How to Talk About Sex in Marriage
Awkwardness. Uncertainty. Embarrassment. Shame. These common emotions (and others) can keep married couples from talking about sex. You’re not alone if talking about sex with your spouse is uncomfortable. But let’s get real: you’re more likely to have satisfying sex if you talk about it together.
Most couples want to enjoy their sex life, but learning how to talk about intimacy in your marriage can take it to the next level if it’s not where you want it to be. The experts agree. So do most couples who’ve found a way to make the uncomfortable a little more comfortable.
So, how do you talk about sex in your marriage in a sexual-healing-kinda way?
1. Make the sex talk a priority.
It may be uncomfortable or awkward. You may have baggage (most of us do). Your feelings are real, but don’t let your emotions keep you from having a better sex life.
2. Pick a good time to talk.
This isn’t the time to surprise your spouse. Calmly say something like, “I’d like for us to talk about some ways we can improve our sex life. When do you think would be good?” Initiating the topic will give your spouse time to get ready to talk. Then, nail down a time.
*Note: Many experts speak against having this conversation in the bedroom. Take a walk in a park. Sit in a coffee shop. Send the kids outside and find a cozy spot at home.*
3. Eliminate distractions.
This may already be a delicate topic, so you’ll want to be fully engaged and tuned in to each other—no cell phones. And set aside plenty of time.
4. Be specific about your goal.
Maybe you could start with, “I want us to have the best sex life we can have. I’d like for us to talk about understanding each other’s sexual needs.” (You could also say, 🎵🎵 “Let’s talk about sex, Baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…” 🎵🎵 Thank you, Salt-N-Pepa!)
The Gottman Institute reminds us, “The less direct you are about what you want, the less likely you are to get it.” Tell each other what you want (what you really, really want)!
5. Don’t rush the conversation.
Your spouse may need time to think and express their thoughts, feelings, and desires. Be patient. This leads us to the next point.
6. This isn’t a one-and-done conversation.
You don’t know how many times I’ve replayed conversations with my wife because I thought of something later that would help her understand me. I’m sure she’s done the same. You won’t cover everything in one talk.
7. Listen to understand.
Feeling valued will always be a part of having good lovemaking experiences in your marriage. One way to ensure your partner feels like they matter is to genuinely try to understand them.
8. Encouraging and positive statements will go further than critical or negative ones.
For example, “I like it when you do this” is more helpful than “I hate it when you do this.” Or saying, “I need this from you,” is probably more effective than, “You don’t meet my needs in this way.” Think “I” statements instead of “You” statements.
Talking about sex is not about being right or wrong. It’s about sharing what works, what you like, and what helps you both have fulfilling sexual experiences. Respecting each other’s differences is a must. Different is not deficient—it’s just different.
The more you talk, the better you connect, the less uncomfortable it becomes, and the clearer you’ll understand one another. As the experts say, talking about sex in your marriage increases the likelihood that you’ll be doing something worth talking about later on. But shhh, we don’t kiss and tell.
More great stuff to read about sex in your relationship:
- 3 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex in Your Marriage
- 4 Reasons Why Sex Matters in Marriage
- 3 Ways to Have Better Sex in Marriage
- 10 Things Every Married Couple Needs to Know About Sex
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
I’m Trying to Save My Marriage, but My Spouse Isn’t
Each new year, people examine things they want to change or improve. Some people want to work on their marriage. That’s a worthy goal, but what if you’re one of those people who’s trying to save their marriage, and you feel like your spouse isn’t trying? That can be painful, for sure.
Marriage is two people who choose daily to walk together through life. It’s probably a good idea to find out whether you’re having a marriage problem or if you or your spouse are having individual issues that are impacting your marriage. A good marriage counselor can help with that. In either case, these steps can help you move forward.
Take time for self-reflection.
Inventory your thoughts, feelings, frustrations, challenges, areas for growth, etc.
Ask questions like:
- Why do I feel like I’m the only one trying?
- What’s making me feel dissatisfied?
- How do I want my marriage to be?
- Am I trying to change my spouse or trying to add value to my marriage?
- What can I do differently?
- How am I putting forth my best effort?
Walk a Mile in Your Spouse’s Shoes (Empathy).
Now that you’ve examined things from your perspective, put on your spouse’s shoes. Look at your marriage from their perspective. Ask them what they’re thinking and feeling. When you’re open and curious, they may be willing to share. Maybe they don’t want to add anything to your plate. Seeing through your spouse’s eyes may show you that they’re trying more than you realize.
Change the Dance (It Only Takes One).
Even though “It takes two to tango,” you can change the dance! It may be challenging, and you may be tired of taking the first step, but don’t give up! Marriage therapists say that if just one person is working to improve the marriage, there’s hope. There are many great resources out there to help. And who knows? Before you know it, you may not be dancing by yourself at all.
Connect More by Criticizing Less.
Sometimes we think we’re “helping” when we point out our spouse’s mistakes or missteps. Sure, we have good intentions, but our spouse hears criticism. They may think who they are (or their effort) isn’t good enough, so they just give up. Criticism hinders connecting. I want to challenge you to say 5 positive things for every negative thing you say. Experts say this makes a massive difference in your relationship. (Check out 30 Days of Gratitude and Love here.)
Be The Change You Want To See.
The key to being the change is your attitude/perspective. Changing may require that you do things without expecting anything in return. Or just listen. Or just put one foot in front of the other. What kind of change do you want to see? Are you connecting in a meaningful way with your spouse and creating space for things your spouse enjoys?
Mark Gungor, marriage speaker, says we should try to “outdo the dog.” Think about how your dog greets you when you come home. Your fur baby shows you they’re excited to see you and spend time with you. What if you tried this with your spouse? What could it hurt?
Nobody wants their marriage to go through changes and hard times, but it’s normal. If you’re in a challenging stage, your willingness to keep trying to save your marriage may help pave the way for your spouse to try, too.
Related resources to help you out:
- How to Find Good Relationship Advice
- Finding a Good Marriage Counselor
- How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- How to Save a Marriage That is Falling Apart
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
How to Find Common Interests With Your Spouse
There are two kinds of spouses in the world. (Ugh. I can’t stand statements like this.)
- Those who think it’s not important to share some common interests with their spouse.
- Those who think not having common interests is the end of the world. (Or marriage.)
They’re both wrong.
“I don’t think our marriage can work. I just think we have nothing in common.” Keep thinking. You probably have more in common than you think. It’s easier to develop some common interests than you think. Your differing interests are probably healthier than you think.
Developing some common interests reinforces that you are a team and keeps you connected. It builds one of the most overlooked areas in marriage—friendship. (Newlyweds: “We’re soooo in love!” 10 Years Later And Beyond: “We’re best friends.”)
For those two kinds of spouses (and everyone in between) here’s how you find those common interests.
Each of you get out a piece of paper and thoroughly answer these three questions:
- When you were a kid, what were you interested in?
- What were you interested in when you were in high school?
- What are you interested in lately?
Now compare your answers. One of you was interested in exploring as a kid. One of you was interested in camping out. Reconnect with those childhood interests as you connect with each other on a camping adventure. Be curious. Keep comparing lists. Make connections. Find the overlap.
(Can’t find a single interest that connects, overlaps, or is in common? Really? I wanna know… Email pictures of your lists to [email protected] and if I can’t find some commonality, I’ll personally mail you a shiny new nickel.)
Get your pieces of paper back. List causes or issues, big and small, that you are concerned or passionate about.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Find something you can do about it together. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Get creative. It might be litter. Pick a local park and get some gloves and trash bags and chit-chat as you pick up trash. Nothing brings people together like a common cause. Your marriage might spark a movement.
Take your problem to the internet like all rational people do. Try Random Thing Picker.
Let the universe intervene. Each of you puts in two or three ideas for date night. I put in: Dance Class, Cooking Class, Painting Class, Movie Night, Game Night, and to live on the edge, I put in Housework. Then click “Pick One!” Boom! Cooking Class. Sign up for a class or find one on the internet. (Spice it up by inputting things neither of you has tried before. Who knows where this will lead?)
Having problems finding common interests with your spouse? Yes, I think you can solve them with a piece of paper or a few clicks. And some time and thought. Oh, and the commitment to work on your friendship and to love your spouse because of your differences, not in spite of them. You got this!
Do I Have To Tell My Spouse Everything?
The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth. -Niels Bohr
Do I have to tell my spouse everything?
Do you want your spouse to tell you everything?
It depends. It really does.
What do we know for sure?
Once you marry someone, you aren’t leading your own life anymore. You are officially in a partnership, and you need to treat it as such. It’s important to discuss and respect boundaries.
We want to be known, understood, and accepted. Viewing marriage as a lifelong commitment between two people creates a safe environment to be accurately known, completely understood, and unconditionally accepted. Striving to accomplish those things is the journey of a lifetime.
Relationships are built in good faith on a foundation of honesty, trust, and communication. If you want to have a healthy, lasting marriage, it is not wise or healthy to be doing things you aren’t comfortable sharing with your spouse. If there is something you want or need, sit down with your spouse and discuss it.
The moment you under-share, withhold relevant information, cross agreed-upon boundaries, or intentionally try to hide something, and are found out—the trust evaporates and your bond is weakened or broken. What breaks in an instant takes a long time to rebuild.
✶ I don’t know you. I don’t know your spouse and I don’t know the health of your marriage or the boundaries you have agreed to put in place to protect your relationship and make it thrive. But here are some general things to think about as you consider what needs to be shared with your spouse:
- You shouldn’t share what doesn’t belong to you. Your spouse has no claims to what friends and colleagues confide in you. “Secret” does not equal “Private.”
- There is a major difference between telling your partner everything in your past because you want to and telling your partner everything in your past because they want you to.
- You might be strong enough to share the truth, but your spouse might not be strong enough to deal with it. Sensitivity and timing are everything.
- Don’t fall into the trap of believing you only have two options: tell your spouse everything or tell your spouse nothing. There could be dozens of legitimate options in between. Be compassionately discerning.
- You need to examine your motives as to why you are sharing certain information.
- It can be a short trip from “words” to “wounds.” Choose your words carefully.
- Some of our choices bring shame, pain, and consequences to ourselves and others. Integrity doesn’t compound consequences beneath layers of lies.
“The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth.” Lying, deceit, and deception are wrong, but sharing is not necessarily always caring. But don’t disconnect the profound relationship between truthfulness and love.
Related blogs:
4 THINGS EVERY COUPLE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE
Maximize Your Marriage Series | Tips for Healthy Communication
HELP! MY SPOUSE HATES TO TALK ABOUT BOUNDARIES!
4 STEPS FOR SETTING GOOD BOUNDARIES
HOW BOUNDARIES CAN PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
4 Communication Exercises For Married Couples
Healthy communication lies at the root of any successful relationship. In marriage, this is even more of a necessity. Like our muscles, our communication skills also need to be worked out. There are practices we can make part of our regular routines that will strengthen communication in our marriage. Here are four communication exercises for married couples.
Exercise #1: The Weekly Meeting
If your marriage is like mine, you’re busy. You both have schedules, and your kids have schedules… I think my kids’ schedules are often busier than mine. This exercise is excellent to carve out time to focus on your marriage intentionally.
Set aside a non-negotiable chunk of time (30 minutes is a good starting point) when you will have no distractions. No phones, no tablets, no television, no kids. This time is for you to discuss your relationship and check in on your marriage’s health.
So what do you talk about? Start here:
- How are we doing as a couple?
- Is there anything we need to finish addressing from this week?
- How can I make you feel more loved and appreciated?
You don’t have to stop here. These questions are just ideas to get you started.
As you dedicate this time each week, check out these keys to effective communication in marriage to enhance your communication.
Exercise #2: Connecting Through Breathing
The purpose of this exercise is to focus on your partner and remove distractions. To begin, sit facing each other, touching foreheads. Tilt your chins down, so you don’t bump noses.
Breathe at least seven deep breaths. Try to breathe slowly and in sync. As you get the hang of this exercise, you may choose to do more breaths or focus on breathing for a set amount of time. It’s all about connecting and focusing on one another.
When you need to slow down and refocus, this is a great practice. Once you have refocused on one another, take the time to talk about how your marriage is doing.
This exercise is ideal for clearing your minds and having a healthy conversation.
You’ve had conversations with your spouse, even arguments, and maybe straight-up fights about this issue or that problem, BUT those interactions often don’t lead to any solutions. But why is that exactly?
Join us for this 20-minute webinar to find out!
Exercise #3: Can I Get A Hand?
Often in marriage, misunderstandings come from not sharing our needs. Your spouse is not a mind reader, so it’s vital to communicate your needs clearly and effectively. This exercise will help.
In this exercise, you’ll both be working toward a common goal. Each person will place a hand behind their back, and together you’ll try to do a simple task such as buttoning a shirt, pouring a cup of coffee, or any other task around the house. Be as clear as possible in communicating with each other to accomplish the task together.
This was a pretty enlightening experience for me. We had some really good laughs AND I learned there were some things I could do to communicate more clearly with my wife.
Exercise #4: Active Listening
This exercise focuses on verbal and nonverbal communication.
Set a timer for 3-5 minutes. One spouse communicates whatever they are feeling or thinking, uninterrupted. The other spouse listens and communicates nonverbally. When the timer goes off, both of you discuss the experience.
Then switch roles and practice again.
These are just a few exercises you can practice to increase communication in your marriage. Healthy communication plays an essential role in any thriving relationship. Make exercising your communication muscles a priority in your marriage and take it to the next level.
Ready, set… time to work out!
Related:
How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
3 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
4 Things Every Couple Should Know About Communication In Marriage
How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
Every couple experiences little instances of communication breakdown. It just happens.
Of course, the little things can gradually chip away at your connectedness in your marriage. Small drops of water from a leaky pipe over time lead to big problems.
Minor bad communication habits are like that. Not that big of a thing in the moment, but given time… you get the picture.
So with that in mind, here are four common communication habit scenarios every couple experiences. The good news is, you can fix or improve bad communication with a little intention:
Scenario 1:
Fred asks Wilma if it’d be okay to go bowling with Barney tonight. Wilma replies, “Sure, you can go if you want.” However, Wilma’s tone of voice sounds less than enthused. And her crossed arms and frown suggests she’s not as approving as her words suggest.
Wilma is sending mixed messages to Fred. Her words don’t match her non-verbal cues. She feels bad saying no, but she would really love for him to stay home and spend time with her. This leaves Fred in a no-win situation: Should he accept her verbal permission and go, or stay home because of her tone and body language?
The Fix:
Wilma needs to be honest with her feelings and maybe work out an alternative. Perhaps he can go out tonight and plan on quality time with Wilma the next evening.
If Fred senses the mixed message, he needs to politely ask his wife, “Dear, I appreciate you letting me go tonight, but your tone and crossed arms seem to be telling me something else. Am I reading you right?”
Scenario 2:
Pam has had a rough day at work; her boss just seems incompetent, and her co-workers lazy. She shares with her husband Jim that evening. Jim makes several suggestions on how to handle things. Pam walks away feeling misunderstood.
You’ve had conversations with your spouse, even arguments, and maybe straight-up fights about this issue or that problem, BUT those interactions often don’t lead to any solutions. But why is that exactly?
Join us for this 20-minute webinar to find out!
The Fix:
The issue here is Pam just wants to be heard. There are times for solutions—this isn’t one of them for Pam. It would do Jim good to gently ask Pam during the conversation, “Hon, is this one of these things where you want some help fixing this or where you just want me to listen and try to understand?” Pam would feel appreciated just being asked that.
Knowing Jim is a fix-it kinda guy, Pam could prep Jim a little and say, “I want to share what happened today, and I don’t really need anything to be fixed; I just need you to listen.”
Scenario 3:
Rachel tries to tell Ross the chores she’d like his help with this weekend. Ross is currently engaged in the game on TV. When she’s finished, Ross blankly looks up at her and says, “Huh?” Rachel walks away frustrated while Ross sits there confused.
The Fix:
Rachel should understand Ross’s mind is in the game. It’s sometimes difficult for people to switch from one “mindset” to another. Rachel might ask her husband, “Would it be okay, when you get to a pause in the game, to talk some about this weekend?“
Ross needs to consider how important this conversation is for his wife. If the topic were more urgent, he’d definitely need to put the game on hold and give his wife his full attention. In this case, he might pause the game and say something like, “Babe, I know this is important to you. Could we wait until halftime to talk, and I can give you my full attention?”
Scenario 4:
Zach assumes Kelly is taking the garbage out. He notices the can is not by the curb. He says to her, “Hey Kel, the garbage hasn’t been taken out yet.” Kelly, a little miffed, replies, “Good observation, Zach…”
Zach just wants to see the garbage get out on time. But his first whammy is that he “assumes.” Add this to the fact he expects Kelly to read his mind, and bad communication results.
The Fix:
The problem is in his approach. Zach needs to put assumptions aside and be more direct (and still respectful): “Hey Kel, were you planning to take the garbage out? I thought you said you were but wanted to be sure I heard you right.” [And if Zach were really considerate…] “If not, I can do it.” With this approach, Kelly needs to remember she and Zach are a marital team and consider where he is coming from. Without making assumptions of her own, she can politely reply with something like, “Thanks for reminding me. I’ll take care of it in just a minute.”
★ It’s the little things that count. The same can be said for improving communication in marriage. Hopefully, you can relate to at least one of these scenarios. It’s often an easy fix, but a significant one. Acknowledge these scenarios with your spouse in your own relationship. Laugh about it; say, “Yup, that’s us!” and then take the simple steps to fix the leaky pipe of bad communication. Soon the small drops will be water under the bridge.
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
3 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
What if I told you you could say some magic words that would take your sex life to the next level in your marriage?
Let’s try it. Ready? Say them aloud slowly and clearly:
Koh-mew-nick-hey-shon.
Did it work?
Probably not. Magic words don’t really work that way.
But there’s good news! There is something that can bring your marital sex life to the next level! (And it’s magical, in a sense!) Communication.
Lots of research has shown us how communication and sexual satisfaction in marriage are positively linked.
How you talk to each other could determine how fulfilling your bedroom activities are. Here’s why:
- Good communication in marriage is conditional; it depends on using effective communication skills in a healthy way.
- Good marital sex is conditional; it depends on setting the right atmosphere that good communication provides.
Public Service Announcement: We have to make a distinction between good marital sex and, well, just sex. Any couple can “do the deed.” No communication needed for that. But you do need healthy communication for you and your spouse to have fulfilling, satisfying, amazing, bring-two-bodies-and-two-hearts-together-makes-our-marriage-stronger kind of sex.
I think you get the picture…
So, with that simple but very important concept in mind, here are three ways good communication can enhance sex in marriage:
1. Good communication gives you a greater sense of connection, closeness, trust, and intimacy, which spells out better sex later on. Good communication is great foreplay.
Author and speaker Dr. Gary Chapman tells us that, because satisfying marital sex depends so much on other areas in our marriage being healthy, foreplay doesn’t begin once you hop into bed. It starts way before. It’s how you handled that tough morning conversation, the deep discussion you had over coffee, the laughter you shared. All of these interactions throughout the day set the stage for what happens in the bedroom at night.
Put It Into Practice! Read up on some resources for more meaningful conversations in your marriage, including this and this. If you want to go into a deep dive for deeper communication, work through this fun online communication course as a couple.
2. Good communication increases vulnerability. Baring it helps you bare it all!
“Bear” with me on this (pun totally intended).
Marital sex is often a reflection of how other relationship exchanges with our spouse go down, including how you communicate. So, if your points of communication include moments when you feel like you can “bare it all,” (you can share your true feelings, thoughts, and needs) then this helps you to feel more vulnerable and open in the bedroom. It increases your ability to feel secure with your body and to “let go” a little when having a fun romp with your spouse.
Put It Into Practice! Incorporate “deeper level” questions into your conversations:
- What are the top 3 things you need from me in our relationship?
- What is a dream you would love to see fulfilled (no matter how unrealistic)?
- Who’s had the greatest influence on you as a person?
- When do you feel the most loved by me?
3. Good communication about sex can enhance sex. So… talking about sex leads to better sex!
Studies tell us sexual communication among couples—discussing what they like, what they don’t like, what’s a turn-on, what positions they enjoy, and so on—is linked to satisfying marital sex.
Couples often need to work through the awkwardness they might feel with sexual communication. It’s important to remember this is a process. The more you engage in sexual communication, the more natural it becomes. Sexual communication both increases connectedness and improves what goes on in the bedroom.
Put It Into Practice! Schedule a regular weekly time to talk about sex. Focus on a specific question each time, like:
- What gets you in the mood?
- Which things turn you on about me?
- What positions feel the best for you?
- What kind of foreplay (besides good communication, of course!) sets the stage for you?
- What’s something new you’d like to try in the bedroom?
There are no magic words you can just say to make sex more mind-blowing. But over time, the words you say, the communication you share between you and your spouse, can make marital sex more magical. Try some of these practices this week. Make them a habit and watch the magic move from words to the bedroom.
Great articles for improving your marital communication:
- Communicating Effectively
- Keys to Effective Communication in Marriage
- 6 Tips to Have a Difficult Conversation with Your Spouse
- The Importance of MeaningLESS Conversations
- Talk to Me Like Lovers Do – Date Night Video
- 10 Things Every Couple Needs to Know About Sex
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
How to Keep the Election from Ruining Your Marriage
Finally. After endless campaign ads, talking heads, polls and vote counting, the election is over. Now you’ve gotta figure out how to move forward and keep the election from ruining your marriage, especially if you live in a house divided.
One of you may be gloating over your candidate’s victory. But your spouse is licking his or her wounds, wondering how the nation will survive the next four years.
You CAN Keep the Election from Ruining Your Marriage
- First word of advice: be nice and kind. When our kids start playing sports, most parents drill into their kids, “Nobody likes a sore loser and nobody likes a gloating winner.” You can feel strongly about your stance and still be generous in the way you love and care for one another.
- Remember that your spouse is a multifaceted human being. Rarely do we look at a person and decide we can’t get along with them based on one aspect of who they are.
- Make a list of all the qualities you love about your spouse so that on the particularly challenging days you can refer to it. Let it remind you there’s a difference in how you feel about politics and how you feel about your spouse.
- Make sure you’re having more positive than negative interactions when you are together. Research indicates a ratio of five positives for every one negative will keep your relationship in the green zone.
- If you’ve been able to have civil conversation about politics in the past, but feel like things are too electrically charged right now, set some boundaries around what you will and will not have conversations about.
- Be intentional about making time for fun together. Doing things you both enjoy together typically brings about smiles, laughter and playfulness between the two of you. On the inside your brain is releasing dopamine, known as the “feel-good” hormone. It boosts your mood and makes you want to spend more time together because you associate that time with your spouse in positive ways and you want to repeat it.
- Guard against taking his or her political perspective as a personal affront against you. Family, religion and region of the country where they were raised are all factors contributing to a person’s political leanings. It likely has nothing to do with you, so your best move is to not engage.
- Focus on what you DO have in common. It’s just human nature to pay attention to what divides you, but it’s really in the best interest of your marriage to consider all you agree on. Chances are great there is more that unites you than divides you in your relationship.
When you get down to it, you probably both want what’s best for our country; you just disagree on what exactly that is and the best way to get there. It’s likely true you both want what’s best for your relationship, too. Keep in mind, while elections come and go, you married each other for the long haul. When your marriage matters more than who wins or loses in the election, your marriage becomes the winning team.
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
