Jennie met Kevin through a friend at work, and she thought she had met her knight in shining armor. He was such a gentleman. At the time, she had no clue that the relationship was headed for disaster. Have you ever dated "the love of your life" only to discover you were really involved with a jerk or jerkette?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/relevante-design-E_1Uk4pcIK4-unsplash.jpg8331250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-12-05 00:00:002020-11-13 10:15:02How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette
Tabi Upton describes her life as footloose and fancy free when she was in her 20s.“I loved not being tied down to anyone or anything,” Upton says. “I lived in California for a while, worked for the Peace Corps in West Africa and went to graduate school in Colorado.”Upton had a plan to spend her 20s doing whatever she wanted. Then, she planned to marry in her 30s and settle down to have a family.
Are you thinking about getting engaged during the holidays? Christie and Jim celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with both of their families. Just before the meal, Jim began to tell Christie how thankful he was for her. A bit embarrassed, she asked him if he realized he was talking to her in front of their entire…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/zelle-duda-KmbuW5rf3WM-unsplash-1.jpg8341250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-11-14 00:00:002020-11-13 16:47:31Getting Engaged During the Holidays?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.png00First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2017-11-09 00:00:002020-06-25 10:48:00Benefits of Premarital Education
What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. That’s especially true when it comes to premarital experiences and future marital quality among young adults.The relationship sequence these days goes something like – sex, cohabitation and sometimes children before marriage. With 80 percent of young adults reporting that marriage is an important part of their plans, Drs.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/ameer-basheer-4xKm7qT_RMM-unsplash-scaled.jpg11522048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-11-09 00:00:002020-11-17 09:49:17What Happens in Vegas Stays With You
When Kyle and Kate Jackson were on the dating scene, they didn’t want to meet people in bars or by chance. Since both of them were shy, they knew that even if they met someone they wouldn’t have the guts to ask the person out.“I used to make fun of people who went online to find a date,” says Kate. “Once I got to the point that regular dating wasn’t successful, I decided to give it a try.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/brooke-cagle-WHWYBmtn3_0-unsplash-scaled-e1584217933356.jpg8952048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-11-09 00:00:002020-11-17 12:14:3810 Safety Tips for Online Dating
The bride-to-be shared that it was only two weeks, four days and six hours until the wedding. Her eyes sparkled as she talked, and everyone could tell she was head over heels in love.Many brides who have gone before her know that feeling so well. They also know that starry-eyed love is not all you need to carry you through the marriage journey.What kind of advice would newlyweds give to engaged couples?One bride shared that she and her husband didn’t talk about finances before walking down…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/nellia-kurme-VI_j9A0-YxY-unsplash-scaled-e1584216892697.jpg20481697Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-30 00:00:002021-02-17 10:24:50Tips from Newlyweds for a Happy, Healthy Marriage
When it comes to romancing your mate for special holidays like Valentine's Day or birthdays, some couples have a head start on the celebration. Why? They've discovered that making regular time for each other is linked to lots of relationship benefits.According to The Date Night Opportunity, a 2012 report released by the National Marriage Project, couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week:Are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/hannah-busing-xfKEy_6x4pw-unsplash-scaled-e1584217355267.jpg10952048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-30 00:00:002020-11-30 12:56:06How Date Night Can Boost Your Relationship
In his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, Dr. Gary Chapman tells about the frustration he and his wife felt in the early years of their marriage. At one point, he shares that they went for weeks without cleaning the toilet. He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t cleaning the toilet because that was something his mom always did.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/HowToDealWithUnspokenExpectations-emma-frances-logan-358437-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-15 06:30:002020-12-17 12:06:03How to Deal With Unspoken Expectations
Perhaps you believe that you or someone you love is addicted to pornography. While the temptation may be great to keep it quiet, there are lots of resources to help with recovery.In her book, An Affair of the Mind, Laurie Hall says that, from her experience and research, there is no easy answer. As the spouse of a porn addict, she learned she had to disengage from trying to fix him and, instead, take care of herself.“You have to build your own personal foundations under you – boundar…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/ResourcesForDealingWithPornAddiction.jpeg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-13 00:00:002021-02-17 10:15:05Resources for Dealing with Porn Addiction
Consider talking about some things with your in-laws.
Before you take that walk down the aisle, sit down with each set of in-laws and talk about boundaries within your relationship.For example, when a couple considered purchasing a house close to his mother, the mother-in-law said, "I am OK with you living close to me, but you will call before you come to visit and I will do the same." That was one smart mother-in-law!Things To ConsiderIf your in-laws have a key to your home, how will they use that? Are you OK with them dropping in whenev…
Each year, more than 2 million couples marry in the U.S. While most couples say they are madly in love, some really wonder if they have what it takes to make their marriage last over time.Whether you’re married now or planning to, you’ll want to know about a Life Innovations survey of 21,501 married couples from every state. It identified not only the top 10 strengths of happy marriages, but also the top 10 problems in marriage.The top 10 strengths are as follows:Partners are satisfied with comm…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Building-a-Strong-Marriage-e1597428405522.jpg248450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-04 00:00:002021-02-17 10:26:32Building a Strong Marriage
How Porn Impacts the Brain warns about some of the dangers of porn addiction.There is no question that pornography impacts the brain. Research says it’s more addictive than cocaine and it's a habit harder to break than heroin.The U.S. Justice Department believes that 9 out of 10 children see online porn between the ages of 8 and 16.
Relationships are complicated, but "catfishing" takes things to a whole new level. A "catfish" uses Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.Have you heard about the media firestorm concerning Manti Te’o and his serious "girlfriend's" tragic death? The entire country felt sorry for Te'o.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.png00Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-09-11 00:00:002020-07-15 14:15:45What You Should Know About Fishing for Relationships
Women are more than just sexual objects. Even after the height of the women's movement, they fight to seen as bright, capable of great accomplishments and worthy of respect. For years, women have taught other females about the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one.Now, there's Fifty Shades of Grey. Married women, college women and even young teen girls are so infatuated with it that they have actually bought more than 30 million copies.It is the story o…
Going on a date doesn’t have to be expensive or stressful. Here are a few of our ideas:Go for a hike in the mountains.Watch a funny movie together.Help out in a service organization together.Grab something to eat and take it to the park for a picnic.Go for a walk or jog.Cook a meal together.Go to a park, swing and play.People watch in the mall.Go for a drive and explore new places.Work out together.Learn something new together.Get dressed up and have a candlelight dinner at home.Go to a hi…
I was in my late 20s and Jay was 30 when we decided to marry. Both of us are children of divorce. I also had a lot of debt from putting myself through college, and I loved Jay and totally thought he was “the one.” But, I would be lying if I told you I didn’t have some anxiety about what might happen to us in the future.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Whats-My-Risk-for-Divorce.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-09-08 00:00:002020-03-12 12:20:23What’s My Risk for Divorce?
A January 2017 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair poll asked Americans about their views about marriage, and what they found may surprise you.In 1960, 78 percent of American households were married. Compare that to 48 percent of today’s households. Why such a dramatic drop?These days, many factors contribute to a decreasing marriage rate.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/WhatAmericansThinkAboutMarriage-caroline-veronez-DKvEEokVhWg-unsplash-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-09-07 00:00:002020-05-15 13:11:40What Americans Think About Marriage
In 2009, Brookings Institute scholars Ron Haskins and Isabel Sawhill proposed a successful path into adulthood. Called the “success sequence,” this path is most likely to lead toward economic success and away from poverty. It includes finishing at minimum a high school education, getting a job, followed by marriage and then having children. Since proposing this path, no real test has been done to see if that approach applies to today’s young adults.Researchers Brad Wilcox …
Knot Yet, a report released in April 2013 by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies, The Relate Institute and The National Marriage Project at The University of Virginia, explores the positive and negative consequences for 20-something women, men, their children and the entire nation concerning two troublesome trends:The age at which men and women marry, now at historic heights – 27 for women and 29 for men; andThe age at which women have children.Delayed marriage …
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Cost-of-Delayed-Marriage.png9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-08-28 00:00:002020-03-11 12:08:28The Cost of Delayed Marriage
How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette
Jennie met Kevin through a friend at work, and she thought she had met her knight in shining armor. He was such a gentleman. At the time, she had no clue that the relationship was headed for disaster. Have you ever dated "the love of your life" only to discover you were really involved with a jerk or jerkette?
The Single Journey
Tabi Upton describes her life as footloose and fancy free when she was in her 20s.“I loved not being tied down to anyone or anything,” Upton says. “I lived in California for a while, worked for the Peace Corps in West Africa and went to graduate school in Colorado.”Upton had a plan to spend her 20s doing whatever she wanted. Then, she planned to marry in her 30s and settle down to have a family.
Getting Engaged During the Holidays?
Are you thinking about getting engaged during the holidays? Christie and Jim celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with both of their families. Just before the meal, Jim began to tell Christie how thankful he was for her. A bit embarrassed, she asked him if he realized he was talking to her in front of their entire…
Benefits of Premarital Education
What Happens in Vegas Stays With You
What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. That’s especially true when it comes to premarital experiences and future marital quality among young adults.The relationship sequence these days goes something like – sex, cohabitation and sometimes children before marriage. With 80 percent of young adults reporting that marriage is an important part of their plans, Drs.
10 Safety Tips for Online Dating
When Kyle and Kate Jackson were on the dating scene, they didn’t want to meet people in bars or by chance. Since both of them were shy, they knew that even if they met someone they wouldn’t have the guts to ask the person out.“I used to make fun of people who went online to find a date,” says Kate. “Once I got to the point that regular dating wasn’t successful, I decided to give it a try.
Tips from Newlyweds for a Happy, Healthy Marriage
The bride-to-be shared that it was only two weeks, four days and six hours until the wedding. Her eyes sparkled as she talked, and everyone could tell she was head over heels in love.Many brides who have gone before her know that feeling so well. They also know that starry-eyed love is not all you need to carry you through the marriage journey.What kind of advice would newlyweds give to engaged couples?One bride shared that she and her husband didn’t talk about finances before walking down…
How Date Night Can Boost Your Relationship
When it comes to romancing your mate for special holidays like Valentine's Day or birthdays, some couples have a head start on the celebration. Why? They've discovered that making regular time for each other is linked to lots of relationship benefits.According to The Date Night Opportunity, a 2012 report released by the National Marriage Project, couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week:Are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships…
How to Deal With Unspoken Expectations
In his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, Dr. Gary Chapman tells about the frustration he and his wife felt in the early years of their marriage. At one point, he shares that they went for weeks without cleaning the toilet. He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t cleaning the toilet because that was something his mom always did.
Resources for Dealing with Porn Addiction
Perhaps you believe that you or someone you love is addicted to pornography. While the temptation may be great to keep it quiet, there are lots of resources to help with recovery.In her book, An Affair of the Mind, Laurie Hall says that, from her experience and research, there is no easy answer. As the spouse of a porn addict, she learned she had to disengage from trying to fix him and, instead, take care of herself.“You have to build your own personal foundations under you – boundar…
Potential Boundary Issues
Before you take that walk down the aisle, sit down with each set of in-laws and talk about boundaries within your relationship.For example, when a couple considered purchasing a house close to his mother, the mother-in-law said, "I am OK with you living close to me, but you will call before you come to visit and I will do the same." That was one smart mother-in-law!Things To ConsiderIf your in-laws have a key to your home, how will they use that? Are you OK with them dropping in whenev…
Building a Strong Marriage
Each year, more than 2 million couples marry in the U.S. While most couples say they are madly in love, some really wonder if they have what it takes to make their marriage last over time.Whether you’re married now or planning to, you’ll want to know about a Life Innovations survey of 21,501 married couples from every state. It identified not only the top 10 strengths of happy marriages, but also the top 10 problems in marriage.The top 10 strengths are as follows:Partners are satisfied with comm…
9 Warning Signs of Porn Addiction
How Porn Impacts the Brain warns about some of the dangers of porn addiction.There is no question that pornography impacts the brain. Research says it’s more addictive than cocaine and it's a habit harder to break than heroin.The U.S. Justice Department believes that 9 out of 10 children see online porn between the ages of 8 and 16.
What You Should Know About Fishing for Relationships
Relationships are complicated, but "catfishing" takes things to a whole new level. A "catfish" uses Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.Have you heard about the media firestorm concerning Manti Te’o and his serious "girlfriend's" tragic death? The entire country felt sorry for Te'o.
50 Shades of What?
Women are more than just sexual objects. Even after the height of the women's movement, they fight to seen as bright, capable of great accomplishments and worthy of respect. For years, women have taught other females about the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one.Now, there's Fifty Shades of Grey. Married women, college women and even young teen girls are so infatuated with it that they have actually bought more than 30 million copies.It is the story o…
Creative Date Ideas
Going on a date doesn’t have to be expensive or stressful. Here are a few of our ideas:Go for a hike in the mountains.Watch a funny movie together.Help out in a service organization together.Grab something to eat and take it to the park for a picnic.Go for a walk or jog.Cook a meal together.Go to a park, swing and play.People watch in the mall.Go for a drive and explore new places.Work out together.Learn something new together.Get dressed up and have a candlelight dinner at home.Go to a hi…
What’s My Risk for Divorce?
I was in my late 20s and Jay was 30 when we decided to marry. Both of us are children of divorce. I also had a lot of debt from putting myself through college, and I loved Jay and totally thought he was “the one.” But, I would be lying if I told you I didn’t have some anxiety about what might happen to us in the future.
What Americans Think About Marriage
A January 2017 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair poll asked Americans about their views about marriage, and what they found may surprise you.In 1960, 78 percent of American households were married. Compare that to 48 percent of today’s households. Why such a dramatic drop?These days, many factors contribute to a decreasing marriage rate.
The Millennial Success Sequence
In 2009, Brookings Institute scholars Ron Haskins and Isabel Sawhill proposed a successful path into adulthood. Called the “success sequence,” this path is most likely to lead toward economic success and away from poverty. It includes finishing at minimum a high school education, getting a job, followed by marriage and then having children. Since proposing this path, no real test has been done to see if that approach applies to today’s young adults.Researchers Brad Wilcox …
The Cost of Delayed Marriage
Knot Yet, a report released in April 2013 by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies, The Relate Institute and The National Marriage Project at The University of Virginia, explores the positive and negative consequences for 20-something women, men, their children and the entire nation concerning two troublesome trends:The age at which men and women marry, now at historic heights – 27 for women and 29 for men; andThe age at which women have children.Delayed marriage …