Does marriage matter? People have been asking this question for decades. For Richer, For Poorer: How Family Structures Economic Success in America examined how family structure impacts the economic fortunes of American families. Dr. Brad Wilcox, senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies and Robert Lerman, professor of economics at American University, conducted the…
As part of her job, Amy Boulware walks alongside caregivers. So when she found herself caregiving for her grandmother and mother, she thought she had the tools she needed. “I did not expect to be caregiving for two,” says Boulware. “My grandmother moved closer so we could take care of her. Shortly after she moved,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/josh-appel-0nkFvdcM-X4-unsplash-e1583955291711.jpg7451280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-23 00:00:002020-10-30 15:02:53Caring for the Caregiver
Eric was married with two children. Life at home was good, and he considered his relationship with his wife to be healthy. They frequently spent time together and intimacy between the two of them was good.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Affair-Proofing-Your-Marriage.png9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002020-11-02 10:56:43Affair-Proofing Your Marriage
When was the last time you and your mate played together? Seriously… can you remember the last time you did something crazy fun together? In far too many marriages, couples throw play out the window and replace it with serious adult responsibilities like careers, raising children, taking care of elderly parents, household chores and community…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Couples-That-Play-Together-Web-Image-scaled.jpg6302048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002022-08-24 09:29:40Couples Who Play Together
In his song Too Cold at Home, Mark Chesnutt sings, “It’s too hot to fish, too hot for golf and too cold at home.” Even if it’s boiling outside, it can be cold at home when it comes to your marriage. Over time, many people seem to be willing to let sexual intimacy fly right…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/priscilla-du-preez-vuXS3RvU7dw-unsplash.jpg5481280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002020-11-02 13:56:215 Ways to Stoke the Fire of Passion in Marriage
During the Yamadas’ adventurous marriage, there haven’t been many dull moments. “I wouldn’t describe either of us as risk-takers, but we are definitely not afraid to try new things,” says Mrs. Yamada. “We enjoy ballroom dancing, mountain biking and scuba diving, but I couldn’t see either of us bungee jumping.” Several years ago, the Yamadas…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/action-active-activity-adult-386024.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002020-11-03 12:46:554 Keys for Taking Up a Hobby Together
David and Claudia Arp believe that fun in marriage is serious business. They have written several books on marriage together, including the 10 Great Dates series, and they love helping couples jazz up their marriage. “In our 30-plus years of marriage, we have learned important things like, if you don’t say what is on your mind…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/sept-commercial-EnrusDZBZBc-unsplash.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002020-11-03 14:24:13Fun Ways to Jazz Up Your Marriage
Do you remember the date of your wedding anniversary? If you didn’t cheat and look at the engraved date on your wedding band, give yourself some points.How many years have you been married? If you had to think to figure it out, take away some points.How did you celebrate your last anniversary? Did you remember without having to ask your spouse what you did?If the answer is yes, give yourself a few more points. Add some points to your total if you did something fun as a coupl…
Engaged couples spend endless amounts of time planning for their special day. In the excitement of wedding showers, choosing the flowers and the cake, and finding the perfect dress, some wonder if they can make it work. They don’t necessarily question their love for each other, although some actually do. It’s more about wondering if…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/toimetaja-tolkeburoo-KQfxVDHGCUg-unsplash-1.jpg8541280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-02 00:00:002021-11-23 09:44:257 Ways to Reduce Your Risk for Divorce Before Marriage
Popular talk shows imply that everybody intentionally cheats in marriage.“In reality, most people don’t cheat,” says Kristina Coop Gordon, co-author of Getting Past the Affair. “Based on research, approximately 40 percent of married people cheat on their spouse. Studies indicate the person most likely to cheat is someone who is dissatisfied with their relationship and/or feels insecure about themselves.
Over the past 30 years, Gary and Carrie Oliver have worked with literally thousands of couples. Some were preparing for marriage while others were trying to figure out how to make their marriage work. “Every couple we have worked with began their marriage with a proclamation of their love and commitment to stay together ‘until…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Mad-About-Us-Part-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-02 00:00:002020-11-03 16:10:46Mad About Us, Part 1
Read Mad About Us, Part 1 here.Almost daily, unhealthy anger causes some kind of devastation. It could be anything from child abuse or domestic violence to road rage, or to children methodically preparing to harm their teacher. The emotion of anger in and of itself isn’t the problem, though.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Mad-About-Us-Part-2.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-02 00:00:002020-11-03 16:17:28Mad About Us, Part 2
When David and Ellen* married, Ellen never suspected David might be an alcoholic. “We had a large time with friends and family,” Ellen says. “I knew he drank a lot, but it didn’t cause issues for us. I never felt unsafe. My life looked very normal to everyone around us. David was a good provider…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Addiction-and-Marriage-part-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-06-27 00:00:002020-11-03 16:47:27Addiction and Marriage, Part 1
When you tie the knot, family relationships change. Your mom was probably your first teacher, encourager and biggest cheerleader. And chances are, she’s one of the first people you’ve gone to for advice since… well, as long as you can remember. But now things are different, and while your mom is still there for you,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/woman-sitting-beside-man-3407978.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-06-19 00:00:002021-08-04 10:01:15For the Guys: Tips for Putting Your Wife First (Without Hurting Mom’s Feelings)
Find out what they are and how they can cause destruction.
According to Dr. John Gottman, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are communication killers that put couples at high risk for divorce when these patterns take up permanent residence in the relationship. 1. Criticism Criticism is defined as blaming, faultfinding, or using global and negative labels to attack your spouse’s character. For example, “How would you…
Whether you are a son or a daughter, mom or dad, relationships change quite a bit when after marriage. Here are tips for strengthening the relationships that bind you together as a in-laws and family. How to be a good mother/father-in-law Let your in-law make his/her own decisions without meddling from you. As the relationship…
In 2014, a group of liberals and conservatives began discussing inequality and family breakdown, poring over research and developing solutions to this problem. In December 2015, they released their report on poverty and mobility called Opportunity, Responsibility and Security: A Consensus Plan for Reducing Poverty and Restoring the American Dream. “There are a gazillion reports from…
You walk through the door after dropping your baby off at college. The silence is deafening. Who knew that one more person could add so much noise to the house? Trying to hold back the tears, you wonder what they’re up to. Will they miss you? How long will it take them to call? Will…
A passage of time often has a positive effect on problems.
It was a turning point in the fictional marriage of Katie and Ben in the movie The Story of Us, starring Michele Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis. Katie tells Ben that she doesn’t want to end their marriage.“…You always know that I’m a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly,” she says to him. “That’s a dance you perfect over time.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/hannah-busing-Hx9gE3YSHls-unsplash-e1584038644788.jpg7821280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-05-22 00:00:002022-06-24 12:53:35Does Divorce Lead to Happiness?
Does marriage, like a good bottle of wine, really get better over time? That’s the question Dr. Paul Amato and his co-author, Spencer James, set out to answer. Amato serves as the Arnold and Bette Hoffman Emeritus Professor of Family Sociology and Demography at Pennsylvania State University. There’s lots of evidence that many people are…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/john-moeses-bauan-8YVaEljM-9I-unsplash.jpg9291200Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-05-07 06:30:002021-05-16 19:38:41Does Marriage Get Better Over Time?
For Richer, For Poorer
Does marriage matter? People have been asking this question for decades. For Richer, For Poorer: How Family Structures Economic Success in America examined how family structure impacts the economic fortunes of American families. Dr. Brad Wilcox, senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies and Robert Lerman, professor of economics at American University, conducted the…
Caring for the Caregiver
As part of her job, Amy Boulware walks alongside caregivers. So when she found herself caregiving for her grandmother and mother, she thought she had the tools she needed. “I did not expect to be caregiving for two,” says Boulware. “My grandmother moved closer so we could take care of her. Shortly after she moved,…
Affair-Proofing Your Marriage
Eric was married with two children. Life at home was good, and he considered his relationship with his wife to be healthy. They frequently spent time together and intimacy between the two of them was good.
Couples Who Play Together
When was the last time you and your mate played together? Seriously… can you remember the last time you did something crazy fun together? In far too many marriages, couples throw play out the window and replace it with serious adult responsibilities like careers, raising children, taking care of elderly parents, household chores and community…
5 Ways to Stoke the Fire of Passion in Marriage
In his song Too Cold at Home, Mark Chesnutt sings, “It’s too hot to fish, too hot for golf and too cold at home.” Even if it’s boiling outside, it can be cold at home when it comes to your marriage. Over time, many people seem to be willing to let sexual intimacy fly right…
4 Keys for Taking Up a Hobby Together
During the Yamadas’ adventurous marriage, there haven’t been many dull moments. “I wouldn’t describe either of us as risk-takers, but we are definitely not afraid to try new things,” says Mrs. Yamada. “We enjoy ballroom dancing, mountain biking and scuba diving, but I couldn’t see either of us bungee jumping.” Several years ago, the Yamadas…
Fun Ways to Jazz Up Your Marriage
David and Claudia Arp believe that fun in marriage is serious business. They have written several books on marriage together, including the 10 Great Dates series, and they love helping couples jazz up their marriage. “In our 30-plus years of marriage, we have learned important things like, if you don’t say what is on your mind…
Celebrate Your Anniversary!
Do you remember the date of your wedding anniversary? If you didn’t cheat and look at the engraved date on your wedding band, give yourself some points.How many years have you been married? If you had to think to figure it out, take away some points.How did you celebrate your last anniversary? Did you remember without having to ask your spouse what you did?If the answer is yes, give yourself a few more points. Add some points to your total if you did something fun as a coupl…
7 Ways to Reduce Your Risk for Divorce Before Marriage
Engaged couples spend endless amounts of time planning for their special day. In the excitement of wedding showers, choosing the flowers and the cake, and finding the perfect dress, some wonder if they can make it work. They don’t necessarily question their love for each other, although some actually do. It’s more about wondering if…
Infidelity and Forgiveness
Popular talk shows imply that everybody intentionally cheats in marriage.“In reality, most people don’t cheat,” says Kristina Coop Gordon, co-author of Getting Past the Affair. “Based on research, approximately 40 percent of married people cheat on their spouse. Studies indicate the person most likely to cheat is someone who is dissatisfied with their relationship and/or feels insecure about themselves.
Mad About Us, Part 1
Over the past 30 years, Gary and Carrie Oliver have worked with literally thousands of couples. Some were preparing for marriage while others were trying to figure out how to make their marriage work. “Every couple we have worked with began their marriage with a proclamation of their love and commitment to stay together ‘until…
Mad About Us, Part 2
Read Mad About Us, Part 1 here.Almost daily, unhealthy anger causes some kind of devastation. It could be anything from child abuse or domestic violence to road rage, or to children methodically preparing to harm their teacher. The emotion of anger in and of itself isn’t the problem, though.
Addiction and Marriage, Part 1
When David and Ellen* married, Ellen never suspected David might be an alcoholic. “We had a large time with friends and family,” Ellen says. “I knew he drank a lot, but it didn’t cause issues for us. I never felt unsafe. My life looked very normal to everyone around us. David was a good provider…
For the Guys: Tips for Putting Your Wife First (Without Hurting Mom’s Feelings)
When you tie the knot, family relationships change. Your mom was probably your first teacher, encourager and biggest cheerleader. And chances are, she’s one of the first people you’ve gone to for advice since… well, as long as you can remember. But now things are different, and while your mom is still there for you,…
Communication Killers
According to Dr. John Gottman, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are communication killers that put couples at high risk for divorce when these patterns take up permanent residence in the relationship. 1. Criticism Criticism is defined as blaming, faultfinding, or using global and negative labels to attack your spouse’s character. For example, “How would you…
Tips for Strengthening In-Law Relationships
Whether you are a son or a daughter, mom or dad, relationships change quite a bit when after marriage. Here are tips for strengthening the relationships that bind you together as a in-laws and family. How to be a good mother/father-in-law Let your in-law make his/her own decisions without meddling from you. As the relationship…
How Marriage Affects Poverty
In 2014, a group of liberals and conservatives began discussing inequality and family breakdown, poring over research and developing solutions to this problem. In December 2015, they released their report on poverty and mobility called Opportunity, Responsibility and Security: A Consensus Plan for Reducing Poverty and Restoring the American Dream. “There are a gazillion reports from…
A Practical Guide for Empty-Nesters
You walk through the door after dropping your baby off at college. The silence is deafening. Who knew that one more person could add so much noise to the house? Trying to hold back the tears, you wonder what they’re up to. Will they miss you? How long will it take them to call? Will…
Does Divorce Lead to Happiness?
It was a turning point in the fictional marriage of Katie and Ben in the movie The Story of Us, starring Michele Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis. Katie tells Ben that she doesn’t want to end their marriage.“…You always know that I’m a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly,” she says to him. “That’s a dance you perfect over time.
Does Marriage Get Better Over Time?
Does marriage, like a good bottle of wine, really get better over time? That’s the question Dr. Paul Amato and his co-author, Spencer James, set out to answer. Amato serves as the Arnold and Bette Hoffman Emeritus Professor of Family Sociology and Demography at Pennsylvania State University. There’s lots of evidence that many people are…