Tag Archive for: father-daughter

A Father’s Love

Jeff Harrell worked long hours in the restaurant business when his daughter was born. Alyssa was 3 months old when Harrell realized that she clearly had no interest in being with him.

“That’s when I knew things had to change,” shares Harrell. “I did not want my child to grow up not knowing me. My wife and I decided that I would quit my job, although I didn’t have another job offer.”

While Harrell was stressed about leaving his job, he also felt a sense of relief because he believed better times were ahead. Fast forward more than 20 years, and daughters Alyssa and Emily will be the first to tell you that their relationship with their father is special.

“I think one of the big things people love about coming to our house is hanging out with my dad,” Alyssa say. “More times than I can count, guys would come over, but they weren’t really here to see me or my sister. They were looking for my dad. He is a smart person and they can talk with him. He doesn’t tell them that their mistakes are ok and he encourages them to do better. Although he isn’t their bud, they open up to him and he doesn’t judge them.”

Alyssa and Emily have a special bond with their dad, but that doesn’t mean they always agree with his rules.

“My curfew was earlier than all our friends,” Emily says. “After dances, I had to come home instead of staying out with my friends. At the time that really irritated me because it seemed like I was the only one that had all these rules. Now I’m grateful.”

Their dad instilled in them the value of living a meaningful and impactful life. He also taught them the importance of staying away from compromising situations.

“Both of our parents gave us boundaries,” Alyssa says. “I know that was a good thing. We have friends who are jealous of our relationship with our dad.”

Harrell has no regrets about making career moves to be home with his girls.

While some dads work hard and think they have earned the right to play golf on Saturday, Harrell believes he has earned the right to raise his children and that should be his main focus.

“I have one shot to get this right,” Harrell says. “You don’t get to check certain boxes about what you will and won’t do as a dad. All the boxes are already checked. I signed up for the good, the bad and the ugly.”

Here are a few things Harrell has learned about a father’s love that he wants fellow dads to remember:

  • Keep in mind your kids can either get wisdom and knowledge from you or they can get it from someone else.

  • They can either spend time with you or someone else.

  • Children can learn from suffering the consequences or seek wisdom instead.

  • Dolls, tea parties, race cars, concerts and Muppet theater are all great ways to spend your time.

  • If the relationship isn’t there before your kids leave home, it won’t be there after they leave.

“You may think your kids don’t really need you, but that’s not true,” Harrell says. “Being 100 percent involved may cost you monetarily now, but in the end it pays off in dividends you can’t buy.”

/0 Comments/by

Dads, Daughters and Valentine’s Day

Expressing love to your girl on this holiday matters.

Dad, don’t forget an important woman in your life on Valentine’s Day – your daughter.

It’s never too early for a father to establish a Valentine’s tradition to express love to his daughter. A father’s love profoundly impacts a girl, and many believe that a woman takes her relationship with her father (good or bad) to the grave.

The father/daughter relationship plays an integral role in a young girl’s life.

It can even give her the self-confidence to deal with challenging life issues. When fathers are not engaged, however, the opposite happens. Research shows the girls often struggle with abandonment issues, lack of self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. They’re also especially vulnerable to predators.

Many women who grow up without a father will float through life, looking for someone to fill that void. Girls who grow up with absent fathers are at greater risk for experiencing problems in school, abusing drugs and alcohol and participating in risky sexual behavior. In fact, adolescent girls without fathers are twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity – and they’re seven times more likely to get pregnant as a teen.

However, having an active father reduces the risk of early puberty, risky sexual behavior and teen pregnancy. 

Additionally, strong father/daughter relationships impact a daughter’s ability to trust and relate to men in a healthy way. Daughters who have a healthy bond with their father tend to be more self-reliant and confident and less likely to develop eating disorders. They also tend to perform better in school.

The father/daughter bond is even more important when the father and daughter live in different households.

One woman recalls how special Valentine’s Day was for her as a child. She knew her father would give her a chocolate heart every year. When her father divorced her mother and left, the Valentine’s tradition ended and left her with only memories. Decades later, she still wonders why he quit giving her the Valentine heart.

Keep in mind that little things can mean a lot to daughters. Even traditions such as weekly conversations, writing notes to each other or a daddy/daughter date can strengthen that special bond.

It is important for girls without an active father to have a good, positive and strong male role model in their lives. 

Think about doing something special for these young girls. Perhaps you could include them in your own family or community activities.

No matter what kind of father you are – traditional, long-distance, stepdad, grandfather, uncle or other father figure – your involvement impacts these young women. Reach out each Valentine’s Day and strengthen the bond you have with your girl.

/0 Comments/by