Did you know that research shows the happiest couples have 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction? When you think about your daily life with your honey, is this true for you? Well one great way to cash in on those positive interactions is through appreciation! This date night will guide you through how to show appreciation to your love, but also how to keep that habit going throughout the year!
- Sticky notes or small pieces of paper
- Two pens
- A bandana
- A timer (phone works fine)
- Headphones & a device to play music (optional)
The Main Idea:
Appreciation is a huge part of every relationship. But let’s be real, when you’re in the day-in and day-out of everyday life, it can be hard to remember to say “thank you” or “I love it when you…”. But that’s what this date night is for!
The goal is to create a chain reaction of appreciation that will last all year long (and more!). Let’s get started!
- First, each person grab a stack of sticky notes or a pile of about 10-15 pieces of paper.
- Next, without your partner seeing, write one way you are thankful for and/or appreciate your partner on each of the pieces of paper. (Check out the questions below if you get stuck!)
- Now, blindfold one person with the bandana and set a timer for 5 minutes. The non-blindfolded person will then spend those five minutes hiding all of their notes in places that their partner will find them either as they go through their daily routine or as the year goes by (toiletry bag, inside their pillowcase, in the box/bag of their favorite snack, tucked in their swimsuit or winter gloves, etc.)
- Maybe play some music through headphones for the blindfolded spouse so they don’t get any hints of where they might be!
- Once all the notes are hidden, switch roles. Spend another 5 minutes hiding the other partner’s notes!
- When you’re done, spend some time talking through the questions below.
Now here’s the kicker with this appreciation date night. When you find a note that your partner left for you, you have to write and hide one for them to find! That way, the appreciation can keep going on and on forever, if you let it!
Questions If You Get Stuck:
- What’s my favorite thing about my partner?
- What’s one thing my partner does that makes me smile?
- Has there been something they’ve done today that I haven’t thanked them for?
- Is there a responsibility my partner has taken on that I haven’t thanked them for?
- What’s one way my partner is great at recognizing my needs/wants?
- One thing I appreciate most about my partner is…
- One thing my partner does that often goes unnoticed is…
Questions For Conversation After Notes Are Hidden:
- Was it easy or hard for you to come up with things to put on the notes?
- Do you think we currently do a good job of showing appreciation for each other?
- Is there anything specific that you don’t feel appreciated about?
- What’s one thing we can do to make appreciation more of a habit in our relationship?
- Do you think we have a good balance of positive interactions for every negative interaction? (Reference the research in the intro of this date night if needed!)
- Are there currently any roadblocks to showing appreciation to each other?
- Have I ever made you feel unappreciated? How so?
- What’s one thing I can do to show that I appreciate you?
- Often, when responsibilities are expected of each other, they happen without appreciation. Would saying “thank you” for our individual responsibilities (mowing the lawn, feeding the pets, cleaning the bathrooms, managing the finances, etc.) make you feel more connected in our relationship? Why or why not?