It may not be the argument, but how you handle it, that matters.
Even after being married for 30 years, I vividly remember our first argument after we got married. It was intense and to be honest, it scared me. In my mind, I thought, “Wait, we are happy and we love each other, but happy couples don’t argue, do they?”I wish I knew then what I know now: Happy couples do argue.
Let’s be honest—boundaries can be hard to talk about for everyone. “Can we talk about boundaries with opposite-sex friends?” or “We need to talk about boundaries with social media.” Both of those topics can easily be construed as passive-aggressive suspicion or even a flat-out accusation. So, let’s change that. Let’s take a look at why…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/henri-pham-CLSRxisaf7E-unsplash-1-scaled-e1597073878832.jpg238450John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2020-01-28 11:52:122021-10-28 11:04:40Help! My Spouse HATES to Talk About Boundaries!
What people are thinking about about marriage may surprise you. At the 2019 NARME Summit in Nashville, Dr. Scott Stanley shared what people are thinking about marriage using the latest marriage and cohabitation research. If you’ve heard that married couples have a 50% chance of eventually divorcing, did you know that this statistic pertains specifically…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/FTF_2019Website_Mockup-Image-019-scaled-e1597074273464.jpg246450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-01-12 10:00:052021-08-17 11:54:06What People Are Thinking About Marriage
When asked, “What do couples fight about?” most people usually say money, sex, kids and in-laws straight out of the gates. In romantic relationships, couples can have all kinds of major and minor disagreements that impact the quality of their relationship. If you’re wondering what the research says about what couples are most likely to fight about, you’ll be interested in the results of a 2019 study by psychologists Guilherme Lopes, Todd Shakelford, David Buss and Mohaned Abed. They co…
Cheating. Pretty much universally denounced as the worst thing you could do in a relationship (maybe just a tiny bit behind murdering your partner). We can all agree that cheating is wrong and definitely nobody wants someone to cheat on them, but… “But what?” you ask. But let’s be honest, so much of the media…
Let’s be real, there aren’t too many people in this world that would choose to actually be lonely. We as human beings thrive off our interactions and connections with other people. We are usually our best selves when we have people who care about us in our lives. Sometimes, we’re afraid of being lonely. We…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/milan-popovic-FHvpa4-Fpu8-unsplash-scaled-e1597075291221.jpg231450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-12-03 11:16:302022-03-04 12:53:22Is Being in a Toxic Relationship Better Than Being Alone?
After you say “I do,” there’s a lot that changes and there are new things to get used to when it comes to friends and family. Add the holidays to a new marriage, and it’s easy to feel incredibly overwhelmed. It quickly becomes obvious that friends and family influence your relationship. As a married couple,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/people-gathered-inside-house-sitting-on-sofa-1054974-scaled-e1597247735337.jpg198450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-11-18 14:54:592021-04-13 09:11:495 Ways Friends and Family Influence Your Relationship
What do you do when your friend is in a toxic relationship? Can you spot it? But what about you? Do you know when you’re in a toxic relationship? Most people want to be in healthy and satisfying partnerships, but sometimes we settle for less just so we can feel wanted, appreciated, or loved. We…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/the-hk-photo-company-6GQ7V2l5iPA-unsplash-scaled-e1597259229421.jpg300450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-11-18 14:36:422020-09-30 15:24:27Am I In A Toxic Relationship?
“I have a dilemma.” An old co-worker mused as we headed back to the office after a quick lunch date, reconnecting after I had recently changed jobs. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” I asked, but the tone of his voice already raised a red flag in the form of my quickening pulse and intuition that his…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/christin-hume-610U5teI5B4-unsplash-2-scaled-e1597259377487.jpg300450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-11-18 12:47:052020-09-30 15:13:38Am I Having an Emotional Affair?
Will Counseling Work For Me? Will beekeeping? Homeopathic remedies? Fixing your own transmission? Doing the same thing over and over again work for you? I dunno. You are unique. Going to a professional counselor might not work for you, but there are some very compelling reasons to give it a try. The better question might…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/youssef-naddam-iJ2IG8ckCpA-unsplash-scaled-e1597259560536.jpg166450John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2019-11-13 16:12:362020-09-30 15:01:28Will Counseling Work For Me?
Buying a house is one of the most stressful things that you can go through as human beings. Especially if you’re newlyweds! Yes, it’s even more stressful than planning a wedding. Not only do you have to decide on a house together, but once you do that, there’s also a *TON* of legal jargon, paperwork, and timely…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/nathan-fertig-FBXuXp57eM0-unsplash-scaled-e1597259877257.jpg300450Caroline Henryhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2019-10-16 09:22:362021-12-21 10:25:47How to Buy Your First House Without Going Crazy
Why should you date? Wow! That’s an incredibly personal question that has different answers depending on many different factors. Are you divorced? In your 20s fresh out of school and never married? In your 30s and hoping to be married? Looking for someone to have loads of fun with? Answer This Question First… “Why do…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/couple-environment-girl-1391480-scaled-e1597331191677.jpg229450Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2019-10-10 10:28:402020-08-13 11:15:53Should You Be Dating?
Make sure you're on the same page before the big day.
Being engaged is a season of anticipation! You feel all kinds of excitement, right? You can’t wait! Before the wedding arrives, that and the honeymoon are all you can think about! (Plus, you can’t wait for all those wedding questions to stop!)
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/SarahWeddingCrop-2-e1597331811776.jpg164400First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-10-10 10:21:272022-03-04 13:05:077 Things You Need to Know Before The Wedding
If you want to try to have a good relationship with them, this is for you.
In-laws are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. They might blow through boundaries. Your in-laws might meddle in your marriage. You might even be having a hard time living with your in-laws. Possibly, they’re totally toxic. This isn’t about any of those things. Sometimes, your in-laws are just difficult…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/haley-phelps-twoahjAsoO4-unsplash-scaled-e1597336867111.jpg183450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-10-09 11:49:332022-05-24 16:06:19What to Do When You Don’t Really Like Your In-Laws
Examining your differences can be key to finding out.
You’re in love and you’re total opposites. Is this your true love? Can your relationship last forever? Do you guys stand a chance? You’ve heard “opposites attract” and you’ve definitely felt that attraction, but you can’t deny how opposite you are either. (Your friends and family constantly remind you…) Then, maybe in quiet moments, the…
Have you ever had a friend who completely began to ignore you when they started dating someone? Or a friend who began acting differently once they were in a relationship? How did that make you feel? Angry, irritated, frustrated? However it made you feel, we all say that will never be us until… it is.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/vladimir-kudinov-eQQDRilCZEM-unsplash-scaled-e1597343704117.jpg190450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-09-30 08:47:502020-08-24 13:00:13The Dos and Don’ts of Dating (And Not Dating)
What, exactly, were you expecting when you got married? Did you expect marriage and your spouse to make you happy? Are you on the verge of stepping across the line into the world of marriage with your beloved? What do you expect when you get there? Are you expecting your “happily ever after?” If you’re…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/477b895e-3212-4a65-b3c1-7c4d47af2505-scaled-e1597345434859.jpg174450Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2019-09-26 09:02:182020-09-30 15:39:06What If My Marriage Doesn’t Make Me Happy?
“When will I be old enough to date?” – the question many parents dread. You've known it was coming, but you also realize you are crossing over into a whole new world with lots of moving parts, plenty of which you cannot control. You may reply sarcastically, “When you’re 30!” Or, you may try to be a bit more realistic and really wrestle with the right age for your child to date, which may be different depending on the child.A study published in The Journal o…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/natalie-parham-yPvuYrJ7FGc-unsplash-e1597345544610.jpg175450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2019-09-23 00:00:002022-03-04 13:39:08When Should Your Teen Date?
Learning how to lead in a new marriage is hard. Trust me. I’ve got the scratches to prove it! “WILL!! YOU’RE PUSHING ME UNDER A TREE!!!” It was at this moment I realized my husband and I should not have gotten in the same canoe on this family trip. You see, my husband (the most…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/bob-orchard-9v4FScFlTDg-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Caroline Henryhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2019-08-19 08:49:312020-10-27 11:22:54Learning How to Lead (and knowing when not to) in A New Marriage
There is pretty much nothing more exciting and scary than thinking about crossing the threshold into your freshman year of college. Your parents won't be telling you what time to get up or that you need to study. You can stay out as late as you like with whomever you like.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/priscilla-du-preez-XkKCui44iM0-unsplash-e1583852252475.jpg6391280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2019-08-19 00:00:002022-02-18 16:16:19Tips for Getting Through Your Freshman Year of College
Do Happy Couples Argue?
Even after being married for 30 years, I vividly remember our first argument after we got married. It was intense and to be honest, it scared me. In my mind, I thought, “Wait, we are happy and we love each other, but happy couples don’t argue, do they?”I wish I knew then what I know now: Happy couples do argue.
Help! My Spouse HATES to Talk About Boundaries!
Let’s be honest—boundaries can be hard to talk about for everyone. “Can we talk about boundaries with opposite-sex friends?” or “We need to talk about boundaries with social media.” Both of those topics can easily be construed as passive-aggressive suspicion or even a flat-out accusation. So, let’s change that. Let’s take a look at why…
What People Are Thinking About Marriage
What people are thinking about about marriage may surprise you. At the 2019 NARME Summit in Nashville, Dr. Scott Stanley shared what people are thinking about marriage using the latest marriage and cohabitation research. If you’ve heard that married couples have a 50% chance of eventually divorcing, did you know that this statistic pertains specifically…
Why Do Couples Fight?
When asked, “What do couples fight about?” most people usually say money, sex, kids and in-laws straight out of the gates. In romantic relationships, couples can have all kinds of major and minor disagreements that impact the quality of their relationship. If you’re wondering what the research says about what couples are most likely to fight about, you’ll be interested in the results of a 2019 study by psychologists Guilherme Lopes, Todd Shakelford, David Buss and Mohaned Abed. They co…
What Actually Counts As Cheating?
Cheating. Pretty much universally denounced as the worst thing you could do in a relationship (maybe just a tiny bit behind murdering your partner). We can all agree that cheating is wrong and definitely nobody wants someone to cheat on them, but… “But what?” you ask. But let’s be honest, so much of the media…
Is Being in a Toxic Relationship Better Than Being Alone?
Let’s be real, there aren’t too many people in this world that would choose to actually be lonely. We as human beings thrive off our interactions and connections with other people. We are usually our best selves when we have people who care about us in our lives. Sometimes, we’re afraid of being lonely. We…
5 Ways Friends and Family Influence Your Relationship
After you say “I do,” there’s a lot that changes and there are new things to get used to when it comes to friends and family. Add the holidays to a new marriage, and it’s easy to feel incredibly overwhelmed. It quickly becomes obvious that friends and family influence your relationship. As a married couple,…
Am I In A Toxic Relationship?
What do you do when your friend is in a toxic relationship? Can you spot it? But what about you? Do you know when you’re in a toxic relationship? Most people want to be in healthy and satisfying partnerships, but sometimes we settle for less just so we can feel wanted, appreciated, or loved. We…
Am I Having an Emotional Affair?
“I have a dilemma.” An old co-worker mused as we headed back to the office after a quick lunch date, reconnecting after I had recently changed jobs. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” I asked, but the tone of his voice already raised a red flag in the form of my quickening pulse and intuition that his…
Will Counseling Work For Me?
Will Counseling Work For Me? Will beekeeping? Homeopathic remedies? Fixing your own transmission? Doing the same thing over and over again work for you? I dunno. You are unique. Going to a professional counselor might not work for you, but there are some very compelling reasons to give it a try. The better question might…
How to Buy Your First House Without Going Crazy
Buying a house is one of the most stressful things that you can go through as human beings. Especially if you’re newlyweds! Yes, it’s even more stressful than planning a wedding. Not only do you have to decide on a house together, but once you do that, there’s also a *TON* of legal jargon, paperwork, and timely…
Should You Be Dating?
Why should you date? Wow! That’s an incredibly personal question that has different answers depending on many different factors. Are you divorced? In your 20s fresh out of school and never married? In your 30s and hoping to be married? Looking for someone to have loads of fun with? Answer This Question First… “Why do…
7 Things You Need to Know Before The Wedding
Being engaged is a season of anticipation! You feel all kinds of excitement, right? You can’t wait! Before the wedding arrives, that and the honeymoon are all you can think about! (Plus, you can’t wait for all those wedding questions to stop!)
What to Do When You Don’t Really Like Your In-Laws
In-laws are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. They might blow through boundaries. Your in-laws might meddle in your marriage. You might even be having a hard time living with your in-laws. Possibly, they’re totally toxic. This isn’t about any of those things. Sometimes, your in-laws are just difficult…
We’re Total Opposites! Can Our Relationship Work?
You’re in love and you’re total opposites. Is this your true love? Can your relationship last forever? Do you guys stand a chance? You’ve heard “opposites attract” and you’ve definitely felt that attraction, but you can’t deny how opposite you are either. (Your friends and family constantly remind you…) Then, maybe in quiet moments, the…
The Dos and Don’ts of Dating (And Not Dating)
Have you ever had a friend who completely began to ignore you when they started dating someone? Or a friend who began acting differently once they were in a relationship? How did that make you feel? Angry, irritated, frustrated? However it made you feel, we all say that will never be us until… it is.…
What If My Marriage Doesn’t Make Me Happy?
What, exactly, were you expecting when you got married? Did you expect marriage and your spouse to make you happy? Are you on the verge of stepping across the line into the world of marriage with your beloved? What do you expect when you get there? Are you expecting your “happily ever after?” If you’re…
When Should Your Teen Date?
“When will I be old enough to date?” – the question many parents dread. You've known it was coming, but you also realize you are crossing over into a whole new world with lots of moving parts, plenty of which you cannot control. You may reply sarcastically, “When you’re 30!” Or, you may try to be a bit more realistic and really wrestle with the right age for your child to date, which may be different depending on the child.A study published in The Journal o…
Learning How to Lead (and knowing when not to) in A New Marriage
Learning how to lead in a new marriage is hard. Trust me. I’ve got the scratches to prove it! “WILL!! YOU’RE PUSHING ME UNDER A TREE!!!” It was at this moment I realized my husband and I should not have gotten in the same canoe on this family trip. You see, my husband (the most…
Tips for Getting Through Your Freshman Year of College
There is pretty much nothing more exciting and scary than thinking about crossing the threshold into your freshman year of college. Your parents won't be telling you what time to get up or that you need to study. You can stay out as late as you like with whomever you like.
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