How much do I need to have in common with my spouse for our marriage to be healthy and happy? Do we need to like all the same things for this to work? These are valid questions faced by many engaged or newly-married couples. We all want to be compatible with our partner, we want…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/priscilla-du-preez-xM4wUnvbCKk-unsplash.jpg20481365Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-11-09 08:56:032021-03-17 13:07:295 Things You Should Have In Common With Your Spouse
You can let your differences complement each other.
When I first started dating my husband 32 years ago (but who’s counting?), the first thing I noticed about him besides his legs was how different we were from each other. I was concerned we didn’t have many things in common. Would this be a stumbling block to our future marriage? Now, I see the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/nathan-dumlao-EGHDhHUpEQQ-unsplash-e1604929932181.jpg202600Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-11-09 08:52:312022-05-09 13:05:045 Things You Don’t Need to Have in Common With Your Spouse
You can enjoy deeper intimacy through conversation.
“Why can’t we just talk about it?” Couples should know: Communication is essential in any relationship, but communication is at the core of marriage. Poor, unclear, or sporadic communication in marriage is its own problem, but unhealthy communication also makes it difficult to work on other marital issues like disagreements related to finances, sex, and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/oz-seyrek-jmhHtG3gpBE-unsplash-e1604331720455.jpg240600Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-11-02 14:15:462022-04-28 11:06:534 Things Every Couple Should Know About Communication In Marriage
Friends are people we confide in, have fun with, and can be ourselves around. Does this sound like your spouse? If so, fantastic! It’s great to be best friends with the person you share your life with. If not, never fear; you can be a better friend to your spouse. Let’s be real for a…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/chewy-DR6wPYR2DRc-unsplash-e1604331770952.jpg274600Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-11-02 10:43:032020-11-03 11:29:34How To Be A Better Friend To Your Spouse
How gritty are you? Is your marriage gritty? Do you teach your kids to be gritty? In her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Harvard-trained psychologist and researcher Angela Duckworth examines what it takes to stick things out and accomplish long-term goals. Grit has everything to do with how we do family relationships. …
Have you ever walked over a frozen pond and realized just how thin the ice was? I have. You quickly understand that you need to step… very… carefully. It’s the same when considering telling your friends and family about your marital problems. One wrong step can mean an icy plunge. It’s slippery, and it’s dangerous.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/pexels-diva-plavalaguna-5711633.jpg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-10-28 13:15:242021-03-16 13:10:27Should You Tell Your Friends and Family about Your Marital Problems?
These 7 things can help you build a strong relationship.
What’s the difference between a loving, warm marriage and one full of friction and conflict? Trust. There are probably many items on your checklist for having a strong marriage. If there’s one that ought to be at the top of the list, it’s trust. How do you establish trust in marriage from the start? 1.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/pexels-emma-bauso-3585812-1.jpg20481367Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-10-19 16:25:162021-03-16 13:12:44How To Establish Trust In Marriage From The Start
Sharpen your skills together for the marriage win!
If you’ve been married for a minute you know disagreements are going to come up between the two of you. But, have you ever had one of those disagreements where not only were you on opposite sides of the issue, neither one of you was willing to budge? Guess what? You’re in good company. Plenty…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/hana-el-zohiry-cS0K7xxLO5s-unsplash-e1602878728572.jpg305600Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-10-16 16:05:442022-01-13 13:54:386 Ways To Agree To Disagree With My Spouse
You see things differently than you used to. You’re living a healthier lifestyle. You go out less. You interact differently with people. You’re investing more time into hobbies. You love the way you feel—happier, healthier, and less stressed—except in your marriage. Your spouse seems agitated with you which just doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t they…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/toa-heftiba-XFdFdmVYe3Y-unsplash.jpg14852048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-10-16 10:25:322020-10-19 10:09:00I’ve Changed, But My Spouse Hasn’t
Sex matters a lot… but maybe not for the usual reasons we think it does.
Sex: The Ecstasy – and for some – The “Eh.” There’s probably no other part of marriage that can challenge couples more than their sex lives. It’s not uncommon for one spouse to have a much different sex drive than the other. It’s easy for a couple to experience seasons of their marriage when their…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/FTF_NativeAd_Nov2021_WhySexMatters.jpg6281200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-10-13 08:43:502022-06-30 07:29:394 Reasons Why Sex Matters In Marriage
Knowing your spouse has your back provides a sense of security.
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships,” according to Stephen Covey. This is especially true when it comes to trust in marriage. Trust is essential; without it, maintaining a healthy marriage relationship is difficult. It’s a word that is thrown…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/pexels-gustavo-fring-4127559.jpg13652048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-10-12 14:48:232022-04-12 10:50:51What Does Trust Look Like in a Healthy Marriage?
How we watch television, communicate with extended family, and even play video games with friends has changed tremendously in the last 20 years. Change is inevitable. But what about when your spouse changes? Notice I said, “when,” not “if.” TV viewing, phone communication, and gaming was and is going to change. And there’s a good…
The romance doesn’t need to go down as the anniversaries go up.
What sounds better than a fun, fulfilling marriage? Nothing!! If you’re married, you know keeping things interesting takes a little effort, but what things in life worth having don’t? You’ve signed up for a lifelong pursuit of your spouse and to fall in love with them over and over again. Having fun together helps naturally…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/3EasyWaystoMakeYourMarriageMoreFun.jpg306800First Things Firsthttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2020-10-06 07:44:512021-03-30 08:42:133 Easy Ways to Make Your Marriage More Fun
There are days you wake up and have no motivation to go to work. Times when you don’t feel like seeing your in-laws and weekends and there’s no desire to get out of the bed anytime between Friday evening and Monday morning. However, when the lack of motivation creeps into marriage and you begin struggling…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/HowToStayMotivatedDuringMarriageChallenges.jpg475800Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-10-06 06:10:012021-04-13 09:05:53How to Stay Motivated During Marriage Challenges
These solutions can help you deal with the problems head-on.
There are lots of things that can make your marriage great. Inevitably, your marriage will run into some bumps and cracks in the road that can cause problems. Those problems don’t have to become craters in your journey. Awareness of common marital issues can help you avoid many of them. It can also prepare you…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/5CommonProblemsinMarriage.jpg368800Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-10-05 22:46:522022-05-10 12:12:465 Common Problems in Marriage
Married. You and your spouse talk every day and you sleep in the same bed. You share bills and responsibilities. Of course, you have sex. You do all the things married couples do. Yet you so often feel unheard and unknown by your spouse. You don’t feel like your spouse knows your hurts and pains.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/WhatToDoWhenYouFeelUnheardInYourMarriage.jpg379800Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-10-05 22:36:442020-10-19 12:24:15What to Do When You Feel Unheard in Your Marriage
You want to have good relationships. You want a healthy marriage AND you want to be a great parent, a wonderful friend, fiancé, or co-worker. But relationships are sometimes complex. They aren’t always easy. Issues arise. And if you’re like me, you could just use some help sometimes. The internet gives us ENDLESS information on…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/HowtoFindGoodRelationshipAdvice.jpg454800Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-10-05 21:46:132021-04-01 17:22:46How to Find Good Relationship Advice
Full transparency here: I’ve dealt with feelings of depression and anxiety through much of my adulthood. In fact, I brought it right with me into my marriage. Through it all, my wife has been a solid rock of support and encouragement for me and my mental health during those difficult times. And looking back, I’ve…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/june-heredia-PflcOSKn0oY-unsplash.jpg32644928Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-09-24 17:10:182021-04-13 09:43:108 Ways To Care for Your Spouse’s Mental Health
Name something that can help you have a long-lasting, thriving marriage. I’ll give you a moment to run through the usual answers… communication, working through conflict, intimacy, yadda, yadda, yadda. The one you’re looking for is… Spending time alone. You might crave it and don’t get enough of it. Perhaps your spouse craves alone time…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/roberto-nickson-q9nZUFC1nTw-unsplash.jpg13652048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-09-23 10:59:262022-04-04 12:02:45Why Spending Time Alone Is Good for Your Marriage
Will having an open marriage increase your happiness? Maybe you’ve seen the trend among celebrities “celebrating” an open marriage situation. Maybe you’ve even thought about adopting an open marriage relationship with your spouse. I’d like to help you with some answers. Answers based on research, common sense, the multitudes of couples I’ve worked with, and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/jonathan-borba-n-A894UXsj8-unsplash.jpg20481365Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-09-23 10:54:012020-10-20 11:54:25Will Having an Open Marriage Increase Your Happiness?
5 Things You Should Have In Common With Your Spouse
How much do I need to have in common with my spouse for our marriage to be healthy and happy? Do we need to like all the same things for this to work? These are valid questions faced by many engaged or newly-married couples. We all want to be compatible with our partner, we want…
5 Things You Don’t Need to Have in Common With Your Spouse
When I first started dating my husband 32 years ago (but who’s counting?), the first thing I noticed about him besides his legs was how different we were from each other. I was concerned we didn’t have many things in common. Would this be a stumbling block to our future marriage? Now, I see the…
4 Things Every Couple Should Know About Communication In Marriage
“Why can’t we just talk about it?” Couples should know: Communication is essential in any relationship, but communication is at the core of marriage. Poor, unclear, or sporadic communication in marriage is its own problem, but unhealthy communication also makes it difficult to work on other marital issues like disagreements related to finances, sex, and…
How To Be A Better Friend To Your Spouse
Friends are people we confide in, have fun with, and can be ourselves around. Does this sound like your spouse? If so, fantastic! It’s great to be best friends with the person you share your life with. If not, never fear; you can be a better friend to your spouse. Let’s be real for a…
Is Grit the Secret Ingredient to Successful Relationships?
How gritty are you? Is your marriage gritty? Do you teach your kids to be gritty? In her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Harvard-trained psychologist and researcher Angela Duckworth examines what it takes to stick things out and accomplish long-term goals. Grit has everything to do with how we do family relationships. …
Should You Tell Your Friends and Family about Your Marital Problems?
Have you ever walked over a frozen pond and realized just how thin the ice was? I have. You quickly understand that you need to step… very… carefully. It’s the same when considering telling your friends and family about your marital problems. One wrong step can mean an icy plunge. It’s slippery, and it’s dangerous.…
How To Establish Trust In Marriage From The Start
What’s the difference between a loving, warm marriage and one full of friction and conflict? Trust. There are probably many items on your checklist for having a strong marriage. If there’s one that ought to be at the top of the list, it’s trust. How do you establish trust in marriage from the start? 1.…
6 Ways To Agree To Disagree With My Spouse
If you’ve been married for a minute you know disagreements are going to come up between the two of you. But, have you ever had one of those disagreements where not only were you on opposite sides of the issue, neither one of you was willing to budge? Guess what? You’re in good company. Plenty…
I’ve Changed, But My Spouse Hasn’t
You see things differently than you used to. You’re living a healthier lifestyle. You go out less. You interact differently with people. You’re investing more time into hobbies. You love the way you feel—happier, healthier, and less stressed—except in your marriage. Your spouse seems agitated with you which just doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t they…
4 Reasons Why Sex Matters In Marriage
Sex: The Ecstasy – and for some – The “Eh.” There’s probably no other part of marriage that can challenge couples more than their sex lives. It’s not uncommon for one spouse to have a much different sex drive than the other. It’s easy for a couple to experience seasons of their marriage when their…
What Does Trust Look Like in a Healthy Marriage?
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships,” according to Stephen Covey. This is especially true when it comes to trust in marriage. Trust is essential; without it, maintaining a healthy marriage relationship is difficult. It’s a word that is thrown…
My Spouse Has Changed
How we watch television, communicate with extended family, and even play video games with friends has changed tremendously in the last 20 years. Change is inevitable. But what about when your spouse changes? Notice I said, “when,” not “if.” TV viewing, phone communication, and gaming was and is going to change. And there’s a good…
3 Easy Ways to Make Your Marriage More Fun
What sounds better than a fun, fulfilling marriage? Nothing!! If you’re married, you know keeping things interesting takes a little effort, but what things in life worth having don’t? You’ve signed up for a lifelong pursuit of your spouse and to fall in love with them over and over again. Having fun together helps naturally…
How to Stay Motivated During Marriage Challenges
There are days you wake up and have no motivation to go to work. Times when you don’t feel like seeing your in-laws and weekends and there’s no desire to get out of the bed anytime between Friday evening and Monday morning. However, when the lack of motivation creeps into marriage and you begin struggling…
5 Common Problems in Marriage
There are lots of things that can make your marriage great. Inevitably, your marriage will run into some bumps and cracks in the road that can cause problems. Those problems don’t have to become craters in your journey. Awareness of common marital issues can help you avoid many of them. It can also prepare you…
What to Do When You Feel Unheard in Your Marriage
Married. You and your spouse talk every day and you sleep in the same bed. You share bills and responsibilities. Of course, you have sex. You do all the things married couples do. Yet you so often feel unheard and unknown by your spouse. You don’t feel like your spouse knows your hurts and pains.…
How to Find Good Relationship Advice
You want to have good relationships. You want a healthy marriage AND you want to be a great parent, a wonderful friend, fiancé, or co-worker. But relationships are sometimes complex. They aren’t always easy. Issues arise. And if you’re like me, you could just use some help sometimes. The internet gives us ENDLESS information on…
8 Ways To Care for Your Spouse’s Mental Health
Full transparency here: I’ve dealt with feelings of depression and anxiety through much of my adulthood. In fact, I brought it right with me into my marriage. Through it all, my wife has been a solid rock of support and encouragement for me and my mental health during those difficult times. And looking back, I’ve…
Why Spending Time Alone Is Good for Your Marriage
Name something that can help you have a long-lasting, thriving marriage. I’ll give you a moment to run through the usual answers… communication, working through conflict, intimacy, yadda, yadda, yadda. The one you’re looking for is… Spending time alone. You might crave it and don’t get enough of it. Perhaps your spouse craves alone time…
Will Having an Open Marriage Increase Your Happiness?
Will having an open marriage increase your happiness? Maybe you’ve seen the trend among celebrities “celebrating” an open marriage situation. Maybe you’ve even thought about adopting an open marriage relationship with your spouse. I’d like to help you with some answers. Answers based on research, common sense, the multitudes of couples I’ve worked with, and…
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