Tag Archive for: Date night

Are you and your honey a little competitive?  Or… maybe more than a little? This DIY, at-home date night will be a great one for you! It’s all about connecting with your love while keeping a hint of competition between the two of you. Check it out below!

Supplies:

  • Two paper bags
  • A semi-full to full pantry/refrigerator
  • An hour or two

Directions:

  • Each person grabs a paper bag.
  • Set a timer for 15 minutes.
  • Spend 15 minutes gathering supplies for your partner to use.
  • At the end of the 15 minutes, trade bags.
  • Set another time for 45 minutes.
  • Next, check out your ingredients in your bag! Your job is to cook a meal for your partner using the ingredients in your bag.
  • Each person will get ONE additional ingredient of their choice (spices not included!)

Questions to ask while eating your surprise meal:

  • What is your favorite memory of us?
  • What’s your least favorite memory of us?
  • How would your life be different without me in it?
  • What food reminds you of me?
  • When did you first know that you liked me?
  • What would be the perfect retirement to you?
  • How often should we make a date night happen?
  • If you had to change your career path, what would you do?
  • Where would you travel to if price didn’t matter?
  • What was the happiest you’ve ever felt?

Want more at-home date nights? Check them all out here!

If you’re getting tired of your date nights looking like take-out and a movie on your couch, this DIY date night might be just for you! It’s all about luck, laughter, and serving your partner. This dinner date will be one to remember! Although the date night is simple, the instructions might get a little complicated. Read carefully!

Supplies:

  • A dinner consisting of 8 pieces (Example: drink, napkin, fork, spoon, knife, appetizer, main course, dessert)
  • Five pieces of paper
  • Two pens

Directions:

  1. Take a moment and decide together what each of the 8 pieces of your meal will be. Write it out on a piece of paper for you both to see.
  2. Prepare each piece of your meal and set it to the side, all ready to go.
  3. Each spouse takes one piece of paper. At the top, write your name and “Meal Key.”
  4. Write a list with a blank next to each number as follows: 1. Black, 2. Red, 3. Orange, 4. Yellow, 5. Green, 6. Blue, 7. Indigo, 8. Violet
  5. Next, without your spouse seeing, fill in each line of your key randomly with the 8 dinner pieces, as you defined them earlier.
  6. Now take your second piece of paper. At the top, write your name and “Meal Choices.”
  7. Make a numbered list 1-8. Now, randomly write in one of the previous color options, one on each line. (Black, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet – in random order)
  8. Give your Meal Choices paper to your partner.
  9. Now, use your spouse’s Meal Choices and your own Meal Key to serve your spouse with their choices. The first course will be numbers 1-3, second 4-6, and third 7-8. You might end up with a knife, fork, and spoon for a course – but that’s part of the fun!
  10. Choose together if you get to keep each of the items per course or if they are taken away before the next course.
  11. Throughout your meal, use the questions below to spark conversation and grow closer together!

Questions To Ask During Your Meal:

  • Was this date night fun or stressful for you? Why?
  • Would you say that you like to be in control? Would you say I like to be in control?
  • Do you think I have a healthy response when things are out of my control?
  • How can I help you when things feel out of control?
  • What’s one thing you want to accomplish in the next month? Year? 5 years?
  • How can I help you accomplish those things?
  • Have you seen any growth in me over the last 7 months?
  • How has our relationship changed since the start of COVID?
  • What’s been the hardest part of our relationship so far?
  • What’s been the easiest part of our relationship so far?

With Halloween right around the corner, it’s time for a spooky season date night! Even if you’re not super into scary stories or haunted houses, these date night ideas can bring you and your honey closer. Check out these date night ideas—and a conversation guide as you go—below!

Questions to Ask On Your Date Night:

  • What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen or experienced?
  • Have you ever felt like you could sense a spirit nearby?
  • Do you have any personal ghost stories?
  • What’s your favorite part of Halloween?
  • If you had to pick living next door to a haunted house or camping in a cemetery once a month, which would you choose?
  • Should we start any new Halloween traditions? Or get rid of any we’ve made already?
  • Would you rather only ever be able to wear orange or always have to include skulls as a part of your outfit in some way?

Spooky Season Date Night Ideas:

Scary Movie:

It’s as simple as it sounds! Pick a scary movie—it can be a classic like Frankenstein or something neither of you has seen before—and cuddle up on the couch together! Be sure to have some snacks on hand!

Want to take it to the next level? Grab a laptop and take this movie to a spooky location. A park with a cemetery, an abandoned building, your unfinished basement, or a forest close by are all great locations to get spooked!

Make A Haunted House Together:

Who says decorating cookie houses has to wait two more months?! You can either make your own using a sturdy cookie cut into simple shapes (and icing and decorations!) or buy a kit like this one!

Late Night Picnic:

Nothing says spooky like having a picnic in the dark! And if you’re really brave, take your picnic to the nearest cemetery (be respectful—know your boundaries), abandoned building, or nearby woods!

Murder Mysteries Mayhem:

There are so many podcasts, YouTube channels, and books all about murder mysteries! Pick one out together, listen/watch/read it, and see who can guess who-done-it using any evidence they can find! This date night wouldn’t be complete without some great snacks, too!

Spooky Season with Strangers:

This one might take a little more guts than the rest of them! For this date night, dress up in a scary Halloween costume and go out on the town. Be sure you wear a mask, too! If you don’t have some spooky costumes at home, check out your local thrift store and see if you can help each other build a costume together!

Looking for more great date nights? Check out all our DIY and Live Date Nights here!

3 Easy Ways to Make Your Marriage More Fun

The romance doesn’t need to go down as the anniversaries go up.

What sounds better than a fun, fulfilling marriage? Nothing!!

If you’re married, you know keeping things interesting takes a little effort, but what things in life worth having don’t? You’ve signed up for a lifelong pursuit of your spouse and to fall in love with them over and over again. Having fun together helps naturally draw you closer and rekindle the flame.

1. Add elements of surprise!

  • Text your spouse something spicy during the workday. Make it out of the blue and with no business attached, (aka, no talk about what’s for dinner or what needs to get done) just some good flirtatious banter.
  • Surprise your spouse by wearing their favorite outfit or favorite outfit under your outfit (if you catch my drift) and suggest an impromptu date night.
  • Send them something at work—could be something as small as a coffee or as grandiose as an edible arrangement.
  • Pick something up for them while you’re out running errands just because.

2. Play together!

  • Play is essential to having fun in marriage. There are not only relationship benefits to playing together but health benefits! The National Institute for Play (NIP) believes (and has the research to back it up) that play can dramatically transform our personal health and our relationships. It can be board games, video games, a puzzle, a Minute To Win It challenge, Dominos, cards, tag around the house, strip poker, or whatever your favorite way to spark some healthy competition is.

Play generates optimism, novelty makes perseverance fun and leads to mastery. Additionally, it gives your immune system a bounce, fosters empathy, and promotes a sense of belonging and community. Each of these by-products is an index of personal health, and their shortage predicts impending health problems and personal fragility.

3. Don’t shy away from passion!

  • Light the candles, turn on some music, turn down the bed or change up the location, and enjoy the intimacy. Take time to be curious about your spouse, compliment them, cuddle up close, and turn off the phones. Alone time can be so beneficial and adventurous. It can reignite the passion and give you lovely serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin boosts (aka, the happy chemicals in your brain).

BONUS: Free date nights!

  • Surely you’ve heard it before, so you’ll hear it again: Date your spouse. The romance doesn’t need to go down as the anniversaries go up. Try new places, carve out quality time, cultivate intimacy, and enjoy being one on one. There are tons of date night ideas, free virtual date nights, and date night DIYs right here on our site free to you!

It’s easy to have fun in your marriage when you realize having fun means creating fun! Enjoy laughing together, kissing one another, and everything in between. 

Some more blogs you may be interested in:

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

We’re Engaged. How Do We Make Sure Our Marriage is Fun?

Fun doesn't always just happen, but you can make it happen!

You’re getting ready to marry the love of your life, and you’ve been reading card after card wishing you a marriage full of love and adventure. With that comes the hope of fulfillment in each other and the desire to have fun, because who wants a boring marriage?! No one…

Here are 3 easy things you can put into place NOW to keep the fun in your marriage relationship forever:

1. Add elements of surprise when you’re married!

  • Text your spouse something spicy during the workday. Make it out of the blue and with no business attached, (aka no talk about what’s for dinner or what needs to get done) just some good flirtatious banter.
  • Surprise your spouse by wearing their favorite outfit and suggest an impromptu date night.
  • Send them something at work—could be something as small as a coffee or and grandiose as an edible arrangement.
  • Pick something up for them while you’re out running errands, just because.

2. Play together!

  • Play is essential to having fun in marriage. There are not only relationship benefits to playing together, but health benefits, too! The National Institute for Play (NIP) believes (and has research to back it up) that play can dramatically transform our personal health and our relationships. It can be board games, video games, a puzzle, Minute To Win It challenges, Dominos, cards, or whatever your favorite way to spark some healthy competition is.

Play generates optimism, novelty, makes perseverance fun, and leads to growth. Bonus feature: it gives the immune system a bounce, fosters empathy, and promotes a sense of belonging and community. 

3. Don’t shy away from romance!

  • Light the candles, turn on some music, and enjoy cultivating intimacy. You have lots to look forward to as you step into married life together. Take the time to be curious about your spouse, compliment them, cuddle up close, and tune in to each other. Alone time can be so beneficial and continually draw you closer to each other. 

BONUS: Free date nights for a more fun marriage!

  • Surely you’ve heard it before, so you’ll hear it again: Date your spouse. The romance doesn’t need to go down as the anniversaries go up. Try new places, carve out quality time, cultivate intimacy, and enjoy being one on one. There are tons of date night ideas, free virtual date nights, and date night DIYs right here on our site—free to you!

It’s easy to have fun in your marriage when you embrace that to have fun means to create fun! Enjoy laughing together, kissing one another, and everything in between. ; )

Some more blogs you may be interested in:

8 Ways To Care for Your Spouse’s Mental Health

Give them hope through your encouragement.

Full transparency here: I’ve dealt with feelings of depression and anxiety through much of my adulthood. In fact, I brought it right with me into my marriage. Through it all, my wife has been a solid rock of support and encouragement for me and my mental health during those difficult times. And looking back, I’ve been able to catch a glimpse of what she was feeling for me: 

I’m worried for his well-being. I know he isn’t himself. His heart is hurting. His mind is swarming. He’s just on edge all… the… time. There’s no life in his voice. He just has a sense of hopelessness, tension, defeat. And I just want him to be happy again so we can enjoy our life together like we once did. 

Does any of this sound familiar?  

Maybe you’ve had the same thoughts about your spouse. It’s difficult to see the person you love the most experiencing challenges like grief, sadness, anxiety, and stress. It impacts not only your spouse but also your marriage. And you want to help, but maybe you just don’t know how. 

Fortunately, there is hope. How can you show care and support for your spouse’s mental health? Here are eight ways: 

1. Remind them you are there.

One of the worst feelings someone can have who is experiencing emotional difficulties is feeling like they are alone in their predicament. The continual reminder that you are there for them, you’re there to listen, and you are not there to judge or think less of them because of what they’re going through means the world

2. Encourage your spouse with The Big 3: Exercise, Diet, and Sleep.

These are the three best things we can do to help ourselves when our mental health is under attack. They are the “hubs” of self-care. Physical activity, especially cardio, and clean eating have been shown to improve emotional health. And I can’t tell you enough just how important sleep is to fight off stress, anxiety, and depression. Most people need 8-9 hours of sleep each night, and each one of those hours is precious to care for yourself. Encourage your spouse to maintain The Big 3 and join them in the mission to work out, eat clean, and sleep well. 

3. Do everyday activities together.

When I’ve felt particularly out of sorts, my wonderful wife would invite me to go on an errand with her or to do something seemingly mundane with her around the house. The sheer act of being together and focusing on some activity — picking up the groceries, folding the laundry (lots of bonding happens over folding fitted sheets), getting the car washed (for an added bonus, jamming out to Led Zeppelin as your car shuffles through the automatic wash, an instant feel-good) — can help pull your spouse out of a funk. 

4. Coach your spouse to choose their “Something to Look Forward to.”

Long ago, a friend of mine gave me this life-changing, simple piece of advice, and my wife has encouraged me with it: every week, choose that one thing that you’re going to look forward to on the weekend (or whatever the “end of the week” looks like for your spouse). It can be anything enjoyable: a hike, watching the football game, ordering pizza, eating that piece of cake in the fridge, a fishing trip, working in the yard, smoking some ribs, visiting your favorite fast food place. I’ve found that whatever setbacks I experience through the week, sometimes my “Something to Look Forward to” is what helps me to keep taking each step forward. Help your spouse find their “Something to Look Forward to” each week. 

5. Experience some fresh air together.

There’s something about being outside in the open air and the warm sunlight that takes the edge off strong emotions. Invite your spouse to share some outdoor time, whether it’s hiking in the woods or sitting on the front porch to watch the sunset. You certainly don’t have to be an “outdoor person” to gain the benefits that clean air and the vitamin D from sunlight provides (which, by the way, has been shown to reduce depression and boost weight loss). 

6. Be physically intimate with each other.

Physical touch, whether it’s sexual or non-sexual touch, like holding hugs or hand-holding, has been shown to help improve mental and emotional health, not to mention increase closeness and connection with each other. Healthy physical touch from someone who cares (that is, you) causes those feel-good chemicals to squirt through the brain, defending against feelings of sadness and anxiety. And don’t laugh, but scheduled sex is where it’s at. Hear me out. If your spouse is someone who, say, really enjoys sex, more than likely it’s a stress-reliever for them. When the two of you schedule your lovemaking, you give them something they can count on to simmer down the emotions while you, well, heat things up. 

7. Encourage time with friends and family.

It’s easy for someone weighed down with heavy feelings to isolate themselves. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy to reach out to others. When I’ve felt like this, my wife would sometimes say something like, “Why don’t you call up your friend Brian and see if he wants to watch the football game?” Or, “Why not go over to your mom’s house and take her some cookies” Being with others helps a heavy heart. And sometimes a person just needs a shot of encouragement to make that connection. Encourage time with someone they are close to when the mood is down. 

8. Go on dates.

This is arguably the most important item on the list. Try to have a weekly date together. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive or even outside the house. As a matter of fact, take some of what’s above and make it a date: the “Something to Look Forward to,” time spent outdoors, ordering a pizza in, a walk around the neighborhood, a Netflix movie, or maybe even scheduled intimacy. The point is to have a meaningful time together. And remember: because your spouse is dealing with heavy emotions, you may have to be the one to prompt these dates. 

If you observe that your spouse’s mental health doesn’t change for the better or gets worse, encourage them to visit a professional counselor. Offer to go with them if they are nervous or uncertain. Try to help them understand that talking to a counselor doesn’t mean they are “broken” or something “is wrong with them.” They are simply there to talk through some of the difficult feelings they’re experiencing. 

One more thing: the battle to manage strong emotions like anxiety, sadness, or stress is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t expect instant improvements with a walk in the woods or a night out on the town. 

And let’s not ignore the fact that your spouse’s struggles with mental health are hard on you as well; you feel the exhaustion and stress they feel. Be sure you are taking care of yourself. Get plenty of rest and exercise, and make sure you have a healthy support system you can turn to. Practice good self-care. 

You are your spouse’s biggest support. And you have the power to instill a sense of hope in them with your love and encouragement. Choose at least one of the strategies above to do this week. Assure your spouse you are there for them no matter what. Go on a date. Share a walk outside. Whatever it is, let them know you are right there beside them. Believe me: it will mean the world to them. 

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

Image from Unsplash.com

It’s that time of year! The leaves are changing colors and falling. There’s a cool breeze in the air. Pumpkin spice is the flavor of the season. We’ve moved past the laid-back summer and now it’s FALL, the season of football, fun… and romance.

Here are several romantic fall fun date ideas that bring out the best in the season and in your relationship!

(Be aware that there may be limited availability due to social distancing constraints. Have fun, but be safe!)

  1. Go to a pumpkin patch. Select a pumpkin. Take it home and carve it.
  2. Bake seasonal goodies (pies, cakes, cookies) together.
  3. Go antique shopping.
  4. Take a carriage ride.
  5. Go to a drive-in movie.
  6. Listen to your favorite old songs and dance around your home.
  7. Take a scenic walk.
  8. Go camping.
  9. Go apple picking in an orchard.
  10. Take a scenic train ride.
  11. Take a scenic drive to see fall foliage.
  12. Go to a Fall Festival.
  13. Go for a hike.
  14. Watch a scary movie.
  15. Go for a bike ride.
  16. Host a game night with friends and family.
  17. Take a day trip.
  18. Have a picnic either in a park or your backyard.
  19. Go for a wine or cider tasting.
  20. Go horseback riding.
  21. Stargaze and see who can find the most constellations.
  22. Rake the leaves, like adults. Jump in the leaves, like kids.
  23. Sit in front of a fire and read a book out loud together. 
  24. Go to a high school football game.
  25. Movie marathon/binge watch your favorite TV series.
  26. Go on a local history tour.
  27. Take a painting class.
  28. Have a bonfire in your backyard and make S’mores.
  29. Go on a fall getaway weekend.
  30. Take part in a First Things First Virtual Date Night!

Conversation Starters:

Check out this list of 200 questions for couples to get the conversation started.

1. What makes you the happiest?

2. What’s worse? The barista getting your order wrong? Or finding a motorcycle in a parking spot you thought was empty?

3. What food best describes your personality?

4. What are your five most important personal values?

5. What kind of physical touch best says “I love you” to you?

6. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

7. Who is the person, currently alive, that you most want to meet right now?

8. What is your favorite type of romantic gesture?

9. What crazy thing do you want to try someday?

10. What’s one thing I can do to improve our relationship?

Now is the perfect time to get adventurous by exploring your community and creating quality time with each other. Play and fun builds intimacy in your relationship. 

Now, go have some romantic FALL FUN as you try out these date ideas!

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6 Exercises to Strengthen Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage

Have a more fulfilling marriage by doing these things.

When your relationship has a high level of emotional intimacy, you share your feelings, needs, fears, successes, and failures knowing you will continue to be loved and cared for by your partner.

Building strong intimacy in your marriage can give your marriage the satisfying fulfillment you desire. 

Here are 6 exercises to strengthen emotional intimacy in your marriage:

1. Do something new and engaging together. 

  • Prepare new, exotic meals together from beginning to end. Search recipes for some cuisine the two of you would like to try. Together, buy the groceries, prepare the meal, and of course, eat together. 
  • Learn a new language together. Focus on learning relationship-specific words that will help you express appreciation, be affectionate, and flirt.
  • Create a marriage bucket list and then get started on completing your list.

Research shows that doing new activities can reignite the passion in your relationship. They help the two of you experience challenges, successes, and failures together. You’re able to see each other’s authentic self without the pressure of being perfect. 

2. Show affection. 

  • Each day, give each other a deep, passionate kiss for at least 20 seconds. Your body will release chemicals in your brain helping you to increase the connection between you. (We aren’t responsible for whatever happens next.😉 )
  • Each day, give each other a great big hug for a minimum of 20 seconds. This has a similar effect of increasing the bond and connectedness. Just good, old-fashioned affection.
  • Cuddle. Yes, that simple. Cuddle and rest in each other’s presence.

3. Do marriage enrichment together. 

All are good ways you can invest in your marriage to help you share, grow closer to each other and strengthen emotional intimacy.

4. Make time to talk.

  • Practice focused, uninterrupted talking and listening. Take 15-30 minutes each day to share whatever is on your heart. Your one goal is to make sure that each of you feels heard and understood. Some days the conversation may be a rundown of the day. Other days you may each reveal deeper levels of transparency and vulnerability. 
  • Be curious. Ask each other questions. Be vulnerable and transparent as you share your thoughts. Increase your intimacy with these 200 conversation starters for couples
  • Set aside regular time to connect. Dr. Linda Duncan, a marriage researcher and Professor Emeritus at Tarleton State University, shares that couples can build intimacy by intentionally connecting at four distinct points throughout their day: 1. When you wake up. 2. Before you depart for the day. 3. When you reconnect after work/school. 4. As you go to bed. 

How you connect at each of these four moments can have a tremendous impact on the intimacy within your relationship. “Connecting” can be as simple as getting your spouse a cup of coffee and saying “Good morning,” giving them a kiss goodbye, and saying “I love you,” giving them a hug when they get home, and some pillow talk before saying “goodnight.”

5. Celebrate your togetherness.

  • Stroll down memory lane, revisit memorable date nights, or look at pictures and videos while reminiscing on the experiences you’ve shared. 
  • Take 15 minutes to exchange genuine compliments or express appreciation for each other.

6. Make the most of pillow talk.

  • Eliminate the tech devices and potential distractions. Invest that time into one another. 
  • Give kids a bedtime or at least a quiet time when they are in their rooms for the night leading up to bedtime.
  • Share with each other how they can make you feel safe, cherished, and valued.
  • Talk about what arouses each of you.

Each of these 6 exercises on their own may not strengthen your emotional intimacy. However, if you do these with a heart of gratitude and appreciation toward your partner and you make them a habit, you’ll begin to feel closer and more connected. You’ll find yourself sharing more of yourself and getting to know your partner more fully. 

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***