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The Surprising Subject That’s Missing from Our Kids’ Lives

The other night, my six-year-old son asked, “Can something be true for one person but not for another?” And just like that, between spaghetti and bedtime, we stumbled into philosophy.

I know—it sounds like something best left to college kids with thick glasses and lots of coffee. But recent research says otherwise. In fact, teaching philosophy to kids might be one of the best ways to help them think more clearly, speak more confidently, and understand the world around them. Even better? It doesn’t require fancy lessons or textbooks. Just a little curiosity and a lot of listening.

Philosophy is all about asking big questions and thinking deeply about them. Questions like: What’s right and wrong?, What makes something real?, Why do we do what we do?

It’s not about having the right answers. It’s about learning to ask smart questions, listen to others, and explain your thinking.

And yes, even young kids can do this. They already do—every time they ask “Why?” five times in a row.

According to a recent article from OK Diario, philosophy is one of the best subjects for sharpening kids’ minds. In places where it’s taught, students do better in reading, writing, and math. But here in the U.S., it’s hardly ever part of the school day.

Why? A few reasons. Schools focus so much on testing that there’s little time for open-ended thinking. And some adults assume kids aren’t ready for deep ideas—but the research suggests that’s just not true. Research shows children who study philosophy become better thinkers, kinder classmates, and more confident speakers.

So if it’s so helpful, how can we bring it back?

You don’t need a degree in ancient thinkers to get started. Philosophy can happen anywhere—on the way to school, at dinner, or during storytime. The key is to welcome questions and let your child do the thinking.

When your child asks a big question—like “What happens when we die?” or “Why do some people lie?”—try this:

  • Ask what they think. Instead of giving an answer, say, “That’s a great question. What do you think?”
  • Listen. Let them talk without jumping in right away. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps kids understand their own thoughts.
  • Wonder with them. You can say, “Hmm, I’m not sure either. Let’s think about it together.”

Even toddlers can join in. My daughter, who’s almost two, recently said, “Moon sad.” I didn’t correct her—I asked, “Why do you think the moon is sad?” Her answer? “It’s alone.” Philosophical gold. 

In a world full of quick opinions and loud arguments, kids who can think deeply and speak kindly have a big advantage. Philosophy helps them pause, reflect, and connect with others. It doesn’t just build brains—it builds better people.

So next time your child asks a big question—or even a weird one—lean in. You might just find yourself in the middle of a thoughtful, funny, meaningful conversation. And that’s something no app or worksheet can teach.

Lauren Hall is the President and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at [email protected].

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The Poverty We Don’t Talk About Enough

I’ve worked in the non-profit space long enough to know poverty wears more faces than just financial strain. And while my current reality is keeping my toddler from climbing everything in sight and trying to stop my six-year-old from sneakily waking up in the middle of the night to play legos for hours, I can’t help but reflect on another kind of scary reality—one we don’t often see but we feel: social poverty.

Social poverty isn’t about empty wallets. It’s about empty calendars, empty tables, and empty inboxes.

It’s the absence of dependable relationships and meaningful community—what some researchers from Northwestern University call a “lack of perceived or actual support from social networks.” It cuts across economic lines, affecting everyone from CEOs in high-rise condos to single parents in subsidized housing. But it hits harder and sticks longer in low-income communities, often compounding the already heavy weight of generational poverty.

Simply put, social poverty is a lack of social capital. That’s a wonky term, but think of it as your “people portfolio”—the relationships that give you help, guidance, accountability, encouragement, even opportunity. When that portfolio is empty, you’re socially poor. And the consequences? They’re not just sad; they’re significant.

Social poverty can impact everything from mental health to job prospects, parenting to physical well-being.

According to a 2023 study in Social Science & Medicine, those with weak social networks and disconnected family structures are at increased risk of depression, substance abuse, and chronic illness—regardless of income.

Yet for families living in low-income neighborhoods, where institutions are often strained and trust is fragile, this scarcity of connection becomes generational. Kids raised without a strong web of relationships and supportive families are more likely to grow up without the very safety nets that help them thrive.

Now let’s talk family. Because the breakdown of the family unit plays a huge role here.

Strong families are the original social safety net.

They’re the first responders in crisis, the late-night babysitters, the ride to the doctor, the wisdom at the dinner table– the built-in support system. But as marriage rates fall and single-parent households rise—particularly in economically vulnerable communities—many families find themselves going it alone.

Melissa Kearney, a University of Maryland economist and author of The Two-Parent Privilege, makes this point clearly: “We have a growing class divide in family structure, and that divide exacerbates inequality.” Two-parent families, she notes, are more likely to provide the kind of consistent emotional and logistical support that buffers kids against adversity. Without that, children are more vulnerable to instability, and parents are more likely to feel isolated.

And when isolation becomes the norm, social poverty isn’t far behind.

Let’s be clear: solving financial poverty matters. But if we address only the bank account and ignore the relational account, we’re missing half the story.

While I mentioned before that relational poverty exists across the socioeconomic divide, Dr. Robert Putnam, author of Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis, highlights how affluent families not only have more money, but also have more access to “mentors, tutors, more stable family structures, social networks, and community stability.” This web of relationships supports upward mobility. Meanwhile, lower-income families often lack access to the very connections that could help them climb out of poverty.

As a mom of two, I think about this all the time. Not just What do my kids need? but Who do my kids need? Who’s going to show up when life gets hard? Who’s in our corner?

If we want to support families and children in poverty effectively, we need to build community and relationships as fiercely as we build resumes.

That means:

  • Rebuilding the family: Supporting healthy marriages and involved parenting is not just good policy—it’s good economics and social strategy. Programs that teach relationship skills, co-parenting strategies, and conflict resolution actually increase family stability, according to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology.
  • Investing in community: Whether through churches, schools, neighborhood groups, or nonprofits, communities thrive when people know and are known. Communities thrive when residents are empowered to make a difference from within.
  • Reducing stigma: Admitting loneliness or a lack of support should be met with compassion, not shame. Let’s normalize reaching out, showing up, and making room at our metaphorical tables.

Financial poverty may be easier to measure, but social poverty is just as real—and arguably more insidious. As a society, we can’t afford to keep treating relationships like luxuries when they’re basic necessities.

So when it comes to considering how to support families in poverty, let’s do more than ask, “How much do they make?” or “What type of education do they have?” but “Who do they have?” Because sometimes, the kindest thing we can offer isn’t a handout—it’s a hand to hold.

Lauren Hall is the President and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at [email protected].

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What is Generational Trauma, Exactly?

If you’ve ever said, “When I have kids, I’ll never say that,” only to hear your mother’s voice come flying out of your mouth, you are not alone.

Parenting has a funny way of stirring up ghosts from our childhoods, especially the ones we thought we’d buried under self-help books.

But there’s a deeper undercurrent to these moments. Many of us are waking up to something our parents and grandparents rarely talked about: generational trauma—the emotional inheritance no one asked for but many of us carry.

And now, a growing body of research and brave voices are helping us understand how to break those cycles and build something better for the next generation.

At its core, generational trauma refers to the emotional wounds passed down from one generation to the next—often unintentionally.

It can stem from big events like war, racism, poverty, abuse, or neglect, or from smaller, chronic patterns like emotional unavailability, perfectionism, or unresolved grief.

Dr. Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart, a social worker and researcher who pioneered the concept, first studied the intergenerational trauma experienced by Native American communities. Since then, the concept has expanded, backed by studies in epigenetics showing that trauma doesn’t just change our behavior—it can actually alter gene expression passed on to our children.

That’s right. Your great-grandmother’s heartbreak might still echo in your nervous system. (No pressure.)

Trauma doesn’t always look like chaos.

Sometimes it shows up as a parent who shuts down during conflict. A tendency to over-apologize. An inability to rest without guilt. Even hyper-independence can be a trauma response dressed in hustle culture’s clothing.

Dr. Thema Bryant, psychologist and past president of the American Psychological Association, explains it this way:

“We often internalize what we experienced growing up—especially if we never saw another way. But healing is possible. And we don’t heal in isolation; we heal in relationship.”

Here’s the good news: trauma may be passed down, but so is healing and reconciliation.

A 2023 study published in Development and Psychopathology found that when parents actively process their own trauma—through therapy, journaling, support groups, or even reflective conversations—they’re more likely to parent with sensitivity, patience, and emotional attunement.

The key isn’t perfection. It’s awareness.

Dr. Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of Parenting from the Inside Out, emphasizes the importance of what he calls the “coherent narrative.” When parents understand and make sense of their own stories, even painful ones, they’re better equipped to nurture secure attachment in their children.

In other words, you don’t have to have had a perfect childhood to give your kids a healthy one.

Let’s be honest: healing generational trauma while simultaneously keeping small humans alive, fed, and in semi-matching socks is a tall order.

You will have days when you lose your cool.

You will say things you swore you’d never say. And still—you can be the one who breaks the cycle.

Because every time you apologize to your child instead of shutting down…
Every time you choose connection over control…
Every time you sit with your feelings instead of stuffing them down with peanut butter pretzels…

You are doing the work. And that matters more than any curated parenting philosophy.

A Few Tools for the Journey

Therapy.

Especially trauma-informed care like EMDR or somatic therapy.

Books.

Try It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn or The Deepest Well by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris.

Reflection.

Journaling, support groups, or simply asking yourself: Is this reaction about now—or about then?

You are not responsible for what happened to you, but you are responsible for what you do with it. And your kids don’t need you to be perfect—they just need you to keep showing up.

Lauren Hall is the President and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at [email protected].

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Why Gen Z is Saying “No” to Romance and What it Means for Us All

My son had his sixth birthday recently. He came home from school with a dozen notes and cards in his backpack, all of which were covered in hearts, glitter and the endearing best wishes of his closest female classmates.  

While I would say this slightly concerned me, I also know that this behavior is pretty normal in kindergarten. Children at this age often imitate what they see at home or in the media. They also develop a sense of feelings towards others, although child development professionals clarify these feelings are much more about companionship and friendship than romance.

In the middle of processing this, I stumbled across several recent surveys that shocked me. According to Pew Research Center, approximately 56% of Gen Z individuals (ages 18-29) reported being single, significantly more than previous generations at their age. An American Perspectives Survey found similar results:

Gen Z is the least likely of all current generations to seek or form romantic partnerships. 

After reading this, I couldn’t help but wonder if Gen Z students shared sweet little “love notes” in kindergarten. Did something change? What keeps them from seeking companionship and connection?

Experts suggest several possibilities. Dr. Jean Twenge, psychologist and author of “iGen,” points to the increased reliance on smartphones and social media, making face-to-face interactions daunting or even unnecessary for many. Digital interaction offers a safer, controlled environment, shielding young adults from the vulnerability inherent in traditional romance.

Economics plays a significant role, too.

Dr. Helen Fisher, anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor at Match.com, highlights financial instability as a deterrent. Faced with student debt and uncertain job markets, Gen Z individuals prioritize financial and personal stability before venturing into relationships. Fisher calls this the “slow love” trend, where careful planning precedes commitment.

There’s also a shifting cultural landscape. Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a psychologist at Northwestern University, notes that Gen Z has grown up with heightened awareness around emotional health, consent, and individual identity. Young adults today are more inclined to invest energy in personal growth, mental health, and friendships before adding romance to the equation.

But what does this mean for the future?

While some view this as merely delayed milestones, others worry about long-term effects. Fewer relationships could result in lower marriage and birth rates, already concerns in countries facing population decline. Moreover, researchers like Eli Finkel from Northwestern University caution that prolonged loneliness and isolation might exacerbate mental health challenges already prevalent among Gen Z.

Yet, there’s hope. Experts stress adaptability and encourage intergenerational conversations.

Solomon suggests families and communities proactively teach relationship skills, emotional intelligence, and resilience. Offering safe spaces for honest dialogue about romance and relationships might empower young adults to navigate intimacy confidently and healthily.

As a parent and advocate for healthy relationships, I’m hopeful. Yes, romance might look different in the digital age, but our fundamental human need for connection and love remains unchanged. Perhaps Gen Z’s cautious, thoughtful approach will yield stronger, more intentional relationships—relationships built on solid emotional foundations. 

So, rather than despair, let’s commit to supporting the next generation in defining what healthy, committed romantic relationships look like and understanding why they matter. Maybe the future of “romance” can transition away from the fatigue of swiping left or right and move towards pausing, reflecting, and ultimately, choosing wisely.

Lauren Hall is the President and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at [email protected].

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Marriage: How to Move Past the Mundane to Magical

It happens to the best of us—marriage becomes mundane over time. Even those of us who are trained and educated in relationships (yes, my hand is raised) can find ourselves treating our spouse like a business partner rather than a romantic, lifelong companion.

Love songs never warn you about Tuesday nights at 8 p.m. when the kids are finally in bed, the laundry still isn’t folded, and both of you are too tired to do anything but scroll mindlessly on your phones. For most couples, this season arrives with a quiet thud.

The initial fireworks of love settle into the steady glow of responsibility, and somewhere between carpool schedules and mortgage payments, many couples find themselves wondering: Have we lost that loving feeling? Is romance still part of our relationship?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Relationship researchers have long documented the natural ebb and flow of romantic love. A study by Dr. Eli Finkel, a psychologist at Northwestern University, describes how passion often declines over time as couples move from an intense, dopamine-fueled love (infatuation) to a more stable, oxytocin-based attachment (companionate love). While this transition is normal, it can leave couples feeling like they’re merely co-managers of a household rather than romantic partners.

Marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman, co-founder of The Gottman Institute, has spent decades studying why relationships thrive or fail. He points out that long-term relationships don’t suffer from a lack of love, but from a lack of intentionality. When partners stop investing in each other emotionally, intellectually, and physically, they begin to drift apart. This can lead to feeling taken for granted, a major predictor of marital dissatisfaction.

So how do couples reignite the spark when their marriage feels mundane? Research and experts suggest several key strategies:

1. Prioritize Novelty

Dr. Arthur Aron (most famous for his “36 Questions” to build intimacy framework) found that couples who engaged in new, challenging activities together—such as taking a dance class or traveling to a new place—reported higher levels of closeness and attraction. Doing something new together sparks the same brain chemicals that fueled early romance.

2. Express Gratitude Daily

Feeling appreciated is a powerful antidote to taking each other for granted. A study published in Personal Relationships found that expressing gratitude to a partner led to higher relationship satisfaction and stronger connection over time. A simple “thank you for making dinner” or “I love how hard you work for our family” goes a long way.

3. Prioritize Physical Touch

Oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone,” is released through touch, deepening feelings of bonding. The late Dr. Sue Johnson, who spent her life as a leading couples therapist, emphasized that small physical gestures—holding hands, hugging, or a quick kiss—can help maintain emotional intimacy.

4. Schedule Time for Connection

Date nights aren’t a luxury; they’re a necessity. Research by The National Marriage Project found that couples who dedicated intentional time together at least once a week were significantly happier in their relationships than those who didn’t.

5. Communicate Beyond Logistics

Many couples fall into the habit of only talking about schedules, bills, and responsibilities. Relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch found that couples who continued to ask each other meaningful questions—about their dreams, fears, and desires—were more likely to maintain long-term satisfaction.

If your marriage feels mundane, take heart: studies also show that relationships often improve after going through a mundane or lackluster season.

A longitudinal study from the University of California found that couples who weathered difficult patches and continued investing in their relationship reported higher satisfaction five years later than those who gave up.

The late Dr. Helen Fisher spent her career researching relationships and the brain as a biological anthropologist. In one of her studies, she explained long-term love operates on a different neurochemical system than early-stage romance, and with consistent effort, the deep attachment and affection that emerge can be even more rewarding than the initial rush of infatuation.

If marriage is a marathon, not a sprint, then seasons of monotony are inevitable. But rather than seeing them as the end of passion, couples can view them as an opportunity—to grow, to reconnect, and to choose love again.

So, the next time you find yourself scrolling through your phone while your partner sits next to you, pause. Reach for their hand. Ask them something deeper than “Did you pay the electric bill?” And remember: love isn’t just something that happens to us. It’s something we create, every day, in small and intentional ways.

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The Real Meaning of Valentine’s Day and How to Celebrate

Valentine’s Day, the annual celebration of love, is a day steeped in both history and tradition. Yet, like the best love stories, its origins are a little mysterious, a bit quirky, and undeniably charming. So, before we dive into how you and your loved one can celebrate in meaningful ways that don’t involve crowded restaurants or pricey gifts, let’s take a quick stroll through history to uncover how this day came to be.

The roots of Valentine’s Day trace back to ancient Rome, where the feast of Lupercalia was celebrated in mid-February.

This festival was a mix of fertility rituals and the pairing off of young couples. With the rise of Christianity, the holiday took on new meaning and was eventually linked to Saint Valentine. But here’s where things get fuzzy: there were at least two martyred saints named Valentine in the early Christian church, and their stories are a bit murky.

One story claims Saint Valentine was a priest who performed secret marriages for young lovers in defiance of an emperor’s ban on matrimony for soldiers. The most popular tale claims he was imprisoned for helping Christians escape persecution and fell in love with his jailer’s daughter, sending her a note signed, “From your Valentine.” While the truth may never be fully untangled, the romantic undertones of these stories cemented Valentine’s Day as a celebration of love.

By the 14th century, February 14th was associated with romance, thanks in part to poets like Geoffrey Chaucer. Over time, exchanging love notes, flowers, and tokens of affection became customary, evolving into the Valentine’s Day we know today.

At its core, Valentine’s Day is about pausing to express love and gratitude to those who matter most.

Whether it’s your spouse, kids, or even your closest friends, this day invites us to step away from the busyness of life and focus on our relationships. It’s less about the commercialized fanfare and more about the heartfelt connections that make life richer.

If the thought of overcrowded restaurants and overpriced trinkets makes you cringe, you’re not alone. Some of the most meaningful celebrations don’t cost a dime.

Here are a few creative ways to celebrate love this Valentine’s Day that prioritize deep connection:

1. Cook Together

Pick a new recipe or a cherished favorite and cook a meal together at home. The process of preparing food side by side can be surprisingly intimate and fun. Bonus: you can enjoy it in your pajamas if you want!

2. Write Love Letters

Take a moment to reflect on why you’re grateful for your partner. Write it all down in a letter. Exchange them over coffee or dessert, and watch as their face lights up while they read your words.

3. Create a Memory Jar

Grab a jar and fill it with notes recalling favorite memories you’ve shared. You can take turns reading them aloud, reliving those moments together.

4. Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

Flip through old photo albums, rewatch the video of your wedding or first date, or revisit the spot where you first met. Nostalgia has a way of reigniting the spark.

5. Have a DIY Spa Night

Light some candles, play relaxing music, and take turns giving each other massages. It’s a relaxing way to unwind and connect.

6. Plan Future Adventures

Dream up future trips, date nights, or goals you want to tackle together. Creating a vision for the future can strengthen your bond and give you something exciting to look forward to.

7. Volunteer Together

Spend the day giving back as a team. Whether it’s serving at a local shelter or writing cards for nursing home residents, spreading love to others can deepen your own connection.

While Valentine’s Day is a lovely reminder to celebrate our relationships, it’s worth remembering that love is in the everyday moments: the shared laughter, the teamwork, and the simple “I’m thinking of you” texts. Whether you celebrate with grand gestures or quiet moments, what matters most is that it’s authentic to you and your partner.

So this Valentine’s Day, ditch the pressure to make it picture-perfect. Instead, focus on what really matters: the love that brought you together and the joy of nurturing it every day.

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Do Different Parenting Styles Collide or Combine?

When my son was two-years-old, he drew a really beautiful picture of swirls, scribbles and dots… with a rock on the side of our car. The scratches were fairly superficial, but the incident revealed something deeper between my husband and I–it was the first time we realized we had different parenting styles.

Parenting can feel like navigating a ship through uncharted waters. Add another captain to the helm with their own map and compass, and the journey can get rocky.

If you and your spouse or partner have found yourselves at odds over parenting styles, you’re not alone. These clashes are common, even for couples with seemingly strong relationships. The good news? Disagreements don’t have to derail your parenting journey. With intentional effort, you can guide your children as a team, even if your approaches differ.

Parenting styles often reflect deeply ingrained values and experiences. One parent might lean towards strict discipline, shaped by a belief in structure and accountability, while the other might prioritize fostering independence and creativity, perhaps influenced by a desire to avoid repeating patterns from their own childhood. Recognizing that these differences stem from personal history can help soften conflict and provide an avenue for deeper understanding and conversation.

Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, emphasizes that clashes often arise not from a lack of love or care but from differing interpretations of what’s best for the child. “When you’re in disagreement, remember that both of you want to raise happy, healthy, and successful kids—you just have different ideas about how to get there,” she says.

Children thrive in environments that feel stable and predictable.

Research from the University of Michigan highlights that inconsistent parenting—where one parent is overly permissive and the other overly strict—can lead to confusion, anxiety, and behavioral issues in children. Unity doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything, but it does mean presenting a cohesive approach to your kids.

Here are some strategies to align your parenting efforts, even when your styles don’t perfectly match:

1. Prioritize communication.

Healthy parenting partnerships are built on communication. Schedule regular check-ins—away from the kids—to discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and where compromises might be made. Approach these conversations with curiosity rather than judgment. For example, instead of saying, “You’re too lenient,” try, “I’ve noticed we handle discipline differently. Can we talk about what’s important to each of us?”

2. Find common ground.

Start by identifying shared values. Maybe you both agree on the importance of kindness, honesty, or resilience. Once you’ve pinpointed these shared goals, you can tailor your parenting approaches to support them, even if the methods differ. For instance, one parent might encourage honesty through open conversations, while the other might use consistent consequences for dishonesty.

3. Agree on non-negotiables.

Every family has its deal-breakers—rules or principles that are non-negotiable. These might include bedtime routines, screen time limits, or safety measures. Agreeing on these core areas provides a foundation of consistency for your children, even if your approaches differ in less critical areas.

4. Play to your strengths.

Instead of striving for identical parenting styles, lean into each partner’s strengths. If one parent is great at calming tantrums and the other excels at fostering curiosity through play, let each person take the lead in their area of expertise. This not only lightens the load but also exposes children to diverse ways of problem-solving and connection.

5. Model respectful conflict.

It’s unrealistic (and frankly unhealthy) for kids to never see their parents disagree. What matters is how you handle those disagreements. Avoid arguing in front of your children, but if it happens, model respectful communication and resolution. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that witnessing healthy conflict resolution can teach children valuable lessons about compromise and emotional regulation.

6. Seek outside guidance.

Sometimes, it’s helpful to bring in a neutral third party. Parenting coaches, therapists, or trusted mentors can provide fresh perspectives and help you navigate persistent disagreements. They can also offer tools to improve communication and find creative solutions.

7. Keep the big picture in mind.

In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to get caught up in whose approach is “right.” But parenting isn’t about winning arguments; it’s about raising well-rounded, emotionally healthy humans. Remind yourself (and each other) of this larger goal when tensions arise.

Diverse parenting styles can actually benefit children. Exposure to different approaches helps them learn flexibility and adaptability. A parent who’s more nurturing might teach empathy and emotional intelligence, while a parent who values structure might instill good habits and responsibility. Together, these approaches can create a balanced environment where children feel both supported and guided.

When my son displayed his art skills by etching his masterpiece into our car, I wanted to make sure he knew art was a fun, creative outlet to be enjoyed within certain parameters. My husband wanted to make sure he knew it was wrong to scratch the car with a rock. Neither of us disagreed with the other, we had different priorities for the end goal. Together, we were able to reach a resolution and provide a well-rounded approach to the situation. Today, my son has his own art table where he knows exactly what he can use to unleash his creativity. He also helps us wash the car and understands the value of maintaining what belongs to you.

Parenting as a team doesn’t mean being identical; it means being intentional. By embracing your differences and working towards common goals, you and your partner can create a parenting dynamic that’s both effective and deeply rewarding for you and your kids.

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Yes, We Have Technology, But How Does Technology Have Us?

There’s a story about an older fish crossing currents with two younger fish. The older fish makes small talk by asking, “How’s the water today, fellas?” Almost in unison, the younger fish reply, “Fine,” as they continue on their way. Then one of the younger fish turns to the other and asks, “What the heck is water?” 

Of course, the moral of the story is that the younger fish have been so busy doing fish things that they’ve never noticed the most obvious element of their environment.

We’re reaching a saturation point in our environment where digital technology is standard and so deeply embedded that we barely even notice it, let alone question it. We’re busy doing our human things. 

A question like why there is a screen in the gas pump showing highlights from a late-night talk show hardly seems worth asking. Exploring how all of this technology affects us, our families, and society can seem like a quirky curiosity. Just enjoy it, right?

It’s become difficult to think of an aspect of everyday life that doesn’t run on ones and zeros zipping through a server in some far-off, climate-controlled room. As much as I could live without commercials while I’m pumping gas, I can’t imagine life without today’s remarkable technologies. 

I’ve become absolutely dependent on my smartphone, smartwatch, tablet, and laptop. And streaming music and movies. And my car navigating as its sensors help keep me safe. And Alexa turning on my lights. And Google answering my questions in a nanosecond. And artificial intelligence anticipating when I’ll be low on coffee. 

It goes on and on. You get the point. But we can’t just swim around in this stuff without asking sensible questions. Sure, I love what technology has given me, but what is it taking? Should I be concerned that the smartphone in my pocket is apparently not convenient enough? Wearable technology is expected to grow to 489.1 million devices globally this year.

There are legitimate concerns about the effects of screen time and social media, particularly for children and teens. About half of teens report feeling overwhelmed by the daily notifications they receive. Teenagers who spend five hours a day on electronic devices are 71% more likely to have suicide risk factors than those with one-hour use.

Smartphones, laptops, and Wi-Fi allow many of us to collaborate with our co-workers from home. That’s awesome. But research indicates that most infidelity occurs between co-workers and begins via text and email– avenues of communication that lend themselves to secrecy and allow intimacy to escalate quickly. That’s tragic.

The average American adult reportedly checks their phone 344 times a day. 35% admit to using or looking at their phone while driving, causing 26% of car accidents and killing 11 people per day. 

There are genuine catastrophes associated with our infatuation with technology. And there’s some plain puzzling stuff. 61% of Americans reported that they had recently texted someone in the same room. Over half say their smartphone is their most valued possession. According to multiple surveys, a third of Americans indicated they would rather give up sex than their smartphone. Um, what?

Does. Any. Of. This. Sound. Healthy? Can we talk about our culture’s relationship with technology and take an honest look at our own? Can we learn how to enjoy the benefits of technology for ourselves and our families while avoiding these hazards?

Over the next few weeks, this space will engage the question, “What the heck is water?” I hope to see you here.

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