A recent article published by the New York Post has couples asking, “Will my relationship fail?” Even if you haven’t read this article, you should know the study talks about 10 signs that your relationship is less likely to fail.
Using artificial intelligence, researchers Samatha Joel and Paul Eastwick looked at the habits of 11,196 couples to try and predict relationship satisfaction and success.
Perception is Everything!
The study found that relationship satisfaction and success is more about each person’s perception of the relationship and less about choosing the “perfect” person for you. In other words, Eastwick says, “‘Who I am’ doesn’t really matter once I know ‘who I am when I am with you.’”
The biggest sign that each partner was content in the relationship was how they perceived their partner’s commitment to them.
The other four most important relationship characteristics were:
- Appreciation. Does each partner show gratitude and thankfulness?
- Sexual Satisfaction. This is a sign of connection, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
- Perceived partner satisfaction. Are both people feeling heard, known, understood, and cared for?
- Conflict. How does the couple deal with and solve their disagreements?
The top five individual characteristics for relationship quality were:
- Life satisfaction. How each individual feels about the quality of their own life, including work, family, social, meaning, purpose, etc.
- Negative affect. Constantly seeing your relationship and your experiences through a negative lens.
- Depression. Experiencing strong feelings of sadness and hopelessness. These things often cause noticeable problems in relationships.
- Attachment avoidance. Consistently trying to avoid emotional connection.
- Attachment anxiety. Becoming really dependent on your partner to fulfill your emotional needs.
For couples wondering if their relationship is likely to fail, this study could be a game changer.
In the end, relationship satisfaction is about how you do relationships together and view each other.
Scott Stanley, research co-author, encourages couples not to spend a lot of time wishing their partner was different when it comes to personality or education or political views. Instead, focus on what you can do to make the dynamic between the two of you as good as it can be.
***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***
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