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top 10 strengths of happy marriages

David H. Olson, founder of Life Innovations and one of the creators of the Prepare/Enrich marriage enrichment tools, has surveyed 21,501 married couples in all 50 states to identify the top ten strengths of happy marriages.

Research shows the strongest couples are those who have strong communication skills, a clear sense of closeness as a couple, flexibility, personal compatibility, and good conflict management skills.

In strong marriages, there is a balance between separateness and togetherness. These couples make togetherness a top priority, ask each other for help, like doing things together, and spend most of their free time together.

1. Partners are satisfied with communication.

2. Partners handle their differences creatively.

3. They feel very close to each other.

4. Spouses are not controlling.

5. Partners discuss their problems well.

6. They are satisfied with the affection they show and receive in the marriage.

7. There is a good balance of time alone and together.

8. Family and friends rarely interfere.

9. Partners agree on how to spend money.

10. Partners agree on spiritual beliefs.

8 must-have conversations for couples

How do you know if love will last? Some say you don’t, that it’s just luck of the draw if your love lasts over time. Many believe that the more a couple has in common, the more likely they are to be compatible over time. Others say, not so fast.

With more than 40 years of love and relationship research under their belt, The Gottman Institute says that whether love will last is more about how couples address their differences and support one another’s needs and dreams. And it all starts with these 8 conversations for couples.

The topics for discussion include:

• Trust and Commitment.

  Trust is cherishing each other and showing your partner you are reliable. Choosing commitment means accepting your partner exactly as he or she is, despite their flaws.

• Conflict.

  Conflict is a part of every healthy relationship. There is purpose behind it and it is an opportunity to take your relationship to a deeper level.

• Sex and Intimacy.

  Romantic, intimate rituals of connection keep a relationship happy and passionate. Couples who talk about sex have more sex.

• Work and Money.

  Money issues usually aren’t about money at all. Instead, they are about what money means to each person. Learning what money means to each person can help take your relationship to a totally different place.