Do We Really Inherit More than Physical Traits from Our Family?

I look like my Mom. If you saw us together, there’d be no denying we’re related. On the other hand, I act a LOT like my Dad. My feet (and mouth) often move faster than my brain, and I tend to talk a little too much in social settings. My guess is, if you know your family, you also know who you look like and who you favor in personality as well. The big question is, what do we inherit from our family members?

As the CEO of a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening families, I’ve seen firsthand how the threads of a person’s familial traits and decisions weave into the fabric of their present and future. This phenomenon, known as the multigenerational transmission process, highlights how behaviors, patterns, and emotional responses are passed down from one generation to the next. Understanding this process is crucial for fostering healthy relationships and creating positive change in our families.

The multigenerational transmission process is a concept adopted from the family systems theory. This theory was created by American psychiatrist and academic Murray Bowen in the 1950s. In short, the theory suggests we inherit more than just physical traits from our ancestors and family members. Our emotional responses, coping mechanisms, and relationship patterns are also influenced by previous generations. This process occurs through direct interactions with family members and through the subtle, often unspoken, transmission of beliefs and behaviors.

For example, if a parent struggles with expressing emotions, their children might learn to suppress their feelings. This can lead to similar patterns of emotional suppression in future generations, creating a cycle that is difficult to break.

Understanding the multigenerational transmission process can help us identify patterns that may be affecting our current relationships. By recognizing these patterns, we can take steps to address them and create healthier dynamics within our families.

Here are a few ways this process may be impacting you and your relationships:

• Emotional Patterns: If previous generations experienced trauma or emotional neglect, these experiences can shape how current family members handle emotions. Recognizing these patterns and choosing to make a change allows us to develop healthier emotional responses and improve our communication skills.
• Behavioral Patterns: Behaviors such as addiction, violence, or financial mismanagement can be passed down through generations. Understanding the root causes of these behaviors can help us identify what we need to work on in ourselves in order to break the cycle and create positive change.

• Belief Systems: Our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world are often inherited from our families. By examining these beliefs, we can challenge those that create fear and anxiety and limit us from our fullest potential.

While the multigenerational transmission process can perpetuate negative patterns, it also offers an opportunity for positive change.

Here are some steps we can take to break the cycle and create healthier family dynamics:

1. Practice self-awareness. The first step in breaking the cycle is becoming aware of the patterns that exist within our families. Reflect on your family history and consider how it has shaped your behaviors and beliefs.
2. Use open communication within your family. Create a safe space for family members to express their feelings and share their experiences.
3. Seek support to hold you accountable and provide guidance. Professional counseling or therapy can provide valuable insights and strategies for addressing multigenerational patterns. Support groups, churches and faith communities, and educational programs can also offer encouragement.
4. Model healthy behaviors for the next generation. As parents and caregivers, we have the power to model healthy behaviors for our children. Demonstrate positive coping mechanisms, effective communication, and emotional regulation.

By understanding and addressing the multigenerational transmission process, we can break free from negative patterns passed down from previous generations and create a legacy of stability, resilience, and connection for those to come after us. It’s a powerful reminder that our actions today have the potential to shape the well-being of our children, grandchildren, and beyond.

Let’s embrace the power of connection and the gift of healing, knowing that the love and strength cultivated today will resonate for generations to come.