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I was walking in the grocery store the other day and I ran into a friend from high school. We started talking and she asked me about my cousin who went to school with us. Our mutual friend asked how she is doing.  I was actually caught off guard because, in reality, I didn’t know how my cousin was doing. She and I have lost touch. I started to think about how disconnected I was feeling from other family members including parents, siblings, and extended family. Then, I considered my children. They don’t have the same memories that I have with my extended family. How can I bridge the gap that has occurred? How can we, as family, stay connected across the miles?

Here are 7 Ways To Stay Connected With Long-Distance Family:

1. Old Fashioned Snail Mail

Mailing correspondence may seem old-fashioned but it is tried and true. Handwriting letters has become a lost art. Letter writing allows you to share in your own words what is happening in your life. It provides a window for your family to see into. Postcards are another tool you can use. If you see a postcard that reminds you of a family member, write a note saying, “I saw this, and I thought of you.” This lets your family know that although miles divide you, they are still on your mind and in your heart. 

2. Create A Family Newsletter

Whether you choose to do this monthly, quarterly, or yearly, it provides updates to your long-distance family. It shares with them: honors, awards, funny moments, celebrations. Let your children help design it and have input into it. Make a family logo and motto to go at the top along with a name like, “Keeping Up With The Joneses” or “Watson Family Gazette.” You could do this online or make it a family production and put it into print. ☆ You could make a “chain letter” that gets added to by a family member and mailed to the next person on the list and keeps circulating around your family, keeping everyone in the loop. 

3. Send Care Packages

Every holiday season, as a child, I would go with my grandmother as she mailed holiday packages to my uncles who lived out of town. In the boxes would be a pound cake, fruit cake, cookies, preserves, and other sweets. You don’t have to choose the same items. You can create your own theme with the box. One theme could be Our Town. Select items representing the town you live in. You could choose My Favorite Things where you select items your sister, aunt, cousin, or dad loves. Or, even a box of Things That Remind Me Of You.

4. Travel Together

It may be fun to select a location midway between you and your siblings and spend some time there together. It may be fun to coordinate time in the summer with the grandparents and cousins and call it “Cousin Camp.” It may be a blast to schedule a multi-family vacation to the beach, mountains, amusement parks, etc.

5. Book Club

For many, storytime is an integral part of their bedtime routine. Create space for grandparents who live out of town to be “guest readers” via phone, Skype, FaceTime, Messenger or video. Another idea is for the adults in the family to choose to read the same book and then have a discussion about it. Even the kids could read the same book and draw pictures about the scenes or main characters.

6. Go Virtual

Technology is an innovative way in which families can stay connected. It may look and even feel different from the past. Nevertheless, it allows family members to maintain connections. Don’t be afraid of trying some “high-tech” ways to stay in touch with your long-distance family members. Here are some examples:

  • Have Virtual Dinner Night: Each family makes the same meal and you sit down ‘together’ at the same time to eat via ZOOM, FaceTime, Google MEET, etc.
  • Create Family Group Texts: Families can create a text message group or utilize a messaging app to share information with each other.
  • Virtual Game Night: Families can choose to play online games (PlayStation, XBOX), board/card games (UNO, Battleship), Minute to Win It, or Charades via ZOOM or Google MEET.
  • Schedule Weekly/Monthly Calls: Families can utilize whatever platform they have available (i.e., Facetime, ZOOM, Skype). On the calls, birthdays, special awards or everyday moments can be shared.
  • Facebook: Create a Family Facebook page where you can post pictures, videos, etc.
  • Family and Friends Movie Night. (Netflix for Chrome) Families can watch the same movie at the same time while being in their own homes. Then use FaceTime or ZOOM to talk about it.

7. Cardboard Cutout 

Select a fun picture of the family member you choose and get a life-sized cardboard cut-out made. It allows your kids to recognize their family members. It’s also a way for that family member to be “present” at events such as a spelling bee, soccer games, or track meets.

If you’re feeling disconnected, that’s when you need to be intentional about communicating and connecting with long-distance family members. Whether you choose to make a phone call spontaneously or you send out a calendar invite for everyone to group chat, making that first step to check-in can change the direction of your connection

Don’t get discouraged if everyone can’t make everything. We have to recognize that we’re all dealing with life in some form or fashion. Also, remember to stay in touch with family and friends who live close to you. In this current time, everyone could benefit from a call or note letting them know someone is thinking about them.

You thought the words “marriage” and “loneliness” were oxymorons. Now you realize that isn’t the case. A Cigna study reports that in over 40% of marriages, one of the partners experiences loneliness and is unable to connect and be vulnerable with their spouse. What do you do if you’re feeling lonely in your marriage?

1. Communicate exactly what you’re feeling to your spouse.

Do not assume your spouse knows how you’re feeling. Keeping a journal where you are able to write down your thoughts and feelings is a good way to ensure that you communicate exactly what’s on your mind. Your partner may or not feel the same way. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting them to know or because they haven’t sensed the disconnect. That’s not helpful. Ask for their undivided attention, plan a special date or getaway, and be sure to share your heart. Work together to understand each other’s needs and how the two of you can reconnect emotionally.

2. Do a self-check.

It’s possible you’re expecting more from your spouse than they should be expected to give. Your spouse may be making attempts to connect with you and yet you’re unable to shake the loneliness. More and more couples are expecting their spouse to be their best friend, lover, therapist, social partner, and mentor. Studies have shown that couples tend to be less lonely when they have other positive social connections. Think through times where you felt more connected and less isolated. If you entered your marriage battling loneliness, then you may have hoped that the marriage would be the cure. Journaling, connecting with friends, getting sufficient sleep, and practicing mindfulness and self-care may be the antidote to your feelings of loneliness and isolation.

3. Create intentional times to connect.

Coffee and toast each morning. Make sure the kids have a bedtime or at least a lights out and stay in their room time. Monthly date night using a trusted family friend to babysit. Use these times to create a ritual of emotionally connecting, even if it’s just for a few minutes. You can even plan specific questions to ask or topics to discuss. 

You may be feeling lonely in marriage because you feel unable to share all of yourself with your partner or because your partner doesn’t share with you. Make a point during your intentional times of connection to ask questions like: “What is bringing you the most joy and the most sadness in your life? What dreams do you have that are the most important to you? Is there anything that concerns or worries you? What do you need the most from me? What makes you feel emotionally safe?” Listen intently to each other giving cues that you’re understanding. (Check out this article on active listening skills—especially the Six Levels of Listening.) 

4. Create shared experiences.

Doing fun and engaging activities together releases tensions and can create an environment of safety in your relationship. Dance, karaoke, hike, cook, go on an adventure, etc. Sharing experiences will create memories, spark conversations, and cultivate curiosity about one another. And it releases dopamine which is the “feel good” chemical in your brain.

Be intentional about getting to know each other during these experiences. Understand why your partner enjoys certain activities, what causes them fear or discomfort, and what about doing this with you makes it enjoyable

5. Seek help.

There may be issues the two of you are finding difficult to discuss, let alone resolve. These issues may be fueling your loneliness. Talk to trusted married friends. Find a good marriage counselor to help you unpack the root of your loneliness and help you get on the path to reconnection. 

Loneliness is not an unusual feeling to experience in marriage from time to time. However, it is something that couples can identify and often work together to overcome and grow stronger. Working together to emotionally connect and share yourself with your spouse will help you both reap benefits for your marriage for years to come. 

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE FULFILLING, NOT FRUSTRATING.

With the right tools, you and your spouse can have the best communication ever!

This easy-to-use virtual 5-day course guides you and your spouse to have the best communication you’ve ever had! Through this course, you will learn:

  • How to establish healthy communication habits
  • The secrets to creating a deep connection through communication
  • Skills to help you (and your spouse) be a better speaker and listener
  • How to celebrate and understand your different communication styles
  • And so much more!

Love is the most exhilarating emotion, until it’s the most frustrating because you’re dealing with COVID-19 and quarantine and you aren’t sure your spouse loves you anymore.

When you fell head over heels in love with your spouse, nobody gave you the heads up that you would endure a pandemic where you were together 24/7 for months on end. 

There are no books on how to navigate the economy, homeschooling, anxiety over aging parents and kids coming home from college, politics, social injustice, and general uncertainty all at one time. These are just some of the things that have most of us on edge, much more so than usual. There’s a lot that preoccupies our thoughts and attention these days, which could easily leave someone wondering if their spouse still loves them. 

Have they lost that lovin’ feeling?

First, are you questioning your spouse’s feelings for you because they are no longer doing the things they did before that made you feel loved? Have current life circumstances just gotten in the way of you feeling loved by your spouse? Or maybe you’ve spent so much time together lately that your relationship feels a bit stale or boring—like the fireworks just aren’t there? 

How do you receive love?

People have various ways of expressing and receiving love. It is not unusual for love to look different in the midst of a crisis. Some people just don’t feel loveable at the moment.

Some people think saying “I love you” is enough to express their feelings and make someone feel their affection. Working hard and providing could be a way of showing love, but if that person is never home, it may not feel like love to the other spouse. Another spouse might show love by keeping the car clean and full of gas, but a clean car isn’t really a big deal to their spouse. You get the idea. My point is, how someone feels love is different from person to person.

If you are wondering if your spouse still loves you, there’s one sure way to find out: ASK!

Let’s Talk!

Find a good time to have an honest conversation with them. Let them know what their affection means to you and share that you are struggling a bit with knowing they still care. If there are ways they expressed love to you in the past that they aren’t currently doing, perhaps you could let them know you miss those things.

You also might ask if there is something bothering your spouse that the two of you need to discuss and work through. Maybe something is creating a disconnect between the two of you that you have no clue about. 

Communication is the key.

If you avoid talking about how you are feeling, you could end up operating out of a lot of assumptions, none of which may be true. Your spouse may love you very much and it may surprise them that you are questioning their love for you. 

Do they know what speaks love to you? Everybody has a different love language. If they ask you for specific ways they can help you feel their love, be prepared to give them some specifics.

It is totally possible that your spouse loves you deeply, but doesn’t love who they are very much at the moment. Stress and high anxiety have a way of making us feel prickly, and you know how that goes—the ones we love the most and are the closest to get the brunt of it when we are struggling.

Ask for help.

If in having the conversation with your spouse, you find that there are issues between the two of you, don’t be afraid to seek help. There are plenty of excellent counselors who can help you work through whatever has come between you. 

Don’t underestimate the toll COVID-19 can be having on your marriage. There are so many things hitting on your marriage at the same time, it magnifies our feelings, our thoughts, and our responses. Now is not the time to make any hasty decisions concerning your marriage. Now is the time to be patient, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and trust that COVID-19 will not go on forever.

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

Image from Pexels.com

COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE FULFILLING, NOT FRUSTRATING.

With the right tools, you and your spouse can have the best communication ever!

This easy-to-use virtual 5-day course guides you and your spouse to have the best communication you’ve ever had! Through this course, you will learn:

  • How to establish healthy communication habits
  • The secrets to creating a deep connection through communication
  • Skills to help you (and your spouse) be a better speaker and listener
  • How to celebrate and understand your different communication styles
  • And so much more!

What if we refuse to be victims of a virus? Hear me out. What if our COVID-19 Global Pandemic Battle Cry is simply these three A’s: Assess, Adapt and Achieve. What if we strive to keep them at the forefront of our thinking? Let it be our mantra. Make it our self-talk, so we don’t just settle for just making it through? What would our lives become?

Let’s rehearse these three A’s so that we respond to all of this insanity and not just react. It will help us keep our cool and stay in control. We can refuse to let these circumstances victimize us, our marriages, our families, and friendships. Assess, Adapt, Achieve. Let’s Triple-A our way through so we can thrive during the COVID-19 outbreak and all this stuff, because don’t you want to be even better on the other side? 

Assess.

This means that I am constantly trying to feed my brain accurate, honest, up-to-the-minute information about what is going on inside and outside of me. I try to honestly inventory my emotions and psyche. How am I doing—really doing? How is my physical health? And, how am I doing as an employee, neighbor, friend, husband, and father?

How is my family doing? Do I even know? Have our routines set us up for maximum success during this strange new time? Are their needs being met—physical, emotional, and relational? Am I taking proper care of myself so I can properly take care of them?

What about my marriage? Are we just coexisting under the same roof? Are these circumstances driving us toward each other or apart? Will we be able to look back and say, “Look how it strengthened our marriage, but yeah, it was crazy!” or are we just going crazy? Am I open and available emotionally? Am I tuned in to her needs? Would my spouse share my assessment?

And how about my friends and neighbors? The people within my sphere of influence? Am I checking in on them? Do I recognize who is vulnerable right now? It’s not all about me!

Oh, that virus? Almost forgot. Not. My. Job. I check in on it every few days and I let the CDC do their thing. I do get their expert assessment and make sure I’m doing what they recommend. Otherwise, I’m off the news and super-careful on social media. I’m not going to be irresponsible, but my day isn’t gonna revolve around a microbe.

Assess. Gauge. Evaluate. What’s working for me, my marriage, and my family? What isn’t working? Where are the pressure points in my life? How are my kids’ gauges reading? When is the last time I checked? Where do I need to put my focus, attention, and energy? This isn’t the time to be passive or run on assumptions. Too much at stake!

Adapt.

This is the hard part. I don’t know you. I don’t know your family situation. And, I don’t know your work or financial situation. But here’s what I do know. I do know that after an honest, accurate assessment, you will have to make changes. You will have to be flexible and adapt. 

Some long-standing traditions will have to give way to new traditions. You may need to raise or lower some expectations and get real. You may have to think outside the box and get creative. And you may even have to recalibrate some priorities. 

It might be a tiny adjustment like using FaceTime instead of just texting someone. You might find an area that needs a total overhaul. Get to it. Everything is changing, but are you adapting? There is a huge difference. Then go back to assess. Then keep adapting. Stay a step ahead of the enemy.

Achieve. 

So much of this is mental. It’s mindset. Are these hammers beating you down, beating your marriage down, beating your family down or are the hammers beating you into shape? Are these all new obstacles or all new opportunities to help you thrive during the COVID-19 outbreak? 

We are all getting squeezed—maybe like never before—and what is on the inside is going to come out. Are we finding out that we are all wishbone and no backbone? Time to rise to the moment. We can wish things were different or we can work to make them different, work to be different. Use that backbone and lean into these challenges.

This isn’t the “new normal.” Reject that mindset. Because we aren’t settling and we aren’t just surviving. We need to win. We’re not in a holding pattern. We aren’t simply waiting for this to blow over. 

We are working to not waste this situation so we can thrive during the COVID-19 outbreak.★ 

We aren’t hoping. Instead, we are helping. We want nothing less than to be stronger people in stronger marriages with stronger families. Did you get that? We will settle for nothing less than to be stronger people in stronger marriages with stronger families. We don’t want to just make it to the other side, we want to get there better and stronger than we were before all this. Remember the Triple-A’s.

Yeah, things are pretty dark. But midnight is when the day begins.

Image from Unsplash.com

Conditions are perfect for a Silent Killer to attack our minds, bodies, and most specifically, the emotions within our new culture of social-distancing. That Silent Killer? Loneliness. And if you’re feeling lonely during COVID-19, you’re not alone.

Let’s understand what loneliness is. Social scientists, at the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), define loneliness as “the pain one feels as a result of a discrepancy between one’s social needs and one’s ability to satisfy those needs.” 

Edicts such as “social distancing,” “work from home,” and “shelter-in-place,” can all set the stage for increased loneliness during COVID-19. Regular activities such as after-work trips to the bar, small group studies, birthday parties, Saturday/Sunday worship are halted. Our workplaces, schools, and civic communities are all places where we often connect and interact with people. These places, where we connect with people who help us feel as though we belong, have closed their doors. 

It’s important that we do not allow ourselves to feel helpless during this time of forced isolation.

This is one area where technology can truly help. My son and I have been part of a small group that meets every other week. Last night was the first time we did the meeting online because of COVID-19. It was quite uplifting. 

Thankfully, we interacted with people we have deep connections with within a community that we belonged to. We were able to laugh, talk and just be known by people who care about us. We decided to meet every week instead of every other week because we realized how encouraging it was for our psyche. Part of the purpose of forming social communities is to help us push through difficult times.

How do we use technology to help us ward off the attack of loneliness during COVID-19?

Don’t cancel the coffee dates you have with your friends or the post-work drink you have with your co-workers. Continue with your small group meetings and your marriage double dates with your favorite couple. JUST DO IT ONLINE. Schedule a Virtual Date using Google Meet, FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, Houseparty or any other apps available. 

Phone calls are nice and text messages can be helpful. However, there is nothing that compares to actual face-to-face interaction and what it does for our emotional connectivity. The ability to see the empathy, shared joy, or the heavy anxiety on your friend’s face enhances the connection. And it does so in ways that emojis and tone of voice can’t quite match. 

Fighting loneliness is not about the number of people you interact with.

Shasta Nelson is a healthy relationship expert and author of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of Girlfriends. Nelson doesn’t believe that the answer to loneliness is to go out and make more friends, but to deepen current relationships. Instead, it’s being intentional to create opportunities for meaningful interaction within the communities you belong to. And within those meaningful interactions, we must take advantage of the opportunities to connect at a deeper level, to be vulnerable, to be known.

Think about the people in your social community—whether it is family, friends, civic, faith, etc.

Who do you already have deep connections with? Who do you want to develop deeper connections with? And who are the people that you feel the safest with? Sure, we need to feel loved and supported during difficult times. But we must also remember others that are most vulnerable to loneliness as well. Reaching out to those in need is a way to attack our own loneliness during COVID-19.

Nelson suggests that when someone is feeling a deficiency of love and support, “[they should] consider who in their life they would want to build a more meaningful or closer relationship with and then make a list. Start prioritizing those relationships.” There are times when loneliness is at a place where we need to call and get help from the professionals. Don’t feel like you have to win this by yourself. Many professionals are meeting via phone or video conferencing during this period of social distancing.


As we are being intentional about prioritizing relationships, don’t hesitate to meet online for coffee. Schedule a tea using Google Meet. Create a calendar invite for your book club on Zoom. Use Skype for you and your buddies to work out together. Set up a video chat with an elderly neighbor. Create virtual dates within your social community to lessen and hopefully minimize the discrepancy between your social needs and your ability to meet those needs. And while you’re interacting, connect—really connect. Your emotional wellbeing needs it.

Image from Pexels.com

More blogs on loneliness:

Feeling Lonely in Your Marriage? Here’s What to Do.

5 Ways to Overcome Loneliness in America

How Family Structure Impacts Loneliness

Does family structure impact loneliness? For decades, concern has been expressed about how family breakdown impacts children. But the future impact on adults hasn’t received much attention. That’s changing.

In 2018, a Cigna study set off alarms about loneliness and its potential root causes. It indicated loneliness is at epidemic proportions in America. 

In an article for City Journal, Kay Hymowitz, William E. Simon Fellow at the Manhattan Institute and author of Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boysand The New Brooklyn: How to Bring a City Back, addresses how the rise in the breakdown of the family has created an increase in kinlessness. This phenomenon is impacting older adults in profound ways.

Hymowitz cites studies, including one by Ashton M. Verdery and Rachel Margolis, that showed a surge in the number of “kinless” older adults. 

“A jump in the number of never-married and divorced adults is also part of the kinlessness story,” writes Hymowitz. “Baby boomers were the first generation to divorce in large numbers. They continue to split up even as they amble into their golden years. This gives rise to the phenomenon known as “gray divorce.”

Hymowitz also cites Robert Putnam’s work Bowling Alone, where Putnam raised the caution flag about the decline people were experiencing in social capital, especially the likelihood that boomers would experience a lonelier old age than the greatest generation before them. 

Divorced people don’t typically have ex-spouses who are willing to take care of them in their old age or illness. Nor do stepchildren typically care for stepparents as they would care for their biological parent. Even biological parents who walked away from their children now find themselves navigating old age alone

Verdery and Margolis summarize their findings. “Evidence is accumulating that the legacy of divorce and remarriage has a long reach straining intergenerational relationships and suppressing the support that divorced parents, stepparents and remarried biological parents might expect from their children later in life.”

Additionally, Hymowitz mentions cohabitation as a key ingredient in the rise of kinlessness.

“Superficially, cohabitation looks roughly equivalent to marriage; couples live together as ‘husband and wife,’ sharing a bed, living space, meals and in many cases children, but without the ring and city-hall certificate,” Hymowitz says. She asserts that the increase in couples who are living together has added to the fragility of post-transition relations.

Consider this: 

Cohabiting couples break up faster and more often than married couples. Separated, cohabiting fathers prove more likely to withdraw from their children’s lives than divorced dads. Cohabiting and single parents have looser ties to their own parents and friends than marrieds. Plus, the Cigna study found that single parents as a whole represent the loneliest Americans.

“Even evolutionary-psychology skeptics, might notice that though marriage has shape-shifted over the centuries and across cultures, it has always defined those people – spouses, parents, children, grandparents, siblings, in-laws – to whom we owe special attention and mutual protection,” Hymowitz says. “Marriage creates kin; cohabitation does not. Some of the most crucial obligations of kinship have always been to tend to the sick and to bury the dead.”

It is worth noting that even today, the vast majority of unpaid caretaking of the aging in the U.S. is done by relatives, according to Putnam.

Hymowitz surmises that a lot of what’s happening is due to a change of what the family is. Hymowitz points out that kinless elders often show hoarder tendencies. They hang on to every stray electric bill, used coffee cup or odd bit of broken furniture. They cling to their stuff for lack of meaningful human interaction.

“Uprootedness uproots everything except the need for roots,” wrote American historian Christopher Lasch. Hymowitz believes one of our greatest challenges is to communicate that need to coming generations before they make decisions that will further fragment their lives and communities.

In conclusion, Hymowitz reminds us that the policy discussions about the troubles of the American working class and poor center on vocational and technical education, higher-paying and reliable jobs and benefits. These are necessary efforts, but they are not enough to counter the loneliness, kinlessness and despair crushing so many spirits. The solution must include what Tom Wolfe called a “great relearning.” This great relearning includes how to satisfy the human longing for continuity and connection.

This article originally published in the Chattanooga Times Free Press on June 14, 2019.

Looking for more relationship resources? Click here!

We are a nation of millions, but Cigna Health Insurance recently released a national survey that reveals we are a lonely nation. 

According to the survey of more than 20,000 U.S. adults:

  • Nearly half of Americans report sometimes or always feeling alone or left out.

  • One in 4 Americans rarely or never feel as though people really understand them.

  • Two in 5 Americans sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are isolated from others.

  • One in 5 people report they rarely or never feel close to people or feel like there are people they can talk to.

  • Americans who live with others are less likely to be lonely compared to those who live alone. However, this does not apply to single parents/guardians – even though they live with children, they are more likely to be lonely.

  • Only a little more than half of Americans have meaningful in-person social interactions on a daily basis, such as having an extended conversation with a friend or spending quality time with family.

  • Generation Z (adults ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation and claims to be in worse health than older generations.

  • Social media use alone is not a predictor of lonelinessRespondents defined as very heavy users of social media and those who never use social media have similar loneliness scores.

Even though there are more ways than ever before to connect with others, the struggle to feel connected is very real and can not only lead to emotional issues, but physical ones as well.

According to David M. Cordani, president and CEO of Cigna, this lack of human connection ultimately leads to a lack of vitality. 

The good news is that this study reinforces that we are social creatures made for relationship and that communities matter. Less-lonely people are more likely to have regular, meaningful, in-person interactions and are in good overall physical and mental health. They have also achieved balance in daily activities, are employed and have good relationships with their coworkers. 

More specifically, the survey showed that getting the right balance of sleep, work, socializing with friends, family and “me time” is connected to lower loneliness scores. However, balance is critical, as those who get too little or too much of these activities have higher loneliness scores. Here are some details:

  • Sleep: Those who say they sleep just the right amount have lower loneliness scores.

  • Spending time with family: Those who spend more or less time than desired with their family are on par with one another when it comes to experiencing feelings of loneliness.

  • Physical activity: People who say they get just the right amount of exercise are considerably less likely to be lonely

  • The workplace: Those who say they work just the right amount are least likely to be lonelyloneliness score of those who work more than desired increases by just over three points, while those who work less than desired showed a 6-point increase in loneliness

If you are one of the millions feeling trapped by loneliness, here are five strategies for overcoming it.

  • Put down the technology. While gaming and social media make you think you are connecting with people, your brain knows otherwise. 

  • Make a move. When you are lonely, it is easy to tell yourself nobody wants to be around you anyway. If you are breathing, you are meant to be in relationship with others. Making the first move toward relationships with others can often be the most difficult. 

  • Be intentional about putting yourself in situations where you can have human interaction and create relationships. It could be a class, a recreational hiking club or something else. Think about things you enjoy doing. Find others who are doing that thing and join them.

  • Know the difference in being lonely and spending time by yourself. Quiet time to rejuvenate and get your head together is healthy. Spending all of your time alone and away from people is not.

  • Find a way to help others, minimize your time alone and utilize your talents in the community. Volunteer at a local food bank, pet shelter or other nonprofit.