Who handles the money in your home? What kind of debt load do you carry? How often do you argue about spending money?The 2009 State of Our Unions: Marriage in America research conducted by the National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values, focused on money and marriage, including the influence that debt, assets, spending patterns and materialism have on marriage.The findings indicate a strong correlation between consumer debt and marital satisfaction.The study found that money …
Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-educated analyst who wants to enable men and women to have healthy, long-lasting marriages."I travel a lot," says Feldhahn. "People frequently ask me what I do, and my usual response is: 'I help women understand men.' The men usually laugh and say, 'You know, we really aren't that complicated.'"Feldhahn's research found that in most cases, relationship problems happen when a husband and wife care deeply for each other and …
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/matthew-hamilton-smLoapMQ9Ec-unsplash.jpg18751250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-03-13 00:00:002020-11-12 15:11:33What Women Need to Know About Men
Avoiding behaviors that could create suspicion can help your marriage.
This past year, in the midst of the #metoo campaign, a number of married men were among those accused of sexual misconduct. News of the inappropriate behavior probably created some extremely awkward moments within these marriages and perhaps made others wonder if their spouse is likely to cheat.Dr. Wendy Wang, research director at the Institute for Family Studies, recently released a brief on the subject called Who Cheats More?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/allef-vinicius-Ct8MUMx5Ms0-unsplash-1-e1597273348798.jpg376450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-01-29 00:00:002022-05-09 14:44:40Who Is More Likely to Cheat?
If your goal is to have a healthy relationship, you'll want to keep an eye out for these unhealthy behaviors. Paying attention to them can save you from heartache down the road.The person you are dating wants to dominate your time and/or keep you from friends and family.He/she asks you to sacrifice your values for the sake of the relationship.Your significant other disrespects and discourages you instead of encouraging and honoring you. Your date wants to control you – where you g…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/giorgio-trovato-6rKkr2fh2-I-unsplash.jpg8331250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-12-12 00:00:002020-11-12 16:12:2510 Red Flags in a Dating Relationship
Not too long ago people tended to marry in their early 20s, but now the average marrying age is 29 for males and 27 for females. Why are people waiting so long to marry? And is it helping or hurting their chances of success in marriage?“It is interesting because today’s young singles (emerging adults) want to have a great marriage yet they keep putting it off,” says Dr.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/nathan-dumlao-5BB_atDT4oA-unsplash-1.jpg8331250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-12-07 00:00:002020-11-13 13:41:573 Myths About Waiting to Marry
Jennie met Kevin through a friend at work, and she thought she had met her knight in shining armor. He was such a gentleman. At the time, she had no clue that the relationship was headed for disaster. Have you ever dated "the love of your life" only to discover you were really involved with a jerk or jerkette?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/relevante-design-E_1Uk4pcIK4-unsplash.jpg8331250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-12-05 00:00:002020-11-13 10:15:02How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette
Tabi Upton describes her life as footloose and fancy free when she was in her 20s.“I loved not being tied down to anyone or anything,” Upton says. “I lived in California for a while, worked for the Peace Corps in West Africa and went to graduate school in Colorado.”Upton had a plan to spend her 20s doing whatever she wanted. Then, she planned to marry in her 30s and settle down to have a family.
Are you thinking about getting engaged during the holidays? Christie and Jim celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with both of their families. Just before the meal, Jim began to tell Christie how thankful he was for her. A bit embarrassed, she asked him if he realized he was talking to her in front of their entire…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/zelle-duda-KmbuW5rf3WM-unsplash-1.jpg8341250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-11-14 00:00:002020-11-13 16:47:31Getting Engaged During the Holidays?
When Kyle and Kate Jackson were on the dating scene, they didn’t want to meet people in bars or by chance. Since both of them were shy, they knew that even if they met someone they wouldn’t have the guts to ask the person out.“I used to make fun of people who went online to find a date,” says Kate. “Once I got to the point that regular dating wasn’t successful, I decided to give it a try.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/brooke-cagle-WHWYBmtn3_0-unsplash-scaled-e1584217933356.jpg8952048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-11-09 00:00:002020-11-17 12:14:3810 Safety Tips for Online Dating
When it comes to romancing your mate for special holidays like Valentine's Day or birthdays, some couples have a head start on the celebration. Why? They've discovered that making regular time for each other is linked to lots of relationship benefits.According to The Date Night Opportunity, a 2012 report released by the National Marriage Project, couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week:Are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/hannah-busing-xfKEy_6x4pw-unsplash-scaled-e1584217355267.jpg10952048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-30 00:00:002020-11-30 12:56:06How Date Night Can Boost Your Relationship
The bride-to-be shared that it was only two weeks, four days and six hours until the wedding. Her eyes sparkled as she talked, and everyone could tell she was head over heels in love.Many brides who have gone before her know that feeling so well. They also know that starry-eyed love is not all you need to carry you through the marriage journey.What kind of advice would newlyweds give to engaged couples?One bride shared that she and her husband didn’t talk about finances before walking down…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/nellia-kurme-VI_j9A0-YxY-unsplash-scaled-e1584216892697.jpg20481697Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-30 00:00:002022-04-22 12:57:39Tips from Newlyweds for a Happy, Healthy Marriage
In his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, Dr. Gary Chapman tells about the frustration he and his wife felt in the early years of their marriage. At one point, he shares that they went for weeks without cleaning the toilet. He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t cleaning the toilet because that was something his mom always did.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/HowToDealWithUnspokenExpectations-emma-frances-logan-358437-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-15 06:30:002022-05-10 11:50:16How to Deal With Unspoken Expectations
Perhaps you believe that you or someone you love is addicted to pornography. While the temptation may be great to keep it quiet, there are lots of resources to help with recovery.In her book, An Affair of the Mind, Laurie Hall says that, from her experience and research, there is no easy answer. As the spouse of a porn addict, she learned she had to disengage from trying to fix him and, instead, take care of herself.“You have to build your own personal foundations under you – boundar…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/ResourcesForDealingWithPornAddiction.jpeg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-13 00:00:002021-02-17 10:15:05Resources for Dealing with Porn Addiction
Consider talking about some things with your in-laws.
Before you take that walk down the aisle, sit down with each set of in-laws and talk about boundaries within your relationship.For example, when a couple considered purchasing a house close to his mother, the mother-in-law said, "I am OK with you living close to me, but you will call before you come to visit and I will do the same." That was one smart mother-in-law!Things To ConsiderIf your in-laws have a key to your home, how will they use that? Are you OK with them dropping in whenev…
Each year, more than 2 million couples marry in the U.S. While most couples say they are madly in love, some really wonder if they have what it takes to make their marriage last over time.Whether you’re married now or planning to, you’ll want to know about a Life Innovations survey of 21,501 married couples from every state. It identified not only the top 10 strengths of happy marriages, but also the top 10 problems in marriage.The top 10 strengths are as follows:Partners are satisfied with comm…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Building-a-Strong-Marriage-e1597428405522.jpg248450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-10-04 00:00:002022-02-17 15:06:04Building a Strong Marriage
This list of 20 can help you get your couple party started!
Going on a date doesn’t have to be expensive or stressful. Here are a few of our ideas:Go for a hike in the mountains.Watch a funny movie together.Help out in a service organization together.Grab something to eat and take it to the park for a picnic.Go for a walk or jog.Cook a meal together.Go to a park, swing and play.People watch in the mall.Go for a drive and explore new places.Work out together.Learn something new together.Get dressed up and have a candlelight dinner at home.Go to a hi…
I was in my late 20s and Jay was 30 when we decided to marry. Both of us are children of divorce. I also had a lot of debt from putting myself through college, and I loved Jay and totally thought he was “the one.” But, I would be lying if I told you I didn’t have some anxiety about what might happen to us in the future.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Whats-My-Risk-for-Divorce.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-09-08 00:00:002022-08-04 10:24:44What’s My Risk for Divorce?
A January 2017 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair poll asked Americans about their views about marriage, and what they found may surprise you.In 1960, 78 percent of American households were married. Compare that to 48 percent of today’s households. Why such a dramatic drop?These days, many factors contribute to a decreasing marriage rate.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/WhatAmericansThinkAboutMarriage-caroline-veronez-DKvEEokVhWg-unsplash-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-09-07 00:00:002022-08-05 10:38:30What Americans Think About Marriage
Knot Yet, a report released in April 2013 by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies, The Relate Institute and The National Marriage Project at The University of Virginia, explores the positive and negative consequences for 20-something women, men, their children and the entire nation concerning two troublesome trends:The age at which men and women marry, now at historic heights – 27 for women and 29 for men; andThe age at which women have children.Delayed marriage …
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Cost-of-Delayed-Marriage.png9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-08-28 00:00:002022-08-23 10:39:43The Cost of Delayed Marriage
No one wants to suffer the heartache of a broken relationship, whether it is a divorce or the dissolution of a cohabiting situation. While living together may have short-term advantages, it comes at a high long-term cost.MYTH: Living together is an easy way to "try out" the relationship before committing to marriage.Truth: While the idea of "test driving" a car before you buy it is a good idea, it doesn't apply to marriage. Couples who live together often have attitudes l…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Myths-About-Living-Together-1400-2.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-08-15 00:00:002020-08-14 13:43:30Myths About Living Together
Who Handles the Money?
Who handles the money in your home? What kind of debt load do you carry? How often do you argue about spending money?The 2009 State of Our Unions: Marriage in America research conducted by the National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values, focused on money and marriage, including the influence that debt, assets, spending patterns and materialism have on marriage.The findings indicate a strong correlation between consumer debt and marital satisfaction.The study found that money …
What Women Need to Know About Men
Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-educated analyst who wants to enable men and women to have healthy, long-lasting marriages."I travel a lot," says Feldhahn. "People frequently ask me what I do, and my usual response is: 'I help women understand men.' The men usually laugh and say, 'You know, we really aren't that complicated.'"Feldhahn's research found that in most cases, relationship problems happen when a husband and wife care deeply for each other and …
Who Is More Likely to Cheat?
This past year, in the midst of the #metoo campaign, a number of married men were among those accused of sexual misconduct. News of the inappropriate behavior probably created some extremely awkward moments within these marriages and perhaps made others wonder if their spouse is likely to cheat.Dr. Wendy Wang, research director at the Institute for Family Studies, recently released a brief on the subject called Who Cheats More?
10 Red Flags in a Dating Relationship
If your goal is to have a healthy relationship, you'll want to keep an eye out for these unhealthy behaviors. Paying attention to them can save you from heartache down the road.The person you are dating wants to dominate your time and/or keep you from friends and family.He/she asks you to sacrifice your values for the sake of the relationship.Your significant other disrespects and discourages you instead of encouraging and honoring you. Your date wants to control you – where you g…
3 Myths About Waiting to Marry
Not too long ago people tended to marry in their early 20s, but now the average marrying age is 29 for males and 27 for females. Why are people waiting so long to marry? And is it helping or hurting their chances of success in marriage?“It is interesting because today’s young singles (emerging adults) want to have a great marriage yet they keep putting it off,” says Dr.
How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette
Jennie met Kevin through a friend at work, and she thought she had met her knight in shining armor. He was such a gentleman. At the time, she had no clue that the relationship was headed for disaster. Have you ever dated "the love of your life" only to discover you were really involved with a jerk or jerkette?
The Single Journey
Tabi Upton describes her life as footloose and fancy free when she was in her 20s.“I loved not being tied down to anyone or anything,” Upton says. “I lived in California for a while, worked for the Peace Corps in West Africa and went to graduate school in Colorado.”Upton had a plan to spend her 20s doing whatever she wanted. Then, she planned to marry in her 30s and settle down to have a family.
Getting Engaged During the Holidays?
Are you thinking about getting engaged during the holidays? Christie and Jim celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with both of their families. Just before the meal, Jim began to tell Christie how thankful he was for her. A bit embarrassed, she asked him if he realized he was talking to her in front of their entire…
10 Safety Tips for Online Dating
When Kyle and Kate Jackson were on the dating scene, they didn’t want to meet people in bars or by chance. Since both of them were shy, they knew that even if they met someone they wouldn’t have the guts to ask the person out.“I used to make fun of people who went online to find a date,” says Kate. “Once I got to the point that regular dating wasn’t successful, I decided to give it a try.
How Date Night Can Boost Your Relationship
When it comes to romancing your mate for special holidays like Valentine's Day or birthdays, some couples have a head start on the celebration. Why? They've discovered that making regular time for each other is linked to lots of relationship benefits.According to The Date Night Opportunity, a 2012 report released by the National Marriage Project, couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week:Are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships…
Tips from Newlyweds for a Happy, Healthy Marriage
The bride-to-be shared that it was only two weeks, four days and six hours until the wedding. Her eyes sparkled as she talked, and everyone could tell she was head over heels in love.Many brides who have gone before her know that feeling so well. They also know that starry-eyed love is not all you need to carry you through the marriage journey.What kind of advice would newlyweds give to engaged couples?One bride shared that she and her husband didn’t talk about finances before walking down…
How to Deal With Unspoken Expectations
In his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, Dr. Gary Chapman tells about the frustration he and his wife felt in the early years of their marriage. At one point, he shares that they went for weeks without cleaning the toilet. He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t cleaning the toilet because that was something his mom always did.
Resources for Dealing with Porn Addiction
Perhaps you believe that you or someone you love is addicted to pornography. While the temptation may be great to keep it quiet, there are lots of resources to help with recovery.In her book, An Affair of the Mind, Laurie Hall says that, from her experience and research, there is no easy answer. As the spouse of a porn addict, she learned she had to disengage from trying to fix him and, instead, take care of herself.“You have to build your own personal foundations under you – boundar…
Potential Boundary Issues
Before you take that walk down the aisle, sit down with each set of in-laws and talk about boundaries within your relationship.For example, when a couple considered purchasing a house close to his mother, the mother-in-law said, "I am OK with you living close to me, but you will call before you come to visit and I will do the same." That was one smart mother-in-law!Things To ConsiderIf your in-laws have a key to your home, how will they use that? Are you OK with them dropping in whenev…
Building a Strong Marriage
Each year, more than 2 million couples marry in the U.S. While most couples say they are madly in love, some really wonder if they have what it takes to make their marriage last over time.Whether you’re married now or planning to, you’ll want to know about a Life Innovations survey of 21,501 married couples from every state. It identified not only the top 10 strengths of happy marriages, but also the top 10 problems in marriage.The top 10 strengths are as follows:Partners are satisfied with comm…
Creative Date Ideas
Going on a date doesn’t have to be expensive or stressful. Here are a few of our ideas:Go for a hike in the mountains.Watch a funny movie together.Help out in a service organization together.Grab something to eat and take it to the park for a picnic.Go for a walk or jog.Cook a meal together.Go to a park, swing and play.People watch in the mall.Go for a drive and explore new places.Work out together.Learn something new together.Get dressed up and have a candlelight dinner at home.Go to a hi…
What’s My Risk for Divorce?
I was in my late 20s and Jay was 30 when we decided to marry. Both of us are children of divorce. I also had a lot of debt from putting myself through college, and I loved Jay and totally thought he was “the one.” But, I would be lying if I told you I didn’t have some anxiety about what might happen to us in the future.
What Americans Think About Marriage
A January 2017 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair poll asked Americans about their views about marriage, and what they found may surprise you.In 1960, 78 percent of American households were married. Compare that to 48 percent of today’s households. Why such a dramatic drop?These days, many factors contribute to a decreasing marriage rate.
The Cost of Delayed Marriage
Knot Yet, a report released in April 2013 by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies, The Relate Institute and The National Marriage Project at The University of Virginia, explores the positive and negative consequences for 20-something women, men, their children and the entire nation concerning two troublesome trends:The age at which men and women marry, now at historic heights – 27 for women and 29 for men; andThe age at which women have children.Delayed marriage …
Myths About Living Together
No one wants to suffer the heartache of a broken relationship, whether it is a divorce or the dissolution of a cohabiting situation. While living together may have short-term advantages, it comes at a high long-term cost.MYTH: Living together is an easy way to "try out" the relationship before committing to marriage.Truth: While the idea of "test driving" a car before you buy it is a good idea, it doesn't apply to marriage. Couples who live together often have attitudes l…
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