10 Dates to Heat Up Your Marriage This Summer
Ready to raise the temp in your relationship with some hot summer date nights? These 10 dates to heat your marriage during this summer of love can really turn up the thermostat in your relationship. (And you won’t even want to cool off.)
1. Be a Kid Again
When I think of my childhood summers, I remember endless games of tag and hide and seek. Now we have adult responsibilities that prevent us from being footloose and fancy-free. How can you bring some of that joy back? Be a kid again. Activities can include mini-golf, bowling, roller skating, and visiting an amusement park or an arcade.
2. Group Date Nights
Remember when you used to hang out with your friends? It may have been at the mall, a park, or the local eatery. Nothing was better than spending time with your friends, talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. Get a group of your favorite married couples together. Go on a walking tour of your town, go ax throwing, or even participate in an escape room together.
3. Retro Date night
You know the saying, “What’s old is new again.” Think about the clothes, music, or hairstyles from the past. Find a thrift shop with clothes from the 50s, 60s, 70s, or 80s. Select an outfit for each of you. Host your own Retro Date Night with friends, or you all can dress up and have a date like they would have had in the past. For example, 50s Date: Go to a drive-in movie and then hit a hamburger spot or ice cream shop where you can share a milkshake.
4. Future Date Dight
Think about what your life might look like in 30 years. Would you be retired? Would you own that boat or lake house you’ve dreamed about? Would you have grandchildren? Would you have an RV? Try renting an RV and go camping near your home. Or go ahead and rent a lake house for the weekend.
5. Enjoy Your Town
You may have lived in your town for years but have never experienced it like a tourist. It may be fun to go on a walking tour. Enjoy the sights and sounds of a local farmer’s market.
6. Try out a First Things First Date Night!
We’ve got a long list of great date nights that all can be done for free and at home! [If you have kids, you won’t even need to hire a sitter. Just start after the kids go to bed and enjoy an intentional night together.] From learning how to Salsa to baking an apple pie together, you and your spouse can rekindle that spark without ever leaving the house!
7. Music of Your Life
Do you and your honey have a song? This summer may be a great time to take in an outdoor concert. One of my favorite local concerts is when our local symphony plays on the 4th of July. Classical may not be your favorite. However, see if your town has music festivals or local artists playing your favorite genres. “Sometimes music is the only medicine the heart and soul need.”
8. Expand Your Mind
Maybe the thought of heat or crowds of people doesn’t seem fun. Instead, you may enjoy quieter moments together where you stimulate your brain, the largest sex organ in the body. Seek out art or history museums. If your town has public art, find it. Go see a play performed by a theater group. Find and watch a lecture by your favorite poet or writer.
9. On the Road Again
Take a short drive, a weekend trip to the beach, or even a planned 2-week road trip that allows you to see and experience something other than the ordinary. While together, be conscious of talking to each other and not spending so much time on your phone or device. If you feel you have run out of things to talk about, here are a few conversation starters.
10. Let’s Get Physical
Being physical with your spouse creates a deeper level of intimacy and greater bonding with each other. Participate in a virtual race and train together. Or, take any outdoor exercise class like walking, yoga, kayaking, etc. (If you run out of ideas, you can always do a bedroom date!)
Let this be your summer of love!
Other helpful blogs:
3 Great Dates To Enhance Communication In Your Marriage
5 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Fit
6 Exercises to Strengthen Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage
7 Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask Each Other to Improve Their Sex Life
Rain got your date night plans ruined? We beg to differ! Next time a spring shower pops up, pull out this date night and have some fun together. It’s all about getting creative and using those storms for the good of your relationship (kinda like in life)!
Supplies:
- Watercolor paper
- Watercolor paint (chalk would work if it’s just drizzling!)
- Two watercolor brushes
- A cup of water to clean out the brushes
Directions:
Next time the rain has your date night plans cancelled…
- Grab a couple of pieces of watercolor paper and your spouse!
- Be sure to set up your paint station with a cup of water and plenty of paper towels.
- Spend some time painting your masterpieces – the more abstract the better!
- Note: To get the best results, clean your brush between each color you use!
- Give them 5-10 minutes to dry. In the meantime, check out the questions below to pass the time!
- Once they’re about halfway dry, now comes the fun part! Take them outside into the rain. It’s up to you whether you let them get just a few sprinkles or totally drenched. You can lay it flat to dry for a unique texture/pattern, or hang it upright to get some cool dripping effects throughout your painting!
- If you didn’t finish the questions below, do that now to keep the date night going!
- Once they’re totally dry, hang them on the fridge to show off to anyone and everyone! These masterpieces deserve it!
Questions To Ask While They’re Drying:
- Do you like being creative together? If yes, in what ways? If no, why not?
- What would you say is the best date we’ve ever been on? What made it so great?
- Do you think we’re good at encouraging each other through life’s storms?
- What would you say has been the hardest/biggest storm we’ve weathered together? (Literal or figurative)
- What’s one thing we can do to learn how to use the storms of life to better our relationship instead of tearing us apart?
- In what ways have we seen the flowers bloom because of the “spring showers” we’ve been through?
- Would you say I do a good job of encouraging you? What’s one thing I can do to be a better encourager?
Want more DIY Date Nights? Check out all of our date ideas here!
25 Fun Dates to Spruce Up Your Marriage This Spring
It’s the time of year for flowers, birds, and butterflies. Spring is known as a time of rebirth after the dormant season of winter. For many, it’s the time for spring cleaning and sprucing up your home, inside and outside. Likewise, making time to spruce up your relationship may be what you need to stir up those butterflies in your stomach, too!
Dating in marriage can bring joy and fun to your relationship and even make it feel new and fresh again as you enter a new season.
This list of date ideas for couples can get you goin’.
- Visit a local u-pick farm. Find a farm that grows your favorite fruit (strawberries, blueberries, etc.)
- Check out a farmer’s market for some garden goodies. You’ve probably got a weekly market with local products you’d enjoy.
- Stargaze. Light your fire pit. Find specific constellations in the spring sky and talk about your dreams for the future.
- Watch a sunset/sunrise together. Take a thermos of coffee. Grab a blanket, find a spot, and snuggle up.
- Go Junking/Antiquing/Yard Saling. Spend $10 on a unique gift for each other.
- Ride bikes.
- Take walks together. It can be in your neighborhood, nature, or park.
- Play games in the park. Pack your frisbee, fly kites, or bring a ball to throw or kick around.
- Plant something together. Think flowers, an herb garden, or trees.
- Have an old-fashioned game night. Card games, board games, or Truth or Dare are good options. Use your imagination.
- Make homemade ice cream. Make your favorite ice cream and have toppings on hand that you like!
- Take a Segway tour, either of your city or a city near you.
- Fill out your own March Madness brackets with friendly wagers either game by game, Sweet 16, Elite 8, Final Four, or national championship. Prizes could be massages, Girls’ or Guys’ Night Out, or maybe the winner gets breakfast in bed.
- Participate in a First Things First Virtual/DIY Date Night.
- Plan a community service date where you focus on helping other people. Join local Meals on Wheels, a food bank, or a community clean-up. Give away stuff you don’t need/use. (Don’t be limited by this list. Let your creative juices flow!)
- Do a spring photoshoot. Take selfies, ask a friend to take pictures, or hire a pro. Go to various locations, such as a parking lot, museum, car lot, or a nature park.
- Visit a winery or distillery. Learn about the process they use and try samples.
- Have a water date. Paddleboarding, a water balloon fight, rafting, swim park, sprinklers/water hose, beach, canoeing, fishing, or kayaking are options.
- Create your own food tour of local eateries. Sample Thai food, pizza, sushi, tacos, hamburger, ice cream, or french fries. Check out places you haven’t tried before!
- Fire up your BBQ grill. Have a grilling contest and eat outdoors.
- Attend a minor/major/little league baseball game. Grab some peanuts and Cracker Jacks…
- Go to a drive-in movie theater. Find one here.
- Plan an “Expand Your Mind” date. Read and discuss a book together. Watch a documentary.
- Zoo date! Visit a nearby zoo or travel to one. You may be able to see newly-born baby animals. (And sometimes the library will let you check out a free pass!)
- Spa date night! Give each other pedicures, back and shoulder rubs, or foot massages. Do facials or take a steamy bath.
Spring is a time for new beginnings. And after the year we’ve had, that may be just what the doctor ordered. These spring date ideas can not only help you have fun with your spouse—they can create a fresh start for your relationship and help you have a stronger marriage all year long.
Have fun!
Other Helpful Links:
Getting bored of your typical takeout and a night in? Check out this date night, a spin on a more classic evening. This date night will get you safely out of the house, enjoying each other’s company, and growing deeper with every moment. And all you need is a car (and even that’s optional) and a bandana!
Supplies:
- A car
- A blindfold/bandana
Instructions:
- Both partners pick three menu items from a favorite restaurant. Don’t tell your honey! (If you need to order ahead from this restaurant, do so before you leave and do a curbside pickup order) [NOTE: Want to spend the full night in? Order delivery instead!]
- Pick one person to drive first. The other person gets in the car blindfolded!
- Go and pick up your food! Then drive to a different location so your spouse can’t see where the food is from. (Pro-tip, bring a blanket along to cover the food so they can’t see the bags/branding!)
- Now, switch roles and pick up the other order!
- Once both orders are picked up (and neither spouse knows where the other person went), you can finish this date night either in the car or back at home.
- One spouse, put the blindfold back on.
- The non-blindfolded person then has to feed their partner the three menu items! Keep the blindfold on until they’ve guessed what they’re eating.
- Switch roles again!
- Once you’ve both guessed all three correctly, put the blindfold down and answer the questions below to take the date night deeper.
Questions To Take It Deeper:
- On a scale of 1-10, how well would you say I know you?
- What’s one thing I can do to be a better listener?
- How can I better express my feelings and emotions to you?
- How have you seen me change since the first time we met?
- What would you say is my biggest strength and weakness?
- Would you say you’re more in love with me now than when we first got together?
- What can we regularly do together to help grow our relationship?
- How have you seen our relationship change since we first got together?
- What’s one thing I might not know about you? (Think abstract & get creative! Fears, weird thoughts, childhood memories, etc.)
- If you and I could go anywhere in the world together for a month (all expenses paid) where would you want to go?
- What’s one thing you’ve missed a lot because of the pandemic?
- How can we keep each other accountable to adapting to our ever-changing world?
Looking for more creative date night ideas? Check out our full page here!
DIY Date Night | Spring Fever
Although spring is right around the corner, many people still feel like they’re in the middle of winter. Whether you’re trapped in the middle of a snowstorm or enjoying some sunny weather, this DIY date night will get you and your love in the springtime mood! Here are a few ideas for what you can do on this date night (pick which one works best for you!), plus a few conversation starters to keep those convos deep, meaningful, and lasting!
Date Idea 1: Grow Old With Me
Supplies:
- Seeds (of any kind! Wildflowers, herbs, veggies, etc.)
- Two pots
- Potting soil
Instructions:
This date night really is as simple as it seems! The goal here is to plant some seeds so that they will grow and bloom (or fruit) by summer. If you’re not much of a green thumb, here’s a great article on what not to do! Once your seeds are planted, be sure to check on them regularly, keep them watered and in sunlight, and watch them grow!
Conversation Starters:
- How have you seen me grow in the past year?
- How do you think you’ve grown in the past year?
- Do you feel like there’s something missing from what you need to grow? (Not getting enough sunlight, water, etc.)
- What do you imagine when you picture us growing old together?
- What’s one thing we can do now to make sure we’re just as in love when we’re old together?
- What can I do to help you grow in the year to come?
- What seeds should we plant in our marriage now to help our relationship bloom/bear fruit later?
Date Idea 2: Spring Cleaning (No really, it’s more fun than it sounds!)
Supplies:
- That one project you’ve been putting off for sooooo long
Instructions:
Sure, this isn’t your typical date night, but who says it can’t be fun? Sometimes doing the most mind-numbing tasks (cleaning out the fridge, organizing that one closet, hanging those pictures you bought 3 months ago…) can turn into a fun memory when you do it with someone you love! Why not try it out? Get with your spouse and decide on 1-3 projects to do on this date night. Then try and make it fun along the way! Be sure to use the conversation starters below to help get the fun going.
Conversation Starters:
- Are there any conversations we need to have that you’ve been putting off?
- Would you say I’m a procrastinator? Whether yes or no, how do you think that affects our relationship?
- Is there anything cluttering our relationship that needs to be cleaned out?
- What’s one thing we can do now to keep things from cluttering our relationship down the road?
- Why do you think it can be so hard to be organized/clean in life?
- Do you consider this a fun date night? Why or why not?
- If you could snap your fingers and have any project (house, work, or other) totally done, what would it be?
Date Idea 3: Paint Your Garden
Supplies:
- Paper
- Finger paint
- Fruits and veggies
Instructions:
Stop repressing that inner 7-year-old and grab some paint! This date night is all about getting creative (and a little messy)! Cut fruits and veggies into shapes to make “stamps” with the paint! For example, if you cut off the base of a bunch of celery, you can use it to make a “flower” shape. Or the top of broccoli can make a sponge-looking pattern. Get creative with it! And when you’re done, you bet that art should be displayed on the fridge!
Conversation Starters:
- If you could choose one art medium to be really talented with, what would you choose?
- What’s one hobby that you would want to pick up? Would you want to do it together?
- If you had to choose a hobby for me to try, what would it be?
- When’s the last time you felt creative?
- Would you say I have an inner child? Why or why not?
- What’s one thing you and I can do together to have fun more regularly?
- What are some ways we can do better about prioritizing play in our relationship?
Date Idea 4: Plan for Adventure
Supplies:
- A computer or phone
- Accountability!
Instructions:
Not really feeling spring yet? That’s okay! What if you planned for it instead? Whether you want to train for a 5k or master your macaroon recipe, you and your partner can put together a plan on how to get there! OR you could even plan for a spring vacation instead. Whatever you choose, talk it through and make it happen!
Conversation Starters:
- What’s one goal you want to accomplish in the next few months?
- In the next year?
- Would you say that I do a good job helping you with your goals?
- How can I be a better support to you when it comes to achieving your goals?
- What’s one way we can be more in tune with each other this spring and help keep each other accountable?
- Do you think I’ve set any unrealistic goals for myself or our relationship?
- Do you consider planning for the future fun? Why or why not?
Looking for more Date Night ideas? Check out all of our FREE date nights here!
10 Creative Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is a great time to get outside the heart-shaped chocolate box and celebrate love and romance in a BIG way! If you want a hand in making this day unique for your Valentine, you’ve come to the right place.
These 10 creative ideas will help you connect and play as you set this Valentine’s Day apart from any other date night.
- Alternate notes every hour. Be creative. Chat via text, video, over the phone, face to face, on a mirror, with chalk on the driveway. Use different categories for the notes: sexy, flirty, romantic, funny, silly, memorable, thankful, adoring, etc.
- Homemade Couple’s Selfie Photo Shoot. Jazz it up with the wardrobe. Have multiple wardrobe changes: nightwear, 70s wear, athletic wear, beachwear, warrior outfits, superheroes, etc.
- As a couple, shower someone with love who may not be feelin’ it right now. Write a letter, send flowers, spend time with them, tell stories, and listen to their stories. Your love for each other will grow as you share it with others.
- Re-enact some of your favorite romantic movie scenes. Think Titanic, The Notebook, Dirty Dancing, Jerry Maguire: “You complete me!” Check out YouTube’s Top 20 Most Rewatched Scenes in Romance Movies for ideas. You can even find the screenplay for some of your favorite movies. (Pics or it didn’t happen!)
- Stick romantic Post-it notes on candy that your special someone likes and hide them all over the place. Put them in drawers, cars, kitchen cabinets, bathrooms—anywhere your Valentine might go. They’ll be finding them for days. (Hershey Nuggets work great for chocolate-lovers.)
- Dinner and a Trip Around the World…Virtually. Create a themed meal. Decide “where” you want to go to celebrate, then enjoy the sights and sounds from all over the world without leaving your living room.
- Re-create a meaningful meal you’ve had, or create a new experience. For instance, remember what you ate on your first date? What would you want if you were in Italy? With the internet, you can look up any recipe and make it happen. Share the meal by candlelight or lay out a blanket and make it a picnic.
- Create anticipation. The day before, choose not to see each other. Use that time to create suspense for the next day. Leave notes in unexpected places. Send cryptic messages or deliver a message through a friend. Put a note on their windshield or surprise them with a video/audio message teaser. See how much excitement you can build for each other.
- Write a romantic love story about your relationship (fact or fiction). It may be full of fantasy against the backdrop of common interests like Game of Thrones or Star Wars. Write it, tell it, or record it—but have FUN with it!
- Pick from First Things First’s Do It Yourself (DIY) date nights for a fun, unexpected adventure that’s already planned out for you. It’s. So. Easy!
Though you love your significant other every day (DUH!), go the extra mile this Valentine’s Day and show your special someone how much you love, respect, and value them with these creative ways to celebrate. With just a tiny bit of prep, you can take your relationship up a notch and grow the love you feel for each other.
Related Resources:
- *Bonus: First Things First also offers Virtual Date Night Replays for more creative date nights to celebrate Valentine’s Day together.*
- 5 Dates Every Couple Must Do Before the Big Day
- Your Step-by-Step Guide to Healthy Relationships
- 5 Ways to Have More Fun in Your Life
How to Have More Sex in Marriage
I know it ain’t easy to keep things rolling in the bedroom.
Life happens. Marriage goes through seasons of busyness and stress. Not to mention—one of you may be “in the mood” or tired more often than the other. And finding time to have more sex may not be at the top of your list.
But healthy sexual intimacy in marriage is a good thing. It can enhance and stimulate other parts of your marriage, like emotional intimacy, too. And vice versa. (Related: 4 Reasons Why Sex Matters in Marriage)
But if there’s conflict, well… chances are, sparks aren’t flying in the B-E-D.
So then… how do you go about having more sex? Here are some thoughts:
1. Don’t make more sex the goal.
Wait, what?! Isn’t the title of this article How to Have More Sex? Yes, but here’s the deal.
Quantity and quality are not the same. And sexual intimacy doesn’t equal emotional intimacy, either.
Emotional intimacy involves understanding each other. Learning and growing together. Caring for and knowing each other well. When each spouse feels valued and understood, that closeness translates into a more satisfying sex life for you both. (Try these 6 exercises to strengthen emotional intimacy.)
Quality sex is where emotional and sexual intimacy meet. It means realizing what goes on in the day to day affects how much you enjoy your sexual experiences. Don’t underestimate the impact that considering your spouse’s needs in AND out of the bedroom can have on your sexual fulfillment.
So what is your goal? It’s being aware and working toward that emotional connectedness, which naturally leads to (you guessed it!) some pretty awesome sex. Who doesn’t want more of that?
(Up your Emotional Intimacy IQ here: What Is Emotional Intimacy in Marriage and Why Does It Matter?)
2. Don’t let your kids get in the way.
We’ve all been there: the heat is rising in the bedroom when KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK… “Mommy? Daddy? I can’t sleep. I’m thirsty.“
And just like that, the mood is shot.
No doubt, kids can unintentionally hinder sexual intimacy. Over the years, my wife and
I have established a lockdown procedure.
Lock door. ✅
Minimize the noise level. ✅. (There’s a closet door close that rattles if it’s not cracked. TMI? Well, now you know…)
If my wife thinks our activity could draw our kids’ attention, the deal’s off the table. Can you relate?
So, set up some lockdown rules.
- Install locks.
- Teach your kids that the bedroom is your room, and knocking is required.
- Establish “closing time” for both your bedroom and you; if it’s after closing time, don’t drop by. (Double Bonus: Kids learn respect and boundaries.)
If they’re old enough, you might bribe your kids to leave the house sometimes. Here’s a dollar; if you go play in the yard and don’t come in for half an hour, I’ll give you another.
Or, if you’re like a friend of mine, throw 99 pennies in the backyard and tell the kids they can’t come in the house until they find all 100 of them. ; )
3. Talk about sex (more).
Studies tell us that couples who talk about sex have more satisfying sex lives.
- What turns each of you on or off? I mean, what if you’re doing something you think your spouse LOVES, but they don’t (or the other way around)?
- That thing they did that drove you crazy? Tell them.
- Discuss your favorite positions or things you’d like to do that you’ve never done.
- Send a sexy text, write a racy Post-it note or leave a steamy voicemail to build anticipation for your next rendezvous.
These ideas can be beneficial if one of you is more like a crockpot that needs to simmer and get ready for sexy time. If one of you is more like the Instant Pot, building up the pressure beforehand will make the release that much sweeter when it’s time to get down to business.
4. Schedule it.
Seriously, get a room. Or find a sitter. Have some “alone” time that works for both of you.
- Getting the kids to bed is a great incentive if you know prime time comes afterward.
- Are your kids late sleepers? Just might be worth it to be the early bird.
- Kids in school? You won’t have to worry about interruptions or those lockdown procedures if you take a long lunch here and there… just sayin’.
5. Get busy with dates.
Couples who have regular date nights report greater happiness. It’s true!
- Use what you learned from your sex talks to creatively plan something new and exciting for each other. Finding ways to please each other outside of the bedroom can help you score inside the bedroom.
- Invest in conversation and activities that help you connect more deeply.
- Plan it or be spontaneous! Dating your spouse doesn’t have to be expensive, but NOT dating your spouse can cost you some of the closeness you crave. (These date nights can make it easier!)
Doing these things will not only improve the quality of sex you have—it also sets you up for more frequent romps. You’ll be well on your way to more (and better) sex.
So what are you waiting for? Don’t you have some lockdown procedures to take care of?
More Resources:
Did you know that research shows the happiest couples have 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction? When you think about your daily life with your honey, is this true for you? Well one great way to cash in on those positive interactions is through appreciation! This date night will guide you through how to show appreciation to your love, but also how to keep that habit going throughout the year!
Supplies:
- Sticky notes or small pieces of paper
- Two pens
- A bandana
- A timer (phone works fine)
- Headphones & a device to play music (optional)
The Main Idea:
Appreciation is a huge part of every relationship. But let’s be real, when you’re in the day-in and day-out of everyday life, it can be hard to remember to say “thank you” or “I love it when you…”. But that’s what this date night is for!
The goal is to create a chain reaction of appreciation that will last all year long (and more!). Let’s get started!
- First, each person grab a stack of sticky notes or a pile of about 10-15 pieces of paper.
- Next, without your partner seeing, write one way you are thankful for and/or appreciate your partner on each of the pieces of paper. (Check out the questions below if you get stuck!)
- Now, blindfold one person with the bandana and set a timer for 5 minutes. The non-blindfolded person will then spend those five minutes hiding all of their notes in places that their partner will find them either as they go through their daily routine or as the year goes by (toiletry bag, inside their pillowcase, in the box/bag of their favorite snack, tucked in their swimsuit or winter gloves, etc.)
- Maybe play some music through headphones for the blindfolded spouse so they don’t get any hints of where they might be!
- Once all the notes are hidden, switch roles. Spend another 5 minutes hiding the other partner’s notes!
- When you’re done, spend some time talking through the questions below.
Now here’s the kicker with this appreciation date night. When you find a note that your partner left for you, you have to write and hide one for them to find! That way, the appreciation can keep going on and on forever, if you let it!
Questions If You Get Stuck:
- What’s my favorite thing about my partner?
- What’s one thing my partner does that makes me smile?
- Has there been something they’ve done today that I haven’t thanked them for?
- Is there a responsibility my partner has taken on that I haven’t thanked them for?
- What’s one way my partner is great at recognizing my needs/wants?
- One thing I appreciate most about my partner is…
- One thing my partner does that often goes unnoticed is…
Questions For Conversation After Notes Are Hidden:
- Was it easy or hard for you to come up with things to put on the notes?
- Do you think we currently do a good job of showing appreciation for each other?
- Is there anything specific that you don’t feel appreciated about?
- What’s one thing we can do to make appreciation more of a habit in our relationship?
- Do you think we have a good balance of positive interactions for every negative interaction? (Reference the research in the intro of this date night if needed!)
- Are there currently any roadblocks to showing appreciation to each other?
- Have I ever made you feel unappreciated? How so?
- What’s one thing I can do to show that I appreciate you?
- Often, when responsibilities are expected of each other, they happen without appreciation. Would saying “thank you” for our individual responsibilities (mowing the lawn, feeding the pets, cleaning the bathrooms, managing the finances, etc.) make you feel more connected in our relationship? Why or why not?
Looking for more at-home date night ideas? Check ’em out here!
