Ah, the New Year—a season of glittering confetti, fresh planners, and lofty ambitions. For many, it’s a time to hit the reset button, vowing to become better versions of ourselves. As the clock strikes midnight, millions resolve to get healthier, save more, or finally read that stack of books collecting dust on the nightstand.
But let me share a not-so-secret secret: most New Year’s resolutions fizzle out faster than my one-year-old loses interest in peas.
Research from the University of Scranton suggests that only 9% of people actually stick to their resolutions long-term. Why? Because resolutions are often grand declarations made in the holiday afterglow, unaccompanied by a solid plan or sustainable habits.
A resolution is a decision to change. It’s aspirational and often focused on the outcome: “I want to lose 20 pounds” or “I’ll finally get organized.”
A habit, on the other hand, is a routine behavior repeated consistently over time. Habits focus on the process rather than the outcome, which is why they’re more effective. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, explains it this way: “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” In other words, success comes from small, consistent actions rather than sweeping declarations.
Instead of resolving to “get in shape,” for example, focus on one healthy habit: walking for 20 minutes each day. Instead of declaring, “I’ll stop procrastinating,” commit to working on a daunting task for just five minutes. Research shows that small, manageable changes are more likely to stick.
My own foray into habit-building recently included trying to drink more water—a challenge that, oddly enough, felt harder than managing my son’s kindergarten paperwork. Instead of telling myself to “drink more water” (a resolution), I started keeping a water bottle on my desk and sipping whenever I checked emails. That small shift? Game-changer.
When you’re ready to build new habits, start small. BJ Fogg, founder of Stanford’s Behavior Design Lab, emphasizes starting with “tiny habits.” Want to exercise regularly? Begin with one movement a day you weren’t doing before; stretching before bed, parking farther away from work so you can walk more, doing 5 jumping jacks shortly after you wake up. Over time, those tiny actions snowball into meaningful change.
It’s also more effective to pair a new habit with an existing one.
Known as “habit stacking,” this technique helps anchor new behaviors to established routines. For instance, if you want to journal more, try jotting down three things you’re grateful for right after brushing your teeth.
Plus, if you really want to establish a lifelong habit, it’s important to focus on creating a system rather than reaching a goal. If you want to read more, don’t aim to finish 50 books this year. Instead, create a habit of reading one page before bed each night. The system—regular reading—will lead to your goal naturally.
As always, remember to embrace the imperfections of life. Stuff happens. Kids get sick, work piles up, and the dog eats your to-do list. Missing a day doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Research by psychologist Wendy Wood shows that habits are built through repetition, not perfection.
While many habits revolve around personal achievement, don’t forget habits that nourish your relationships.
This year, I’m working on a habit of connection: setting aside 15 minutes of uninterrupted playtime with my kids each evening. (No phones, no multitasking—just pure focus.) My husband and I are also trying a weekly “check-in” where we chat about our goals, schedules, and, occasionally, who’s responsible for the socks perpetually under the couch.
As we step into 2025, I hope you’ll trade the pressure of lofty resolutions for the peace of steady habits. Remember, growth is less about overnight transformation and more about daily commitment.
So, what’s one small habit you can start today? Maybe it’s drinking a glass of water before your morning coffee or calling a loved one every Sunday. Whatever it is, let it be a gift to yourself—a gentle, enduring step toward the person you want to become.
Happy New Year, friends. Let’s make it a good one, one habit at a time.
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