“I had no idea how much planning was involved in getting married,” remembers Amy Carter. “On top of surviving wedding planing, my fiancé and I were trying to sell my condo so I could move to Nashville. Fortunately, both of our families were very supportive of us as we planned for our big day. I…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/jon-asato-qOcyM8Jjj70-unsplash-1.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-09-27 00:00:002020-10-27 11:26:244 Keys to Help You Survive Wedding Planning
For many, the first week on the job is full of uncertainties, adjustments and even mistakes. Joining a new sports team or a band is sure to start off with some failed expectations, missed notes or assignments, too. I’ve worked at companies where I had an awful first week. But my time there ended up…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/tyler-nix-29DrUOrcq3c-unsplash.jpg19201280Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2018-09-14 09:55:352020-10-26 11:55:49Our honeymoon was awful. Will our marriage be awful, too?
Talking about what each of you expects can set you up for success.
Are you headed down the aisle soon? If you are, whether this is your first marriage or not, you probably have some thoughts rolling around in your brain in terms of what you expect from your soon-to-be spouse. Don’t worry, you aren’t alone.Almost everyone comes to marriage with some pretty specific ideas about how things will be, whether they realize it or not.
How can you know if you’re in an unhealthy dating relationship? Jessica was a junior in college when she started dating Jason. She had her eye on him for a while, thinking he was cute. When he finally asked her out, she was very excited. Within a month of their first date, Jessica’s girlfriends complained…
Every time I introduce myself to a group, I always lead with the fact that I have been married for 24.5 years. I often see wide eyes and hear deep sighs after that. Then I tell them we’ve been together for 30 years, which is often longer than some of the participants have been alive.…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/caique-silva-BgTLoQGuRl4-unsplash-2-e1583954328101.jpg10021280Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2018-07-31 15:24:032020-10-29 10:08:04Navigating Through Differences in a Relationship
Singles everywhere are bracing themselves for the holiday they dread the most – Valentine’s Day. In the weeks leading up to the holiday, there will be an onslaught of commercials advertising amazing packages couples can take to celebrate their love. If you don’t have a special someone in your life and wish that you did,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/A-Singles-Guide-for-Valentines-Day.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-23 00:00:002021-11-02 12:08:05A Single’s Guide to Valentine’s Day
After Kerri Crawford’s graduation with a college degree in Child and Family Studies, she planned to earn a minimum salary of $30,000 working with adolescent girls. “I had some pretty grand ideas about how things would go after graduation,” said Crawford. “It was much harder finding a job than I thought it would be, and…
Does marriage matter? People have been asking this question for decades. For Richer, For Poorer: How Family Structures Economic Success in America examined how family structure impacts the economic fortunes of American families. Dr. Brad Wilcox, senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies and Robert Lerman, professor of economics at American University, conducted the…
Sara and Ethan* started dating in 2012. One year later, Ethan told Sara he wanted to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. He was seriously considering an out-of-town move. “I was attending a community college at the time, but knew I needed to transfer to a four-year school,” says Sara. “I…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/ShouldCouplesLiveTogetherBeforeMarriage-jenna-jacobs-533666-unsplash-e1597425713701.jpg289450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 06:30:002020-11-02 15:46:16Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?
Plan ahead for a strong relationship after the big day.
Looking for ways to strengthen your marriage before it starts? Try these tips to help you prepare for life after the wedding day.First, attend a premarital education class or premarital counseling. Eighty-nine percent of married couples who attended premarital education BEFORE marriage found it to be helpful down the road.
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/man-in-black-suit-putting-crown-flower-on-woman-head-3775261-scaled.jpg13672048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002022-12-21 08:53:27Prepare for Marriage, Not Just the Wedding
When was the last time you and your mate played together? Seriously… can you remember the last time you did something crazy fun together? In far too many marriages, couples throw play out the window and replace it with serious adult responsibilities like careers, raising children, taking care of elderly parents, household chores and community…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Couples-That-Play-Together-Web-Image-scaled.jpg6302048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002022-08-24 09:29:40Couples Who Play Together
During the Yamadas’ adventurous marriage, there haven’t been many dull moments. “I wouldn’t describe either of us as risk-takers, but we are definitely not afraid to try new things,” says Mrs. Yamada. “We enjoy ballroom dancing, mountain biking and scuba diving, but I couldn’t see either of us bungee jumping.” Several years ago, the Yamadas…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/action-active-activity-adult-386024.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-09 00:00:002020-11-03 12:46:554 Keys for Taking Up a Hobby Together
David and Claudia Arp and Curt and Natelle Brown found that many seriously dating and engaged couples had questions. Turns out, many couples wonder the same thing. “In many of our seminars, couples told us they were in love and wanted to feel confident that they could make their relationship work,” say David and Claudia…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/10-great-dates-before-you-say-i-do-scaled.jpg13662048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-05 00:00:002020-11-10 09:11:4310 Great Dates Before You Say “I Do”
When you dreamed about your wedding experience, did you ever think so many people would participate in the process? Your mother is hurt because you aren’t wearing her wedding dress. The maid-of-honor has forgotten it is your wedding – not hers. Your fiancé’s family thinks the wedding plans are too formal. How will you choose…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/hannah-busing-WG6iLHfMY9Y-unsplash.jpg8501280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-05 00:00:002022-04-22 13:00:41How to Plan a Great Wedding Experience
Engaged couples spend endless amounts of time planning for their special day. In the excitement of wedding showers, choosing the flowers and the cake, and finding the perfect dress, some wonder if they can make it work. They don’t necessarily question their love for each other, although some actually do. It’s more about wondering if…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/toimetaja-tolkeburoo-KQfxVDHGCUg-unsplash-1.jpg8541280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-02 00:00:002021-11-23 09:44:257 Ways to Reduce Your Risk for Divorce Before Marriage
A friend’s Facebook post that said expensive wedding rings lead to less marriage stability caught Randal Olson’s eye. “My girlfriend and I had recently talked about wedding rings,” says Olson. “She said she did not want a big wedding ring. After reading the study, I was thankful. I am one semester away from graduating with…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/analise-benevides-gWedi4SWsHQ-unsplash-2.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-07-02 00:00:002020-11-03 15:54:18Wedding Expenses and Marriage Stability
See what one focus group revealed about living together.
“I do” feels complicated. What can you learn from a focus group of millennial women who live with their boyfriends? You can really find out about their relationships, their thoughts about marriage and how they think cohabitation differs from marriage. Only one of the six women had ever married. Some had children with their current…
When you tie the knot, family relationships change. Your mom was probably your first teacher, encourager and biggest cheerleader. And chances are, she’s one of the first people you’ve gone to for advice since… well, as long as you can remember. But now things are different, and while your mom is still there for you,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/woman-sitting-beside-man-3407978.jpg8531280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-06-19 00:00:002021-08-04 10:01:15For the Guys: Tips for Putting Your Wife First (Without Hurting Mom’s Feelings)
What makes a marriage really work? Is there any way to guarantee that love can last forever? Here’s how you can get your marriage off to a great start. It has been said that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Many people are in love with the idea of marriage. However, many couples…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/foto-pettine-IfjHaIoAoqE-unsplash-e1584033598782.jpg4091280Julie Baumgardnerhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2018-06-14 00:00:002022-04-28 09:28:40Getting Your Marriage Off to a Great Start
Find out what they are and how they can cause destruction.
According to Dr. John Gottman, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are communication killers that put couples at high risk for divorce when these patterns take up permanent residence in the relationship. 1. Criticism Criticism is defined as blaming, faultfinding, or using global and negative labels to attack your spouse’s character. For example, “How would you…
4 Keys to Help You Survive Wedding Planning
“I had no idea how much planning was involved in getting married,” remembers Amy Carter. “On top of surviving wedding planing, my fiancé and I were trying to sell my condo so I could move to Nashville. Fortunately, both of our families were very supportive of us as we planned for our big day. I…
Our honeymoon was awful. Will our marriage be awful, too?
For many, the first week on the job is full of uncertainties, adjustments and even mistakes. Joining a new sports team or a band is sure to start off with some failed expectations, missed notes or assignments, too. I’ve worked at companies where I had an awful first week. But my time there ended up…
Engaged Couples and Expectations
Are you headed down the aisle soon? If you are, whether this is your first marriage or not, you probably have some thoughts rolling around in your brain in terms of what you expect from your soon-to-be spouse. Don’t worry, you aren’t alone.Almost everyone comes to marriage with some pretty specific ideas about how things will be, whether they realize it or not.
8 Warning Signs of Unhealthy Dating Relationships
How can you know if you’re in an unhealthy dating relationship? Jessica was a junior in college when she started dating Jason. She had her eye on him for a while, thinking he was cute. When he finally asked her out, she was very excited. Within a month of their first date, Jessica’s girlfriends complained…
Navigating Through Differences in a Relationship
Every time I introduce myself to a group, I always lead with the fact that I have been married for 24.5 years. I often see wide eyes and hear deep sighs after that. Then I tell them we’ve been together for 30 years, which is often longer than some of the participants have been alive.…
A Single’s Guide to Valentine’s Day
Singles everywhere are bracing themselves for the holiday they dread the most – Valentine’s Day. In the weeks leading up to the holiday, there will be an onslaught of commercials advertising amazing packages couples can take to celebrate their love. If you don’t have a special someone in your life and wish that you did,…
Life After Graduation
After Kerri Crawford’s graduation with a college degree in Child and Family Studies, she planned to earn a minimum salary of $30,000 working with adolescent girls. “I had some pretty grand ideas about how things would go after graduation,” said Crawford. “It was much harder finding a job than I thought it would be, and…
For Richer, For Poorer
Does marriage matter? People have been asking this question for decades. For Richer, For Poorer: How Family Structures Economic Success in America examined how family structure impacts the economic fortunes of American families. Dr. Brad Wilcox, senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies and Robert Lerman, professor of economics at American University, conducted the…
Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?
Sara and Ethan* started dating in 2012. One year later, Ethan told Sara he wanted to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. He was seriously considering an out-of-town move. “I was attending a community college at the time, but knew I needed to transfer to a four-year school,” says Sara. “I…
Prepare for Marriage, Not Just the Wedding
Looking for ways to strengthen your marriage before it starts? Try these tips to help you prepare for life after the wedding day.First, attend a premarital education class or premarital counseling. Eighty-nine percent of married couples who attended premarital education BEFORE marriage found it to be helpful down the road.
Couples Who Play Together
When was the last time you and your mate played together? Seriously… can you remember the last time you did something crazy fun together? In far too many marriages, couples throw play out the window and replace it with serious adult responsibilities like careers, raising children, taking care of elderly parents, household chores and community…
4 Keys for Taking Up a Hobby Together
During the Yamadas’ adventurous marriage, there haven’t been many dull moments. “I wouldn’t describe either of us as risk-takers, but we are definitely not afraid to try new things,” says Mrs. Yamada. “We enjoy ballroom dancing, mountain biking and scuba diving, but I couldn’t see either of us bungee jumping.” Several years ago, the Yamadas…
10 Great Dates Before You Say “I Do”
David and Claudia Arp and Curt and Natelle Brown found that many seriously dating and engaged couples had questions. Turns out, many couples wonder the same thing. “In many of our seminars, couples told us they were in love and wanted to feel confident that they could make their relationship work,” say David and Claudia…
How to Plan a Great Wedding Experience
When you dreamed about your wedding experience, did you ever think so many people would participate in the process? Your mother is hurt because you aren’t wearing her wedding dress. The maid-of-honor has forgotten it is your wedding – not hers. Your fiancé’s family thinks the wedding plans are too formal. How will you choose…
7 Ways to Reduce Your Risk for Divorce Before Marriage
Engaged couples spend endless amounts of time planning for their special day. In the excitement of wedding showers, choosing the flowers and the cake, and finding the perfect dress, some wonder if they can make it work. They don’t necessarily question their love for each other, although some actually do. It’s more about wondering if…
Wedding Expenses and Marriage Stability
A friend’s Facebook post that said expensive wedding rings lead to less marriage stability caught Randal Olson’s eye. “My girlfriend and I had recently talked about wedding rings,” says Olson. “She said she did not want a big wedding ring. After reading the study, I was thankful. I am one semester away from graduating with…
“I Do” Is Complicated
“I do” feels complicated. What can you learn from a focus group of millennial women who live with their boyfriends? You can really find out about their relationships, their thoughts about marriage and how they think cohabitation differs from marriage. Only one of the six women had ever married. Some had children with their current…
For the Guys: Tips for Putting Your Wife First (Without Hurting Mom’s Feelings)
When you tie the knot, family relationships change. Your mom was probably your first teacher, encourager and biggest cheerleader. And chances are, she’s one of the first people you’ve gone to for advice since… well, as long as you can remember. But now things are different, and while your mom is still there for you,…
Getting Your Marriage Off to a Great Start
What makes a marriage really work? Is there any way to guarantee that love can last forever? Here’s how you can get your marriage off to a great start. It has been said that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Many people are in love with the idea of marriage. However, many couples…
Communication Killers
According to Dr. John Gottman, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are communication killers that put couples at high risk for divorce when these patterns take up permanent residence in the relationship. 1. Criticism Criticism is defined as blaming, faultfinding, or using global and negative labels to attack your spouse’s character. For example, “How would you…
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