In need of a date night but aren’t sure what to do? Skip sitting on the couch together staring at your phones and make some memories instead! Just CHILL is a DIY date night for those moments that you just don’t feel like doing anything. It’ll get you relaxed, revived, and reconnected!
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/woman-holding-man-s-hand-3585811.jpg13672048Caroline Henryhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2020-04-22 15:56:442022-06-22 13:23:44DIY Date Night: Just CHILL
Need a date night but aren’t sure what to do? Time For A Throwback is a great way to relive some of those awesome childhood moments while enjoying quality time with your spouse!
Supplies:
All your favorites from childhood (Pick one age or pick one from each age!)
Favorite food (Bring out all those boxes of mac n’ cheese!)
A favorite dessert (We’re looking at you, pudding cups!)
Favorite game or thing to do (Hopscotch totally counts!)
Favorite TV show or movie
BONUS POINTS:
Favorite style to wear
Favorite makeup/hairstyle
Instructions:
Each spouse chooses 2 things from the list of favorites to bring for the date night. Bonus points if you dress up like you used to as well!
Spend the evening talking about all your favorites from when you were young and why they were your favorite!
Why It Matters:
Sure, being an adult is great, and being mature has its place. But sometimes, it’s okay to be goofy, act like a kid again, and enjoy life’s simple pleasures (like coloring books and action figures)! Letting a little loose with your love is a great way to de-stress, enjoy some time together, and sit for a moment without pressing responsibilities or pressures. Plus, your spouse may learn a little more about you by the time the date night is over!
Take It A Little Deeper:
Here are some questions you can ask each other to dig a little deeper and make your connection even stronger!
How have you seen my childhood affect how I am now? Has it affected our relationship?
What are some ways we can build moments into our relationship that are free of responsibilities and pressures?
How can I help you remember to loosen up a little bit sometimes?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/lucas-lenzi-4-VgrP9SgQw-unsplash.jpg25312633Caroline Henryhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2020-04-21 14:59:182022-06-22 13:25:16DIY Date Night: Time for A Throwback
In need of a date night but aren’t sure what to do? Skip the mediocre dinner and movie you’ll fall asleep watching and make some memories instead! What’s In The Bowl is a classic, hysterical game for people of all ages. It requires minimal preparation and supplies, and you and your spouse will have a blast doing it for a date night!
Supplies:
A bowl
A blindfold
Headphones or earplugs (optional)
Random household items
Instructions:
Play a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who has to be blindfolded first.
Whoever loses, put on the blindfold! For an extra challenge, put on headphones and listen to loud music or put in earplugs.
Whoever won Rock, Paper, Scissors, you now get to choose something (or some things) to put in the bowl. Here are some examples to get the creativity goin’:
Shaving cream and dried beans
Mushed banana
Aluminum foil covered in petroleum jelly
Dried pasta in yogurt
A band-aid covered in baby powder
You get the idea…
After the winner has their item(s) selected, place them in the bowl.
The blindfolded person then has to guess what’s in the bowl!
Once they guess correctly (or give up), switch roles.
Go for a total of three rounds, so that each person guesses/chooses 3 times!
Here’s The Point:
Have you ever felt aluminum foil covered in petroleum jelly while you’re blindfolded? Yeah, this was probably a first for everyone. When we interact with something unfamiliar, our minds tend to try and find a spot for it. And sometimes, petroleum jelly might all of the sudden feel really, really gross and unfamiliar. But, when you take the blindfold off and see it for what it actually is, it all makes sense again!
The same thing happens in our relationships. If one person explains something or does something that doesn’t make sense to us, our minds will make assumptions and try and fit it into a familiarly shaped box. But if we don’t take off the blindfold of our own opinions and assumptions, we’ll never fully understand what they’re trying to communicate.
Take It To The Next Level:
Here are some questions you can ask each other to dig a little deeper and make your connection even stronger!
In what ways have you seen me leave my “blindfold” on to the things you say/do?
How can I help you remember to take your “blindfold” off?
What’s one thing we can do regularly to make sure we’re on the same page?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/photo-of-woman-hugging-man-3692760-1.jpg20481365Caroline Henryhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2020-04-20 16:53:232022-06-22 13:25:41DIY Date Night: What’s In The Bowl?
Do you remember the date of your wedding anniversary? If you didn’t cheat and look at the engraved date on your wedding band, give yourself some points.
How many years have you been married? If you had to think to figure it out, take away some points.
How did you celebrate your last anniversary? Did you remember without having to ask your spouse what you did?
If the answer is yes, give yourself a few more points. Add some points to your total if you did something fun as a couple.
If you let it slide by with no real celebration because you didn’t have time or were too tired, take away a few points.
If you completely forgot your wedding anniversary, you just lost ALL your points.
Couples marry and even a year or two into their marriage they are still planning crazy fun adventures to celebrate their love. But after a few years, things begin to settle down. Children come along and creativity often flies out the window. Who has time or even feels like planning to celebrate a silly anniversary?
We do a great job of celebrating birthdays and holidays, but lots of couples let their wedding anniversary slide by. Think about it – how many wedding anniversaries do you recall celebrating?
Birthdays and holidays are certainly things to celebrate. But, considering how much time, effort and energy it takes to make a marriage really hum, wedding anniversaries are cause for celebration. If your marriage faced exceptional challenges during the year, some anniversaries might deserve a huge celebration to acknowledge making it through the tough times.
When life is coming at you full speed ahead, you can easily take your marriage for granted. But doing this over the years is like watching a sinkhole form. Erosion is taking place underneath the surface. And while there may be a few signs things aren’t right, it may not appear to be anything major until the whole thing caves in and people are shocked.
Don’t take your marriage for granted. It’s up to both people in the marriage to intentionally make every anniversary something you won’t forget. Every time you make it another year, celebrate your anniversary and what you have. Dream about your future together.
Whether your anniversary is this weekend or nine months from now, take the time to make it special. It doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. Re-create your first date, plan a romantic evening, write a love letter to your spouse or plan a surprise getaway. Do married well!
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
David and Claudia Arp believe that fun in marriage is serious business. They have written several books on marriage together, including the 10 Great Dates series, and they love helping couples jazz up their marriage.
“In our 30-plus years of marriage, we have learned important things like, if you don’t say what is on your mind when it is on your mind, it may not be there later,” says Claudia. “We have also learned that it is critical for people to be intentional about having fun in their marriage. Most of us lead such busy, stressful lives that many times there is very little left over for the marriage, especially when it comes to anything fun. When the fun dies in a relationship, it is hard to keep the marriage alive.”
Through the years, the Arps have made it a point to enjoy each other’s company and to have fun.
One time when they got lost, instead of getting irritated with each other, they realized they were lost together. The kids weren’t with them, so they decided to make it into a 30-minute get lost date.
“We believe it is important to model a healthy relationship for your children,” says David. “Research has shown that the level of a couple’s friendship is a determining factor in whether their marriage will go the distance. In order to keep a friendship alive, you have to nurture it.”
The Arps have many good ideas to help grow the friendship in marriage, including this fun assignment: Kiss for 10 seconds in the morning before leaving for work with your eyes wide open. When you return home in the evening, do the same thing.
The key is to understand that you can turn any situation into a date, even a frustrating one. For example, you can go on a flu shot date. Or, if you find yourself in an airport with an extended layover, go to a gate where a plane is getting ready to take off. Pretend you are saying goodbye to each other. Once the plane leaves, move on to another gate and start all over again. You can do this for as long as your layover allows.
If your marriage could use some jazzing up with a heaping helping of fun, these great dates can build a stronger friendship into your marriage.
Take a trip down memory lane. Remembering your past can energize your relationship for the future.
Celebrate your differences. Reclaim that unity and diversity you felt before you married. List ways you are alike and ways you are different. For all the ways you are alike, figure out how to compensate for those areas. For all the ways you are different, determine how you can make sure the differences complement your marriage relationship instead of creating friction.
Make a date to talk about “us.” Lots of couples talk over each other. They talk about the kids, work, community service, etc. On this date, the Arps encourage couples to talk about “you.” Talk about positive things, your hopes and dreams, what you want your marriage to look like.
Have an encouragement date. Verbalize all those things you keep in your head, like when you think he looks really good, but you forget to tell him or when she cooks a great dinner, you think about how great everything tastes, but you never say anything.
“A number of years ago, we moved our office and David gave in to using an answering machine,” Claudia says. “The past few days had been rough so I decided to leave a message of encouragement for David on the new answering machine telling him I was really looking forward to seeing him at home and suggested some activities we could do.
“What I didn’t know is that David had some friends at the office who ended up helping him install the answering machine.
“Then they all went out to lunch. When they returned, one of his friends noticed he had a message. David hit play and the whole group proceeded to listen to my message. When it finished, the friends turned to David and wanted to know who that woman was leaving that kind of message on his machine. My red-faced husband tried to convince them it really was his wife. Needless to say, we have had more than a few good laughs over that one!”
Jazzing your marriage up is serious business! To find out more ways to create fun and adventure in your marriage, take look around our website.
Looking for more resources? Watch this episode of JulieB TV for an in-depth look on this topic!
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/sept-commercial-EnrusDZBZBc-unsplash.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002020-11-03 14:24:13Fun Ways to Jazz Up Your Marriage
When was the last time you and your mate played together? Seriously… can you remember the last time you did something crazy fun together?
In far too many marriages, couples throw play out the window and replace it with serious adult responsibilities like careers, raising children, taking care of elderly parents, household chores and community commitments.
The University of Denver’s Center for Marital and Family Studies research finds that the amount of fun couples have together is the strongest factor in understanding overall marital happiness.
The more you invest in fun, friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will be over time. The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high and significant.
TAKE THE CHALLENGE!
For the next four weeks, intentionally set aside time every other day to do something fun together. It doesn’t have to be something that will take hours; it could be a 30-minute activity. Watching television together or sitting next to each other while online does not count as play.
In an informal survey, couples say they do these things:
Play games like Scrabble, Dominoes, Rook, Wii, Uno, Quiddler, Frisbee or Catchphrase.
Take a walk or run together.
Play a practical joke on each other.
Cook together, try new recipes and enjoy a great meal together.
List activities for each letter of the alphabet that cost less than $10, then work your way through the list.
Work a jigsaw puzzle.
Do an activity together like horseback riding, bowling, fishing or canoeing.
Play isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. So don’t just sit around reminiscing about how playful and adventurous you used to be or lamenting the fact that you never do anything fun anymore. Take the challenge and remember—playful people are a lot of fun to be around!
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Couples-That-Play-Together-Web-Image-scaled.jpg6302048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002022-08-24 09:29:40Couples Who Play Together
Is date night dead? Date night may need some serious resuscitation. Redbook magazine found that 45 percent of couples rarely have date nights, while only 18 percent said they go out once a month.
This is sad news, since marriage experts say you can keep your marriage strong, healthy and adventuresome by spending regular time together doing something you both enjoy. Couples who intentionally spend time together often marvel at the positive impact it has on their marriage and family.
An astonishing 80 percent of marriages crumble, but it’s not because of something huge. It’s because they say they have become disconnected.
According to The Date Night Opportunity, a report by the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project, couples who devote time specifically to one another at least once a week are way more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates.
How can a simple date actually help a marriage?
Researchers say date nights provide opportunities to talk that may help couples deepen their understanding of one another and the relationship. Couples who engage in new activities that are fun, active or otherwise arousing — from hiking to dancing to travel to card games — enjoy higher levels of relationship quality. They also counteract the tendency to take each other for granted. Regular date nights may especially benefit couples who do more than the old standby of dinner and a movie.
Date nights may also:
Strengthen or rekindle that romantic spark in order to sustain the fires of love.
Strengthen a couple’s sense of commitment to one another. Partners who put each other first, steer clear of other romantic opportunities and cultivate a strong sense of “we-ness” or togetherness are happier than less-committed couples.
Relieve stress. They allow a couple to enjoy time away from the pressing concerns of their ordinary life.
Give couples an opportunity to support one another emotionally in trying times.
The report found that couples who spend time together at least weekly:
Are about three times more likely to say they are “very happy” in their marriages;
Report higher levels of communication and commitment;
Express higher satisfaction with their sexual relationship than couples who spend less couple time together.
If you haven’t been planning date nights, maybe you could try it out for the next six weeks. Consider setting aside an hour or two each week for a little adventure. If you don’t have a clue where to start or just need some fresh ideas, here are some tips.
Agree not to talk about the kids, your job or the in-laws. You don’t have to spend a ton of money – just play together! At the end of the six weeks, discuss any changes you have experienced in your relationship.
“Couple time” can make a serious difference in your relationship. Try it and see for yourself.
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/tim-foster-hRZ5s-IPCWE-unsplash.jpg14332150Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-03-13 00:00:002020-11-12 15:01:07Is Date Night Dead?
When Kyle and Kate Jackson were on the dating scene, they didn’t want to meet people in bars or by chance. Since both of them were shy, they knew that even if they met someone they wouldn’t have the guts to ask the person out.
“I used to make fun of people who went online to find a date,” says Kate. “Once I got to the point that regular dating wasn’t successful, I decided to give it a try. For me, it made the whole process so much easier.”
A study published in 2013 by the University of Chicago indicated that 33 percent of couples who married met online. And, a Pew Research study in 2013 revealed that 59 percent of Americans believe that online dating is a good way to meet people.
When Kate and Kyle met online, they initially communicated by email. After sending emails back and forth, Kyle asked for permission to call Kate. They talked by phone for several weeks and when both felt comfortable, they decided to meet in person.
“I went to her house where her roommates were present and then we went out on our date,” says Kyle. “We made sure everyone knew where we were.”
Kate and Kyle met on Valentine’s Day 2008 and dated for a year before getting engaged on Valentine’s Day 2009. They wonder if their paths would have ever crossed without the online dating site.
If you are considering dating online, keeping yourself safe is a concern. These tips from Online Dating Magazine can help you safely navigate the world of online dating:
Arrange to meet in a public place. Never allow your date to pick you up from your home, and do not give out your home address. Consider going out with a group or on a double date when you first meet.
Go Dutch. This way you won’t feel any obligation to “return” the favor.
Realize that alcohol affects your judgment. Not only does it affect your judgment, but alcohol also lessens your inhibitions. Try to avoid alcohol on your first date.
Use your own mode of transportation. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, you won’t have to rely on your date to get you home.
Don’t assume that your date is safe. Never let your guard down on a first date.
Avoid secluded areas. Stay in a public place for your first date and avoid secluded areas such as parks.
Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t, so leave immediately.
Always let someone know where you’re going. You might even consider arranging a time to call and check in.
Give your cell phone number. It’s safer to give out a cell phone number instead of your landline (if you still have one).
Always remain alert. Even if you’re having a blast and the chemistry is great, it’s a good idea to remain alert the whole evening. Make sure you have a cell phone on you.
No matter how you meet, taking your time can help you make wiser choices when it comes to choosing a mate.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/brooke-cagle-WHWYBmtn3_0-unsplash.jpg13652048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2017-11-09 00:00:002020-11-17 12:14:3810 Safety Tips for Online Dating
