A new year brings new opportunities, new goals, and a fresh start. As we enter a new year, many are making resolutions with a desire to improve something. According to a survey by Finder, 45% of Americans will make a health-related New Year’s resolution So, as I sat down to write, I thought about some…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/krakenimages-4l8UH4G2_Dg-unsplash-e1609772175277.jpg438900Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-01-04 09:56:322021-08-17 11:50:085 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Fit
Every relationship requires a little give and take.
We throw the words compromise and sacrifice around quite a bit in relationships. But what exactly do they mean? And don’t they mean the same thing? Well, the short answer is, not exactly. It’s complicated, kind of like relationships are sometimes. Read on to see what I mean. Both sacrifice and compromise require someone to…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/nathan-dumlao-c_uU7eMrr0M-unsplash-e1608666608822.jpg367900Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-22 14:50:302021-01-05 15:45:20The Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise in a Relationship
How can you love your spouse and be thinking about having an affair? Is that even possible? The whole thing is super confusing. Well, believe it or not, there may be a logical explanation. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says couples need both closeness and distance to sustain a level of sexual intimacy…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/matteo-raw-h0ixKuuftQY-unsplash.jpg13652048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-12-21 12:04:332022-03-04 12:13:46I Love My Spouse, But I’m Thinking About Having an Affair
Get cozy and grow closer with this merry little list that's guaranteed to make the holidays sweeter!
The holidays are the perfect time for couples to experience closeness and connection in the spirit of the season. Try out a few of these fun holiday date ideas with the one you love most! Watch your favorite Christmas movie with some gourmet hot chocolate. Pick up some donuts and coffee and visit neighborhoods to…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/AdobeStock_281077623.jpeg13642048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-16 08:48:102020-12-16 12:22:2825 Fun Holiday Date Ideas for Couples
Protect (and maybe even save) your marriage by being open with your spouse and talking about these ideas.
Marital affairs are kind of like rust. On the surface, it’s apparent that a single, ugly event has happened. But underneath is a complex process of chemical reactions and driving forces that have built up over time. Affairs are complicated like that. And finding out why people really have affairs can be even more complicated.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-luizclas-1824684.jpg34565184Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-15 09:02:432020-12-15 15:07:29Why People Really Have Affairs (It’s Not Always Just About Sex)
Get ready to work out those communication kinks and keep the conversation going!
Healthy communication lies at the root of any successful relationship. In marriage, this is even more of a necessity. Like our muscles, our communication skills also need to be worked out. There are practices we can make part of our regular routines that will strengthen communication in our marriage. Here are four communication exercises for…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/dillon-kydd-TCBdkbi6uXs-unsplash-e1608040393505.jpg229600Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-12-15 08:53:252022-11-21 11:51:204 Communication Exercises For Married Couples
Here are four common issues you can fix... and quick!
Every couple experiences little instances of communication breakdown. It just happens. Of course, the little things can gradually chip away at your connectedness in your marriage. Small drops of water from a leaky pipe over time lead to big problems. Minor bad communication habits are like that. Not that big of a thing in the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/jonathan-borba-V7_DdzG8qws-unsplash.jpg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-08 09:26:032022-11-21 11:52:04How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
“But we’re only just friends!” or “I have to talk to Karen in Accounting for work!” These can be the typical responses from people having emotional or “virtual” affairs. According to several sources like psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell at The University of Tennessee Knoxville, data indicates that emotional or “virtual” affairs…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-freestocksorg-349494.jpg13652048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2020-12-02 08:59:492020-12-02 14:55:27How To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair
Being a better talker and listener can give you better everything else.
What if I told you you could say some magic words that would take your sex life to the next level in your marriage? Let’s try it. Ready? Say them aloud slowly and clearly: Koh-mew-nick-hey-shon. Did it work? Probably not. Magic words don’t really work that way. But there’s good news! There is something that…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/pexels-helena-lopes-2055224.jpg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-12-01 08:53:072021-12-21 10:24:093 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
So, what do you do if you think your spouse’s friends are hurting your marriage? It’s essential to proceed with great care. Your goal is to voice your concern in a way that’s respectful to your spouse. How you approach the subject can move you toward resolution or, in the opposite direction, toward conflict. Proceeding with…
As Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude and how it impacts me and my relationships. Think for a minute about what it feels like when someone says to you, “Your smile made my day!” or “Thank you for checking in on me.” Several studies confirm the benefits of being grateful: Grateful people…
Friendships are a valuable possession. Without them, you have an increased risk of loneliness. With them come connection and support. But what about when there’s a question mark as to whether the friendship is helping or hurting your marriage? Friendships can play a crucial role in the health of your marriage. I’ve had friends support…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/clem-onojeghuo-igTY-Ma86ZQ-unsplash.jpg18222048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-11-16 16:35:092020-11-17 09:24:17Are My Friends Hurting My Marriage?
Thankfulness doesn’t have to be unique to Thanksgiving Day. Gratitude is key to any successful marriage, and when you show your spouse you’re thankful for them, they feel loved and appreciated. We all want to feel valued. This is foundational to a healthy, happy marriage. But how do I show my spouse gratitude? Here are…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/AdobeStock_188607104.jpeg13652048Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-11-16 15:03:382022-06-21 15:19:267 Ways To Show Your Spouse You’re Thankful For Them
You may feel differently about politics, but that doesn't have to change how you feel about each other.
Finally. After endless campaign ads, talking heads, polls and vote counting, the election is over. Now you’ve gotta figure out how to move forward and keep the election from ruining your marriage, especially if you live in a house divided. One of you may be gloating over your candidate’s victory. But your spouse is licking…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/R_AdobeStock_204310730.jpg11481721Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-11-10 12:05:352021-01-07 15:17:48How to Keep the Election from Ruining Your Marriage
You can support them in their interests because you care for them!
You may find yourself in the spot where you and your spouse don’t have much in common in the way of interests or hobbies. Maybe you think you have nothing in common. And you may wonder, should I care about my spouse’s interests? If I don’t share my spouse’s interests, does that mean I don’t…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/ryan-jacobson-_YzzoqKEzXM-unsplash-1.jpg20481365Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-11-09 16:03:002022-05-10 11:06:36Why It’s Important To Care About Your Spouse’s Interests
How much do I need to have in common with my spouse for our marriage to be healthy and happy? Do we need to like all the same things for this to work? These are valid questions faced by many engaged or newly-married couples. We all want to be compatible with our partner, we want…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/priscilla-du-preez-xM4wUnvbCKk-unsplash.jpg20481365Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-11-09 08:56:032021-03-17 13:07:295 Things You Should Have In Common With Your Spouse
You can let your differences complement each other.
When I first started dating my husband 32 years ago (but who’s counting?), the first thing I noticed about him besides his legs was how different we were from each other. I was concerned we didn’t have many things in common. Would this be a stumbling block to our future marriage? Now, I see the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/nathan-dumlao-EGHDhHUpEQQ-unsplash-e1604929932181.jpg202600Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-11-09 08:52:312022-05-09 13:05:045 Things You Don’t Need to Have in Common With Your Spouse
You can enjoy deeper intimacy through conversation.
“Why can’t we just talk about it?” Couples should know: Communication is essential in any relationship, but communication is at the core of marriage. Poor, unclear, or sporadic communication in marriage is its own problem, but unhealthy communication also makes it difficult to work on other marital issues like disagreements related to finances, sex, and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/oz-seyrek-jmhHtG3gpBE-unsplash-e1604331720455.jpg240600Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-11-02 14:15:462022-04-28 11:06:534 Things Every Couple Should Know About Communication In Marriage
Friends are people we confide in, have fun with, and can be ourselves around. Does this sound like your spouse? If so, fantastic! It’s great to be best friends with the person you share your life with. If not, never fear; you can be a better friend to your spouse. Let’s be real for a…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/chewy-DR6wPYR2DRc-unsplash-e1604331770952.jpg274600Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2020-11-02 10:43:032020-11-03 11:29:34How To Be A Better Friend To Your Spouse
How gritty are you? Is your marriage gritty? Do you teach your kids to be gritty? In her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Harvard-trained psychologist and researcher Angela Duckworth examines what it takes to stick things out and accomplish long-term goals. Grit has everything to do with how we do family relationships. …
5 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Fit
A new year brings new opportunities, new goals, and a fresh start. As we enter a new year, many are making resolutions with a desire to improve something. According to a survey by Finder, 45% of Americans will make a health-related New Year’s resolution So, as I sat down to write, I thought about some…
The Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise in a Relationship
We throw the words compromise and sacrifice around quite a bit in relationships. But what exactly do they mean? And don’t they mean the same thing? Well, the short answer is, not exactly. It’s complicated, kind of like relationships are sometimes. Read on to see what I mean. Both sacrifice and compromise require someone to…
I Love My Spouse, But I’m Thinking About Having an Affair
How can you love your spouse and be thinking about having an affair? Is that even possible? The whole thing is super confusing. Well, believe it or not, there may be a logical explanation. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says couples need both closeness and distance to sustain a level of sexual intimacy…
25 Fun Holiday Date Ideas for Couples
The holidays are the perfect time for couples to experience closeness and connection in the spirit of the season. Try out a few of these fun holiday date ideas with the one you love most! Watch your favorite Christmas movie with some gourmet hot chocolate. Pick up some donuts and coffee and visit neighborhoods to…
Why People Really Have Affairs (It’s Not Always Just About Sex)
Marital affairs are kind of like rust. On the surface, it’s apparent that a single, ugly event has happened. But underneath is a complex process of chemical reactions and driving forces that have built up over time. Affairs are complicated like that. And finding out why people really have affairs can be even more complicated.…
4 Communication Exercises For Married Couples
Healthy communication lies at the root of any successful relationship. In marriage, this is even more of a necessity. Like our muscles, our communication skills also need to be worked out. There are practices we can make part of our regular routines that will strengthen communication in our marriage. Here are four communication exercises for…
How To Improve Bad Communication In Marriage
Every couple experiences little instances of communication breakdown. It just happens. Of course, the little things can gradually chip away at your connectedness in your marriage. Small drops of water from a leaky pipe over time lead to big problems. Minor bad communication habits are like that. Not that big of a thing in the…
How To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair
“But we’re only just friends!” or “I have to talk to Karen in Accounting for work!” These can be the typical responses from people having emotional or “virtual” affairs. According to several sources like psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell at The University of Tennessee Knoxville, data indicates that emotional or “virtual” affairs…
3 Ways Good Communication Can Enhance Sex In Marriage
What if I told you you could say some magic words that would take your sex life to the next level in your marriage? Let’s try it. Ready? Say them aloud slowly and clearly: Koh-mew-nick-hey-shon. Did it work? Probably not. Magic words don’t really work that way. But there’s good news! There is something that…
Are My Spouse’s Friends Hurting My Marriage?
So, what do you do if you think your spouse’s friends are hurting your marriage? It’s essential to proceed with great care. Your goal is to voice your concern in a way that’s respectful to your spouse. How you approach the subject can move you toward resolution or, in the opposite direction, toward conflict. Proceeding with…
How Practicing Gratitude Can Strengthen Relationships
As Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude and how it impacts me and my relationships. Think for a minute about what it feels like when someone says to you, “Your smile made my day!” or “Thank you for checking in on me.” Several studies confirm the benefits of being grateful: Grateful people…
Are My Friends Hurting My Marriage?
Friendships are a valuable possession. Without them, you have an increased risk of loneliness. With them come connection and support. But what about when there’s a question mark as to whether the friendship is helping or hurting your marriage? Friendships can play a crucial role in the health of your marriage. I’ve had friends support…
7 Ways To Show Your Spouse You’re Thankful For Them
Thankfulness doesn’t have to be unique to Thanksgiving Day. Gratitude is key to any successful marriage, and when you show your spouse you’re thankful for them, they feel loved and appreciated. We all want to feel valued. This is foundational to a healthy, happy marriage. But how do I show my spouse gratitude? Here are…
How to Keep the Election from Ruining Your Marriage
Finally. After endless campaign ads, talking heads, polls and vote counting, the election is over. Now you’ve gotta figure out how to move forward and keep the election from ruining your marriage, especially if you live in a house divided. One of you may be gloating over your candidate’s victory. But your spouse is licking…
Why It’s Important To Care About Your Spouse’s Interests
You may find yourself in the spot where you and your spouse don’t have much in common in the way of interests or hobbies. Maybe you think you have nothing in common. And you may wonder, should I care about my spouse’s interests? If I don’t share my spouse’s interests, does that mean I don’t…
5 Things You Should Have In Common With Your Spouse
How much do I need to have in common with my spouse for our marriage to be healthy and happy? Do we need to like all the same things for this to work? These are valid questions faced by many engaged or newly-married couples. We all want to be compatible with our partner, we want…
5 Things You Don’t Need to Have in Common With Your Spouse
When I first started dating my husband 32 years ago (but who’s counting?), the first thing I noticed about him besides his legs was how different we were from each other. I was concerned we didn’t have many things in common. Would this be a stumbling block to our future marriage? Now, I see the…
4 Things Every Couple Should Know About Communication In Marriage
“Why can’t we just talk about it?” Couples should know: Communication is essential in any relationship, but communication is at the core of marriage. Poor, unclear, or sporadic communication in marriage is its own problem, but unhealthy communication also makes it difficult to work on other marital issues like disagreements related to finances, sex, and…
How To Be A Better Friend To Your Spouse
Friends are people we confide in, have fun with, and can be ourselves around. Does this sound like your spouse? If so, fantastic! It’s great to be best friends with the person you share your life with. If not, never fear; you can be a better friend to your spouse. Let’s be real for a…
Is Grit the Secret Ingredient to Successful Relationships?
How gritty are you? Is your marriage gritty? Do you teach your kids to be gritty? In her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Harvard-trained psychologist and researcher Angela Duckworth examines what it takes to stick things out and accomplish long-term goals. Grit has everything to do with how we do family relationships. …
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