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Leaning Into The Stress of Parenting

Keep your head above water with these tips.

I can’t believe that it is less than 90 days from Christmas! It seems like yesterday I was actually looking forward to school starting because it brought some structure back into my carefree summer lifestyle. Today, I am headlong into sports, extracurricular activities, and community service events. It’s far from carefree- it’s stressful. But that’s okay.

I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and don’t know how to get off this merry-go-round that is my life. The real dilemma for me is, do I really want to get off the merry-go-round? Should I get off? Do I know when I need to hop off? Despite all that is swirling around, I am choosing to enjoy this season in my parenting life. I realize that it will only be for a SEASON. So, how do you lean into the stress that is unavoidable?

I am the proud mother of three sons ages 21, 16 and 13. I realize that the time for me to be a Hands-On Mom is quickly coming to a close. If you are like me, living in the midst of chaos, you want to know how to keep your head above water.

Here a few tips on handling the stress of parenting:

  1. Plan, Plan, Plan: I am not the most organized person. I try to keep the car on the road by creating a plan. Understanding that things will probably change, I still have a calendar with everything on it color-coded. (I need the color-coding!) I include my work schedule, the boys’ school calendar, sports, meetings, extracurricular activities, and even my husband’s two work schedules.
    Stress might be inevitable, but NOT having a plan dramatically increases my stress.
  2. Learn To Say, NO: I am generally a social butterfly. I am learning to say “no” to things that are not the BEST use of my time, energy and attention.  Even good things and fun things. Sometimes the answer is just, “No.” (If I say “yes,” I make sure to add it to the calendar and, yes, color-code it!)
  3. Empower My Children: I have to be honest and confess that, often, the reason I feel so overwhelmed is because I am continuing to do things for my sons that they can do for themselves (e.g., washing clothes.)  I rationalize doing things for them by telling myself that I can do it faster and get it done correctly (e.g., not placing a red shirt in the white clothes with bleach.)
    The reality is that I need to empower my children to be independent and to learn how to do certain things for themselves. And that’s less stress for me.
  4. Follow Your Child’s Lead: If we are honest, there are activities that our children participate in that they HATE. Why do we make them do those things? We tell our kids: It looks good on your resumé. It will help you get a scholarship for college. I would have loved to have this opportunity when I was your age.
    There can be a lot of truth in those statements, but what is the balance with letting our children develop their own interests? Sometimes we are stressing ourselves out as parents by rushing our kids around town to do things they don’t even enjoy. Are we really doing it for them or is it to relive our past or fulfill our own hopes and wishes?
  5. Build Relationships: Sometimes stress is relieved in community. I am a proud Band Mom. I have created friendships with other parents whose children are in the band. We tailgate together, sit at the games together, and do the funny band dances with the band. It’s nice knowing we are in this together! (I also get to spend time with my son enjoying something that he enjoys.)

I often hear from moms dealing with an empty nest, “Enjoy your time with your kids. It flies by so fast.”  They’re not wrong. In spite of this being a crazy season of life, I cherish these moments with my sons and try to handle the stress in healthy ways.

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I was irritated. More than irritated, I was ready to pounce at the next person who asked me a question, about anything. I was mentally and physically exhausted from putting in hour after hour at work, only to turn around and put in hour after hour at home, and I was over it. I was over my boss, over my hard work going unrecognized, over bearing the weight of the invisible mental load of motherhood and oh-so-over being told I was being too emotional about it all. In other words, I was suffering from BURNOUT.

ICYMI, “Burnout” is now an official medical diagnosis, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). No, we’re not talking about just being stressed out. WHO classifies burnout as a condition caused by “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”

Symptoms include:

  • Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
  • Increased mental distance from one’s job or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job
  • Reduced professional efficacy

Yup, I had it all. Check, check aaaaand check.

Thankfully I stumbled upon Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, DMA. It opened my eyes to the science and reality of burnout and how to take care of myself by managing stress.

According to the Nagoski sisters, burnout is caused by chronic stress, not stressors. But what’s the difference? Stressors are external: to-do lists, bosses, all the challenges life throws our way. Stress is the neurological and physiological response your body has when you feel like you’re in danger (from a stressor).

For instance: Your boss called you out on missing a deadline at work. The stressor is your boss calling you out. The stress is the guilt, shame or embarrassment you felt from being called out.

The stress cycle begins when a stressor triggers our “flight or fight” response. It is literally our SURVIVAL mode. Think about it:

FLIGHT: If you were being chased by a lion, you would run to a safe place. Once you are safe, your body would relax. 

FIGHT: If you were being attacked by a bear, but you were pretty sure you could fight it off and win, your body would gear up to attack. Once you had won and the danger was gone, your body would relax.

When you’ve finally reached safety and your body relaxes, the stress cycle is complete.

But what happens when the perceived threat is insurmountable? You’ll never outrun it and you’re not strong enough to fight it… so, you FREEZE. 

And this, my friends, is where burnout happens. When we are stuck in a constant, never-ending state of stress, our bodies literally shut down and play dead in order to survive.

So is it possible to prevent burnout?

In order to fix or prevent burnout, we have to complete the stress cycle. That means, dealing with not only the stressor but the actual stress itself. If we hold our feelings in, power through the hard days, but never deal with the stress of the situation, then we keep the stress cycle open and ongoing, instead of closing it and allowing our bodies to relax.

Here are 7 ways to complete the stress cycle and prevent burnout:

  1. Physical Activity – In any and every form, physical activity is your BEST strategy to complete the stress cycle. You know the drill, 30 minutes a day. It can be anything that gets your body moving: running, swimming, dancing, kickboxing, etc.
  2. Controlled Breathing – Deep, slow breaths help regulate your body’s stress response. Try slowly breathing in for a count of 5, holding that breath for 5, then exhaling for a count of 10.
  3. Socialize – Casual, friendly interactions help signal to your body that you’re safe and that not everyone is crazy and that everything will be okay. Sigh.
  4. Laugh – Laughter is quite literally the best medicine! When’s the last time you laughed so hard your abs and cheeks hurt? Laughter like that can help shift your mood and increase relationship satisfaction.
  5. Affection – Finding a deeper connection with someone you love and trust is paramount. A hug or kiss is known to release a mix of the “feel good” chemicals: serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. Yes, please!
  6. Cry – Have you noticed how you seem to feel better after a good cry, even if nothing about the situation has changed? That’s because crying is actually dealing with the stress you are feeling.
  7. Be Creative – Allowing yourself to channel stress into art is a great way to complete the cycle. Any kind of creative activity will encourage you to freely express yourself and work through some of those big emotions.

You’ll be surprised at how implementing just one of these methods every day will change the way you manage your daily stress and prevent burnout from happening!

It didn’t happen overnight, but over time I was able to deal with the overwhelming amount of stress I was under. After a lot of introspection (coupled with a cry-sesh here and there), I realized that I had stopped taking care of my well being under the weight of the responsibility of taking care of all the other people in my life. So not only did I start making time for yoga, an exercise that I truly enjoyed, I also started a book club with my close friends to give me an excuse and motivation to read more and get together with good company on a monthly basis. Honestly, it took a lot of effort to change how I managed my stress,  but changing my stress changed my entire life.

For more resources, see our Self-Care page here.

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I don’t have any kids, so maybe I can’t be the one to suggest parenting skills. I can’t relate to you parents out there, but I can definitely relate to your teenage daughter. I’m 22 years old, and I vividly remember high school. I remember being that overly-dramatic teenager. I remember having those awkward and insecure moments as a teen. I remember what it felt like to want to be different, but sometimes conforming to peer pressure so I could fit in. High school is HARD.

I get it, raising teenage girls can be challenging, too.

They are in the midst of understanding who they are in this world. They are exploring their individuality, becoming familiar with their sexuality, starting to pay more and more attention to boys, and puberty is hitting heavy.

On top of all of their daily challenges, the internet decided to throw in social media, which can make the most secure teenager feel like they aren’t good enough. Then to top off everything with a big fat cherry, Mother Nature decides she wants to drop into their lives once a month for forever. How do you work around all of this, use effective punishment, but still try to be there for your teenager?

First, the more open you are with your teen, the more open they will be with you. Being relatable is so beneficial because it lets them know, “OK, my parent understands what it is like to be here.” Most teens fear being misunderstood by their parent, so when your teen does not completely trust you with their personal life, they will do anything to build a wall between you.

My next one is big, so pay real close attention.

You know what your daughter needs the most from you? I know some of you are not going to like this one, but just hear me out. Sometimes your daughter just needs… a friend. Social media is at the tip of their fingertips and it is so hard to feel big in such a HUGE digital world.

It’s made middle and high school even worse than it used to be. You get on Instagram and see Tiffany get 1,000 likes while you’re stuck on 103. One day you have a best friend, and then the next day you see that your “best friend” just posted a picture with your guy! Everybody looks like they are living their best life, and you’re literally struggling to keep your sanity, or at least that is what it feels like for your teen.

To be a friend, listen to your daughter and pass no judgment. Just listen.

Gossip with your daughter and let her tell you about Macy stealing Anna’s boyfriend. Get your nails done together; go play basketball with her; talk to her about boys, PLEASE. Let her be open to you about them, and what she is going through without you looking at her crazy or telling her “I told you so.” Give her guidance and still be her parent, but reassure her that everything is going to be okay, and if she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to, she always has you.

Hey, dads! You play a key piece, too.

Be there for her even when you think that’s “her Mom’s job.” She needs you just as much. You speak identity into her, you show her what a man is supposed to be like, and you have a huge impact on her self-esteem. I know you can’t relate as much to some of the girlie stuff, but man, you’re such an important factor for her.

We know as adults that high school is not even the best part of their life. We all know that the girls she gets into drama with won’t even matter after she walks across that stage, but she’s not there yet. Right now, high school is the best part of her life, and there are already enough challenges. Yes, I know, teenage girls can be a handful. But they are just trying to figure out how they navigate in this world.

So the next time you’re ready to throw in the towel with your teen, think back to your own awkward high school days. You didn’t have social media, #relationshipgoals, and Snapchat filters. But you could bring up some relatable stories to share that would bring the two of you closer together.

So what does your daughter really need from you? Let’s do a quick recap…

She needs you to:

  1. Be open and relatable
  2. Listen without judgment
  3. Understand the impact of social media
  4. Give guidance and reassurance

And ultimately? To love her.

Looking for more parenting resources? Click here!

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When planning for a wedding, vows often either seem completely overlooked or a big source of stress from the start. Not only do you have to listen, remember, and repeat a bunch of words in front of hundreds of people, but you’re expected to speak them flawlessly! (Side note, if you haven’t seen the video of the guy saying “waffley wedded wife” instead of “lawfully wedded wife,” do yourself a favor and go watch it here.)

I’m not sure if that video struck fear in the minds of the newlyweds to follow or what exactly happened, but it seems like recently, the traditional vow is dying a slow death. 

Nearly every wedding I’ve been to within the last three years (including my own) did not include the familiar words. Instead, those 3-5 minutes were full of words directly from the bride and groom.

My husband and I chose to ditch the “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse…” etc., because it was not as meaningful to us as what we wanted to promise each other. So instead, we came up with our own list of vows we wanted to make and chose to speak those instead.

But here’s the issue… most of the weddings I mentioned earlier – to put it lightly – didn’t actually have any vows.

No real promises made, no list of actions they vowed to their partner. Rather, it basically felt like a mushy-gushy love letter with a few jokes thrown in there. Instead of “until death do us part,” it was, “even if I get tired of you.” (Oh yeah, that happened.)

The definition of the word vow from the good ol’ Merriam Webster is “to promise solemnly.” That doesn’t mean wedding vows are restricted to the somewhat rigid words in the traditional vows, but it also doesn’t mean that it is the time to write a love letter to your soon-to-be spouse for all to hear! Alternatively, focus on the marriage that you are promising. Instead of writing them as if you were only going to be speaking to your partner, they should be written as words you are speaking to everyone in attendance: the close family and friends who will keep you accountable in keeping those vows.

If you do choose to let the traditional vow keep fading away and instead write your own (I’m definitely not judging, I did that too!), here are steps you can take that will help you make sure you’re making solid promises, not just serenading a love letter!

  1. First of all, write down bullet points of major moments in your relationship so far that have defined your love and the way the two of you work. It’s also a good idea to come up with a few things that make your relationship unique!
  2. Then, make a few sentences around those memories. These sentences will help you see the core values that will be in your marriage, and therefore will help you define what exactly you want (and need) to promise to your spouse.
  3. From there, start making a list of promises you want to make so that your marriage stays strong from the start. Know that some of them won’t feel comfortable or easy, and that’s actually a good thing. A vow can be something that you know you struggle with, because what good is a promise if it comes naturally? Plus, knowing the areas where you can improve will help your relationship in the long run!
  4. Research examples of other vows when you feel stuck. A lot of things won’t apply to your own relationship. But it’s a good way to get ideas of areas in which you can make a promise!
  5. Finally, write from your heart. This one is kinda obvious, but it was a struggle when I was writing mine. I wanted them to sound more poetic than unique to our marriage, and for a while I was stuck. Then I started writing down promises. The promises included things I knew I needed to say to my soon-to-be husband. Only then did things start flowing naturally!

Whether you are sticking with the traditional vow or writing your own, take note of the words you are speaking. It’s not just another part of the ceremony. It’s not merely something you should do before you say “I do.” They are a vital piece of a strong marriage. They are something you will cherish, even as the years start to fly by and until death do you part.

Looking for more resources for your engagement? Click here!

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Build an Unbreakable Marriage Right from the Start! 

(And get a discount* on your marriage license at the same time!)

Preparing for Marriage is an online course that will guide you and your bae on a journey to build a solid foundation for your marriage! From communication to intimacy, conflict to in-laws, we unpack 8 fun and fast-paced lessons in short videos that will provide you with all the essential tools to create a thriving marriage.

Plus you’ll have access to healthy relationship experts, Reggie & Lauren, by email every step of the way to answer any questions or just give you a little encouragement!


*Must live in a qualifying state where a discount is offered on your marriage license for completing premarital education or counseling.

Your wedding day is one of the most stressful times of the engagement season. But there are things you can do the morning of your wedding to help you relax and enjoy the day!

Picture this: For two years you’ve been planning this awesome party for all your friends and family to enjoy.

You’ve got everything completely lined up, from the menu for the day to the height of every candle. Everyone involved has a detailed spreadsheet of where they need to be and when, and you are excited beyond belief! Not only will you get to hang out with all your favorite people, but you get to MARRY your most favorite person! Can it get much better than that?!

However, there’s this (ever so slight) hint of fear that’s always looming over. There’s a lot that could go wrong the morning of your wedding in all those details! And, on top of that, everyone constantly tells you that something will go wrong, and you’re just expected to accept that. Even more, you’re making a life-long commitment to one person that you’ve known for less than your family’s known you. It’s a big deal!

But there are a few things you can do to soothe those worries, calm your nerves, and fully enjoy the day! It requires focused attention to your emotional and mental needs, but here are 5 ways you can do just that!

To care for your emotional and mental needs the morning of your wedding:

  • Do some breathing exercises as soon as you wake up. And, if you have even just one extra minute, lie in bed and take a sec to really realize what’s happening today. Don’t run through the list of things to happen or panic about all that can go wrong. Just take in the fact that you’re marrying your best friend!
  • Have a poppin’ playlist ready to go! Your bridal party is going to want to get excited with you before you walk down the aisle! If you have too much on your plate, give the job to a friend – but just make sure you’re not taking it too seriously. Plus, singing and dancing will help with your stress levels, too!
  • Schedule time with your bridal party to have fun. Whether that means playing some card games or just sharing your favorite memories of the bride/groom, it’s a great way to distract you from the craziness around you and enjoy the time with your girls/guys!
  • Remember that it’s only one day. No matter what happens, it will all be done with in 24 hours. And, as long as you and your love are married by the end of the day, what else really matters? (The answer is nothing, in case you were wondering…)
  • Unplug from all devices. Even better, just pack your phone in your honeymoon bag! Give all the important contact info to a friend and trust that everyone will be able to figure things out. You need to focus on the only thing that matters: becoming one with your spouse – not whether or not your guests are supposed to follow the parking signs you put out, or just make their own path (which they’re going to do anyway, trust me). You don’t need the extra stress, so just avoid it all together from the beginning!

A wedding day really can be the happiest day of your life!

There is so much that goes into this one day, but it is truly worth it. And besides, once it’s over, you’ll have a spouse to adventure through life with! Hopefully, with the help of these 5 tips, you and your love can fully enjoy your special day and all that comes with it.

*(This is part two of a series. To see the first part, click here!)

Build an Unbreakable Marriage Right from the Start! 

(And get a discount* on your marriage license at the same time!)

Preparing for Marriage is an online course that will guide you and your bae on a journey to build a solid foundation for your marriage! From communication to intimacy, conflict to in-laws, we unpack 8 fun and fast-paced lessons in short videos that will provide you with all the essential tools to create a thriving marriage.

Plus you’ll have access to healthy relationship experts, Reggie & Lauren, by email every step of the way to answer any questions or just give you a little encouragement!


*Must live in a qualifying state where a discount is offered on your marriage license for completing premarital education or counseling.

Wedding planning: The thing that everyone tells you to enjoy, but you more so feel like you’re drowning without a lifeline. BUT you’ve made it! You’ve finally arrived to the morning of your wedding day! It’s here! Now… what was that thing you HAD to tell your DJ today? And why have THREE people asked you for your florist’s phone number?? And WHERE is your maid of honor?!?

The morning of a wedding can be kind of a mess! But I have some fresh tips to share with you!

Regardless of whether you yourself are about to be in this position or if you only know someone who is, there are 5 things the bride and groom can do the morning of the wedding to help fill their physical needs. (I’m NOT saying, though that these things will make everything run smoothly, I’m just saying they’ll help.) Anyway, without further ado… Here are 5 things you NEED to do the morning of the wedding! (By the way, this is the first part of a series. To see the second piece about caring for your emotional and mental needs, click here!)

Here are the first five things to care for your physical needs the morning of your wedding:

1. Drink. Water. And. Eat. Food.

This one might seem pretty obvious right now, but trust me. You’ll need to be reminded. Have your bridesmaids/groomsmen, mom, or whoever else is by your side throughout the day carry some snacks and water on them and periodically feed you! Trust me, no one wants a fainting bride or groom. (Pro Tip: Brides, bring a straw so you don’t mess up your lipstick!)

2. Only drink ONE cup of coffee, if any.

If coffee is part of your regular routine, don’t just cut it out together! Having a caffeine headache on the day of your wedding would not be pleasant. However, be sure to limit your intake. You’re going to be jittery enough as it is, and you won’t need caffeine’s help on that one!

3. Bring an emergency kit.

These can seriously be a life saver. I once had the zipper of a bridesmaid dress completely burst open 5 minutes before we walked down the aisle. The only way I made it through it was because someone was smart enough to pack a sewing kit in the emergency supplies. If you need a list, here’s a good one!

4. Practice your vows.

Whether you’re goin’ old school traditional or you chose to write your own, practicing those words (out loud!) will help prevent you from fumbling over them in just a few hours. Even though saying “waffely wedded wife” is funny, it’s still a little embarrassing…

5. Make someone in charge of getting your honeymoon items into the getaway car.

It might work that you yourself can do that, but having a friend double check is always a great idea! Have a list of what they need to check on before the send-off so that you don’t have to make an emergency trip back to your place (or worse, the venue) to grab whatever you forgot! (Bonus tip: Put someone in charge of taking your veil and bouquet, too!)

Don’t forget that this day is once-in-a-lifetime!

If you’re panicking about the suitcase you forgot or passed out on the stage from lack of food, it might not be the fondest of memories to look back on. To take a look at how you can fill your emotional and mental needs the morning of your wedding, click here!

Build an Unbreakable Marriage Right from the Start! 

(And get a discount* on your marriage license at the same time!)

Preparing for Marriage is an online course that will guide you and your bae on a journey to build a solid foundation for your marriage! From communication to intimacy, conflict to in-laws, we unpack 8 fun and fast-paced lessons in short videos that will provide you with all the essential tools to create a thriving marriage.

Plus you’ll have access to healthy relationship experts, Reggie & Lauren, by email every step of the way to answer any questions or just give you a little encouragement!


*Must live in a qualifying state where a discount is offered on your marriage license for completing premarital education or counseling.

5 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day With Your Family

You can make a big impact, even with small changes.

Celebrating Earth Day usually never crossed my mind because – I’m just going to say it – I kill plants.

Unintentionally, of course. But I’ll admit: my dad’s green thumb had not NOT passed down to me. So it’s no surprise that about 4 years ago, there was a pot full of soil sitting out on my back deck, the sad remnants of where a beautiful plant used to… ahem… barely survive. I had neglected it terribly and the empty pot was a constant reminder of how I was unable to provide the appropriate care and attention required for horticulture.

Then one fine day, I saw a tiny green bud poking out of the barren soil. The next day, I saw another bud and a stem sprouting up. By day three, there were three little green plants growing in the pot. A couple of helicopter seedlings from our large Maple tree had found their way to their new home. There was soil and some rainy days that allowed these little seeds to sprout!

I was pregnant with my first child at the time and saw this as a miraculous sign of the life also growing within me.

I was convinced that this was our “Family Tree” and when the little plant continued to thrive… my belief was confirmed. So, once our little girl was born and the baby tree was large enough to survive in the ground – we planted it, as a brand new family, on Earth Day.

Having a family tree planted in our backyard has provided the opportunity to talk with our daughter about our environment and how to take care of it. It melts my heart to see her innocent tenderness toward our family tree as they grow together! This Earth Day, why not teach your children how they can enjoy and nurture mother nature?

Here are 5 fun ways to celebrate Earth Day with your family!

1. Plant (and/or tend to) a garden:

Get your garden gloves on and your watering can out! Planting a garden can be a neat experience for any age. Younger kids can help water the garden or create colorful plant markers using craft supplies. Older kids can help plant seeds and pull weeds. When the fruits and veggies are ripe, everyone can pick them together! Working together to establish a garden can open up a bigger conversation about responsibility (for specific gardening tasks and for the environment as a whole).

2. Take a hike (or just a walk):

It seems like a no-brainer, but being out in nature is a sure-fire way to appreciate the beauty of our planet! Whether it’s a walk around your neighborhood, a local park or a more scenic mountain trek, your family can enjoy the scenery, as well as each other’s company!

3. Make the switch to reusable water bottles:

If you haven’t already ditched the plastic, now’s the time to grab a glass or BPA-free plastic water bottle to refill and reuse daily! A simple change like this can have a huge impact, not only on the environment but also your wallet: On average, Americans spend about $5 a week on bottled water which means you could save $260 per person, per year, by switching to a reusable water bottle. (For a family of four, that’s $1,040 in savings!)

4. Eat plant-based meals for the day:

Eating your fruits and veggies is not just good for your health; it’s good for Earth’s health, too. Even if it’s only for one day of the week (hello #meatlessmonday), skipping the meat and animal byproducts can significantly reduce carbon dioxide emissions and conserve water. It takes 2,400 gallons of water to product a single pound of meat! This frees up our land and resources. 30% of Earth’s land mass is used to raise animals to eat. Despite the fear of the unknown, cooking a meal without meat or dairy is extremely easy! There are so many recipes out there that even the pickiest of eaters will still enjoy, we promise!

5. Make some resolutions:

Just like New Year’s Eve, this holiday is the perfect time to set some goals for the rest of the year. Write a list of practical ways your family can conserve, recycle and reuse every day! Post your list somewhere prominent (like your refrigerator) as a reminder to keep the momentum going! Every change, whether big or small, will make an impact.

Spending some extra special time with your family, no matter what you’re celebrating, doesn’t have to be difficult, expensive or extravagant. The memories you make are priceless and will last a lifetime! Happy Earth Day!

Looking for more family resources? Click here!

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing…”

Sound familiar? Ever wonder what they’re really thinking about? Well, today, we’re going to find out. Usually, that “nothing,” actually means “nothing important,” and that can actually be a really fun place in their mind for you to see! It’s all about meaningless conversations!

Ask any couple, anywhere, at any time, what the key to a good marriage is, and there’s a near 100% guarantee they will mention communication in some way, shape, or form. Are they wrong? Not at all! Communication really is key to working your way through a whole lot of issues! But when communication is always focused on bettering the relationship, you’re missing out on a lot of fun, too.

Now, let me clarify this before we get too far into it. I am in NO way saying that the meaningful convos aren’t helpful. They are completely necessary to a fully-functioning, healthy relationship.

But hear me out on this: How many times have you looked at your partner and asked yourself, “We’ve been together for (fill in the blank) years now, so why don’t I feel like I know you as well as I used to?” Or maybe you have done an awesome job of having intentional, deep and meaningful conversations with your love, but something feels like it’s missing.

Well, good news for you. You might have stumbled upon the answer!! It just might be meaningLESS conversations: conversations that have nothing to do with the two of you (or anything else for that matter). They’re moments full of silliness, laughter, and fun where you and your partner truly connect. You get to learn more about your partner, you get to be goofy together, you find out things you’d never know otherwise, AND, most importantly, you both get a break from all the to-dos, the heavy topics, and the day-to-day crazies. You get a chance to fully enjoy your partner’s personality and company.

Still don’t get what I’m talking about? Here are a few questions you can ask your partner to get started. If you’re not used to asking questions like this, it might seem dumb at first. But I promise. It’s worth it.

  • If you were given $100,000 (totally tax-free and no strings attached) and had to spend it ALL this week (no investments or saving funds!) what would you buy?
  • If you could be any historical figure from the 15th century, who would you be and why?
  • What is your favorite scent? Does it have any memories attached to it? Would it make a good candle or not?
  • If you could instantly make one invention completely disappear from this world, what would it be and why?
  • If you could tell one thing to your great, great, great-grandson/daughter when they turn 16, what would it be?
  • Would you rather always have perfect hair or never run out of toilet paper?
  • What’s one thing your parents said to you that you will never forget?

Even though these types of questions have nothing to do with your relationship directly, you just might be surprised at how much a meaningless conversation here and there can do for the love you have for your honey.

Take some time today to let go of the heaviness of all the meaningful & important conversations. Instead, just sit and enjoy what your spouse has to say about the “nothings” of life!

Looking for more marriage resources? Click here!

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