn’t that a good thing? Maybe. Let’s look at how technology impacts your relationship with your significant other. Remember: Technology is a tool. It can…
Feeling disconnected from your spouse can be as confusing as it is concerning. You might be wondering if you’re imagining things. (We all do this at times.) Or is this a normal feeling during a hectic season of life? (We all go through those times.) Is it a sign of something deeper and perhaps more…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/20044.jpg13652048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-10-17 12:02:002022-10-17 12:02:155 Things To Do When You Feel Disconnected From Your Spouse
In marriage, it’s common for one spouse to initiate sex more often. But if you’re the one every time, it can easily lead to resentment, frustration, and feeling undesirable or unwanted. If you’re there, it is not your fault. And it may not be your spouse’s fault either. Let’s take a look at steps you…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Untitled-3-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-08-09 12:54:492022-08-09 15:00:42Tired of Always Initiating Sex? Here’s What To Do!
Even though it may be hard or even painful, a healthier relationship is worth the effort.
Resentment in marriage is a dangerous emotion. It’s a silent killer of relationships. Resentment is bitterness at having been mistreated. It’s anger too, but it’s so much more. When you feel resentment, you’re reliving whatever caused the anger. This builds an emotional wall between you and your spouse. Resentment is complex, and it doesn’t look…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/AdobeStock_204310730-e1610037612614.jpeg241600Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-07-06 16:00:002022-07-08 09:56:39How to Overcome Built-Up Resentment in Marriage
Marriage can be a wonderful experience when both spouses are connected and headed in the same direction. Life can be beautiful when you walk side by side, working together. But marriage isn’t always this way. My wife and I recently celebrated 18 years of marriage, and we haven’t always been on the same page. But we’ve learned having a happy, healthy marriage takes intentionality and commitment. And it requires a healthy level of intimacy. It’s important to keep intimacy strong in your marriage.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/adam-winger-t7TfzV1oNuw-unsplash-scaled.jpg20481365Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-06-27 12:00:002022-07-05 10:32:52How to Keep Intimacy Strong in Your Marriage
You can come together and move forward as a family.
Parenting has evolved since I was a kid. But not necessarily because of cultural shifts as much as access to information. Research, blogs, and social media have made it easy to access information about how our parenting impacts kids. This information can help us to better understand the long-term impact of our parenting. It also…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/multiethnic-family-spending-time-together-on-couch-with-4545968-scaled-e1596213559366.jpg220500Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-06-22 04:14:002022-06-22 13:14:55What To Do When Your Spouse Is A Bad Parent
How to Turn Conflict into Connection
Conflict is necessary and unavoidable in relationships. In fact, many couples argue over not only topics and scenarios but the different ways in which they handle conflict. There are four major ways in which we respond to threats. These responses often present themselves during conflict: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. The fight response is the…
How Caregiving Can Damage Romantic Relationships
Caregiving is often viewed as a noble and selfless act, a testament to an immense strength of love and commitment. However, the emotional and physical toll it takes on romantic relationships is a reality many couples face in silence. Whether you’re a parent caring for young children, an adult child caring for elderly parents, or…
The Number One Phrase Used in Successful Relationships
How often do you say “thank you” to your spouse or significant other? If this question makes you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or maybe even ask the counter-question, “For what!?,” you’re not alone. A recent 50-year study completed by The Gottman Institute found that the single most important phrase couples can use in their relationship is…
Is Your Relationship Stuck in the Negative Override Sentiment?
Have you ever felt like everything you say or do rubs your partner the wrong way? Here’s an example: You say, “We should go out to eat tonight and find some really good pasta.” Your significant other responds, “Right, because the pasta I cook for you at home is never good enough.” You’re left wondering…
Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 1)
I just turned 33 years old. I married my husband when I was 23, which means we’re approaching our 10-year anniversary. My husband was 30 when we married, which means he’s approaching the big 4-0 in just a few short months. (If you know him, please remind him of this. He loves it.) I won’t…
Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 2)
In last week’s column, I suggested a different interpretation of the decline of marriage as an essential institution in our country. Recent studies from Pew Research and the National Council for Family Relations indicate that the majority of Americans still desire and revere marriage but are often leery of the long-term commitment it requires and…
Marital Health vs Marital Length
My husband and I just celebrated ten years of marriage. We were overwhelmed by support from friends and family. Messages poured in through social media and texts: “What an accomplishment!”, “A huge success!”, “A whole decade of life together under your belt!” While it felt good to look back over the years and note the…
Is Marriage Beneficial To Happiness?
Recent studies have shown that being married can make people happier compared to those who aren’t married. Economist Sam Peltzman’s latest research suggests that marriage is the key factor in determining happiness, with married individuals being 30% more likely to report being happy than unmarried individuals. Further studies indicate that married people tend to have…
How to Navigate Different Political Views in Marriage
It’s an election year, which means more news, more debates, and more campaign ads are on the horizon. While many have figured out how to avoid heated politically-fueled conversations around extended family members, it’s more challenging to keep the peace when you and your spouse have different political views. As the political landscapes become increasingly…
Self-Compassion: A Key to Relationship Happiness
Most people have heard about how important it is to be kind, understanding, and communicate well in relationships, right? Recent research shows one ingredient to relationship satisfaction that often goes unchecked: a generous amount of self-compassion. Self-compassion is giving the same break and understanding to yourself as you would to a friend going through a…
Navigating Political Differences in Marriage Like a Pro
With another election cycle rolling around, it’s time to brace ourselves for all of the political chatter. While it’s one thing to dodge those awkward family debates, it’s a whole other ball game when you and your partner are on opposite sides of the political fence. But fear not! With a little work, you can…
5 Creative Valentine’s Day Ideas to Spark Romance
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and it’s time to start planning something special for your significant other. If you’re tired of the same old dinner and a movie routine, we’ve got you covered with 5 creative Valentine’s Day ideas. 1. Plan a Themed Dinner at Home If you’re looking for a romantic and…
An Uncommon Truth About Resentment in Marriage
Since January 1, 2023, more than 5,000 people have visited the First Things First (FTF) website in search of help against “resentment in marriage.” Terms such as how to overcome resentment, moving past resentment, letting go of resentment, and what to do when my spouse resents me have flooded the search bar. Resentment in marriage…
Technoference In Relationships
Our world is filled with technological devices and relationships. With technology always (or nearly always) with us, we can be more productive and fill in the gaps in our day. Isn’t that a good thing? Maybe. Let’s look at how technology impacts your relationship with your significant other. Remember: Technology is a tool. It can…
Technoference In Relationships
Our world is filled with technological devices and relationships. With technology always (or nearly always) with us, we can be more productive and fill in the gaps in our day. Isn’t that a good thing? Maybe. Let’s look at how technology impacts your relationship with your significant other. Remember: Technology is a tool. It can…
5 Things To Do When You Feel Disconnected From Your Spouse
Feeling disconnected from your spouse can be as confusing as it is concerning. You might be wondering if you’re imagining things. (We all do this at times.) Or is this a normal feeling during a hectic season of life? (We all go through those times.) Is it a sign of something deeper and perhaps more…
Tired of Always Initiating Sex? Here’s What To Do!
In marriage, it’s common for one spouse to initiate sex more often. But if you’re the one every time, it can easily lead to resentment, frustration, and feeling undesirable or unwanted. If you’re there, it is not your fault. And it may not be your spouse’s fault either. Let’s take a look at steps you…
How to Overcome Built-Up Resentment in Marriage
Resentment in marriage is a dangerous emotion. It’s a silent killer of relationships. Resentment is bitterness at having been mistreated. It’s anger too, but it’s so much more. When you feel resentment, you’re reliving whatever caused the anger. This builds an emotional wall between you and your spouse. Resentment is complex, and it doesn’t look…
How to Keep Intimacy Strong in Your Marriage
Marriage can be a wonderful experience when both spouses are connected and headed in the same direction. Life can be beautiful when you walk side by side, working together. But marriage isn’t always this way. My wife and I recently celebrated 18 years of marriage, and we haven’t always been on the same page. But we’ve learned having a happy, healthy marriage takes intentionality and commitment. And it requires a healthy level of intimacy. It’s important to keep intimacy strong in your marriage.
What To Do When Your Spouse Is A Bad Parent
Parenting has evolved since I was a kid. But not necessarily because of cultural shifts as much as access to information. Research, blogs, and social media have made it easy to access information about how our parenting impacts kids. This information can help us to better understand the long-term impact of our parenting. It also…