It may be uncomfortable at first, but it could be a great thing for your sex life.
Awkwardness. Uncertainty. Embarrassment. Shame. These common emotions (and others) can keep married couples from talking about sex. You’re not alone if talking about sex with your spouse is uncomfortable. But let’s get real: you’re more likely to have satisfying sex if you talk about it together. Most couples want to enjoy their sex life, but…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/jakob-owens-o_cqBHwKnWg-unsplash-2-1.jpg7822048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-01-25 16:56:462021-01-25 17:20:28How to Talk About Sex in Marriage
If you’re dating, in a long-term relationship, or engaged, you may be wondering what marriage is like. You probably have friends with good marriages and those who have so-so marriages. Perhaps you’ve got questions, but you don’t know exactly how to ask. Questions like: Is it hard? Is it worth it? Why get married? Well,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-emma-bauso-3585798.jpg13672048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-01-20 12:48:002021-01-21 11:53:4610 Things You Need to Know About Marriage
Rekindling the passion may be easier than you think.
You expect a campfire to burn hot and then turn into ashes. But you didn’t expect the fire to die down in your marriage, did you? Love… sex… connection… You expected them to go through ruts, maybe. Highs and lows? Sure. But nobody expects to wake up one day and realize the intimacy is gone.…
You probably never thought it would get to this. You always seemed to like the same shows, movies, and activities, and you spent all your free time together. Now, it feels like you NEVER do anything together, or that your husband is just boring and never WANTS to do anything with you. If you’re honest,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-alex-green-5700166.jpg13652048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-01-15 09:03:492021-01-21 11:20:47Help! My Husband is Boring
Processing your emotions may be easier if you know some of the facts about porn.
So your husband watches porn, and you’re wondering how you should feel about it. Perhaps you’re frustrated and wondering if you have a reason to be upset. Or maybe it doesn’t bother you, and that’s what bothers you. It’s probably hard to know just what to feel or think or do with this. Pornography can…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/AdobeStock_198969127-1.jpeg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-01-13 16:26:032022-06-30 07:28:25Should I Be Upset That My Husband Watches Porn?
Each new year, people examine things they want to change or improve. Some people want to work on their marriage. That’s a worthy goal, but what if you’re one of those people who’s trying to save their marriage, and you feel like your spouse isn’t trying? That can be painful, for sure. Marriage is two…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/frustrated-upset-couple-after-quarrel-sitting-sofa-home.jpg13652048Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-01-12 10:36:202021-01-12 17:07:51I’m Trying to Save My Marriage, but My Spouse Isn’t
Here are a few reasons you might feel this way—and what you can do about it.
Maybe when you started living with your in-laws, you didn’t think it would be all that bad. After all, they raised your spouse. But now, living with them feels like it’s destroying your marriage. Criticism. Judgment. Parenting critiques. Lack of boundaries. Arguments. Living with them seems to be impacting your marriage—not for better, but for…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/AdobeStock_204872376.jpeg13652048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-01-08 16:49:092021-09-21 14:53:40We’re Living With Our In-Laws and It’s Destroying Our Marriage
A thriving marriage can be yours in the coming year, too!
2020 is finally in the rearview mirror, so let’s all breathe a collective sigh of relief. It was a challenging year for many. But as we close out that chapter, it’s good to reflect on lessons learned. I want to focus specifically on what 2020 has taught us about marriage. Many declared a year of…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/amanda-plata-rmSgx2PWFdA-unsplash.jpg13652048Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-01-05 15:51:212021-01-05 16:06:48What 2020 Has Taught Us About Marriage
There are two kinds of spouses in the world. (Ugh. I can’t stand statements like this.) Those who think it’s not important to share some common interests with their spouse. Those who think not having common interests is the end of the world. (Or marriage.) They’re both wrong. “I don’t think our marriage can work.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-cottonbro-4009401.jpg13652048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-01-04 16:26:102021-09-22 15:19:59How to Find Common Interests With Your Spouse
The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth. -Niels Bohr Do I have to tell my spouse everything? Do you want your spouse to tell you everything? It depends. It really does. What do we know for sure? Once you marry…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/tai-s-captures-r2V3dyuD2sg-unsplash-2.jpg20481365John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-01-04 16:18:102022-07-15 15:08:14Do I Have To Tell My Spouse Everything?
Every relationship requires a little give and take.
We throw the words compromise and sacrifice around quite a bit in relationships. But what exactly do they mean? And don’t they mean the same thing? Well, the short answer is, not exactly. It’s complicated, kind of like relationships are sometimes. Read on to see what I mean. Both sacrifice and compromise require someone to…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/nathan-dumlao-c_uU7eMrr0M-unsplash-e1608666608822.jpg367900Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-22 14:50:302021-01-05 15:45:20The Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise in a Relationship
How can you love your spouse and be thinking about having an affair? Is that even possible? The whole thing is super confusing. Well, believe it or not, there may be a logical explanation. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says couples need both closeness and distance to sustain a level of sexual intimacy…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/matteo-raw-h0ixKuuftQY-unsplash.jpg13652048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-12-21 12:04:332022-03-04 12:13:46I Love My Spouse, But I’m Thinking About Having an Affair
Protect (and maybe even save) your marriage by being open with your spouse and talking about these ideas.
Marital affairs are kind of like rust. On the surface, it’s apparent that a single, ugly event has happened. But underneath is a complex process of chemical reactions and driving forces that have built up over time. Affairs are complicated like that. And finding out why people really have affairs can be even more complicated.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-luizclas-1824684.jpg34565184Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-15 09:02:432020-12-15 15:07:29Why People Really Have Affairs (It’s Not Always Just About Sex)
Get ready to work out those communication kinks and keep the conversation going!
Healthy communication lies at the root of any successful relationship. In marriage, this is even more of a necessity. Like our muscles, our communication skills also need to be worked out. There are practices we can make part of our regular routines that will strengthen communication in our marriage. Here are four communication exercises for…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/dillon-kydd-TCBdkbi6uXs-unsplash-e1608040393505.jpg229600Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-12-15 08:53:252022-11-21 11:51:204 Communication Exercises For Married Couples
Here are four common issues you can fix... and quick!
Every couple experiences little instances of communication breakdown. It just happens. Of course, the little things can gradually chip away at your connectedness in your marriage. Small drops of water from a leaky pipe over time lead to big problems. Minor bad communication habits are like that. Not that big of a thing in the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/jonathan-borba-V7_DdzG8qws-unsplash.jpg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-08 09:26:032022-11-21 11:52:04How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
“But we’re only just friends!” or “I have to talk to Karen in Accounting for work!” These can be the typical responses from people having emotional or “virtual” affairs. According to several sources like psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell at The University of Tennessee Knoxville, data indicates that emotional or “virtual” affairs…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-freestocksorg-349494.jpg13652048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2020-12-02 08:59:492020-12-02 14:55:27How To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair
Being a better talker and listener can give you better everything else.
What if I told you you could say some magic words that would take your sex life to the next level in your marriage? Let’s try it. Ready? Say them aloud slowly and clearly: Koh-mew-nick-hey-shon. Did it work? Probably not. Magic words don’t really work that way. But there’s good news! There is something that…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-helena-lopes-2055224.jpg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-01 08:53:072021-12-21 10:24:093 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
So, what do you do if you think your spouse’s friends are hurting your marriage? It’s essential to proceed with great care. Your goal is to voice your concern in a way that’s respectful to your spouse. How you approach the subject can move you toward resolution or, in the opposite direction, toward conflict. Proceeding with…
As Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude and how it impacts me and my relationships. Think for a minute about what it feels like when someone says to you, “Your smile made my day!” or “Thank you for checking in on me.” Several studies confirm the benefits of being grateful: Grateful people…
Friendships are a valuable possession. Without them, you have an increased risk of loneliness. With them come connection and support. But what about when there’s a question mark as to whether the friendship is helping or hurting your marriage? Friendships can play a crucial role in the health of your marriage. I’ve had friends support…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/clem-onojeghuo-igTY-Ma86ZQ-unsplash.jpg18222048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-11-16 16:35:092020-11-17 09:24:17Are My Friends Hurting My Marriage?
How to Talk About Sex in Marriage
Awkwardness. Uncertainty. Embarrassment. Shame. These common emotions (and others) can keep married couples from talking about sex. You’re not alone if talking about sex with your spouse is uncomfortable. But let’s get real: you’re more likely to have satisfying sex if you talk about it together. Most couples want to enjoy their sex life, but…
10 Things You Need to Know About Marriage
If you’re dating, in a long-term relationship, or engaged, you may be wondering what marriage is like. You probably have friends with good marriages and those who have so-so marriages. Perhaps you’ve got questions, but you don’t know exactly how to ask. Questions like: Is it hard? Is it worth it? Why get married? Well,…
Help! Our Intimacy is Gone
You expect a campfire to burn hot and then turn into ashes. But you didn’t expect the fire to die down in your marriage, did you? Love… sex… connection… You expected them to go through ruts, maybe. Highs and lows? Sure. But nobody expects to wake up one day and realize the intimacy is gone.…
Help! My Husband is Boring
You probably never thought it would get to this. You always seemed to like the same shows, movies, and activities, and you spent all your free time together. Now, it feels like you NEVER do anything together, or that your husband is just boring and never WANTS to do anything with you. If you’re honest,…
Should I Be Upset That My Husband Watches Porn?
So your husband watches porn, and you’re wondering how you should feel about it. Perhaps you’re frustrated and wondering if you have a reason to be upset. Or maybe it doesn’t bother you, and that’s what bothers you. It’s probably hard to know just what to feel or think or do with this. Pornography can…
I’m Trying to Save My Marriage, but My Spouse Isn’t
Each new year, people examine things they want to change or improve. Some people want to work on their marriage. That’s a worthy goal, but what if you’re one of those people who’s trying to save their marriage, and you feel like your spouse isn’t trying? That can be painful, for sure. Marriage is two…
We’re Living With Our In-Laws and It’s Destroying Our Marriage
Maybe when you started living with your in-laws, you didn’t think it would be all that bad. After all, they raised your spouse. But now, living with them feels like it’s destroying your marriage. Criticism. Judgment. Parenting critiques. Lack of boundaries. Arguments. Living with them seems to be impacting your marriage—not for better, but for…
What 2020 Has Taught Us About Marriage
2020 is finally in the rearview mirror, so let’s all breathe a collective sigh of relief. It was a challenging year for many. But as we close out that chapter, it’s good to reflect on lessons learned. I want to focus specifically on what 2020 has taught us about marriage. Many declared a year of…
How to Find Common Interests With Your Spouse
There are two kinds of spouses in the world. (Ugh. I can’t stand statements like this.) Those who think it’s not important to share some common interests with their spouse. Those who think not having common interests is the end of the world. (Or marriage.) They’re both wrong. “I don’t think our marriage can work.…
Do I Have To Tell My Spouse Everything?
The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth. -Niels Bohr Do I have to tell my spouse everything? Do you want your spouse to tell you everything? It depends. It really does. What do we know for sure? Once you marry…
The Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise in a Relationship
We throw the words compromise and sacrifice around quite a bit in relationships. But what exactly do they mean? And don’t they mean the same thing? Well, the short answer is, not exactly. It’s complicated, kind of like relationships are sometimes. Read on to see what I mean. Both sacrifice and compromise require someone to…
I Love My Spouse, But I’m Thinking About Having an Affair
How can you love your spouse and be thinking about having an affair? Is that even possible? The whole thing is super confusing. Well, believe it or not, there may be a logical explanation. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says couples need both closeness and distance to sustain a level of sexual intimacy…
Why People Really Have Affairs (It’s Not Always Just About Sex)
Marital affairs are kind of like rust. On the surface, it’s apparent that a single, ugly event has happened. But underneath is a complex process of chemical reactions and driving forces that have built up over time. Affairs are complicated like that. And finding out why people really have affairs can be even more complicated.…
4 Communication Exercises For Married Couples
Healthy communication lies at the root of any successful relationship. In marriage, this is even more of a necessity. Like our muscles, our communication skills also need to be worked out. There are practices we can make part of our regular routines that will strengthen communication in our marriage. Here are four communication exercises for…
How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
Every couple experiences little instances of communication breakdown. It just happens. Of course, the little things can gradually chip away at your connectedness in your marriage. Small drops of water from a leaky pipe over time lead to big problems. Minor bad communication habits are like that. Not that big of a thing in the…
How To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair
“But we’re only just friends!” or “I have to talk to Karen in Accounting for work!” These can be the typical responses from people having emotional or “virtual” affairs. According to several sources like psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell at The University of Tennessee Knoxville, data indicates that emotional or “virtual” affairs…
3 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
What if I told you you could say some magic words that would take your sex life to the next level in your marriage? Let’s try it. Ready? Say them aloud slowly and clearly: Koh-mew-nick-hey-shon. Did it work? Probably not. Magic words don’t really work that way. But there’s good news! There is something that…
Are My Spouse’s Friends Hurting My Marriage?
So, what do you do if you think your spouse’s friends are hurting your marriage? It’s essential to proceed with great care. Your goal is to voice your concern in a way that’s respectful to your spouse. How you approach the subject can move you toward resolution or, in the opposite direction, toward conflict. Proceeding with…
How Practicing Gratitude Can Strengthen Relationships
As Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude and how it impacts me and my relationships. Think for a minute about what it feels like when someone says to you, “Your smile made my day!” or “Thank you for checking in on me.” Several studies confirm the benefits of being grateful: Grateful people…
Are My Friends Hurting My Marriage?
Friendships are a valuable possession. Without them, you have an increased risk of loneliness. With them come connection and support. But what about when there’s a question mark as to whether the friendship is helping or hurting your marriage? Friendships can play a crucial role in the health of your marriage. I’ve had friends support…
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