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Learning how to lead in a new marriage is hard. Trust me. I’ve got the scratches to prove it!

“WILL!! YOU’RE PUSHING ME UNDER A TREE!!!”

It was at this moment I realized my husband and I should not have gotten in the same canoe on this family trip.

You see, my husband (the most laid-back, easy-going guy ever) and I (an admittedly fiery redhead) had only been married 3 months when my family decided to go on a canoeing adventure over the 4th of July weekend.

Since we both love the great outdoors, neither of us thought it would be a problem! That is until I was pinned under a fallen tree while my kind, loving husband was steering us in the back of this two-person boat.

As I saw three spiders crawl onto my legs and felt my arm scratch up against the branches, I quickly pushed us away from the tree while he fervently apologized to me for not paying attention to where he was steering us. But it was a little late in my book. At this point, I had brushed off the spiders, tended to the scratches on my arm, and built up a wall of disappointment and anger against him.

I thought to myself, “This would be going so much better if I was the one in the back steering us. Why can’t he see that too and offer up his seat??”

Yikes.

You might be thinking something along the same lines about your relationship, too. Whether you’ve had a moment when your spouse pushed you under a tree (literally or figuratively), or maybe you’ve been feeling unsure about your role as a spouse. When should you be the one steering? When should you follow your spouse’s lead? I’ve got a few words for you.

First of all, know that there are times for both spouses to lead! After going a little further down the river, I realized how wrong I was to think that I should be the one steering the two of us. If it were me in the back, my competitive nature would have paddled us straight to the finish line with little to no time to stop and look at the scenery, play around and splash each other with our paddles, or talk with family in the boats around us. But since he was the one leading us, I was able to enjoy myself (outside of the whole tree thing) and embrace a moment where “winning” didn’t matter.

This was his moment to lead, even if he did mess up a little.

It’s also good to see that each spouse should lead in the ways that they are strongest. Will and I have decided that when it comes to caring for things, from plants to animals, or handling the finances and budget, that’s on me. But with planning get-togethers and deciding what we’ll eat throughout the week, he’s totally got those. My husband and I both recognize each other’s strengths and our own needs, so we can lead each other to be better versions of ourselves. And that really is the key.

SO! That being said, here are just a few questions and tips for you and your spouse to look over together and decide how you both can lead in the best ways possible.

  • Ask yourself, “Where are areas that I know I’m lacking something (whether that’s a skill, a way of thinking, etc.)? Can my spouse help fulfill that need in our relationship?
  • When my spouse is leading us, do I ever feel any resentment toward them? In what ways?
  • Define each of your roles in your marriage and decide who gets to lead what/when.
  • Once you’ve set boundaries around leading in certain areas, DO NOT overstep those guidelines! Trust your spouse to do it well and to do it their way.
  • Do your best to gain a little humility. Ask your spouse to lead in ways you know you can’t (or shouldn’t).

Learning how to lead in a new marriage is hard. I promise there will be times you will accidentally pin your spouse under a tree, steer you both in the wrong direction, or maybe sink the boat altogether. But the key to a successful relationship is understanding that, as a team, it’s going to take some time to grow together, communicate strongly, and lead each other well. Thank goodness you get to figure it out together, spiders, scratches, and all.

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

Discover the 8 Essential Lessons to Build an Unbreakable Marriage Right from the Start! 

Preparing for Marriage is a self-guided online course that will guide you and your bae on a journey to build a solid foundation for your marriage! And the best part is, you can watch each video in the comfort of your own home and on your OWN TIME. All the essential tools to create a thriving marriage are jam-packed into 8 fun and fast-paced lessons guided by relationship experts.

How you’ll build an unbreakable marriage:

✅ You’ll get 8 essential lessons that you can work on when you want & where you want.

✅ Each lesson is divided into 3 parts, “Past You,” “Present You,” and “Future You.” Each part has a brief video led by marriage experts, Reggie & Lauren. You’ll have questions to talk through together and a handout to dive deeper. 

✅ After watching the videos and completing the lesson, there will be a quick pop-quiz* to make sure you’re getting the information you need! (And remembering it!)

✅ BONUS: You’ll have access to Reggie & Lauren by email every step of the way to answer any questions or just give you a little encouragement!

It was my 12th birthday, and I was (in my mind) an aspiring guitar-playing rock star. All I lacked was the right equipment. You see, all of the ultra-talented hair bands of the time had huge stacks of black-boxed amplifier speakers that blasted their gnarly guitar solos.

So, I made it perfectly clear to my parents. For my birthday, I needed a guitar amplifier so that I could be a rock star. 

On the big day, my parents presented me with a smallish wrapped box. As I unwrapped the gift, disappointment ensued. Indeed, it was a guitar amplifier – one that could almost fit inside my shoe, battery-operated, and just a little bigger than my Walkman tape player. When hooked up to my guitar, it barely made a sound louder than the actual guitar itself. And made of red plastic. I never saw a rock star on stage with anything made of red plastic. Talk about expectation frustration. 

I can now see the problem in hindsight. My expectations weren’t clear enough. I told my parents I wanted a guitar amplifier, but I wrongfully assumed they knew exactly what I meant. I mean, it’s not like they knew anything about being a guitar superstar like me. Ultimately, it was an unspoken expectation.

Imagine how this can happen in a marriage! 

One spouse expects the other to cook dinner every evening. One expects the other to spend time with the kids on the weekends. One expects sex four times a week. The other expects regular time together talking about each other’s day after work. But nothing ever said out loud. 

And then, when dinner isn’t ready, the kids are left to entertain themselves all weekend, the daily conversations don’t happen and sex is not happening nearly often enough, expectation frustration takes over the relationship.

We all have expectations for our relationships. Expectations are good in the fact that they are formed in the hope for something good to happen. When we expect something to come out of a certain situation, like our marriage, normally it’s in the hope that some sort of value is created.

But expectation frustration happens when we assume that our spouse somehow knows what we want without us telling him or her. There are times when I think my wife should know exactly what I expect because we both want a good, healthy marriage. And if she wants a good, healthy marriage just like I do, isn’t it just common sense that her expectations should line up with mine? 

See the problem here?

It’s perfectly normal – and OK – that two people have different expectations for achieving the same goal of a healthy marriage. The main thing is that these expectations don’t go unspoken. It shouldn’t be assumed that our spouse is thinking the same thing we are. And so a healthy, safe space needs created in the relationship to regularly communicate what we hope and expect from each other.

Trying to share your hopes in an unsafe space is like, well, two large guitar amplifiers blaring incoherent sounds toward each other. You get nothing but noise that can’t be heard. A safe environment, however, creates the space for a couple to experience harmony.  Each person approaches the conversation with a spirit of listening to understand rather than getting what they want. No value judgments are put upon the other person’s expectations; rather, their opinion is affirmed, even if it’s not necessarily agreed with.

The goal of a safe space for communicating expectations is that these opinions can be shared with the idea of reaching common ground. 

The magical part of this is that, when both people feel they can safely communicate expectations, they often find just how much their goals for their relationship are in line with each other. When my wife and I sit down and calmly talk about what we hope from each other, I hear her heart for our marriage rather than her expectations overriding mine. And she hears the same thing from me.

Unspoken expectations are like an acid that has a corrosive effect on the relationship – they slowly eat away at the common goal for a healthy marriage. Take the time to create that safe space and talk about your hopes and dreams for your relationship. 

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

Looking for more marriage resources? Click here!

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What If My Spouse Doesn’t Make Me Happy?

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Do you have a mindful marriage? Here’s how to find out…

Pop Quiz! How would your spouse answer the following questions right now?

  • What is their primary motivator at the moment?
  • Their biggest fear or concern?
  • What is the dream that is driving them?
  • What is their biggest source of frustration?
  • How do they feel about the health of your relationship?

If you have a hard time knowing how your spouse would answer those questions, is it possible that you are not as mindful of your spouse the way that you used to be? Is your marriage on “auto-pilot?” Has your life become so busy that you are not continuing to connect deeply with your spouse?

Having a “mindful marriage” means making the deliberate choice to be “in the moment” with your spouse, prioritizing your connection and minimizing distractions so that you can really give them your attention, stay close and keep your relationship healthy.

Having a “mindful marriage” doesn’t just happen. Our lives are so demanding and busy that it is easy for us to be “mind-full” of a million things instead of our spouse. There have definitely been times where I have felt more like the co-owner of a small business with my wife than I have felt intimately connected to her in my marriage. Conversations turn into little business meetings: Did you pay that bill? It’s our turn to bring snacks to soccer practice. We are having dinner with the Smiths Friday. Did you run to the store?” Then on to the next thing…

We keep “Family, Inc.” running as smoothly as we can, but our marital relationship stagnates, or worse: we can even begin to drift apart.

4 Ways to Have a More Mindful Marriage

1. Make Routines Work For You

My wife and I have developed a bedtime routine that is simple and helps us stay connected. Your routine might be totally different. Before anyone dozes off, we ask each other the following questions and make sure that we are truly listening to the answers:

  • What was the best part of your day?
  • What was the hardest or most frustrating part of your day?
  • Is there anything we need to talk through? (We might set a time to have the actual conversation.)
  • We say “I love you” and “Goodnight.” (Then I might go watch the end of a game since I am a Night-Owl.) This routine or tradition has been wonderful and helps us focus on each other and keep our relationship grounded.

2. Set Boundaries For Technology

Technology is often the biggest obstacle to a mindful marriage. Our phones allow us to be constantly reached or distracted by notifications. There is always a screen nearby with something interesting on it. Keep technology in its place and protect mealtime, bedtime, some time, for actual conversations with your spouse.

3. Have a Regular Date Night and Protect It

It doesn’t have to be fancy or elaborate or expensive. Just make sure there is a time when your spouse is your sole focus. Early in our marriage, we have shared a soda at the food court and just talked. We have had “in-house” dates. Prioritize this time and don’t let hectic schedules squeeze it out.

4. Be Deliberate

This is the whole point of a mindful marriage. Healthy, growing relationships don’t just happen. 

It’s hard! Don’t beat yourself up! The reality is that our minds are filled up with good stuff – things related to work, friends, hobbies. Truthfully, it often is family-related. Just don’t let family business squeeze the focus from family members. Wait until you see the reaction when your spouse realizes that you are truly focusing on them and giving them all your attention. You’ll be mindful that it is absolutely worth it!

Looking for more marriage resources? Click here!

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

Is it even possible to fight nice with your spouse?

When my kids were younger and they disagreed (or worse) I would tell them, “Boys, fight nice!”

This always got concerned looks from any other parents hanging around. “Shouldn’t you be telling them not to fight?”

“Nope,” I would stand my ground. “I want them to learn how to fight constructively, how to fight fair, to learn how to compromise and work it out themselves. To fight nice.”

Do you and your spouse fight nice?

You are both individuals with different personalities, opinions, likes and dislikes, and needs. Disagreements should be expected and viewed as natural and healthy. There may be some things that you never agree on, and that’s OK. It’s good to ask, Is this really a problem to be solved, or a tension to be managed throughout our marriage?” That question can be a helpful fight-stopper.

So how do the two of you as a couple currently navigate those inevitable disagreements? Maybe you guys get loud and animated. OK, some people are just loud and animated. That can be completely different than being intimidating, mean, spiteful and hurtful. That’s definitely NOT fighting nice. (Sometimes talking about how your parents handled disagreements when you were growing up can be illuminating to how you yourself – and your spouse – currently handle a disagreement.)

To The People Who Claim They Never Fight With Their Spouse

Was your wedding like, yesterday? (I’m still skeptical…)

You never fight? Really? Never? Maybe you are hung up on the word “fight.” Do you ever argue? Disagree passionately? Discuss heatedly? OK. Interesting.

Well, let me ask you this: Do you make decisions jointly? Do you ever discuss money or sex or parenting? Do both of you have power and a voice in the relationship?

Often, when couples say they never fight, it isn’t because they are both just super-ultra-mega nice or they have the “perfect” marriage. Usually, the dynamics of those relationships involve one person who dominates all the decision-making and one person that just bottles everything up and goes along. One spouse has the power, has the voice in the relationship, and the other spouse has neither. That’s not a healthy relationship. Learn to fight nice. It can actually strengthen your marriage.

Here’s another great question to ask yourselves: “Is it the two of us against the problem, or the two of us against each other?” This question alone can change the trajectory of each issue, and ultimately, your marriage!

Even if you do answer these questions openly and honestly with yourself and your spouse, conflict will always be there. Fights will still happen. So what do you do when they come? Here are 10 rules you and your spouse can follow so that you can fight nice:

10 Rules For Fighting Nice

  • Keep it about the problem, not the person.
  • Don’t use words like “never” or “always.” It’s never true.
  • Don’t intimidate, manipulate, or threaten your spouse.
  • It should NEVER get physical. That’s domestic violence.
  • Winning the argument isn’t worth losing your spouse.
  • Don’t bring up past, settled issues or re-open healed wounds.
  • Make sure BOTH of you have space to express yourself and feel heard.
  • Compromise. You both should feel like you gave a little and got a little.
  • Apologize and forgive. (Maybe some of the fighting wasn’t so nice.)
  • End by reaffirming your love for each other. When the fight finishes, consider it done.

Remember – disagreements, debates, arguments, heated discussions, even good ol’ fashioned fights are part of every marriage.

It might seem impossible in the heat of the moment, but they can be an opportunity to grow closer together and don’t have to drive you apart. The key is how you handle them. Sometime when both of you are calm cool and collected, have a conversation and agree to some rules for fightin’ nice.

Looking for more marriage resources? Click here!

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

Happy anniversary!” she said as she threw a gift to (at) me while I laid in bed watching television. My wife had waited until midnight on our anniversary just to make absolutely certain that I had forgotten our special day.

You’ve seen it in a movie or on television- someone has forgotten their wedding anniversary (ALWAYS the husband) and at the last minute they try to save face and come up with some gift or at least a sorry excuse to get out of it. Well, my wife had obviously seen those shows, too – and she vindictively made sure I had no chance whatsoever.

As the clock struck midnight, the day had come and gone and I was officially THAT husband.

Was she angry and hurt? Absolutely, and justifiably so! Did I feel awful? You bet. Was our relationship um… tense for a while? Oh, you better believe it. Listen, in over 25 years of marriage, we have hurt each other in far worse ways. We have left scars. We laugh about The Forgotten Anniversary now, but we have done some things to each other that are absolutely not funny. Heck, we have both done things that many people these days would say are easily divorce-worthy.

But we are still together and happy and closer than ever. Our relationship has been strengthened by working through those hard, sometimes heartbreaking difficulties. We’ve bent but have never broken.

You see, from Day 1, we agreed that the “D word,” divorce, was not an option. It just wasn’t ever on the table.

We know we are not alone in our struggles. Have you ever thought any of the following in your marriage?

  • This used to be fun. It isn’t fun anymore.
  • We’ve just grown apart, simple as that.
  • I just don’t feel it anymore.
  • The romance, the warm, fuzzy feeling is gone.
  • I wish my husband/wife was more like _______.
  • I fell in love but now I’ve fallen out of it.
  • Marriage just isn’t what I expected or hoped it would be.
  • Maybe we both would be happier starting over with other people.

I’ll be honest – at some point I have thought ALL of those thoughts. I’m pretty sure my wife has also. (I’m too afraid to ask and confirm it. Why stir the pot, right?) Yet we have hung in there for 25 years, sometimes just surviving, other times thriving. How do we do it? Have we cracked the “marriage code?” Are we special? Nope.

We survived because we both agreed that divorce was never going to be an option. It just wasn’t ever even a consideration. We wouldn’t let it happen.

So… that just leaves a lot of intentional, hard work:

  • Learning how to manage conflict and how to communicate.
  • Learning that love is an action, not a feeling.
  • Having friends that are for your marriage.
  • Learning to say things like “Sorry” and “I forgive you.”
  • Having older couples as mentors.
  • Not keeping score and not looking to “even” it.

So many marriages are built on a wishbone.

I wish he was different, I wish our marriage was more fun, I wish she would change, I wish I still felt that romance. I wish, I wish, I wish. But there is no “marital wishbone.” Wishbones won’t support you, especially during the hard times.

Instead, you need a “marital backbone.” 

Backbone means, I understand no marriage is perfect and no person is perfect, even me. Backbone means we will keep working at it, get help, hang in there and have the hard conversations. It remembers that we made promises to each other. Most of all, marital backbone means doing the loving thing – even when we absolutely don’t feel like it.

(Yes, even when he forgets your anniversary.)

Marriage can be hard work. But what if you put your backbone into it?

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

Looking for more resources for your marriage? Click here!

I don’t have any kids, so maybe I can’t be the one to suggest parenting skills. I can’t relate to you parents out there, but I can definitely relate to your teenage daughter. I’m 22 years old, and I vividly remember high school. I remember being that overly-dramatic teenager. I remember having those awkward and insecure moments as a teen. I remember what it felt like to want to be different, but sometimes conforming to peer pressure so I could fit in. High school is HARD.

I get it, raising teenage girls can be challenging, too.

They are in the midst of understanding who they are in this world. They are exploring their individuality, becoming familiar with their sexuality, starting to pay more and more attention to boys, and puberty is hitting heavy.

On top of all of their daily challenges, the internet decided to throw in social media, which can make the most secure teenager feel like they aren’t good enough. Then to top off everything with a big fat cherry, Mother Nature decides she wants to drop into their lives once a month for forever. How do you work around all of this, use effective punishment, but still try to be there for your teenager?

First, the more open you are with your teen, the more open they will be with you. Being relatable is so beneficial because it lets them know, “OK, my parent understands what it is like to be here.” Most teens fear being misunderstood by their parent, so when your teen does not completely trust you with their personal life, they will do anything to build a wall between you.

My next one is big, so pay real close attention.

You know what your daughter needs the most from you? I know some of you are not going to like this one, but just hear me out. Sometimes your daughter just needs… a friend. Social media is at the tip of their fingertips and it is so hard to feel big in such a HUGE digital world.

It’s made middle and high school even worse than it used to be. You get on Instagram and see Tiffany get 1,000 likes while you’re stuck on 103. One day you have a best friend, and then the next day you see that your “best friend” just posted a picture with your guy! Everybody looks like they are living their best life, and you’re literally struggling to keep your sanity, or at least that is what it feels like for your teen.

To be a friend, listen to your daughter and pass no judgment. Just listen.

Gossip with your daughter and let her tell you about Macy stealing Anna’s boyfriend. Get your nails done together; go play basketball with her; talk to her about boys, PLEASE. Let her be open to you about them, and what she is going through without you looking at her crazy or telling her “I told you so.” Give her guidance and still be her parent, but reassure her that everything is going to be okay, and if she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to, she always has you.

Hey, dads! You play a key piece, too.

Be there for her even when you think that’s “her Mom’s job.” She needs you just as much. You speak identity into her, you show her what a man is supposed to be like, and you have a huge impact on her self-esteem. I know you can’t relate as much to some of the girlie stuff, but man, you’re such an important factor for her.

We know as adults that high school is not even the best part of their life. We all know that the girls she gets into drama with won’t even matter after she walks across that stage, but she’s not there yet. Right now, high school is the best part of her life, and there are already enough challenges. Yes, I know, teenage girls can be a handful. But they are just trying to figure out how they navigate in this world.

So the next time you’re ready to throw in the towel with your teen, think back to your own awkward high school days. You didn’t have social media, #relationshipgoals, and Snapchat filters. But you could bring up some relatable stories to share that would bring the two of you closer together.

So what does your daughter really need from you? Let’s do a quick recap…

She needs you to:

  1. Be open and relatable
  2. Listen without judgment
  3. Understand the impact of social media
  4. Give guidance and reassurance

And ultimately? To love her.

Looking for more parenting resources? Click here!

Image from Unsplash.com

*Note: I’m an early riser. Always have been, always will be. My husband, on the other hand… not so much. Being newlywed and trying to stick to a routine, I’ve learned to let him sleep until I’ve had my coffee, had my shower, and have start working on breakfast. And for about a month, it has actually worked! That is, until one morning, I had gotten my coffee and was in the shower when I heard that knock….

“Hey, Caroline?”

Surprised that he was even awake enough to voice a question, I responded, “Yes…?”

“I really need to use the bathroom. Are you done yet?”

Me, knowing that I probably didn’t want to be in the bathroom once he came in, but also in the middle of shampooing my hair, responded to his question and said, “Not really, but hold on… I can step out in just a second.” In slight frustration, I quickly rinsed the shampoo, turned off the water, and grabbed my towel.

You see, my husband and I are trying our best to save for a house as soon as we can, which meant signing a lease on a tiny apartment for the time being. One bedroom. Barely enough space for a couch in the living room. And, as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now, one bathroom.

Moving in, neither of us thought it would be a problem! I’d just get up early, get things done, then he would be able to do the same after me. But, as with everything in life, things don’t always go according to plan.

That morning threw off the rest of my day, and it took me quite a while to understand why.

But by that evening, I realized something: I was frustrated with him, despite neither of us being to blame for the situation. I was upset, not because he had to use the bathroom, but because it wasn’t a part of our original plan. I wanted to be in control.

Yes, it seems a little exaggerated to get to that conclusion from a disrupted morning routine. But let me tell you. It opened my eyes to a whole different perspective of myself that I was not at all aware of.

So many people warned us that marriage is a great magnifying glass on all your flaws. But I didn’t realize how true it was until the honeymoon phase had left, and our true, imperfect selves showed again. Since that day, I have been very conscious of what I can and cannot control and my reactions to those things.

So, bottom line. Never assume that just because you have a plan or routine in your newlywed relationship, everything will go according to plan. A spouse is not there to point out your flaws, but to walk with you. They are there to support you and grow with you through each and every interruption.

Lastly, and most importantly: if possible… have more than one bathroom for your first year if you can.

Looking for more engagement resources? Click here!

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing…”

Sound familiar? Ever wonder what they’re really thinking about? Well, today, we’re going to find out. Usually, that “nothing,” actually means “nothing important,” and that can actually be a really fun place in their mind for you to see! It’s all about meaningless conversations!

Ask any couple, anywhere, at any time, what the key to a good marriage is, and there’s a near 100% guarantee they will mention communication in some way, shape, or form. Are they wrong? Not at all! Communication really is key to working your way through a whole lot of issues! But when communication is always focused on bettering the relationship, you’re missing out on a lot of fun, too.

Now, let me clarify this before we get too far into it. I am in NO way saying that the meaningful convos aren’t helpful. They are completely necessary to a fully-functioning, healthy relationship.

But hear me out on this: How many times have you looked at your partner and asked yourself, “We’ve been together for (fill in the blank) years now, so why don’t I feel like I know you as well as I used to?” Or maybe you have done an awesome job of having intentional, deep and meaningful conversations with your love, but something feels like it’s missing.

Well, good news for you. You might have stumbled upon the answer!! It just might be meaningLESS conversations: conversations that have nothing to do with the two of you (or anything else for that matter). They’re moments full of silliness, laughter, and fun where you and your partner truly connect. You get to learn more about your partner, you get to be goofy together, you find out things you’d never know otherwise, AND, most importantly, you both get a break from all the to-dos, the heavy topics, and the day-to-day crazies. You get a chance to fully enjoy your partner’s personality and company.

Still don’t get what I’m talking about? Here are a few questions you can ask your partner to get started. If you’re not used to asking questions like this, it might seem dumb at first. But I promise. It’s worth it.

  • If you were given $100,000 (totally tax-free and no strings attached) and had to spend it ALL this week (no investments or saving funds!) what would you buy?
  • If you could be any historical figure from the 15th century, who would you be and why?
  • What is your favorite scent? Does it have any memories attached to it? Would it make a good candle or not?
  • If you could instantly make one invention completely disappear from this world, what would it be and why?
  • If you could tell one thing to your great, great, great-grandson/daughter when they turn 16, what would it be?
  • Would you rather always have perfect hair or never run out of toilet paper?
  • What’s one thing your parents said to you that you will never forget?

Even though these types of questions have nothing to do with your relationship directly, you just might be surprised at how much a meaningless conversation here and there can do for the love you have for your honey.

Take some time today to let go of the heaviness of all the meaningful & important conversations. Instead, just sit and enjoy what your spouse has to say about the “nothings” of life!

Looking for more marriage resources? Click here!

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