Feeling disconnected from your spouse can be as confusing as it is concerning. You might be wondering if you’re imagining things. (We all do this at times.) Or is this a normal feeling during a hectic season of life? (We all go through those times.) Is it a sign of something deeper and perhaps more…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/20044-scaled-e1599138130119.jpg231450John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-10-17 12:02:002022-10-17 12:02:155 Things To Do When You Feel Disconnected From Your Spouse
In marriage, it’s common for one spouse to initiate sex more often. But if you’re the one every time, it can easily lead to resentment, frustration, and feeling undesirable or unwanted. If you’re there, it is not your fault. And it may not be your spouse’s fault either. Let’s take a look at steps you…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Untitled-3-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-08-09 12:54:492022-08-09 15:00:42Tired of Always Initiating Sex? Here’s What To Do!
Even though it may be hard or even painful, a healthier relationship is worth the effort.
Resentment in marriage is a dangerous emotion. It’s a silent killer of relationships. Resentment is bitterness at having been mistreated. It’s anger too, but it’s so much more. When you feel resentment, you’re reliving whatever caused the anger. This builds an emotional wall between you and your spouse. Resentment is complex, and it doesn’t look…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/AdobeStock_204310730-e1610037612614.jpeg241600Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-07-06 16:00:002022-07-08 09:56:39How to Overcome Built-Up Resentment in Marriage
Marriage can be a wonderful experience when both spouses are connected and headed in the same direction. Life can be beautiful when you walk side by side, working together. But marriage isn’t always this way. My wife and I recently celebrated 18 years of marriage, and we haven’t always been on the same page. But we’ve learned having a happy, healthy marriage takes intentionality and commitment. And it requires a healthy level of intimacy. It’s important to keep intimacy strong in your marriage.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/adam-winger-t7TfzV1oNuw-unsplash-scaled.jpg20481365Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-06-27 12:00:002022-07-05 10:32:52How to Keep Intimacy Strong in Your Marriage
You can come together and move forward as a family.
Parenting has evolved since I was a kid. But not necessarily because of cultural shifts as much as access to information. Research, blogs, and social media have made it easy to access information about how our parenting impacts kids. This information can help us to better understand the long-term impact of our parenting. It also…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/multiethnic-family-spending-time-together-on-couch-with-4545968-scaled-e1596213559366.jpg220500Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-06-22 04:14:002022-06-22 13:14:55What To Do When Your Spouse Is A Bad Parent
Concern and confusion about your relationship are completely understandable. On the one hand, people say things like: No marriage is perfect. Marriage requires work and self-sacrifice. Every marriage experiences ups and downs. On the other hand, you might be wondering: Are my spouse and I an explosive combination? Is my spouse toxic? What do I…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/michal-parzuchowski-zqnscdDCVws-unsplash-scaled-e1596206959797.jpg181500John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-06-03 09:00:002022-07-25 13:34:44What To Do When Your Spouse Is Toxic
Being close with the one you love has major benefits.
Cultivating emotional intimacy in marriage makes me think of a road trip. Having a destination is essential, but the journey is where adventure lies. My wife and I love a good road trip. I could tell you countless stories of getting lost, taking detours, traffic jams, and discovering beauty along the way. Marriage is a…
Be intentional and turn toward each other this summer.
School’s out, and my kids are excited about a fun-filled summer. Mom and Dad… not as much. Don’t get me wrong; I love summertime. But summer schedules can be hectic when you’re juggling different camps, vacations, and activities. Sure, the school year is crazy busy, but at least it’s consistent. Summer schedules are a little…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Untitled-4-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-05-24 11:19:202022-05-25 10:47:13How to Keep Your Marriage Strong Over Summer Break
Your spouse can develop empathy. Here's how to help.
You want your spouse to be fully present with you in your feelings, thoughts and situations in life. But what happens when they don’t show empathy? You probably feel alone, unimportant and misunderstood. You’ve opened up, but your spouse seems unable or uninterested in responding in an empathetic way. So, what do you do when…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/jonathan-borba-a8eIsCdNjk8-unsplash-1-scaled-e1597066334407.jpg169450John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-04-01 09:23:002022-04-05 09:32:45What To Do When Your Spouse Lacks Empathy
I’m sorry to hear that you’re unhappy in your marriage. I don’t need to tell you that an unhappy marriage can lead to stress, depression, anxiety, and insecurity. That hurts. But the fact that you’re here is a sign that you’re looking for help. That means you’re still hopeful. Hold on to that hope. Now…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/adult-alone-anxious-black-and-white-568027-scaled-e1597071997179.jpg233450John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-03-31 09:59:002022-04-05 09:44:10I’m Unhappy In My Marriage. What Can I Do?
How Porn Impacts the Brain warns about some of the dangers of porn addiction.There is no question that pornography impacts the brain. Research says it’s more addictive than cocaine and it's a habit harder to break than heroin.The U.S. Justice Department believes that 9 out of 10 children see online porn between the ages of 8 and 16.
You probably don’t need convincing that ongoing, open communication is vital to a healthy, growing relationship. If we’re honest, it’s a struggle to make it happen in our marriages. We all have our own reasons for why quality (and quantity) communication is hard for us, but I want to encourage you. I’ve yet to meet…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Untitled-4-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-03-03 09:57:482022-03-03 11:04:28Questions Couples Can Ask To Improve Communication
You might phrase it differently, but when you’ve lost romantic feelings for your spouse, you’re probably feeling something like: That spark’s gone. I feel like I’m just going through the motions. I’m not attracted to my spouse like I used to be. I love my spouse, but I’m not in love with them anymore. Over…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-21-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-02-28 13:51:072022-07-26 10:11:45What To Do When You’ve Lost Romantic Feelings For Your Spouse
Intimacy can be a scary word for some people, but it is an essential part of keeping romance strong in your marriage. We often think of intimacy as sex, but it’s so much more than that. It’s how we connect at the deepest levels. Connecting in one of the five types of intimacy (emotional, intellectual,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-6-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-02-16 13:22:542022-06-24 15:12:28How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 2
Knowing each other more deeply is within your reach!
Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but the romance doesn’t have to end. For some, the weeks leading up to and away from the “love holiday” are filled with romantic gestures. Others may have lost that loving feeling. Maybe the romance has faded in your marriage. Life gets hectic, and we lose focus. Work demands…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-4-01-1.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-02-15 14:53:342022-06-24 15:10:14How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 1
Valentine’s Day is special. It’s a day of love – a day to shower our significant other with flowers, gifts, and romance. The expectations can be overwhelming. But the day doesn’t have to be. It’s a day for the two of you, so make it memorable in your own way. It may mean a night…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-3-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-02-08 15:03:142022-02-09 14:29:265 Ways to Make this Valentine’s Special
Working toward growth and connection (when possible) can do wonders for your relationship.
Navigating changes in your spouse can be difficult and serious. How serious? If changes in your spouse cause you emotional or physical harm, consider reevaluating your relationship to determine if your situation is safe. That serious. Short of that, even well-intentioned, positive changes in your spouse can still be distressing, frustrating, and confusing. Change! =…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-1-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-02-08 11:15:102022-02-09 10:21:39What To Do When Your Spouse Has Changed
When you handle disappointment well, you can grow closer.
Disappointment is a revelation. Disappointment in marriage – doubly so. Sadly, we usually don’t sit with it long enough to learn all we should. When you disappoint your spouse, you are faced with several choices. We’ll look at some practical actions you can take, but first, you need to address your relationship with disappointment. Remember,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Untitled-6-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-01-21 12:05:472022-01-28 10:55:01What To Do When You Disappoint Your Spouse
Happy New Year! Did you make all your resolutions? What are your goals for this year? Whether you made some or not, I’d like to challenge you to add one resolution: Make this year one of growth for your marriage. Marriage isn’t easy, but a great marriage is achievable with intentionality and commitment. You can…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Untitled-28-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-01-01 12:30:002022-06-24 15:11:23Six Good Habits to Start for Your Marriage in the New Year
A healthy response to disappointment can be a game-changer for your marriage.
Disappointment hurts, especially from the one you love the most. And when your spouse disappoints you, you probably experience several emotions. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. Sadness. Bewilderment. (What were they thinking? Right?) Disappointment in your spouse can spark uncertainty and shake your trust. It might even make you wonder if you can rely on them at…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Untitled-22-01.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-12-20 12:02:362021-12-21 09:49:06What to Do When Your Spouse Disappoints You
5 Things To Do When You Feel Disconnected From Your Spouse
Feeling disconnected from your spouse can be as confusing as it is concerning. You might be wondering if you’re imagining things. (We all do this at times.) Or is this a normal feeling during a hectic season of life? (We all go through those times.) Is it a sign of something deeper and perhaps more…
Tired of Always Initiating Sex? Here’s What To Do!
In marriage, it’s common for one spouse to initiate sex more often. But if you’re the one every time, it can easily lead to resentment, frustration, and feeling undesirable or unwanted. If you’re there, it is not your fault. And it may not be your spouse’s fault either. Let’s take a look at steps you…
How to Overcome Built-Up Resentment in Marriage
Resentment in marriage is a dangerous emotion. It’s a silent killer of relationships. Resentment is bitterness at having been mistreated. It’s anger too, but it’s so much more. When you feel resentment, you’re reliving whatever caused the anger. This builds an emotional wall between you and your spouse. Resentment is complex, and it doesn’t look…
How to Keep Intimacy Strong in Your Marriage
Marriage can be a wonderful experience when both spouses are connected and headed in the same direction. Life can be beautiful when you walk side by side, working together. But marriage isn’t always this way. My wife and I recently celebrated 18 years of marriage, and we haven’t always been on the same page. But we’ve learned having a happy, healthy marriage takes intentionality and commitment. And it requires a healthy level of intimacy. It’s important to keep intimacy strong in your marriage.
What To Do When Your Spouse Is A Bad Parent
Parenting has evolved since I was a kid. But not necessarily because of cultural shifts as much as access to information. Research, blogs, and social media have made it easy to access information about how our parenting impacts kids. This information can help us to better understand the long-term impact of our parenting. It also…
What To Do When Your Spouse Is Toxic
Concern and confusion about your relationship are completely understandable. On the one hand, people say things like: No marriage is perfect. Marriage requires work and self-sacrifice. Every marriage experiences ups and downs. On the other hand, you might be wondering: Are my spouse and I an explosive combination? Is my spouse toxic? What do I…
What Is Emotional Intimacy?
Cultivating emotional intimacy in marriage makes me think of a road trip. Having a destination is essential, but the journey is where adventure lies. My wife and I love a good road trip. I could tell you countless stories of getting lost, taking detours, traffic jams, and discovering beauty along the way. Marriage is a…
How to Keep Your Marriage Strong Over Summer Break
School’s out, and my kids are excited about a fun-filled summer. Mom and Dad… not as much. Don’t get me wrong; I love summertime. But summer schedules can be hectic when you’re juggling different camps, vacations, and activities. Sure, the school year is crazy busy, but at least it’s consistent. Summer schedules are a little…
What To Do When Your Spouse Lacks Empathy
You want your spouse to be fully present with you in your feelings, thoughts and situations in life. But what happens when they don’t show empathy? You probably feel alone, unimportant and misunderstood. You’ve opened up, but your spouse seems unable or uninterested in responding in an empathetic way. So, what do you do when…
I’m Unhappy In My Marriage. What Can I Do?
I’m sorry to hear that you’re unhappy in your marriage. I don’t need to tell you that an unhappy marriage can lead to stress, depression, anxiety, and insecurity. That hurts. But the fact that you’re here is a sign that you’re looking for help. That means you’re still hopeful. Hold on to that hope. Now…
9 Warning Signs of Porn Addiction
How Porn Impacts the Brain warns about some of the dangers of porn addiction.There is no question that pornography impacts the brain. Research says it’s more addictive than cocaine and it's a habit harder to break than heroin.The U.S. Justice Department believes that 9 out of 10 children see online porn between the ages of 8 and 16.
Questions Couples Can Ask To Improve Communication
You probably don’t need convincing that ongoing, open communication is vital to a healthy, growing relationship. If we’re honest, it’s a struggle to make it happen in our marriages. We all have our own reasons for why quality (and quantity) communication is hard for us, but I want to encourage you. I’ve yet to meet…
What To Do When You’ve Lost Romantic Feelings For Your Spouse
You might phrase it differently, but when you’ve lost romantic feelings for your spouse, you’re probably feeling something like: That spark’s gone. I feel like I’m just going through the motions. I’m not attracted to my spouse like I used to be. I love my spouse, but I’m not in love with them anymore. Over…
How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 2
Intimacy can be a scary word for some people, but it is an essential part of keeping romance strong in your marriage. We often think of intimacy as sex, but it’s so much more than that. It’s how we connect at the deepest levels. Connecting in one of the five types of intimacy (emotional, intellectual,…
How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 1
Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but the romance doesn’t have to end. For some, the weeks leading up to and away from the “love holiday” are filled with romantic gestures. Others may have lost that loving feeling. Maybe the romance has faded in your marriage. Life gets hectic, and we lose focus. Work demands…
5 Ways to Make this Valentine’s Special
Valentine’s Day is special. It’s a day of love – a day to shower our significant other with flowers, gifts, and romance. The expectations can be overwhelming. But the day doesn’t have to be. It’s a day for the two of you, so make it memorable in your own way. It may mean a night…
What To Do When Your Spouse Has Changed
Navigating changes in your spouse can be difficult and serious. How serious? If changes in your spouse cause you emotional or physical harm, consider reevaluating your relationship to determine if your situation is safe. That serious. Short of that, even well-intentioned, positive changes in your spouse can still be distressing, frustrating, and confusing. Change! =…
What To Do When You Disappoint Your Spouse
Disappointment is a revelation. Disappointment in marriage – doubly so. Sadly, we usually don’t sit with it long enough to learn all we should. When you disappoint your spouse, you are faced with several choices. We’ll look at some practical actions you can take, but first, you need to address your relationship with disappointment. Remember,…
Six Good Habits to Start for Your Marriage in the New Year
Happy New Year! Did you make all your resolutions? What are your goals for this year? Whether you made some or not, I’d like to challenge you to add one resolution: Make this year one of growth for your marriage. Marriage isn’t easy, but a great marriage is achievable with intentionality and commitment. You can…
What to Do When Your Spouse Disappoints You
Disappointment hurts, especially from the one you love the most. And when your spouse disappoints you, you probably experience several emotions. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. Sadness. Bewilderment. (What were they thinking? Right?) Disappointment in your spouse can spark uncertainty and shake your trust. It might even make you wonder if you can rely on them at…
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