Tag Archive for: Date

10 Red Flags in a Dating Relationship

If your goal is to have a healthy relationship, you’ll want to keep an eye out for these dating red flags. Paying attention to them can save you from heartache down the road.

Here are the 10 red flags in a dating relationship:

  • The person you are dating wants to dominate your time and/or keep you from friends and family.
  • Your date has anger issues.
  • He/she asks you to sacrifice your values for the sake of the relationship.
  • Your significant other disrespects and discourages you instead of encouraging and honoring you. 
  • Your date wants to control you – where you go, who you see, what you wear, etc.
  • When talking about past relationships, your date always blames the other party for the problems in their relationship.
  • Your dating relationship is in constant turmoil.
  • The date is rushing the getting to know you process.
  • Your friends don’t like him/her.
  • You continually make excuses for their behavior or he/she seems to be heading in the opposite direction of where you are headed in life.

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Tips for Setting Dating Standards With Your Teens

It is vital for teens to set and stick to dating standards as they build relationships. The role of a parent is that of teacher and encourager, not dictator.

Before your child gets to the level of maturity where he or she is ready to date, you should decide upon your dating standards. Determine how old your teenager must be to date. Set a curfew and describe in advance what the consequences will be for breaking this curfew and STICK TO THEM.

Additional expectations should be that your teen must always tell you:

  • Where he/she will be;
  • A phone number or numbers where he/she can be reached;
  • Who he/she is going out with;
  • What they will be doing; and
  • When he/she will return.
  • If they don’t know the answers to these questions, they don’t go out on the date.
  • If he/she is going to be late, a courtesy phone call is expected to let you know about the situation; this does not excuse coming in after curfew and the consequences set.
  • If your teenager is a female, let her know in advance that you expect her dates to come to the door to get her and to meet her parents.
  • Your teen should always carry enough money to get a cab/bus ride home if necessary.

Items for discussion before your teen dates:

  • Why does he/she want to date?
  • What does he/she hope to have happen?
  • Has your teen considered group dating? What are the benefits of group dating?
  • If you have a daughter preparing to date, does she have an emergency plan in case her date becomes forceful or violent? The “It won’t happen to me” plan is not good enough.
  • Encourage a first-date activity to be something that provides opportunity for lots of conversation.
  • Talk with your teenager about treating their date with respect. What does that look like?
  • Discuss the potential for hormonally-charged situations and how to avoid them.
  • What kind of messages might your teenager send by the kind of clothes they are or are not wearing? If you are the father of a teenage daughter, think about this subject very carefully, and make sure your daughter knows that men can be easily aroused by…you fill in the blanks for her. Instruct your sons to be respectful.
  • Who will be paying for the date? The parents or the teenager? What is a reasonable amount of money to spend on a date? Instruct your teenager that just because someone buys them dinner doesn’t mean they owe them anything.
  • Make sure your teenager knows that you are there for them and willing to listen if they need to talk.
  • If your teenager is female, talk about the dangers of dating guys much older than them.
  • Discuss the idea that dating is about developing a growing friendship—NOT about having sexual involvement.
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How Date Night Can Boost Your Relationship

When it comes to romancing your mate for special holidays like Valentine’s Day or birthdays, some couples have a head start on the celebration. Why? They’ve discovered that making regular time for each other is linked to lots of relationship benefits.

According to The Date Night Opportunity, a 2012 report released by the National Marriage Project, couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week:

  • Are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates, compared to couples who do not devote as much couple time to one another;
  • Are about three times more likely to report that they are “very happy” in their marriages;
  • Report higher levels of communication and commitment;
  • State that they have a highly satisfying sexual relationship compared to couples who spend less couple time together; and
  • Take that time as a chance to de-stress and engage in novel activities that are fun, active or otherwise arousing – from hiking or dancing to cooking together or playing cards.

Regular date nights can for sure boost your relationship, but they probably benefit couples most when they do more than dinner and a movie. Doing fun things together feels good, and your brain associates these times with pleasure.

Report co-author W. Bradford Wilcox states that:

  • The couples who find date night particularly valuable are those who are less integrated into the local civic or religious fabric of their communities and those who are less committed to one another; and
  • Couples with a more fragile foundation for their marriage need to devote more time to one another to keep their marriage strong.

It is always a good time to celebrate your own marriage and/or the marriages of those around you. Marriage is like anything else in life… cars, plants, or your body. If you don’t do preventive maintenance, a major overhaul could be on the horizon.

Most marriages begin with romantic love that is linked to passion, excitement and an overwhelming attraction to each other. Over time the passion fades, but date nights have the potential to make your ho-hum marriage spicy and meaningful again.

Date night can really boost your relationship. If couple time hasn’t been a part of your regular routine, here’s a challenge:

  • Start by making a 6-week commitment to set aside an hour or two each week for a date night.
  • Agree that you won’t talk about the kids, your job or the in-laws. You don’t have to spend a ton of money. Just play together.
  • At the end of the six weeks, take time to discuss any changes you have experienced in your relationship.

Who knows? “Couple time” might surprise you with the difference it makes in your relationship.

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Creative Date Ideas

This list of 20 can help you get your couple party started!

Going on a date doesn’t have to be expensive or stressful. Here are a few of our ideas:

  • Go for a hike in the mountains.
  • Watch a funny movie together.
  • Help out in a service organization together.
  • Grab something to eat and take it to the park for a picnic.
  • Go for a walk or jog.
  • Cook a meal together.
  • Go to a park, swing and play.
  • People-watch in the mall.
  • Go for a drive and explore new places.
  • Work out together.
  • Learn something new together.
  • Get dressed up and have a candlelight dinner at home.
  • Go to a historic site.
  • Philosophize under the stars. Share your hopes and dreams.
  • Play board games or cards.
  • Learn to play a sport together.
  • Read a book together.
  • Bury a treasure (like a big Hershey’s kiss) and take the other person on a treasure hunt to find it.
  • Throw the other person a surprise party for a special occasion.
  • Set up a mystery date.
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Planning Your Ultimate Date Night

Spending time together has amazing benefits.

Can planning a simple date night really make that much difference in a marriage? That’s a great question!

You probably know about the benefits of family meals and the preventative factors associated with pulling off this feat. For example, your children are less likely to try drugs and alcohol, and they’re more likely to do well in school. Believe it or not, the same thing applies to your marriage.

The Power of Connecting with Each Other

Eating meals together as a family and going on dates with your spouse is so impactful because of connectedness. Connecting in meaningful relationships such as marriage and family tends to make you feel more secure, supported, understood and valued. This usually leads to more positive interactions with loved ones.

Some find it hard to believe that simply going on regular date nights can actually enhance your marriage. Yet studies show that couples who engage in novel activities that are fun, active or otherwise arousing – from hiking and dancing to travel and card games – enjoy higher levels of relationship quality. Spending time together also counteracts your tendency to take each other for granted.

Regular date nights may potentially reduce unnecessary marital conflict, too. It’s because you’re actually making time to communicate with each other. Why is this a big deal? Because research indicates the average amount of time couples spend talking with each other per week is a whopping 17 minutes!

And, there are even more benefits. Date nights can:

  • Intensify or rekindle that romantic spark,
  • Help sustain the fires of lasting love, AND
  • Strengthen your sense of commitment to one another.

Couples who put one another first, steer clear of other romantic opportunities and cultivate a strong sense of ‘we-ness’ or togetherness are markedly happier than are less-committed couples.

According to the National Marriage Project, couples who spend time together at least once a week are:

  • About three times more likely to say they are “very happy” in their marriage than other couples.
  • More likely to report high satisfaction with their sexual relationship compared to those who spend less couple time together.

Convinced yet?

If you haven’t been on a date in a while, it just might be a really good idea for your marriage. We’ve got plenty of great ideas for planning some creative date nights that don’t have to break the bank.

 

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

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