Cheating is the ultimate violation of marital trust. It can destroy families and ruin lives. The bottom line is that if you are even wondering about your spouse’s faithfulness, at minimum, there is some important relationship work to be done! In general, is there a lot of cheating going on? Is there a “cheating type?”…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/noah-silliman-gzhyKEo_cbU-unsplash.jpg13652048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2019-08-29 09:22:062020-08-13 15:32:16I Think My Spouse Is Cheating. What Do I Do?
Learning how to lead in a new marriage is hard. Trust me. I’ve got the scratches to prove it! “WILL!! YOU’RE PUSHING ME UNDER A TREE!!!” It was at this moment I realized my husband and I should not have gotten in the same canoe on this family trip. You see, my husband (the most…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/bob-orchard-9v4FScFlTDg-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Caroline Henryhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2019-08-19 08:49:312020-10-27 11:22:54Learning How to Lead (and knowing when not to) in A New Marriage
Controlling your emotions is hard, regardless of your age. When you’re in the checkout line at the store and a 2-year-old has a meltdown because they can’t have a candy bar, nobody is shocked because well, they are two. It’s totally another story when an adult who is unable to regulate their emotions has a…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/daiga-ellaby-7edWO30e32k-unsplash.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2019-07-29 06:30:002020-10-01 14:47:50Tips for Controlling Your Emotions
If you are 50 or older and have been married for 30 years or more, the latest headlines might have you wondering if your marriage is in trouble and you don’t even know it.Articles from Pew Research Center, the Wall Street Journal and other publications with titles like, Led by Baby Boomers, Divorce Rates Climb for America’s 50+ Population, and The Divorce Rate is at a 40-Year-Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older, seem to be painting a grim picture. Should people be worried?Professors…
Is it even possible to fight nice with your spouse? When my kids were younger and they disagreed (or worse) I would tell them, “Boys, fight nice!” This always got concerned looks from any other parents hanging around. “Shouldn’t you be telling them not to fight?” “Nope,” I would stand my ground. “I want them…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/phillip-goldsberry-1507556-unsplash-scaled.jpg13662048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2019-06-03 16:46:472020-10-01 15:47:5710 Rules To “Fight Nice” With Your Spouse
An angry wife greeted her husband, who was late getting home again from work, as he walked through the door. As was their usual pattern, an argument followed. This has been an ongoing issue between the two for several months with no apparent resolution in sight. It is obvious that some fear impacts their marriage.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/priscilla-du-preez-9vHPCKymSh0-unsplash.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2019-05-20 06:30:002021-08-17 12:37:17How Fear Impacts Your Marriage
“Happy anniversary!” she said as she threw a gift to (at) me while I laid in bed watching television. My wife had waited until midnight on our anniversary just to make absolutely certain that I had forgotten our special day. You’ve seen it in a movie or on television- someone has forgotten their wedding anniversary…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/crew-56839-unsplash-scaled.jpg13672048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2019-05-09 09:57:092023-03-14 10:22:58Does Your Marriage Have Backbone?
*Note: I’m an early riser. Always have been, always will be. My husband, on the other hand… not so much. Being newlywed and trying to stick to a routine, I’ve learned to let him sleep until I’ve had my coffee, had my shower, and have start working on breakfast. And for about a month, it…
“What are you thinking about?” “Nothing…” Sound familiar? Ever wonder what they’re really thinking about? Well, today, we’re going to find out. Usually, that “nothing,” actually means “nothing important,” and that can actually be a really fun place in their mind for you to see! It’s all about meaningless conversations! Ask any couple, anywhere, at…
There’s nothing worse than getting into the same argument, again and again and again. Amirite? The sheer repetition is enough to drive one MAD. And sadly, that tends to happen quite a bit in marriage. When we get really upset, we can go from zero to 60 in two seconds flat. We don’t want to…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/priscilla-du-preez-1416996-unsplash-scaled.jpg13662048Tamara Slocumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngTamara Slocum2019-03-19 11:53:372020-10-08 11:04:00Held Hostage by Anger: 6 Steps to STOP an Argument
During the 2019 Chattanooga Women’s Leadership Institute’s IMPACT dinner in February, Katty Kay, a British journalist, author and broadcaster, spoke about the importance of confidence and competence, specifically in women.Kay shared that both she and her husband travel a lot. Whenever she was headed out of town, she lined up extra babysitters, made sure the refrigerator was stocked and made lists: lots of lists of all the kids’ activities and such to ensure that her husband did…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/sharon-mccutcheon-pryAUCXGaU8-unsplash-scaled.jpg13662048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2019-03-04 06:30:002020-10-09 14:39:36What Husbands Need From Their Wives
It’s been 10 years since Ron and Nan Deal unexpectedly said goodbye to their middle son, Connor.“You never expect to outlive your children,” says Ron Deal. “We actually joked about the fact that Connor, who was 12 at the time, was the healthiest of our three boys. The other two could come down with the flu and Connor kept on trucking.
Connect and fall in love all over again... by talking.
How do you know if love will last? Some say you don’t, that it’s just the luck of the draw. Many believe that the more a couple has in common, the more likely they will be compatible over time. Others say, not so fast. With more than 40 years of love and relationship research under…
Oh, Valentine’s Day – the one day a year it’s okay to wear pink and red together, tell total strangers you love them, and spend way too much money on chocolate. And don’t forget about celebrating your overwhelming, joyous love for your partner! Right? For so many couples, Valentine’s Day is more of a routine…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/freestocks-org-191995-unsplash-1-scaled.jpg13662048Caroline Henryhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2019-02-05 11:07:002020-10-15 12:51:345 Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day Every Day
Opposites attract. They really do! Then you get married and often opposites repel. When my wife and I began dating in college, we couldn’t have been more different. Ours was really a case of “opposites attract.” Frankly, the differences were enchanting, fascinating and intriguing. Then we got married. About six to eight months in, those…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/AdobeStock_224849886-scaled.jpg10302048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2019-01-28 11:42:432020-10-15 14:40:18What To Do When You And Your Spouse Are Really Opposites
“Money, money, money. That’s all we seem to argue about.” “She spends too much money at the grocery store on stuff we don’t need.” “He always wants to eat out.” “She’s always buying new clothes.” “We’re not buying the furniture he wants. It costs too much.” “He won’t let me loan my sister a few…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/rupixen-com-Q59HmzK38eQ-unsplash.jpg8531280Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2019-01-28 11:09:032022-04-22 12:37:27Help! We fight about money all the time…
Any couple involved in a remarriage can tell you there are definitely some complicating factors. Extended family is even more extended. There are typically at least three people involved in parenting decisions, if not more. Visitation with the other parent involves consulting more schedules, and co-parenting is often complicated. Here are some blended family facts…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/jonathan-daniels-E65bFF7W1-o-unsplash.jpg8541280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2019-01-07 06:30:002020-10-15 16:19:40Building a Brilliantly Blended Family
Some people eagerly anticipate the arrival of a new year, hoping for new opportunities. Others feel stuck in a rut and could really care less. At the ripe old age of 28, Dr. Jeff Fray, psychologist/consultant, had met all of his life goals.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/FindingPurposeInTheNewYear-markos-mant-672369-unsplash.jpg4501300Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-12-31 00:00:002021-01-05 13:46:31Finding Purpose in the New Year
If you’ve ever been a caregiver during the holidays, you know how stressful it can be when caregiving tasks already fill your day. Heap the expectations of a joy-filled season on top of that, and there is real potential for feelings of guilt, anger, resentment and complete fatigue to take over. Many caregivers are constantly…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/1300x450TipsForCaregiversDuringTheHolidays-chris-benson-489183-unsplash.jpg4501300Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-12-10 06:30:002020-10-16 16:10:40Tips for A Caregiver During the Holidays
A few years ago my mom attended the Wednesday night program at her place of worship. Afterward, she called me and shared the speaker’s topic: “Your Kids Don’t Want Your Stuff.” Then she asked me the dreaded question: “You really don’t want all these treasures I have accumulated through the years?”While I appreciate the sentimental significance of some of her things, I honestly appreciated the speaker’s point. This is just one of the complicated moments the second half of life often brings.Our daughter sur…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/dylan-sauerwein-gjTm26saNQk-unsplash.jpg19191280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-10-15 06:30:002020-10-23 14:52:36Embracing the Second Half of Life
I Think My Spouse Is Cheating. What Do I Do?
Cheating is the ultimate violation of marital trust. It can destroy families and ruin lives. The bottom line is that if you are even wondering about your spouse’s faithfulness, at minimum, there is some important relationship work to be done! In general, is there a lot of cheating going on? Is there a “cheating type?”…
Learning How to Lead (and knowing when not to) in A New Marriage
Learning how to lead in a new marriage is hard. Trust me. I’ve got the scratches to prove it! “WILL!! YOU’RE PUSHING ME UNDER A TREE!!!” It was at this moment I realized my husband and I should not have gotten in the same canoe on this family trip. You see, my husband (the most…
Tips for Controlling Your Emotions
Controlling your emotions is hard, regardless of your age. When you’re in the checkout line at the store and a 2-year-old has a meltdown because they can’t have a candy bar, nobody is shocked because well, they are two. It’s totally another story when an adult who is unable to regulate their emotions has a…
5 Ways to Help Prevent Gray Divorce
If you are 50 or older and have been married for 30 years or more, the latest headlines might have you wondering if your marriage is in trouble and you don’t even know it.Articles from Pew Research Center, the Wall Street Journal and other publications with titles like, Led by Baby Boomers, Divorce Rates Climb for America’s 50+ Population, and The Divorce Rate is at a 40-Year-Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older, seem to be painting a grim picture. Should people be worried?Professors…
10 Rules To “Fight Nice” With Your Spouse
Is it even possible to fight nice with your spouse? When my kids were younger and they disagreed (or worse) I would tell them, “Boys, fight nice!” This always got concerned looks from any other parents hanging around. “Shouldn’t you be telling them not to fight?” “Nope,” I would stand my ground. “I want them…
How Fear Impacts Your Marriage
An angry wife greeted her husband, who was late getting home again from work, as he walked through the door. As was their usual pattern, an argument followed. This has been an ongoing issue between the two for several months with no apparent resolution in sight. It is obvious that some fear impacts their marriage.…
Does Your Marriage Have Backbone?
“Happy anniversary!” she said as she threw a gift to (at) me while I laid in bed watching television. My wife had waited until midnight on our anniversary just to make absolutely certain that I had forgotten our special day. You’ve seen it in a movie or on television- someone has forgotten their wedding anniversary…
The One-Bathroom Apartment Dilemma
*Note: I’m an early riser. Always have been, always will be. My husband, on the other hand… not so much. Being newlywed and trying to stick to a routine, I’ve learned to let him sleep until I’ve had my coffee, had my shower, and have start working on breakfast. And for about a month, it…
The Importance of MeaningLESS Conversations
“What are you thinking about?” “Nothing…” Sound familiar? Ever wonder what they’re really thinking about? Well, today, we’re going to find out. Usually, that “nothing,” actually means “nothing important,” and that can actually be a really fun place in their mind for you to see! It’s all about meaningless conversations! Ask any couple, anywhere, at…
Held Hostage by Anger: 6 Steps to STOP an Argument
There’s nothing worse than getting into the same argument, again and again and again. Amirite? The sheer repetition is enough to drive one MAD. And sadly, that tends to happen quite a bit in marriage. When we get really upset, we can go from zero to 60 in two seconds flat. We don’t want to…
What Husbands Need From Their Wives
During the 2019 Chattanooga Women’s Leadership Institute’s IMPACT dinner in February, Katty Kay, a British journalist, author and broadcaster, spoke about the importance of confidence and competence, specifically in women.Kay shared that both she and her husband travel a lot. Whenever she was headed out of town, she lined up extra babysitters, made sure the refrigerator was stocked and made lists: lots of lists of all the kids’ activities and such to ensure that her husband did…
How to Handle Grief
It’s been 10 years since Ron and Nan Deal unexpectedly said goodbye to their middle son, Connor.“You never expect to outlive your children,” says Ron Deal. “We actually joked about the fact that Connor, who was 12 at the time, was the healthiest of our three boys. The other two could come down with the flu and Connor kept on trucking.
8 Must-Have Conversations for Couples
How do you know if love will last? Some say you don’t, that it’s just the luck of the draw. Many believe that the more a couple has in common, the more likely they will be compatible over time. Others say, not so fast. With more than 40 years of love and relationship research under…
5 Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day Every Day
Oh, Valentine’s Day – the one day a year it’s okay to wear pink and red together, tell total strangers you love them, and spend way too much money on chocolate. And don’t forget about celebrating your overwhelming, joyous love for your partner! Right? For so many couples, Valentine’s Day is more of a routine…
What To Do When You And Your Spouse Are Really Opposites
Opposites attract. They really do! Then you get married and often opposites repel. When my wife and I began dating in college, we couldn’t have been more different. Ours was really a case of “opposites attract.” Frankly, the differences were enchanting, fascinating and intriguing. Then we got married. About six to eight months in, those…
Help! We fight about money all the time…
“Money, money, money. That’s all we seem to argue about.” “She spends too much money at the grocery store on stuff we don’t need.” “He always wants to eat out.” “She’s always buying new clothes.” “We’re not buying the furniture he wants. It costs too much.” “He won’t let me loan my sister a few…
Building a Brilliantly Blended Family
Any couple involved in a remarriage can tell you there are definitely some complicating factors. Extended family is even more extended. There are typically at least three people involved in parenting decisions, if not more. Visitation with the other parent involves consulting more schedules, and co-parenting is often complicated. Here are some blended family facts…
Finding Purpose in the New Year
Some people eagerly anticipate the arrival of a new year, hoping for new opportunities. Others feel stuck in a rut and could really care less. At the ripe old age of 28, Dr. Jeff Fray, psychologist/consultant, had met all of his life goals.
Tips for A Caregiver During the Holidays
If you’ve ever been a caregiver during the holidays, you know how stressful it can be when caregiving tasks already fill your day. Heap the expectations of a joy-filled season on top of that, and there is real potential for feelings of guilt, anger, resentment and complete fatigue to take over. Many caregivers are constantly…
Embracing the Second Half of Life
A few years ago my mom attended the Wednesday night program at her place of worship. Afterward, she called me and shared the speaker’s topic: “Your Kids Don’t Want Your Stuff.” Then she asked me the dreaded question: “You really don’t want all these treasures I have accumulated through the years?”While I appreciate the sentimental significance of some of her things, I honestly appreciated the speaker’s point. This is just one of the complicated moments the second half of life often brings.Our daughter sur…