July 30, 2021
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how to find good relationship advice
The internet gives us ENDLESS information on relationships. Just Google how to resolve conflict in marriage or how to parent a rebellious teenager. Then watch TONS of articles, blogs, videos, how-tos, and step-by-steps fill your screen. It’s overwhelming.
And here’s the thing: can they all possibly be right? I mean, with literally thousands of resources out there on any given relationship subject, there’s got to be some conflicting information and something that’s not accurate. (As a matter of fact, there is.)
★ So when you and I are trying to get help in the area of healthy relationships, how do we know what kind of information to trust? How do you wade through the countless sources of information on your screen and determine which advice is legit?
Here’s Some Helpful Pointers to Identify Reliable Relationship Advice:
- Understand that relationships are something that’s actually researched.
- On the flip side of the coin… know that just because the word “research” shows up doesn’t always mean it’s great advice.
- All this goes to say, of course, to consider the source.
- Prepare to do a little digging.
- Be cautious with sources that seem to run against the grain of what we already know to be healthy in relationships.
- Understand how easy it is to find information that supports your current view and quickly rest your case.
3 skills for managing conflict in marriage
So, how can you keep seemingly minor issues from becoming major areas of conflict in your marriage? Parents teach their kids to stop, look and listen before crossing the street. But believe it or not, this is a really useful skill for managing conflict.
Before launching into a lecture or hissy fit, consider these things. Ask yourself if what you are about to say or do will be helpful to your relationship. What is your current state of mind – are you stressed, tired or hungry? These things can impact how intensely you feel about something at any given moment.
First, look at your spouse and remember you are on the same team, not rivals. Then, examine the situation at hand and ask yourself if this is truly a big deal or really a matter of different preferences. Whether it is folding towels, loading the dishwasher or the current condition of your car’s interior, some things boil down to personal preference. Is pursuing a conversation about these things worth the cost? And, in looking at the big picture of living life together, will you choose to place your focus on these areas?
Instead of assuming your spouse couldn’t possibly have a reasonable explanation for why they do something a certain way, seek to understand their perspective before telling them why your way makes the most sense. It could help you avoid a lot of unnecessary drama. Even when you truly believe you are right, is it really necessary to prove it?
Most couples say their relationship is what matters most to them. What tends to trip them up is mistakenly making the minor things the major ones.
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what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Gena Ellis, wife to her college sweetheart, mother of 3 boys, and a Healthy Relationship Facilitator here at First Things First! Take a peek at her recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:
✨ The 5 Stages of Marriage walks you through the ups and downs of married life. When you are prepared for the natural stages that occur in your marriage, it prevents you from thinking this is something that only “YOU” are experiencing.
💍 10 Things You Need to Know Before You Say “I Do” is a wonderful resource to help you have the needed conversations and discussions early in your relationship to lay the foundation for a long-lasting marriage.
🤍 5 Ways to Plan for Your Marriage, Not Just Your Wedding is a great article that gives couples tips on how to prioritize your marriage in the midst of planning the wedding.
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