Journaling/Writing Prompts for Kids
Journaling isn’t just for school. It can help your kids in a variety of personal ways that can also help you as a parent tune into your kids. Sometimes your kids will be willing to share their thoughts with you, but they will often put something into writing that they might not say to you.
Let’s be honest — even with school and everything else that’s going on, your kids probably need some constructive things to do. Journaling can fire their imagination, improve their writing skills, and cultivate self-awareness. Plus it can be fun and give you something to start a conversation! Make it part of their daily routine — maybe the first thing they do after breakfast or the last thing they do before bed.
So, take a look around the house — is there an empty composition book or notebook you can put together? Kids love their electronic devices, but I would only use them as an absolute last resort. You can make up the topics, but try to make them as open-ended as possible or add a “Why?” at the end. Of course, keep topics appropriate for your child’s age and interests. Below are a bunch of journal topic suggestions to get you thinking! But to review just a few of the benefits of journaling for your child…
Journaling can:
- Clarify their thoughts and feelings
- Help them know themselves better
- Reduce their stress
- Give you insight into how they are dealing with our current situation.
BONUS: Here’s a great resource of journaling prompts for both you and your child to practice mindfulness. If that word sounds scary or unfamiliar, mindfulness just means that you’re practicing narrowing your focus and sharpening your attention, which is obviously so helpful for children!
Elementary School
List of things that make me happy.
I wish I knew more about __________ because….
What is something that is important to my family?
When it comes to schoolwork, what has been your favorite thing you learned?
My favorite part of last week was…
Three things I’d like to talk about.
If I could rename the colors of crayons…
What is my favorite dessert and why?
Use your creativity to describe and draw a new creature or animal.
If my dog or cat could talk, it would say things like…
I was proud when I __________
Five things I’m good at are…
If a genie granted me three wishes…
What would you choose if you were in charge of the weather?
My favorite holiday is…
Middle School
What would happen if you found gold in your backyard?
If animals could talk, what questions would you like to ask them?
Who would you be if you could have been someone in history? Why?
I taught someone how to…
You can only take 3 people with you on a trip around the world, who would you take?
If you could give any gift in the world, what would you give and to whom?
The house was so quiet, but then I heard…
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Let’s say you received any sum of money as a gift. What would you do with it?
Did you ever catch fireflies? Crickets? Frogs? Snakes? Why/why not?
What was your most difficult or most joyous life experience?
List one of your pet peeves and write about why it annoys you.
What is something that you appreciate about your parents? Why?
Write about a window you broke or something valuable you lost.
What would happen if it suddenly started raining spaghetti and meatballs?
High School
Describe the perfect date.
What is courage? What is the most courageous thing you have done?
Describe a hero. It can be either someone you know or simply qualities of a hero.
What is your favorite activity? Who do you do it with? Why do you think you enjoy it?
Write about a good book you’ve read recently.
What will you do differently when you’re a parent? Why?
Do you spend too much time with electronic devices? Why/why not?
What do you think should have or should NOT have been invented and why?
List one major world problem and how you think we should solve it.
Do you think that there is or ever was life on another planet?
What is the most important issue facing teens your age today?
Were you ever given a responsibility that you couldn’t handle?
Describe the best concert you ever attended.
Write about a time you tried to help and ended up making things worse.
Did you ever break an important promise?
Write about moving to another city or neighborhood or house.
Did you ever meet a famous person? Interact with them on social media?
Describe a car or bicycle accident you were in.
If you could spend a day spent in another country, which would you choose? Why?
Describe a time that you outsmarted someone.
Write about going shopping for new clothes.
Did you ever turn someone in or tell on someone and feel bad about it later?
Was there a time your parents embarrassed you?
Can you remember a time you gave someone good advice? What was it?
Letting Your Child Fail
I have always prided myself on being a good friend—the type of friend that seeks to protect those I care about from hurt, harm or danger—even self-inflicted hurt, harm, or danger. I was in no way prepared for the gigantic increase in those protective feelings when I became a MOTHER. The idea that my babies (now 21, 16 and 13) would feel even an ounce of pain or disappointment that I could not prevent was unfathomable to me.
That’s when the Mama Bear persona took over: I’m going to protect my children from everything that can harm them, and letting them fail is not an option. I was diligent with child-proofing and safety concerns.
So, I put covers in the outlets. I gave away furniture that had sharp edges and never left them alone in the tub or in their high chair. I had gates and locks on cabinets, door handles, and even the toilet seat (sometimes to my detriment.) It was my responsibility to keep them safe!
It was a long time before I knew that I was taking every responsibility onto myself. I had the pleasure of meeting Hal Runkel, a marriage and family therapist, and the words that he shared changed this Mama Bear’s life. He said, “You are responsible to your children, not for them.”
Huh, what?! Who they are is because of me, right??? That is the breeding ground for Mom Guilt. I had to make a major shift in my thinking. Yes, when they are infants and toddlers we have to be more diligent in our protections, but as they grow and develop, it’s our job to teach them how to make good decisions and wise choices for their lives.
Then, I remembered the lesson taught to me by my mother as I got older. I would ask my mother if I could go do something. Her response was, “Gena, I don’t want you to, but if you feel like you have to, go ahead.” Another, huh, what?! moment. I was asking for a clear yes or no answer. What she introduced into my life was natural and logical consequences—the old If/Then Theorem. If I go to the movies and behave well, good for me. If I go to the movies and act like an idiot, well, then I suffer the consequences. That changed my parenting life and the life of my boys. I realized letting my children fail sometimes was part of being a caring mom.
The first time I remember allowing a natural and logical consequence for my son was on a 3rd grade field trip. In K-2, I would check his backpack and agenda for things to sign. In order to support the teachers, we were asked to give our children a little more independence and responsibility. So, it was his responsibility to bring his agenda and field trip forms. I knew about the trip and reminded him to get me to sign the form. He did not get me to sign the form and consequently, he did not attend that field trip. Was that fun for me to see my child disappointed? No, but I had to teach him that there are rewards and consequences in life.
My son is now a junior in high school, preparing to make the decision on where to spend his college days. I hope by teaching him that he owns the responsibility for his actions and decisions EMPOWERS him to grow and protect HIS name and reputation and chart HIS own course for the future.
Are you in Mama Bear Mode? Are you keeping your child safe, or keeping your child from developing personal responsibility and being prepared for their future? Letting your child fail may be one of the best things you can do for them.
7 Ways to Embrace Being a #girldad
Kobe Bryant’s untimely death brought to the forefront a great conversation about being a #girldad.
Elle Duncan from ESPN Sports Center spoke about meeting Bryant when she was eight months pregnant. He congratulated her; and when he found out she would have a girl, and he high-fived her and said, “Girls are the best!”
Bryant said that he and his wife talked about having more children, but they joked: What if they had another girl?
Duncan said, “Four girls. Are you joking? What would you think? How would you feel?”
Without hesitation, Bryant said, “I would have five more girls if I could. I’m a girl dad!”
Beyond his basketball legacy, Bryant will live in memory for enthusiastically embracing his role as a #girldad.
A healthy father-daughter relationship can give a daughter the self-confidence to deal with challenging issues. However, when fathers are not engaged, research shows that daughters struggle with abandonment issues, lack of self-esteem, feeling unworthy, and vulnerability to predators.
Girls who grow up without a healthy father-daughter relationship are at greater risk for experiencing problems in school, abusing drugs and alcohol, and participating in risky sexual behavior. In fact, adolescent girls without fathers are twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity.
In Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Dr. Meg Meeker states that no matter the age of the daughter, she takes her relationship with her father to the grave.
While some dads are quick to embrace having a daughter, others struggle with the father-daughter relationship.
Here are some ways dads can embrace being a #girldad:
- It’s no secret that girls tend to be more verbal than boys. Instead of feeling annoyed with all the chatter, take time to listen to her thoughts, feelings and dreams.
- Find something you can learn to do together or teach her a skill.
- Spend intentional time with her doing things she enjoys doing. Yes, tea parties, nail painting and dress-up count.
- Daddy-daughter dates are a thing. It doesn’t have to be extravagant.
- Encourage her uniqueness and help her know her value as a person.
- Become involved in her education. Research suggests that daughters’ academic successes are closely related to the quality of their childhood relationship with their fathers.
- Show that you believe in her ability to handle challenges.
The father/daughter relationship can sometimes feel very confusing, especially as your daughter enters adolescence. One minute she wants a hug from you, but the next minute she can’t stand to be in your presence. While you might feel tempted to back off, don’t. From birth to adulthood, your daughter can benefit from your healthy presence in her life. You are a #girldad.
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When (and How) Should I Give My Child A Cell Phone?
What’s the right age and the right kind of phone for your child and how do you keep them safe in this digital age?
Fun Ways for Families to Connect During the Holidays
With all of the expectations around the holidays, things can get kind of crazy. There’s bound to be disagreements about how, when or IF you do all the things. Think traditions, party plans, travel—you name it. The very time that’s supposed to bring families closer together is often filled with more fun stuff like extra stress, fighting kids, awkward extended family dynamics, and sometimes marital tension. Whew!
Sometimes the craziness gets the best of us and family members start to feel disconnected. This leads to all kinds of holiday drama—the very thing we all want to avoid.
Want to help make sure the holidays are a time where family members feel connected and close? Here are some things you can do at home, in the car, during meals, and out in the community that not only will create conversation but also laughter, insight, memories, and you guessed it, CONNECTION!
IF YOU’RE TRAVELING…
If you do decide to travel, make sure you spread the love when you’re out and about. But while you’re in the car, instead of automatically plugging into technology, what about giving your kids a limited amount of time with tech stuff? Don’t be intimidated by the pushback and don’t expect them to thank you any time soon. Get creative and offer some motivation for participation and keep them busy so you don’t hear, “They’re breathing on me!” during your hours-long trip. For example, for every 30 minutes you play the game you get X number of minutes with your screen. During the downtimes, stay safe and healthy with some of the socially-distant/safe activities on the journey:
- Categories: Pick a category (Disney movies, popular songs, flavors of soda) and take turns naming something in that category until someone is stumped. (This person loses and the winner picks the next category.)
- Going on a Picnic: This is a memory game for all ages! The first person starts a story with, “I’m going on a picnic and I’m going to bring…” and then lists an item. The next person says, “I’m going on a picnic, and I’m going to bring…” and then lists the first person’s item PLUS a new item. As the story grows and grows, each person repeats the list and adds a new item. The first person to incorrectly list all the items is out! You can keep playing until only one person remains.
- License Plate Game: Interpret the letters in each license plate you pass. For instance, TMK could stand for “Toasty Miniature Kangaroo.”
- People-watching: Watch a vehicle traveling on the road near you for a few minutes. Make up a story about the people in the car. Answer questions like: What are their names? Where did they come from? Where are they going? Why are they going there? What are they going to do when they get there? The sillier and more detailed the story is, the better!
IF YOU’RE STAYING AT HOME AS A FAMILY
- Plan a walk and play “I Spy.” When you exercise together, your brain releases endorphins that create “feel-good memories” you can all enjoy for years to come. Walk around the yard, neighborhood, park, or find a local hiking trail, but encourage the whole family to come! To keep the kids engaged for the walk (and to keep things playful for the adults), play as many rounds of “I Spy” as you can. Then keep track of who wins the most “I Spy” rounds and award them with a special treat when you get home, like hot chocolate, a cookie, or maybe watching the movie or show of their choice.
- Make something special. Baking goodies for the ones you love is fun, but baking goodies for someone in need, or someone who doesn’t expect it is even more fun. It also teaches the littlest ones in the family that holidays aren’t just about receiving, but giving! Choose one or two people, families, or organizations you’d like to delight this holiday season. Then, gather together in to bake something yummy together and share. Consider giving to an elderly neighbor, a family friend, the staff of a local nonprofit your family supports, etc.
IF YOU’RE SHARING A MEAL WITH OTHERS…
To avoid awkward silence at the dinner table with relatives or friends you may not see very often, try a few of these conversation starters:
- What is one way you have helped another person this year?
- Who is someone in your life you’re thankful for and why?
- If you could have dinner with anyone (past or present), who would it be and why?
- If you could have a superpower what would it be and how would you use it?
- What is the most beautiful place you have ever seen?
- What is the hardest thing about being your current age?
It’s possible to be in a room or a car full of people who are not interacting fully with each other, especially when routines get thrown to the side, and people are tired and cranky. When people feel disconnected and schedules are upside-down, chaos reigns. Instead of chaos, plan for what you know is coming, whether it is boredom, difficult conversations or unwanted silence. During the busiest season of the year, these tips may help lessen the drama and help you make memories with family and friends.
How to Connect at Family Mealtimes
Is it possible to connect at family mealtimes? We live in a day and time when parents feel like they run from one thing to the next seeking to give their children every opportunity to experience life to the fullest. Many people say there’s nothing wrong with that. The reality is that children and their parents are experiencing high rates of disconnectedness. They are experiencing a lot of life, but at what cost?
One of the most powerful ways for families to create connection is by sharing regular and meaningful meals together, which offers a variety of benefits. Studies suggest that having meals together as a family at least four times a week has positive effects on child development and has been linked to a lower risk of obesity, substance abuse and eating disorders, and an increased chance of graduating from high school as well as better family relationships.
Family meals also help to:
- provide a sense of family unity and identity.
- give children an opportunity to express themselves.
- teach kids to wait their turn to speak.
- let them hear many different perspectives.
- show how to agree to disagree on certain topics.
- transmit family values and traditions from one generation to the next.
- teach good table manners and etiquette.
The American College of Pediatricians notes that the daily coming together around the family table:
- Provides structure for the day, allowing children to feel more secure and safe by knowing what to expect.
- Helps parents monitor their children’s moods, behavior and activities, giving insight into the emotional well-being of their children.
- Allows children to learn and appreciate social interactions, understand the importance of community and experience different ideas while under the guidance of their parents.
These times together as a family create a bond and shared memories that children carry with them long into adulthood. The key to the success of these gatherings is to make them technology-free zones – no televisions, tablets or cell phones allowed.
You may already know that family meals are a good thing, but maybe you’re just trying to figure out how to make it happen and what to do with the time you have together. Keep in mind it doesn’t have to be dinner, it could be breakfast, and it doesn’t have to be fancy. The goal is for everybody to be together and connect. Making the meal could be part of that or you could even grab something and bring it home.
If you are at a loss for how to get the conversation around the table going, here are some suggestions to help you get started:
- Share. Have each person share their best/favorite moment from today or yesterday. Use this time to get updates on each other, friends, co-workers and family.
- Ask. What’s one thing you are excited about that is coming up? Who did you notice today and why did you notice them? Is there anything going on in your life or someone else’s life that we can help with? What is the best meal or dessert you’ve ever had?
- Discuss. If sports are your thing, talk about the latest game or an upcoming championship such as the World Series, Super Bowl, World Cup or NBA playoffs. Find ways to talk about things each individual is interested in or would like to learn more about. Maybe it’s that dream vacation or road trip, birthday bash or even how you’d like to spend your time over the weekend.
- Listen. During the conversations, make the effort to listen without interrupting. Whatever you do, don’t ask a question and then hijack the conversation. We can learn a lot when we’re not doing all the talking.
It might seem hard to believe that just having a meal together where you are connecting can be such a huge preventative factor for so many things, but it’s true. The key is to be intentional and keep it simple.
Looking for more parenting resources? Click here!
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Being a parent makes life better. Let me tell you why.
I’m currently writing this while sitting at a coffee shop on a rainy afternoon, and there is a table of three very chatty, obnoxious, silly, giggly 12-year-old girls directly hovering over cinnamon rolls and muffins directly in my line of sight.
One of them – the slender redhead with clear blue eyes – is my oldest daughter. The other two, her friends, will be coming over later for a sleepover that I’m sure will be much of the same behavior.
As I peer over toward them from time to time (trying to remain undetected), I can’t help but think quickly through a play-by-play of my daughter’s life, starting with our first introduction to her in the hospital: sleeping in my arms, the tiniest, most vulnerable thing. And I remember thinking, “Does life get any better than this?”
Fast forward not too many weeks: middle of the night, trying my best to change a diaper in less-than-optimal lighting, taking on a less-than-optimal aroma as she fights through her cries and tears because all she really wants to do is go back to sleep. And I remember thinking, “Doesn’t life get better than this?”
Then there’s the memory of coming alongside her as she served a Thanksgiving dinner to the visitors of our community’s homeless shelter: watching her smile and bright blue eyes brighten the day for some folks who desperately need a bright day. And I thought, “Man, life just doesn’t get any better than this.”
Of course, growing up is hard and learning lessons can be even harder.
Like the time I caught her in a lie about what she was looking at on her cell phone: That was a tough discussion, and my heart and my brain were at odds with what exactly to do. Tough love won out in the end and she was grounded from her phone for a time as well as from attending the big school rivalry football game the next night. She went to bed distraught and in tears; I went to bed with my own tears, thinking, “Surely life is going to get better than this.”
And back to today: I look on that blue-eyed redhead as she talks and laughs with her friends (still trying not to be detected), seeing the joy on her face, and I think, “Wow – I don’t think life can get better than this.”
A friend of a friend of mine was once asked what parenthood was like for him, and I think his response is the best description I’ve ever heard: “It’s just… more.” It’s more ups, more downs. It’s more joys, more tears. More money spent, more stuff on the floor, more to plan for birthdays and holidays and weekends and vacations. It’s more laughter, more struggles, more trying to just figure things out, more seeing great things happen despite us. More pride as a parent, more hard lessons learned, more hope for the future.
If you are a parent and you’re in one of these (or other) phases of “more,” know that you’re not alone. All us parents are in the “more,” but one thing is for certain – when life as a parent doesn’t seem like it could be much better, days are still to come when life just can’t get any better.
Take notice of the times when you see your kids showing signs of growth. This is hard for a parent sometimes because a part of us doesn’t want to see our kids grow up. You have to intentionally experience joy when we see the little milestones of maturity – like when they’re enjoying time with friends at a coffee shop over cinnamon rolls. It means they’re one more step closer to being the adults we are working so hard for them to become.
Life is good in the “more” – even when more is a lot more than we thought it would be. As a matter of fact, it can’t get any better – until maybe tomorrow.
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Not long ago, I wrote a provocative column concerning men and marriageability. At the end I asked, “What will we do to help our boys succeed in life and relationships?” The good news is, we can do all kinds of things to ensure that boys and girls have the same opportunities in education, earning potential and life in general.
Many researchers believe that the educational system itself plays a large role in how well boys do or don’t fare. Others cite technology and video games, the breakdown of the family, the focus on women’s equality or the lack of positive male role models as reasons – just to name a few. The reality is that ALL of these things contribute to whether boys succeed or fail.
Will Honeycutt, assistant director of counseling at The McCallie School for Boys, believes that technology plays a role in disconnecting boys from real life. Whether it’s binge-watching episodes of Game of Thrones over a weekend, playing video games or being entrenched in social media, technology is isolating boys from valuable experiences, interacting with others, engaging in conversation, learning emotional regulation and figuring out who they are as a person.
So, how can we help boys thrive in an ever-changing culture?
Troy Kemp, executive director for The National Center for the Development of Boys in Chattanooga, Tenn., has some ideas we can use, whether at home or in the community.
BOYS AND GIRLS ARE NOT THE SAME
Boys are different than girls – not better than – but different. Their bodies and brains mature differently, and they take in and process information differently. Boys and girls have varying strengths and weaknesses.
Research shows that teaching in educational settings leans heavily toward the strengths of the female brain, so actively addressing variety in learning styles and responses is a great place to start. Teachers can choose reading materials to reflect the interests of boys. Boys need to be surrounded by positive influences that will help them break through the popular culture’s narrow definition of manhood, and having more male teachers in the classroom would be a step in the right direction.
WHAT ABOUT AT HOME?
Kemp feels that parents need to educate themselves about how boys (and others who wiggle) learn best and what intrinsically motivates them. Boys need examples of excellence, and using words and visuals can help them see things more fully and hold their attention. It is important that we don’t automatically assume boys aren’t trying if they don’t respond the way we want or expect. It may be possible that we didn’t clearly express our expectations, which may be very different from theirs.
According to Kemp, boys also need to develop a proper vision for manhood and masculinity. In order to achieve that vision, they need to be exposed to male mentors who are balanced in their approach to life, learning, unconditional love and emotions. Having a community of men who are behind them makes a great impact and prepares them to mentor others.
“Boys need a crew and a cause,” says Kemp. “They need to know someone is counting on them and they can count on others. Boys need to know what is important to them is also important to parents…especially their fathers.”
If you’re a father, get on your son’s level and don’t discount what is important to him. Give him choices within the choices you approve.
Parents can model responsibility and healthy relationships with technology and everything else.
- Count the number of hours boys are in front of screens. Excessive amounts of screen time for children, especially boys, can be detrimental to healthy brain development.
- Make sure they are getting at least two hours of physical exercise every day. Don’t pull your son from a team or group if his grades drop. Work with the coach or group leader and use their power and influence.
- Be intentional about teaching and modeling the qualities of healthy relationships and don’t assume they know what unhealthy looks like.
- Drive-time is a great time for conversation about what a lot of teens consider awkward topics. That way, nobody is looking at facial expressions. You can make it a media-free moment, too.
- Take advantage of current situations. Talk about accountability and responsibility. Include healthy ways to handle anger or disappointment and treating people with respect who are disrespectful to you.
- Point them toward healthy role models beyond Mom and Dad – coaches, trusted friends and relatives – so they have more than their parents speaking into their lives and encouraging them on their journey into adulthood.
- Spend one-on-one time with your child. Let them set the agenda for your time together. Fathers, try reading to and with your children.
- Volunteer together as a family. Go on a mission trip, help out at a local nonprofit or do something that involves giving to others. There is a real chemical reaction in the brain when we help others in need. It makes us feel good and makes us want to do more acts of kindness.
All of these things combined can help boys thrive in school and in life.
Boys with a strong support system have a foundation to build upon as they enter manhood and make wise decisions about their future.
Image from Unsplash.com
