What to Do When You Don’t Really Like Your In-Laws
In-laws are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. They might blow through boundaries. Your in-laws might meddle in your marriage. You might even be having a hard time living with your in-laws. Possibly, they’re totally toxic. This isn’t about any of those things.
Sometimes, your in-laws are just difficult to get along with. But you want to try to have a good relationship with them.
After a few years of marriage (or less), you soon realize saying “yes” to forever with your spouse really did mean saying “yes” to forever with their family, as well as uncomfortable holidays and long weekends filled with awkward situations and tension for as long as you both shall live.
You want to like your in-laws. You’ve tried to like them. But you don’t.
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE YOU DON’T REALLY LIKE?
First of all, did you notice I said “get along with” and not “like?”
The truth is, you may never like your in-laws. And that’s totally fine. You don’t have to. It’s just important to keep the drama and the tension to a minimum as much as you can for the sake of your spouse and your children (if you have them). Even though you formed a new family when you were married, your in-laws are the reason you have your spouse and a new family to begin with. If nothing else, try to respect them for giving you your spouse.
Secondly, be as empathetic as possible.
Maybe your mother-in-law is mega passive-aggressive and a little odd, and your father-in-law is just kind of a jerk all the time. TRY (keyword here) to look past their glaring flaws and put yourself in their shoes. For instance, your mother-in-law may be passive-aggressive because she really just wants to spend more time with you but doesn’t know how to say it. Maybe she’s even a little intimidated by you. (Note: If you’re the daughter-in-law, this is NOT uncommon… I mean, you did take her place as the prioritized woman in her son’s life. Forever.)
And, maybe your father-in-law is a little unhappy with himself or unfulfilled in his life. Maybe they’re both a little off because their marriage and relationships aren’t as healthy as they used to be and they have some resentment and anger to work through. Being empathetic doesn’t mean you excuse their behavior. It just means you take a different approach to understand their motives and actions.1
Third, tell your spouse about your uneasy feelings, but remember you’re talking about their parents.
Be vulnerable and open with your spouse every chance you get. But, when it comes to talking about their parents, keep in mind that there’s a fine line between stating your feelings and being critical of their family. It’s okay to say, “I felt sad when I heard your dad talk to your mom in that tone of voice.” It’s not okay to say, “Your dad is a total jerkface. I can’t believe your mom has stayed with him this long.”
Be sensitive. The truth is, your spouse more than likely already knows there are some odd bits about their parents. They did live with them during their most formative years.
Fourth, set those boundaries with a smile.
You and your spouse want to start a new tradition around the holidays, but your in-laws insist that you come to visit them. Kindly and firmly say, “No.” If you want your in-laws to call before dropping by, tell them! Maybe you would prefer that your father-in-law not watch certain shows around your children. Let. Him. Know. Setting boundaries keeps things nice and tidy and leaves the guesswork off the table.2
ALSO, and this is very important, each spouse should set boundaries with their own family. So, you talk to your family, and your spouse talks to their family. It’s much easier for a parent to have a potentially dicey conversation with their child than with their in-law.
IF your in-laws don’t like one of your boundaries, and they throw a big fit, let them. You do you and what’s best for your family. If they get so mad that they never want to see you or speak to you again, then that boundary worked out more in your favor than you ever imagined it could. (Jk. Jk.) But, seriously. You can’t change or control their reaction. If they act immaturely about it, it’s not your fault. That’s their issue.
Fifth, different doesn’t mean wrong.
Everyone’s family has a certain way of doing things. It’s totally natural and normal for your in-laws to do things differently than what you’re used to, but it doesn’t mean they’re wrong. And it also doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It just means you’re different. For example, you grew up having a big feast on Thanksgiving. Your mom made awesome cinnamon rolls and a giant fruit tray, and your dad made the best omelets you’ve ever tasted. But, your in-laws go to McDonald’s and grab Egg McMuffins. It may seem weird to you, and not as fun or exciting, but it doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It’s just their way of doing things. Accept them for who they are and try not to look down on them for not living up to your standards or expectations.
Last but not least, texts go both ways.
Pursue your in-laws. That’s right. You heard me. Be friendly to them. Make an effort. They’re your family, too. Sending a text every now and again to check in won’t hurt you, and you know it’ll make them feel loved (even if you don’t like them). Send them cards on their birthdays. Invite them to big celebrations in your life. Let them learn more about you and your life. Who knows? You may just influence them to be a little more likable.
Marriage is hard and family is complicated. Both take a lot of work, but the reward of deep, meaningful connection is so worth it in the end. While you may never reach a level of relational bliss with your in-laws, these six guidelines should keep the drama to a minimum and maintain peace in your marriage.
SOURCES
1Limary. (2002). The mother -in -law /daughter -in -law dyad: Narratives of relational development among in -laws. ProQuest Dissertations Publishing.
2Peterson, E. & Solomon, D. (1998). Maintaining healthy boundaries in professional relationships: a balancing act. PMID: 10030211
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If you have multiple children with different personalities, is it possible to parent them all the same way?
Even if you just have two kids, you know the pressure to treat them both the same.
I am the proud parent of three smart, handsome, curious sons and often refer to them as “The Boys.” It would be so very tempting and easy to parent them exactly the same way and to make the three of them conform to me. Yes, they are all my sons, but each one of them is a fearfully and wonderfully made individual.
I attempted the “all-for-one” parenting style for a while. The rules and consequences were the same for all. Bedtimes were the same for all. I had an interesting encounter with my then 5-year-old son where he asked me why his 14-year-old brother got to sleep downstairs, and he had to sleep upstairs with us.
This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road in parenting.
I recognized that I have three sons in three different stages of life. The recognition that I have to communicate, discipline, and spend time with each of them differently caused me to become Three Parents: Advisor Mom for my oldest; Relator Mom for my middle son and Hands-On Mom for my youngest. I now try to meet the individual needs of each of my children, and worry less about what they consider “fair.” I have become the parent that they need instead of the “throw noodles on the wall and see what sticks” parent.
In order to become the best parent they need, I use the following steps:
- Know your child:
I am very clear on who they are. Each of them has their own likes, dislikes, and aspirations. I am able to recognize their moods – when they are hungry, sad, or just need time alone. I spend time with each of them. I would take my oldest grocery shopping with me. He was leaving for college and I wanted to teach him about shopping and meal planning. My middle son and I talk as I drive him to school. My youngest wants to watch movies with me while he holds my hand. I am being three parents all at the same time. - Don’t compare your children to each other:
As a young person, I was compared to another family member. As a result, I vowed to see the unique value that each of my sons brings to the world. I am conscious not to say, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” We often have children who make parenting them seem ‘easy’ because they are compliant or have an easy-going disposition, while your other child is defiant, stubborn or moody. It is natural to want them all to be the same, but it’s not realistic. - Realize that this parenting style takes time, energy, insight, effort, and adaptability:
Using this approach to parenting will make you tired. It takes time and effort. It takes time responding to individual needs rather than reacting to the tyranny of the urgent and just reaching into my parenting bag of tricks.
My life as a parent is full.
I may feel pulled in several different directions, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see my sons growing into the young men that they were created to be. This job of parenting may require me to have three different personalities, but the end result is worth it.
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Not long ago, I wrote a provocative column concerning men and marriageability. At the end I asked, “What will we do to help our boys succeed in life and relationships?” The good news is, we can do all kinds of things to ensure that boys and girls have the same opportunities in education, earning potential and life in general.
Many researchers believe that the educational system itself plays a large role in how well boys do or don’t fare. Others cite technology and video games, the breakdown of the family, the focus on women’s equality or the lack of positive male role models as reasons – just to name a few. The reality is that ALL of these things contribute to whether boys succeed or fail.
Will Honeycutt, assistant director of counseling at The McCallie School for Boys, believes that technology plays a role in disconnecting boys from real life. Whether it’s binge-watching episodes of Game of Thrones over a weekend, playing video games or being entrenched in social media, technology is isolating boys from valuable experiences, interacting with others, engaging in conversation, learning emotional regulation and figuring out who they are as a person.
So, how can we help boys thrive in an ever-changing culture?
Troy Kemp, executive director for The National Center for the Development of Boys in Chattanooga, Tenn., has some ideas we can use, whether at home or in the community.
BOYS AND GIRLS ARE NOT THE SAME
Boys are different than girls – not better than – but different. Their bodies and brains mature differently, and they take in and process information differently. Boys and girls have varying strengths and weaknesses.
Research shows that teaching in educational settings leans heavily toward the strengths of the female brain, so actively addressing variety in learning styles and responses is a great place to start. Teachers can choose reading materials to reflect the interests of boys. Boys need to be surrounded by positive influences that will help them break through the popular culture’s narrow definition of manhood, and having more male teachers in the classroom would be a step in the right direction.
WHAT ABOUT AT HOME?
Kemp feels that parents need to educate themselves about how boys (and others who wiggle) learn best and what intrinsically motivates them. Boys need examples of excellence, and using words and visuals can help them see things more fully and hold their attention. It is important that we don’t automatically assume boys aren’t trying if they don’t respond the way we want or expect. It may be possible that we didn’t clearly express our expectations, which may be very different from theirs.
According to Kemp, boys also need to develop a proper vision for manhood and masculinity. In order to achieve that vision, they need to be exposed to male mentors who are balanced in their approach to life, learning, unconditional love and emotions. Having a community of men who are behind them makes a great impact and prepares them to mentor others.
“Boys need a crew and a cause,” says Kemp. “They need to know someone is counting on them and they can count on others. Boys need to know what is important to them is also important to parents…especially their fathers.”
If you’re a father, get on your son’s level and don’t discount what is important to him. Give him choices within the choices you approve.
Parents can model responsibility and healthy relationships with technology and everything else.
- Count the number of hours boys are in front of screens. Excessive amounts of screen time for children, especially boys, can be detrimental to healthy brain development.
- Make sure they are getting at least two hours of physical exercise every day. Don’t pull your son from a team or group if his grades drop. Work with the coach or group leader and use their power and influence.
- Be intentional about teaching and modeling the qualities of healthy relationships and don’t assume they know what unhealthy looks like.
- Drive-time is a great time for conversation about what a lot of teens consider awkward topics. That way, nobody is looking at facial expressions. You can make it a media-free moment, too.
- Take advantage of current situations. Talk about accountability and responsibility. Include healthy ways to handle anger or disappointment and treating people with respect who are disrespectful to you.
- Point them toward healthy role models beyond Mom and Dad – coaches, trusted friends and relatives – so they have more than their parents speaking into their lives and encouraging them on their journey into adulthood.
- Spend one-on-one time with your child. Let them set the agenda for your time together. Fathers, try reading to and with your children.
- Volunteer together as a family. Go on a mission trip, help out at a local nonprofit or do something that involves giving to others. There is a real chemical reaction in the brain when we help others in need. It makes us feel good and makes us want to do more acts of kindness.
All of these things combined can help boys thrive in school and in life.
Boys with a strong support system have a foundation to build upon as they enter manhood and make wise decisions about their future.
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Why New Dads Should Take Parental Leave
When groups of women who work together become pregnant at the same time, workplace conversations usually surround the fact that the department will have a hard time when these women all take maternity leave.
Contrast that response to a story that hit the airwaves about seven firefighters at the same fire station in Oklahoma. Their wives became pregnant around the same time, but no one really commented about how the station would operate while these dads took time off to be with their newborn babies.
While moms are essential to infant care, many people often overlook or don’t discuss the benefits to mom and child when the father is more involved in the caregiving process.
Articles from the Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses (AWHONN) highlight the fact that father-infant bonding is just as important as mother-infant bonding. In fact, delayed bonding can alter the long-term course of paternal involvement as the infant progresses throughout childhood and adolescence. It can also increase the risk of paternal postpartum depression.
According to the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic, & Neonatal Nursing:
- Fathers reported that they didn’t start to experience fatherhood until birth.
- Mothers reported that they started to experience motherhood as soon they discovered they were pregnant.
- Although most fathers expect to bond emotionally and immediately with their newborns, some fathers still did not feel bonded to their infants as long as six weeks to two months after birth.
Successful father-infant bonding during the immediate postpartum period offers several benefits for the infant:
- It reduces cognitive delay,
- Promotes weight gain in preterm infants, and
- Improves breastfeeding rates.
- Research shows that when the father frequently visits their prematurely-born child in the hospital, babies are more likely to get out of the hospital sooner, develop their brains better and have more psychomotor functioning. The more the father can be there, the better the child tends to improve.
A study by Kyle Pruett at Yale University showed that even for children born full-term, the importance of father involvement is enormous.
- A father breathing on the child when it is first born helps the bonding process to occur. It changes the dad’s brain, too!
- The sooner the father gets involved with the child, neurons in the male brain begin to develop and connect with each other – mimicking the mother instinct.
- When fathers are involved, their oxytocin levels go up and testosterone levels go down, and Dad is satisfied from the emotional intimacy with his child. Mother and child benefit from that, too.
“Father-infant bonding is an issue that is not discussed enough and is just as important as mother-infant bonding during the immediate postpartum period,” said AWHONN’s Chief Executive Officer, Lynn Erdman, MN, RN, FAAN. “It is vitally important for a father to interact and bond with his newborn to help the infant’s development and to reduce the risk of paternal postpartum depression.”
New dads can bond with their unborn children by talking, singing or reading to them in the womb. AWHONN offers these tips to help dads continue the bonding process after the baby arrives:
- Jump right in. Don’t be afraid to begin immediately caring for and loving your baby. The more you hold your baby, the more comfortable and natural it will feel.
- Take a night shift. Once mom is breastfeeding well, she may want to let you give the baby a nighttime meal. This way she can get more sleep and you will have the opportunity to bond with your newborn.
- Read your newborn a book. Your newborn will enjoy the rhythm and pace of your voice while you read a book. In these early months, it’s not about what you’re reading; it’s about reading itself.
- Initiate the bath. Bathing your newborn will enhance bonding and provide a multi-sensory learning experience.
- Create a bedtime ritual. Infants will learn to depend on the consistency and predictability of a nighttime routine.
The research is solid that fathers profoundly impact the lives of their children, even as infants. While you may think bonding with Mom is more important for the baby, you might want to think again. As a new dad, this is actually a one-time opportunity to give your child a gift money can’t buy. That gift is time with you, and more benefits for your family than you realize.
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When Should Your Teen Date?
“When will I be old enough to date?” It’s a question many parents dread. You’ve known it was coming, but you also realize you are crossing over into a whole new world with lots of moving parts, plenty of which you cannot control.
You may reply sarcastically, “When you’re 30!” Or, you may try to be a bit more realistic and really wrestle with the right age for your child to date, which may be different depending on the child.
A study published in The Journal of School Health found that dating during the teen years can help teens learn social skills and grow in emotional intelligence. But guess what? Not dating during these years actually has benefits as well.
Here’s what they found:
- The non-dating students had similar or better interpersonal skills than their more frequently dating peers.
- While the scores of self-reported positive relationships with friends, at home and at school did not differ between dating and non-dating peers, teachers rated the non-dating students significantly higher for social skills and leadership skills than their dating peers.
- The study indicated that students who didn’t date were also less likely to be depressed. Teachers’ scores on the depression scale were significantly lower for the group that reported no dating. And, the proportion of students who self-reported being sad or hopeless was significantly lower within this group as well.
Teen dating relationships today are complicated. Here are just a sample of the thoughts teens have, and the drama that often accompanies dating relationships is a whole other discussion that cannot be disregarded.
“Does she like me?”
“Is he cheating on me?”
“I’m scared of what he will do if I break up with him. I think he might hurt himself.”
“Are his constant questions about where I am, what I am doing, who I am with, and what I am wearing signs of how much he loves me?”
“Do I break up with him because he is mean or stay with him because a bad relationship is better than being in no relationship?”
In an endless sea of questions, some teens feel intense pressure to date and be in the “cool” crowd while others could care less. Either ways, this is a time to pour into your teen the qualities that will help them navigate relationships in a healthy way, whether it is romantic or not.
The following things are important to keep in the forefront of your mind as you seek to teach your teen how to engage in relationships with others.
- They still need your guidance. The prefrontal cortex, or the rational part of the brain that helps with planning, decision-making, problem-solving, self-control and thinking about long-term actions and their consequences, is nowhere near fully formed, and it won’t be until age 25 or so. This has huge implications for teen behavior.
- Healthy relationship skills don’t come naturally, even if your teen seems super smart. They are the result of intentional teaching and modeling of behavior such as looking someone in the eyes during a conversation, using a respectful versus disrespectful tone of voice, and having high regard for one’s feelings.
- What your teen does in high school absolutely will follow them into adulthood and impact future relationships. Set standards, develop a strategy and don’t allow them to believe the lie that how they treat others now (or allow themselves to be treated) won’t impact them later. Unfortunately, this is a harsh reality many have experienced.
- Sexual activity affects teens’ mental and emotional health. While the culture often pushes that having sex in the teen years is perfectly normal, plenty of young adults now believe that kind of relationship in high school created more anxiety, stress and depression for them and distracted them from truly enjoying the teen years.
- They need to hear from you that their value and worth is not dependent on their relationship status. Friendships can be rich, deep and rewarding. Teens need to know and appreciate that their uniqueness is what makes them individuals.
- Experiencing a range of emotions in relationships is normal, and it helps teens build their emotional regulation muscle. It is beneficial to know how they are feeling. Through that, they will learn to handle the intensity of the emotions that come with being in any relationship with others.
So, when will your child be old enough to date?
Great question! It’s definitely something you should consider with great care ahead of time. Waiting until they are 30 for sure isn’t the right answer. Agreed-upon guidelines for when the time is right will be important. And, it may be comforting to you and to your teen to know that in no way does it mean they are missing out if they don’t date at all during the teen years.
7 Ways to Promote Good Sportsmanship
As a tennis phenom, Coco Gauff has quite the following as a result of her incredible skills on the court.
After losing at the U.S. Open to Naomi Osaka, a tearful Coco headed to the locker room when something amazing happened. Osaka approached Coco, hugged her and asked her to do the interview normally reserved for the winner with her. Coco insisted that she shouldn’t because she would cry. Osaka responded, “No, you’re good. Look, you are amazing.”
Coco joined Osaka in spite of the tears. When Osaka spoke she addressed Coco’s parents, telling them that they raised an amazing player. She said she recalled seeing them in the same training facility and that she thought it was really incredible that both of them had made it this far, again reiterating that she thought Coco was amazing. All of this came from the number one female tennis player in the world.
A winner graciously sharing the limelight with her opponent was a powerful moment on so many levels.
Perhaps parents and players alike could follow Osaka’s lead: playing hard, leaving it all on the court or the field and practicing humility whether you are the winner or not.
You can encourage great sportsmanship by intentionally teaching your kids what it looks like. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Bring your best to the game. Be as prepared as possible and give it your all.
- Discuss what being a gracious winner looks like and how to accept loss without being a sore loser.
- Talk about what good sportsmanship looks like during the game – playing clean and fair, helping opposing team members up, not bullying, and shaking hands at the end of the game regardless of whether you win or lose.
- Avoid letting others’ behavior dictate how you behave.
- Teach your child to learn from their mistakes versus sulking.
- Discuss the importance of following instructions.
- Talk about what it means to be a team player, even if you are the best player on the team.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the game when your kids are playing. But remember – your kids either follow your lead or are dying from embarrassment because you are that parent. Consider these things as you sit on the sidelines:
- They have a coach. Let their coach do his/her job.
- Avoid arguing with the coaches or referees.
- Be respectful of the other team regardless of their ability.
- Keep your perspective. Regardless of the sport you are watching, these are kids, and even the college students are still in their teens. Most of them will not go on to play professional sports. They play for the love of the sport.
Someone once said, “Sports don’t build character, they reveal it.”
Osaka’s gracious behavior was not a fluke. It’s something she learned over time and has shown on more than one occasion. Although Osaka was the winner, she left her opponent feeling good about herself. That’s the sign of someone who has their ego in check and understands the impact of their behavior on others. Modeling great sportsmanship and character will teach your child skills they can use on and off the field.
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When children leave the nest, it can be a very traumatic time for parents. You may second-guess how well you have prepared them to be out on their own. You might even be thinking about how things will be different at home with all the new time you have on your hands. This is what you’ve been working toward all these years, but there’s just something about letting go. It’s going to be hard to adjust as your child leaves for college.
There is no question your role as parent shifts as your young adult grows even more independent. While your child is becoming his/her own person and pursuing their dreams, some parents really mourn this milestone – and there is nothing wrong with that. It is for sure a shift. Now, you get to watch them spread their wings while you take a background role of being supportive and encouraging as well as providing a safe place for them to come for rest.
If you are just beginning this adventure, it might be helpful to know a few things. Not everybody deals with this transition the same way. One parent may be experiencing tremendous grief while the other is excited not just for their college student, but also for the transition at home. Be careful not to judge. Instead, check in with each other to see how each of you is navigating through the change.
Talk about ways you can encourage your student while also caring for your own needs. Since you won’t be seeing your son or daughter every day, it might be helpful to write them weekly letters. Students say there is nothing better than going to their mailbox and actually having real mail. Periodic phone calls are great for staying connected, but letters are something they can keep and read over and over again.
If you are in the midst of making this transition, here are some suggestions for getting through the initial shock and how to adjust as your child leaves for college:
Plan ahead.
Don’t wait until the last minute to think about how you will deal with the extra time on your hands. Have some projects planned that you can focus on. Be intentional about planning things you can do on the weekend.
Set limits for yourself.
As your child settles into a new routine, there will be lots of demands on their time. Instead of calling every day, let your child make the first phone call and try to limit yourself to checking in once a week. Email is also a great way to stay in touch and be supportive without being intrusive.
Be there when your child needs you.
The first few months may also be hard for your child. Encourage them to hang in there. Send care packages and cards. Make your home a refuge they will want to come back to. Avoid making major changes to your child’s room.
Consider the next thing.
As your parenting role changes yet again, you will want to consider what’s next. Keep your eyes and heart open to where you need to go in life and what you want your life to be about.
Letting go can be especially hard, but it would be a shame to be so wrapped up in your loss that you miss what your child needs from you in this season of their life. You can adjust as your child leaves for college! Different seasons call for changes, and although this particular season is new to you, remember that you’ve dealt with changes and challenges since you brought them home. All those moments have led you to this place.
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Controlling your emotions is hard, regardless of your age. When you’re in the checkout line at the store and a 2-year-old has a meltdown because they can’t have a candy bar, nobody is shocked because well, they are two. It’s totally another story when an adult who is unable to regulate their emotions has a public meltdown.
Unfortunately, a rising number of teens and adults seem to be struggling with emotional and impulse control, and the results are often disastrous. Think road rage, someone cutting in line or even publicly expressing a different opinion in a rude manner.
The Child Mind Institute defines self-regulation as the ability to manage emotions and behavior in accordance with situational demands. Consider it a skill set that enables children, as they mature. It directs their own behavior toward a goal, despite the unpredictability of the world and their own feelings.
It includes:
- Being able to resist highly-emotional reactions to upsetting stimuli,
- Calming yourself down if you get upset,
- Adjusting to a change in expectations, and
- Handling frustration without an outburst.
Children who don’t learn this skill struggle to self-regulate as they get older. And, if you’ve ever experienced this out-of-control feeling, you know it’s not a good thing. Often controlling your emotions feels the same. There is good news, though. If you didn’t learn this skill as a child, it is still possible to learn it as an adult.
Your emotional brain processes information in two milliseconds. Keeping yourself under control during a frustrating experience involves being able to pause between the feeling and your response.
There is a trigger; someone pushes your buttons (we all have an easy button). An instant reaction follows, accompanied by a strong emotion, often followed by a feeling of remorse. This is the body’s automatic built-in protection system, AKA “fight, flight or freeze.”
Your rational brain, which helps you make sound decisions, processes information in 500 milliseconds, 250 times longer than your emotional brain. People have to learn how to assess situations quickly, but if they don’t pause long enough to discern what is actually happening, their emotional brain can take control before their rational brain has a chance to kick into gear.
If you or someone you know struggles with self-regulation, it’s not too late! You just have to be intentional about choosing to behave differently.
Think about what you can control and what you cannot. You cannot control how other people behave, but you can choose how you will respond or engage with them. Sometimes, the best response is to do nothing.
Learn how to master your feelings, versus letting them master you will serve you well. For example, when someone cuts you off when you’re driving, you suddenly feel your heart rate go up, adrenaline starts flowing, and your first instinct is to go after them. However, if you practice emotional regulation, you can take a breath, even acknowledge that that makes you angry, but then let it go because the consequences of your actions could bring harm to you, that driver and others who never involved themselves.
This should not be interpreted as people not being able to stand up for themselves or being silenced. Instead, learning how to master controlling your emotions can help people develop calm and constructive ways to have their voice heard. When people are out of control, it’s highly unlikely that anything positive will come from the situation.
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