Here’s the thing, whether you’ve been married for five years or 50, you are still two unique people from different backgrounds with varied life experiences. Each of you has different ingrained likes and dislikes, unique communication styles and approaches to conflict, mismatched habits, and even tiny little quirks and idiosyncrasies. You’re two “I’s.” You are…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/tabitha-turner-s3AH-gJ4A7o-unsplash.jpg15362048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2020-08-21 09:09:302022-03-11 08:27:13Is It Good To Fight In Marriage?
Keep these 9 things in mind as you have "a discussion."
Does this describe anyone you know? Avoids conflict at all costs. Hates when someone is mad at them. Shuts down when emotions get intense. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to describe your spouse. I was describing myself. I’m the spouse who can’t handle conflict at times. Though I sometimes justify the behavior, I know it’s…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/almos-bechtold-KZAdAZ8JNqY-unsplash.jpg20481263Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-08-19 08:08:382022-04-06 09:21:44How to Deal with a Spouse Who Can’t Handle Conflict
“I don’t know if I can keep doing this (marriage) much longer.” I said this statement at one point in my marriage when things felt like they were falling apart. And my wife of sixteen years has said it, too. I’ve also spoken with plenty of couples who have said things like this at some…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/pexels-min-an-1004014.jpg11522048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-08-17 14:17:212020-10-20 12:27:28How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
With everything couples have been having to focus on lately, it’s no surprise that enhancing communication in marriage might be a bit lacking. I mean, who has time to sit down and have meaningful conversation about anything besides work, school decisions, masks and hand sanitizer? That being said, what if we get creative for you…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/toa-heftiba-yZDYBogsWEc-unsplash.jpg20481365Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-08-14 08:45:282022-12-06 16:13:203 Great Dates To Enhance Communication In Your Marriage
Try these tips for talking about it and making decisions together.
You’ve just found out your husband is watching porn. What do you feel? Disgust. Shock. Despair. Betrayal on par with infidelity. World-shattering confusion. Who is this man I’m married to? Heartbreak. Grief. Loneliness. Creeping insecurity about your attractiveness and your sex appeal. Why am I not enough? Is he thinking about pornographic images while we have sex? How…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/charles-deluvio-DgoyKNgPiFQ-unsplash.jpg20481365Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-08-13 15:50:352023-05-01 18:04:35What To Do When You Catch Your Husband Watching Porn
Have you ever whipped up your favorite batch of homemade cookies to find out in the first bite that you left out that one key ingredient that makes all the difference? Empathy is that key ingredient to a great recipe for a healthy marriage that you don’t want to forget. A large body of research…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/bryson-beckham-2RQO4r__65w-unsplash-e1597257317446.jpg276600Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-08-12 14:33:072022-05-10 11:15:14How To Build Empathy In Marriage
A look that needs no explanation, a touch on the arm that says I love you, an unexpected hug because even though you think you’re hiding it well—your spouse knows you need it. Pretty much all of the warm and fuzzies happen when you feel connected to your spouse. And there’s nothing quite like that…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/tai-s-captures-r2V3dyuD2sg-unsplash-1.jpg20481365First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-08-12 14:29:062022-08-24 09:29:074 Ways to Feel More Connected to Your Spouse
There are a lot of answers to questions I don’t want to find out: How long can my car run without an oil change? Would anyone notice if I walked out of the house wearing a crop-top? And if you were to ask me, “Can a marriage survive without intimacy?” I’d tell you I wouldn’t…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/jonathan-borba-u28f3X3_HNU-unsplash-1.jpg259600Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-08-12 14:24:022020-12-23 10:35:11Can A Marriage Survive Without Intimacy?
A New York Post article has couples asking, “Will my relationship fail?” Even if you haven’t read this article, you should know the study talks about 10 signs that your relationship is less likely to fail. Using artificial intelligence, researchers Samatha Joel and Paul Eastwick looked at the habits of 11,196 couples to try and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/candice-picard-vLENm-coX5Y-unsplash-scaled.jpg13662048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-08-11 06:16:012020-10-20 12:33:0510 Signs Your Relationship is Less Likely to Fail
Do you find it hard to see things from your spouse’s perspective? Do you think your spouse should see things exactly the way you do? Is it easier for you to try to fix things for your spouse rather than listen to them? If this is true about you or your spouse, you may have…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/satria-perkasa-VJTMn8E7C4M-unsplash-1-1.jpg8212048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-08-10 09:28:002020-10-20 12:34:103 Ways Empathy Can Strengthen Your Marriage
There are not many feelings worse than when someone puts you down, insults you, or invalidates you. And a put-down from your own spouse is like a straight-up punch to the psyche. It’s amazing how easy it is to hurt the ones we love the most with our words, but what do you do if…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/pexels-andrew-neel-3132388.jpg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-08-06 09:40:422021-09-22 15:47:17My Spouse Is Putting Me Down. (How Do I Get Them to Stop?)
“Why are you fighting?” That’s the question one little girl posed to her parents at the dinner table as they were in the midst of a heated discussion about what needed to happen after dinner. How do you talk with your children about why parents fight? It’s pretty much a given that parents will get…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/WhyParentsFight-xavier-mouton-photographie-MRWHSKimBJk-unsplash-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-08-05 16:30:022020-08-05 16:32:20How to Talk with Your Child about Why Parents Fight
Have you ever made a joke about your spouse and they didn’t think that it was funny? Has your spouse ever remarked on a “weakness” of yours and you felt some way about it? Has your spouse ever made fun of you or put you down in front of your kids? What are some of…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/pexels-polina-zimmerman-3958855.jpg13652048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-08-05 15:05:352021-03-16 12:06:455 Ways You May Be Putting Down Your Spouse
Here's how to rejuvenate your sex life AND your marriage.
I have good news for you: an exciting sex life is salvageable and well within your reach for you and your spouse. Here are three ways you and your spouse can take your sexual relationship from mundane to mind-blowing: 1. Don’t make fun the point of sex. Wait, what? Did he just say that? Isn’t…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/toa-heftiba-2ey7dmVEQv4-unsplash-1.jpg39362624Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-08-05 10:11:442021-07-30 08:41:073 Ways to Have Better Sex in Marriage
Focusing on your marriage goals can help you navigate any political disagreements you have.
When Trump was elected President in 2016, Wakefield Research found 1 in 10 couples ended relationships over their political differences. For millennials, it was twice that. With that in mind, many wonder if marriages with different political views can survive the increased volatility of the times. Susan and Darrell* have been married for more than…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Political-Differences-cody-black-VDb0wxbfG6k-unsplash-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-08-04 14:58:492022-07-07 10:14:29My Spouse and I Have Different Political Views
It started with a simple question from my son at the dinner table. “Can I invite a few friends to go to Six Flags Amusement Park with me for my birthday?” Would it end up as a fight in front of the kids? Mom: That should be fun. How many friends are you thinking about?…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/AdobeStock_269718339.jpeg13652048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-08-04 08:55:312020-08-28 15:28:12How to Fight in Front of the Kids
While there are no guarantees, there are things you can do to try.
When trust is broken within a marriage, rebuilding it cannot automatically be assumed. Many times you can rebuild trust if both parties are willing to do the work necessary to restore it, though. David Horsager, author of The Trust Edge says, “(trust) is a confident belief in someone or something. It’s the confident belief in…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/shanique-wright-AAeNuVOw8p0-unsplash.jpg36002403Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-07-28 16:35:442022-12-06 16:00:12How to Rebuild Trust in Marriage
Hint: It plays a critical part in a healthy marriage.
Respect matters in marriage. Maybe more than anything else. And I’m going to tell you why. Respect may best be defined as the way you show true appreciation for another person. Respect is an action, not just a feeling. It’s a declaration of value for someone. We demonstrate respect by how we behave toward another…
You and your spouse are arguing constantly. Maybe there’s a never-ending tension-filled silence at home when you’re around your partner. Or you feel like you can’t ever believe anything your significant other says. You’ve heard that marriages can be hard work. But you’re not sure if this is “good” hard work, if you just have…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/alex-iby-LaHo9Set3bI-unsplash.jpg13652048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-07-24 15:42:062020-10-20 13:07:0610 Ways To Know If Your Marriage Is Toxic (And What To Do About It)
Dating your mate can help your summer get even hotter!
I value my friend who reminded me that summer doesn’t end just because we start talking about our children going back to school. In fact, we are just one month into summer! Summer means different things for different people. For some, summer is about being footloose and fancy-free. For others, summer is composed of trips…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/jonathan-borba-kMnhiuPhzSY-unsplash.jpg13652048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-07-24 13:45:432022-05-10 12:00:4210 Date Nights Every Couple Must Do Before Summer Ends
Is It Good To Fight In Marriage?
Here’s the thing, whether you’ve been married for five years or 50, you are still two unique people from different backgrounds with varied life experiences. Each of you has different ingrained likes and dislikes, unique communication styles and approaches to conflict, mismatched habits, and even tiny little quirks and idiosyncrasies. You’re two “I’s.” You are…
How to Deal with a Spouse Who Can’t Handle Conflict
Does this describe anyone you know? Avoids conflict at all costs. Hates when someone is mad at them. Shuts down when emotions get intense. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to describe your spouse. I was describing myself. I’m the spouse who can’t handle conflict at times. Though I sometimes justify the behavior, I know it’s…
How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
“I don’t know if I can keep doing this (marriage) much longer.” I said this statement at one point in my marriage when things felt like they were falling apart. And my wife of sixteen years has said it, too. I’ve also spoken with plenty of couples who have said things like this at some…
3 Great Dates To Enhance Communication In Your Marriage
With everything couples have been having to focus on lately, it’s no surprise that enhancing communication in marriage might be a bit lacking. I mean, who has time to sit down and have meaningful conversation about anything besides work, school decisions, masks and hand sanitizer? That being said, what if we get creative for you…
What To Do When You Catch Your Husband Watching Porn
You’ve just found out your husband is watching porn. What do you feel? Disgust. Shock. Despair. Betrayal on par with infidelity. World-shattering confusion. Who is this man I’m married to? Heartbreak. Grief. Loneliness. Creeping insecurity about your attractiveness and your sex appeal. Why am I not enough? Is he thinking about pornographic images while we have sex? How…
How To Build Empathy In Marriage
Have you ever whipped up your favorite batch of homemade cookies to find out in the first bite that you left out that one key ingredient that makes all the difference? Empathy is that key ingredient to a great recipe for a healthy marriage that you don’t want to forget. A large body of research…
4 Ways to Feel More Connected to Your Spouse
A look that needs no explanation, a touch on the arm that says I love you, an unexpected hug because even though you think you’re hiding it well—your spouse knows you need it. Pretty much all of the warm and fuzzies happen when you feel connected to your spouse. And there’s nothing quite like that…
Can A Marriage Survive Without Intimacy?
There are a lot of answers to questions I don’t want to find out: How long can my car run without an oil change? Would anyone notice if I walked out of the house wearing a crop-top? And if you were to ask me, “Can a marriage survive without intimacy?” I’d tell you I wouldn’t…
10 Signs Your Relationship is Less Likely to Fail
A New York Post article has couples asking, “Will my relationship fail?” Even if you haven’t read this article, you should know the study talks about 10 signs that your relationship is less likely to fail. Using artificial intelligence, researchers Samatha Joel and Paul Eastwick looked at the habits of 11,196 couples to try and…
3 Ways Empathy Can Strengthen Your Marriage
Do you find it hard to see things from your spouse’s perspective? Do you think your spouse should see things exactly the way you do? Is it easier for you to try to fix things for your spouse rather than listen to them? If this is true about you or your spouse, you may have…
My Spouse Is Putting Me Down. (How Do I Get Them to Stop?)
There are not many feelings worse than when someone puts you down, insults you, or invalidates you. And a put-down from your own spouse is like a straight-up punch to the psyche. It’s amazing how easy it is to hurt the ones we love the most with our words, but what do you do if…
How to Talk with Your Child about Why Parents Fight
“Why are you fighting?” That’s the question one little girl posed to her parents at the dinner table as they were in the midst of a heated discussion about what needed to happen after dinner. How do you talk with your children about why parents fight? It’s pretty much a given that parents will get…
5 Ways You May Be Putting Down Your Spouse
Have you ever made a joke about your spouse and they didn’t think that it was funny? Has your spouse ever remarked on a “weakness” of yours and you felt some way about it? Has your spouse ever made fun of you or put you down in front of your kids? What are some of…
3 Ways to Have Better Sex in Marriage
I have good news for you: an exciting sex life is salvageable and well within your reach for you and your spouse. Here are three ways you and your spouse can take your sexual relationship from mundane to mind-blowing: 1. Don’t make fun the point of sex. Wait, what? Did he just say that? Isn’t…
My Spouse and I Have Different Political Views
When Trump was elected President in 2016, Wakefield Research found 1 in 10 couples ended relationships over their political differences. For millennials, it was twice that. With that in mind, many wonder if marriages with different political views can survive the increased volatility of the times. Susan and Darrell* have been married for more than…
How to Fight in Front of the Kids
It started with a simple question from my son at the dinner table. “Can I invite a few friends to go to Six Flags Amusement Park with me for my birthday?” Would it end up as a fight in front of the kids? Mom: That should be fun. How many friends are you thinking about?…
How to Rebuild Trust in Marriage
When trust is broken within a marriage, rebuilding it cannot automatically be assumed. Many times you can rebuild trust if both parties are willing to do the work necessary to restore it, though. David Horsager, author of The Trust Edge says, “(trust) is a confident belief in someone or something. It’s the confident belief in…
4 Reasons Why Respect Matters In Marriage
Respect matters in marriage. Maybe more than anything else. And I’m going to tell you why. Respect may best be defined as the way you show true appreciation for another person. Respect is an action, not just a feeling. It’s a declaration of value for someone. We demonstrate respect by how we behave toward another…
10 Ways To Know If Your Marriage Is Toxic (And What To Do About It)
You and your spouse are arguing constantly. Maybe there’s a never-ending tension-filled silence at home when you’re around your partner. Or you feel like you can’t ever believe anything your significant other says. You’ve heard that marriages can be hard work. But you’re not sure if this is “good” hard work, if you just have…
10 Date Nights Every Couple Must Do Before Summer Ends
I value my friend who reminded me that summer doesn’t end just because we start talking about our children going back to school. In fact, we are just one month into summer! Summer means different things for different people. For some, summer is about being footloose and fancy-free. For others, summer is composed of trips…
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