*Clink!* Champagne flutes (or rocks glasses if it’s your preference) meet to toast the “Yes!” you just said. Before you even have the chance to sit down, enjoy the butterflies and process what just happened, the congratulations come serendipitously. People begin to ask ALL THE QUESTIONS, poking at what’s next— Have you picked a date?…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/404188-PCTX7A-527-scaled-e1598384620982.jpg203450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-08-25 15:43:472021-07-29 10:06:518 Things No One Tells You About Being Engaged
It’s normal to get nervous about important decisions. Asking yourself, “Am I marrying the right person?” is one of those nervy decisions because marriage is a lifelong commitment, not something that will come out easily in the wash if you’ve not made the right choice. So you weigh the odds, make a list of pros…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/tanner-ross-BqFurADddWQ-unsplash-1.jpg4411000First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-08-18 14:05:022021-01-08 14:33:175 Signs You Should Break Off Your Engagement
The morning light playfully casts its shadows on my husband’s face. I ask myself, once again, in my half slumber, if this is really my life. My mornings are filled with “I love you’s” and kisses (morning breath and all) and an alarm set purposely to snooze so we can cozy up to each other…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/jonathan-borba-LLBLQAbzfpw-unsplash-scaled-e1597672710464.jpg115362First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-08-17 09:58:452021-01-08 14:33:22What I’ve Learned During My First Year of Marriage
2020 might be the year everyone wants to escape from and/or forget for so many reasons. This means we shouldn’t be surprised to learn that many of us are looking for ways to escape the pain and fear. One of the escapes that has seen a dramatic increase in use during the coronavirus pandemic is…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Pandemic-and-Porn-pexels-soumil-kumar-735911-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-08-12 11:52:122020-10-27 10:51:25What You Need to Know about the Pandemic and Porn
How long should a couple be engaged before getting married? Great question! There isn’t a “magic number” and it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing. What matters is how well you both really know each other and if you are both ready—individually and relationally—for that big “forever” next step. To help guide you through…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/samuel-rodriguez-3jTLp4o7jDc-unsplash-scaled-e1597092595990.jpg268450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-08-10 16:50:352021-07-29 10:07:46How Long Should A Couple Be Engaged Before Getting Married?
When everything else in the world is having to adapt because of a pandemic, why not throw romance into the mix! Thus “quarandating” is born. Quarandating: Dating while in quarantine. It’s an interesting concept I’m not sure anyone would have predicted-—though let’s be honest, 2020 has been an enigmatic year. Nonetheless, as you consider the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/woman-sitting-on-sofa-while-looking-at-phone-with-laptop-on-920382-scaled-e1596204386643.jpg272500First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-07-29 08:39:372021-01-08 14:33:425 Things To Know About Quarandating
“I just want to do it right, I want to know what I’m supposed to do.” I kept saying this to myself while I was getting ready to be married. Plus, I wanted to prepare myself for anything that could come our way. I wanted a rock solid marriage with a foundation no earthquake could…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/vince-fleming-Ago_XP43ae0-unsplash-scaled.jpg13662048First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-07-24 14:33:012021-07-29 10:10:21We’re Getting Married And Everyone Is Giving Us Advice
I value my friend who reminded me that summer doesn’t end just because we start talking about our children going back to school. In fact, we are just one month into summer! Summer means different things for different people. For some, summer is about being footloose and fancy free. For others, summer is composed of…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/jonathan-borba-kMnhiuPhzSY-unsplash-scaled-e1595612712392.jpg10742048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-07-24 13:45:432020-10-27 10:53:4310 Date Nights Every Couple Must Do Before Summer Ends
Whether you are thinking about getting married or you have already jumped in with both feet, you may be wondering if it’s really possible to prevent divorce. Or, to put it another way, is it just wishful thinking to believe this is forever? If you have lived through your parents’ divorce, you might be wondering…
While you’re engaged, conversations tend to hover endlessly around the wedding day, and naturally so. Though working out the details and planning your celebration is exciting, having conversations about other topics is important, too. You and your fiancé are stepping into something beautiful—a promise of commitment, a proclamation of loving each other now and falling…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/corryne-wooten-Cl4o_F1fL4I-unsplash-scaled-e1596213926131.jpg278500First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-07-20 08:47:452021-01-08 14:33:54Conversations Every Engaged Couple Should Have Before They Say, “I Do”
Fighting with your fiancé all the time, aka, the person you are planning on spending forever with, can feel just exhausting. The uncertainty from COVID-19, the potential for rescheduling your wedding, fear of job loss, or navigating unemployment while trying to secure a future together, spending what may feel like too much time together, and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/AdobeStock_262265119-scaled-e1596212088577.jpeg226400First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-07-16 14:25:502021-01-08 14:33:58My Fiancé and I are Fighting All the Time
I just want to feel our love—the love we are spending time, energy, and money on celebrating. I miss the lack of urgency in answering questions and exchanging our ideas to spark conversations instead of polite compromises. When I was in the midst of planning my wedding I didn’t prioritize quality time with my fiancé.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/jakob-owens-o_cqBHwKnWg-unsplash-scaled-e1596213610624.jpg189500First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-07-07 09:23:382021-01-08 14:34:11How to Spend Quality Time with Your Fiancé While Planning a Wedding
Make your conversations more productive with these tips.
It’s nothing new to disagree with the ones you love, whether it’s about COVID-19, quarantine, religion, guns, racism, politics, football or something else. In fact, chances are pretty good that you completely disagree on certain topics with someone you care deeply about. The disagreements may be so intense you wonder how you can actually co-exist. …
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/disagree-priscilla-du-preez-ZxMASvRPEn4-unsplash-1-e1596214094110.jpg205500Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-07-01 06:07:272021-01-07 15:21:40What to Do When You Disagree With the Ones You Love
Prioritizing your marriage over your wedding is a beautiful place to grow from. While the wedding day itself is dreamt of, saved for, and planned out, it can be magical without being financially detrimental. You’ll find you carry over some of the same conversations you had while planning your wedding while having conversations about preparing…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/man-and-woman-kissing-on-grass-field-3534497-scaled-e1596214549769.jpg233500First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-06-26 23:17:352021-01-08 14:34:17Money-Saving Tips for Planning Your Own Wedding
As a young girl, I grew up in a neighborhood that was primarily boys. So, I played football, kickball, basketball and baseball with the guys. Throughout high school and college, I always felt comfortable around guys. They were like big brothers to me. I remember one incident when I was going on a date in…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/people-holding-mugs-1524335-scaled-e1596214792211.jpg200500Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-06-23 14:46:312020-09-02 11:32:02How Opposite-Sex Friendships Change After You Get Married
Marriage is the best! But it’s not perfect. If you’re engaged, I think it’s only fair someone breaks the news to you. There are some definite misconceptions about marriage you should know before you say, “I do.” Having recently been in your shoes (about a year ago now), I’m glad to have figured this out!…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/noah-d-h-o9wM2j4Tf3Y-unsplash-scaled-e1596214989100.jpg251450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-06-22 09:45:532021-01-08 14:34:225 Common Misconceptions You Should Know About Marriage Before You Say “I Do”
Knowing these things can help you enjoy your engagement season.
Being engaged is like being in limbo. You’re excited to be engaged but more excited to be married. It’s a season of anticipation and possibly a lot of frustration if you aren’t careful. My husband Tyler and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I can confidently say that being married is way better than…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/man-and-woman-holding-hands-together-888923-1-e1596224682571.jpg275500Sarah Hamhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngSarah Ham2020-06-11 10:44:462021-03-30 09:54:573 Things I Wish I Had Done Differently While I Was Engaged
This engagement season is something you’ve looked forward to. Being able to tell your family and friends that someone loves you so much that they want to spend their life by your side. In this season of excitement, planning begins and you ask each other questions about what you want your life together to look…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/alex-avalos-sv9ZdVnbzAc-unsplash-scaled-e1596225261498.jpg244500Sarah Hamhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngSarah Ham2020-06-04 12:52:402020-10-27 11:05:56What to Do When Your Fiancé Doesn’t Want to Set a Date for the Wedding
One-bedroom apartment. Two newlyweds working from home now. Multiple video conference calls (sometimes simultaneously). Only two options for “getting space”: Bathroom or the balcony. Lots of uncertainty and anxiety in the air amidst a pandemic. Time to work on those healthy communication skills. I’m sitting on the couch with my husband when the phone rings.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/toa-heftiba-wyHS87kKh5o-unsplash-3-scaled-e1596820795421.jpg365450First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-04-06 09:58:582021-03-16 11:38:206 Tips to Have a Difficult Conversation with Your Spouse
My wife Kristin reminded me last night that we have our wedding anniversary coming up next week! Let me be real with you – it would have snuck up on me anyway. However, with everything happening with working remotely, the kids being home, and the pressure to practice healthy social distancing, it honestly slipped my…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/jude-beck-Sct4qJxA8d0-unsplash-scaled-e1596832505229.jpg254450Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-03-24 14:21:122020-09-17 15:12:52COVID-19 Outbreak: Grieving the Loss of Normalcy
8 Things No One Tells You About Being Engaged
*Clink!* Champagne flutes (or rocks glasses if it’s your preference) meet to toast the “Yes!” you just said. Before you even have the chance to sit down, enjoy the butterflies and process what just happened, the congratulations come serendipitously. People begin to ask ALL THE QUESTIONS, poking at what’s next— Have you picked a date?…
5 Signs You Should Break Off Your Engagement
It’s normal to get nervous about important decisions. Asking yourself, “Am I marrying the right person?” is one of those nervy decisions because marriage is a lifelong commitment, not something that will come out easily in the wash if you’ve not made the right choice. So you weigh the odds, make a list of pros…
What I’ve Learned During My First Year of Marriage
The morning light playfully casts its shadows on my husband’s face. I ask myself, once again, in my half slumber, if this is really my life. My mornings are filled with “I love you’s” and kisses (morning breath and all) and an alarm set purposely to snooze so we can cozy up to each other…
What You Need to Know about the Pandemic and Porn
2020 might be the year everyone wants to escape from and/or forget for so many reasons. This means we shouldn’t be surprised to learn that many of us are looking for ways to escape the pain and fear. One of the escapes that has seen a dramatic increase in use during the coronavirus pandemic is…
How Long Should A Couple Be Engaged Before Getting Married?
How long should a couple be engaged before getting married? Great question! There isn’t a “magic number” and it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing. What matters is how well you both really know each other and if you are both ready—individually and relationally—for that big “forever” next step. To help guide you through…
5 Things To Know About Quarandating
When everything else in the world is having to adapt because of a pandemic, why not throw romance into the mix! Thus “quarandating” is born. Quarandating: Dating while in quarantine. It’s an interesting concept I’m not sure anyone would have predicted-—though let’s be honest, 2020 has been an enigmatic year. Nonetheless, as you consider the…
We’re Getting Married And Everyone Is Giving Us Advice
“I just want to do it right, I want to know what I’m supposed to do.” I kept saying this to myself while I was getting ready to be married. Plus, I wanted to prepare myself for anything that could come our way. I wanted a rock solid marriage with a foundation no earthquake could…
10 Date Nights Every Couple Must Do Before Summer Ends
I value my friend who reminded me that summer doesn’t end just because we start talking about our children going back to school. In fact, we are just one month into summer! Summer means different things for different people. For some, summer is about being footloose and fancy free. For others, summer is composed of…
Can You Really Prevent Divorce?
Whether you are thinking about getting married or you have already jumped in with both feet, you may be wondering if it’s really possible to prevent divorce. Or, to put it another way, is it just wishful thinking to believe this is forever? If you have lived through your parents’ divorce, you might be wondering…
Conversations Every Engaged Couple Should Have Before They Say, “I Do”
While you’re engaged, conversations tend to hover endlessly around the wedding day, and naturally so. Though working out the details and planning your celebration is exciting, having conversations about other topics is important, too. You and your fiancé are stepping into something beautiful—a promise of commitment, a proclamation of loving each other now and falling…
My Fiancé and I are Fighting All the Time
Fighting with your fiancé all the time, aka, the person you are planning on spending forever with, can feel just exhausting. The uncertainty from COVID-19, the potential for rescheduling your wedding, fear of job loss, or navigating unemployment while trying to secure a future together, spending what may feel like too much time together, and…
How to Spend Quality Time with Your Fiancé While Planning a Wedding
I just want to feel our love—the love we are spending time, energy, and money on celebrating. I miss the lack of urgency in answering questions and exchanging our ideas to spark conversations instead of polite compromises. When I was in the midst of planning my wedding I didn’t prioritize quality time with my fiancé.…
What to Do When You Disagree With the Ones You Love
It’s nothing new to disagree with the ones you love, whether it’s about COVID-19, quarantine, religion, guns, racism, politics, football or something else. In fact, chances are pretty good that you completely disagree on certain topics with someone you care deeply about. The disagreements may be so intense you wonder how you can actually co-exist. …
Money-Saving Tips for Planning Your Own Wedding
Prioritizing your marriage over your wedding is a beautiful place to grow from. While the wedding day itself is dreamt of, saved for, and planned out, it can be magical without being financially detrimental. You’ll find you carry over some of the same conversations you had while planning your wedding while having conversations about preparing…
How Opposite-Sex Friendships Change After You Get Married
As a young girl, I grew up in a neighborhood that was primarily boys. So, I played football, kickball, basketball and baseball with the guys. Throughout high school and college, I always felt comfortable around guys. They were like big brothers to me. I remember one incident when I was going on a date in…
5 Common Misconceptions You Should Know About Marriage Before You Say “I Do”
Marriage is the best! But it’s not perfect. If you’re engaged, I think it’s only fair someone breaks the news to you. There are some definite misconceptions about marriage you should know before you say, “I do.” Having recently been in your shoes (about a year ago now), I’m glad to have figured this out!…
3 Things I Wish I Had Done Differently While I Was Engaged
Being engaged is like being in limbo. You’re excited to be engaged but more excited to be married. It’s a season of anticipation and possibly a lot of frustration if you aren’t careful. My husband Tyler and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I can confidently say that being married is way better than…
What to Do When Your Fiancé Doesn’t Want to Set a Date for the Wedding
This engagement season is something you’ve looked forward to. Being able to tell your family and friends that someone loves you so much that they want to spend their life by your side. In this season of excitement, planning begins and you ask each other questions about what you want your life together to look…
6 Tips to Have a Difficult Conversation with Your Spouse
One-bedroom apartment. Two newlyweds working from home now. Multiple video conference calls (sometimes simultaneously). Only two options for “getting space”: Bathroom or the balcony. Lots of uncertainty and anxiety in the air amidst a pandemic. Time to work on those healthy communication skills. I’m sitting on the couch with my husband when the phone rings.…
COVID-19 Outbreak: Grieving the Loss of Normalcy
My wife Kristin reminded me last night that we have our wedding anniversary coming up next week! Let me be real with you – it would have snuck up on me anyway. However, with everything happening with working remotely, the kids being home, and the pressure to practice healthy social distancing, it honestly slipped my…