During the Yamadas’ adventurous marriage, there haven’t been many dull moments. “I wouldn’t describe either of us as risk-takers, but we are definitely not afraid to try new things,” says Mrs. Yamada. “We enjoy ballroom dancing, mountain biking and scuba diving, but I couldn’t see either of us bungee jumping.” Several years ago, the Yamadas…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/action-active-activity-adult-386024.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002020-11-03 12:46:554 Keys for Taking Up a Hobby Together
When you dreamed about your wedding experience, did you ever think so many people would participate in the process? Your mother is hurt because you aren’t wearing her wedding dress. The maid-of-honor has forgotten it is your wedding – not hers. Your fiancé’s family thinks the wedding plans are too formal. How will you choose…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/hannah-busing-WG6iLHfMY9Y-unsplash.jpg8501280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-05 00:00:002022-04-22 13:00:41How to Plan a Great Wedding Experience
Engaged couples spend endless amounts of time planning for their special day. In the excitement of wedding showers, choosing the flowers and the cake, and finding the perfect dress, some wonder if they can make it work. They don’t necessarily question their love for each other, although some actually do. It’s more about wondering if…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/toimetaja-tolkeburoo-KQfxVDHGCUg-unsplash-1.jpg8541280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-02 00:00:002021-11-23 09:44:257 Ways to Reduce Your Risk for Divorce Before Marriage
A friend’s Facebook post that said expensive wedding rings lead to less marriage stability caught Randal Olson’s eye. “My girlfriend and I had recently talked about wedding rings,” says Olson. “She said she did not want a big wedding ring. After reading the study, I was thankful. I am one semester away from graduating with…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/analise-benevides-gWedi4SWsHQ-unsplash-2.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-02 00:00:002020-11-03 15:54:18Wedding Expenses and Marriage Stability
When you tie the knot, family relationships change. Your mom was probably your first teacher, encourager and biggest cheerleader. And chances are, she’s one of the first people you’ve gone to for advice since… well, as long as you can remember. But now things are different, and while your mom is still there for you,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/woman-sitting-beside-man-3407978.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-06-19 00:00:002021-08-04 10:01:15For the Guys: Tips for Putting Your Wife First (Without Hurting Mom’s Feelings)
What makes a marriage really work? Is there any way to guarantee that love can last forever? Here’s how you can get your marriage off to a great start. It has been said that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Many people are in love with the idea of marriage. However, many couples…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/foto-pettine-IfjHaIoAoqE-unsplash-e1584033598782.jpg4091280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-06-14 00:00:002022-04-28 09:28:40Getting Your Marriage Off to a Great Start
Find out what they are and how they can cause destruction.
According to Dr. John Gottman, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are communication killers that put couples at high risk for divorce when these patterns take up permanent residence in the relationship. 1. Criticism Criticism is defined as blaming, faultfinding, or using global and negative labels to attack your spouse’s character. For example, “How would you…
Whether you are a son or a daughter, mom or dad, relationships change quite a bit when after marriage. Here are tips for strengthening the relationships that bind you together as a in-laws and family. How to be a good mother/father-in-law Let your in-law make his/her own decisions without meddling from you. As the relationship…
Arielle Kuperberg, a sociologist at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro, claims that her findings on premarital cohabitation debunk 30 years of research. Kuperberg believes her study shows that couples who cohabit before marrying are no more likely to divorce than anyone else. Since the 1960s, there has been a 900 percent global increase in cohabitation.…
Does marriage, like a good bottle of wine, really get better over time? That’s the question Dr. Paul Amato and his co-author, Spencer James, set out to answer. Amato serves as the Arnold and Bette Hoffman Emeritus Professor of Family Sociology and Demography at Pennsylvania State University. There’s lots of evidence that many people are…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/john-moeses-bauan-8YVaEljM-9I-unsplash.jpg9291200Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-05-07 06:30:002021-05-16 19:38:41Does Marriage Get Better Over Time?
Are there any irreconcilable differences? The University of Washington has more than 35 years of marital research by Dr. John Gottman that determines with greater than a 90 percent accuracy rate what’s going to happen to a relationship over a three-year period. In a national telephone survey, there were two issues that couples were most…
Don't let the idea of being alone make you ignore red flags.
Dating. Is. Hard. There’s no way around it. On the bright side, you meet a variety of people. You learn more about yourself and have some good (and often laughable), awkward stories. So, when you find yourself thinking about forever with that very special someone, it may be tempting to trudge forward with emotions and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/andre-hunter-236597-unsplash.jpg11212048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2018-03-29 13:19:572022-05-10 13:45:24Do I Really Want To Marry This Person?
After you marry, who should you approach first as your confidant, to ask for an opinion or to work through an issue? Your spouse or your parents? Many couples wrestle with this in the early stages of marriage.One woman shared that she resented her husband of two years going to his mother about everything.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/kelly-sikkema-BfMyadzyfmQ-unsplash-1.jpg8281250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-03-19 00:00:002021-08-04 10:01:554 Tips for Becoming a Team in Marriage
Who handles the money in your home? What kind of debt load do you carry? How often do you argue about spending money?The 2009 State of Our Unions: Marriage in America research conducted by the National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values, focused on money and marriage, including the influence that debt, assets, spending patterns and materialism have on marriage.The findings indicate a strong correlation between consumer debt and marital satisfaction.The study found that money …
Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-educated analyst who wants to enable men and women to have healthy, long-lasting marriages."I travel a lot," says Feldhahn. "People frequently ask me what I do, and my usual response is: 'I help women understand men.' The men usually laugh and say, 'You know, we really aren't that complicated.'"Feldhahn's research found that in most cases, relationship problems happen when a husband and wife care deeply for each other and …
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/matthew-hamilton-smLoapMQ9Ec-unsplash.jpg18751250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-03-13 00:00:002020-11-12 15:11:33What Women Need to Know About Men
Avoiding behaviors that could create suspicion can help your marriage.
This past year, in the midst of the #metoo campaign, a number of married men were among those accused of sexual misconduct. News of the inappropriate behavior probably created some extremely awkward moments within these marriages and perhaps made others wonder if their spouse is likely to cheat.Dr. Wendy Wang, research director at the Institute for Family Studies, recently released a brief on the subject called Who Cheats More?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/allef-vinicius-Ct8MUMx5Ms0-unsplash-1-e1597273348798.jpg376450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-01-29 00:00:002022-05-09 14:44:40Who Is More Likely to Cheat?
If your goal is to have a healthy relationship, you'll want to keep an eye out for these unhealthy behaviors. Paying attention to them can save you from heartache down the road.The person you are dating wants to dominate your time and/or keep you from friends and family.He/she asks you to sacrifice your values for the sake of the relationship.Your significant other disrespects and discourages you instead of encouraging and honoring you. Your date wants to control you – where you g…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/giorgio-trovato-6rKkr2fh2-I-unsplash.jpg8331250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-12-12 00:00:002020-11-12 16:12:2510 Red Flags in a Dating Relationship
Not too long ago people tended to marry in their early 20s, but now the average marrying age is 29 for males and 27 for females. Why are people waiting so long to marry? And is it helping or hurting their chances of success in marriage?“It is interesting because today’s young singles (emerging adults) want to have a great marriage yet they keep putting it off,” says Dr.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/nathan-dumlao-5BB_atDT4oA-unsplash-1.jpg8331250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-12-07 00:00:002020-11-13 13:41:573 Myths About Waiting to Marry
Jennie met Kevin through a friend at work, and she thought she had met her knight in shining armor. He was such a gentleman. At the time, she had no clue that the relationship was headed for disaster. Have you ever dated "the love of your life" only to discover you were really involved with a jerk or jerkette?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/relevante-design-E_1Uk4pcIK4-unsplash.jpg8331250Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-12-05 00:00:002020-11-13 10:15:02How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette
Tabi Upton describes her life as footloose and fancy free when she was in her 20s.“I loved not being tied down to anyone or anything,” Upton says. “I lived in California for a while, worked for the Peace Corps in West Africa and went to graduate school in Colorado.”Upton had a plan to spend her 20s doing whatever she wanted. Then, she planned to marry in her 30s and settle down to have a family.
4 Keys for Taking Up a Hobby Together
During the Yamadas’ adventurous marriage, there haven’t been many dull moments. “I wouldn’t describe either of us as risk-takers, but we are definitely not afraid to try new things,” says Mrs. Yamada. “We enjoy ballroom dancing, mountain biking and scuba diving, but I couldn’t see either of us bungee jumping.” Several years ago, the Yamadas…
How to Plan a Great Wedding Experience
When you dreamed about your wedding experience, did you ever think so many people would participate in the process? Your mother is hurt because you aren’t wearing her wedding dress. The maid-of-honor has forgotten it is your wedding – not hers. Your fiancé’s family thinks the wedding plans are too formal. How will you choose…
7 Ways to Reduce Your Risk for Divorce Before Marriage
Engaged couples spend endless amounts of time planning for their special day. In the excitement of wedding showers, choosing the flowers and the cake, and finding the perfect dress, some wonder if they can make it work. They don’t necessarily question their love for each other, although some actually do. It’s more about wondering if…
Wedding Expenses and Marriage Stability
A friend’s Facebook post that said expensive wedding rings lead to less marriage stability caught Randal Olson’s eye. “My girlfriend and I had recently talked about wedding rings,” says Olson. “She said she did not want a big wedding ring. After reading the study, I was thankful. I am one semester away from graduating with…
For the Guys: Tips for Putting Your Wife First (Without Hurting Mom’s Feelings)
When you tie the knot, family relationships change. Your mom was probably your first teacher, encourager and biggest cheerleader. And chances are, she’s one of the first people you’ve gone to for advice since… well, as long as you can remember. But now things are different, and while your mom is still there for you,…
Getting Your Marriage Off to a Great Start
What makes a marriage really work? Is there any way to guarantee that love can last forever? Here’s how you can get your marriage off to a great start. It has been said that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Many people are in love with the idea of marriage. However, many couples…
Communication Killers
According to Dr. John Gottman, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are communication killers that put couples at high risk for divorce when these patterns take up permanent residence in the relationship. 1. Criticism Criticism is defined as blaming, faultfinding, or using global and negative labels to attack your spouse’s character. For example, “How would you…
Tips for Strengthening In-Law Relationships
Whether you are a son or a daughter, mom or dad, relationships change quite a bit when after marriage. Here are tips for strengthening the relationships that bind you together as a in-laws and family. How to be a good mother/father-in-law Let your in-law make his/her own decisions without meddling from you. As the relationship…
Cohabitation and Relationships
Arielle Kuperberg, a sociologist at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro, claims that her findings on premarital cohabitation debunk 30 years of research. Kuperberg believes her study shows that couples who cohabit before marrying are no more likely to divorce than anyone else. Since the 1960s, there has been a 900 percent global increase in cohabitation.…
Does Marriage Get Better Over Time?
Does marriage, like a good bottle of wine, really get better over time? That’s the question Dr. Paul Amato and his co-author, Spencer James, set out to answer. Amato serves as the Arnold and Bette Hoffman Emeritus Professor of Family Sociology and Demography at Pennsylvania State University. There’s lots of evidence that many people are…
10 Potentially Irreconcilable Differences
Are there any irreconcilable differences? The University of Washington has more than 35 years of marital research by Dr. John Gottman that determines with greater than a 90 percent accuracy rate what’s going to happen to a relationship over a three-year period. In a national telephone survey, there were two issues that couples were most…
Do I Really Want To Marry This Person?
Dating. Is. Hard. There’s no way around it. On the bright side, you meet a variety of people. You learn more about yourself and have some good (and often laughable), awkward stories. So, when you find yourself thinking about forever with that very special someone, it may be tempting to trudge forward with emotions and…
4 Tips for Becoming a Team in Marriage
After you marry, who should you approach first as your confidant, to ask for an opinion or to work through an issue? Your spouse or your parents? Many couples wrestle with this in the early stages of marriage.One woman shared that she resented her husband of two years going to his mother about everything.
Who Handles the Money?
Who handles the money in your home? What kind of debt load do you carry? How often do you argue about spending money?The 2009 State of Our Unions: Marriage in America research conducted by the National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values, focused on money and marriage, including the influence that debt, assets, spending patterns and materialism have on marriage.The findings indicate a strong correlation between consumer debt and marital satisfaction.The study found that money …
What Women Need to Know About Men
Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-educated analyst who wants to enable men and women to have healthy, long-lasting marriages."I travel a lot," says Feldhahn. "People frequently ask me what I do, and my usual response is: 'I help women understand men.' The men usually laugh and say, 'You know, we really aren't that complicated.'"Feldhahn's research found that in most cases, relationship problems happen when a husband and wife care deeply for each other and …
Who Is More Likely to Cheat?
This past year, in the midst of the #metoo campaign, a number of married men were among those accused of sexual misconduct. News of the inappropriate behavior probably created some extremely awkward moments within these marriages and perhaps made others wonder if their spouse is likely to cheat.Dr. Wendy Wang, research director at the Institute for Family Studies, recently released a brief on the subject called Who Cheats More?
10 Red Flags in a Dating Relationship
If your goal is to have a healthy relationship, you'll want to keep an eye out for these unhealthy behaviors. Paying attention to them can save you from heartache down the road.The person you are dating wants to dominate your time and/or keep you from friends and family.He/she asks you to sacrifice your values for the sake of the relationship.Your significant other disrespects and discourages you instead of encouraging and honoring you. Your date wants to control you – where you g…
3 Myths About Waiting to Marry
Not too long ago people tended to marry in their early 20s, but now the average marrying age is 29 for males and 27 for females. Why are people waiting so long to marry? And is it helping or hurting their chances of success in marriage?“It is interesting because today’s young singles (emerging adults) want to have a great marriage yet they keep putting it off,” says Dr.
How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette
Jennie met Kevin through a friend at work, and she thought she had met her knight in shining armor. He was such a gentleman. At the time, she had no clue that the relationship was headed for disaster. Have you ever dated "the love of your life" only to discover you were really involved with a jerk or jerkette?
The Single Journey
Tabi Upton describes her life as footloose and fancy free when she was in her 20s.“I loved not being tied down to anyone or anything,” Upton says. “I lived in California for a while, worked for the Peace Corps in West Africa and went to graduate school in Colorado.”Upton had a plan to spend her 20s doing whatever she wanted. Then, she planned to marry in her 30s and settle down to have a family.