The Art of Telling and Hearing Tough Stuff 

A friend came to me recently seeking clarity and understanding on a topic that concerned them. They graciously asked me to share the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 

“A friend doesn’t just have the right to tell me something, they should feel obligated to share hard truths,” they said, opening the door big and wide into a potentially difficult conversation.

I shared my perspective, cleared up some misconceptions, asked questions, and spoke the truth as clearly as possible. We thanked each other for the conversation, joked about how I’d probably write about the experience in a column, hugged, and departed.

I loved this moment.

While it may have been a little uncomfortable for both of us, it was also grounding for us as individuals and for our friendship overall.

Let’s face it: friendships aren’t just shared meals, text chains full of emojis, and consistently sharing relatable reels on social media. They’re built on a foundation of honesty, trust, and—sometimes—those dreaded “we need to talk” moments. As much as we all wish friendships could sidestep the discomfort of hard conversations, the reality is that when we truly care about someone, speaking up about difficult truths can be a profound act of love. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Why is it so hard to share tough truths with friends? Research by Dr. Jeffrey Hall, a communication professor and friendship expert, shows that fear of conflict, hurting someone’s feelings, or even facing rejection can make us hesitant to deliver challenging messages. These barriers are common, but they’re also the exact walls we need to climb if we’re serious about maintaining deep, genuine connections.

If you’re on the side that needs to deliver difficult information, tread thoughtfully.

Here are a few research-backed tips on making these conversations as gentle yet honest as possible:

1. Pause and Plan: Reflect on your motivations before diving in. Relationship experts suggest asking yourself: “Why do I feel compelled to share this? Is it truly for their benefit?” Avoid “tough love” if it’s rooted more in venting frustrations than helping.

2. Choose the Right Time: Timing can be everything. According to Dr. Erin Leonard, a psychotherapist specializing in conflict resolution, picking the right moment allows your friend to feel supported and grounded. Avoid moments when either of you might be overly stressed or distracted. Create a safe, neutral environment.

3. Lead with Empathy and Soft Language: Start by acknowledging the difficulty of the conversation and how much you value the friendship. Statements like “I’ve been struggling with how to bring this up because I care about you,” or “I know this might be hard to hear, but I’m saying this because I believe it matters,” can help soften the blow and show respect.

4. Stick to Facts, Not Judgments: Frame your concerns around specific actions or behaviors, not personality traits. Dr. Leonard recommends focusing on what you’ve observed rather than labeling or interpreting it: instead of “You’re irresponsible,” say, “I noticed you forgot your work deadline twice this month, and I’m worried it might be affecting your career.”

5. Be Ready to Listen, Too: When you’ve said what you need to say, make room for their response—even if it stings. A true friend should welcome the dialogue. They may need time to process or even disagree with you, but their response can often add depth to the relationship.

On the other hand, hearing uncomfortable truths about ourselves might be even harder than sharing them.

Our instinct is often to get defensive, explain ourselves, or dismiss the feedback. Embracing these moments as a chance for growth is where real resilience comes in.

Here are a few ways to do just that:

  1. Listen Without Interrupting: It can be tough, but resist the urge to interject with justifications or denials. In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown talks about “rumbling with vulnerability”—taking a breath and letting someone else’s perspective settle before you react. This “pause” allows us to hear what’s being said without immediately filtering it through our own defenses.
  2. Assume Positive Intent: Remind yourself that a real friend wouldn’t share this unless they believed it was important. Studies show that we often respond more calmly when we view the feedback as a product of care rather than critique. Try to interpret the feedback as their way of helping, not hurting.
  3. Ask Questions, Not for Justification but for Clarity: If something’s unclear, calmly ask questions to gain a clearer picture. This helps clarify the message and keeps the conversation constructive. Questions like “Can you give me an example of when I did this?” or “How did my actions impact you?” can bring context without getting defensive.
  4. Express Appreciation (Even if It’s Hard): A simple “Thank you for caring enough to bring this up” can transform the conversation. Not only does it help the friend sharing the hard truth feel valued, but it also signals your openness to growth. Research from the Journal of Positive Psychology shows that expressing gratitude in tense conversations often strengthens bonds rather than weakening them.
  5. Reflect and Decide What to Take Away: Not all feedback will feel fair or accurate, but if you reflect on it later with an open mind, you might find something useful. Sometimes feedback is exaggerated by emotion or based on one person’s unique experience, so take what resonates and leave the rest.

Ultimately, the ability to have these hard conversations and remain close friends afterward is a powerful indicator of the friendship’s depth. Dr. Hall’s research finds that friendships marked by frequent, open communication and vulnerability tend to last longer and be more fulfilling. 

When I look at the friendships I treasure most, they’re the ones where I’ve been on both sides of this equation.

It’s not always the friends that I see or talk to every day, but they care enough to call me out when I need it. I’ve also felt the pain of sharing something that was difficult to say.

So next time you’re in the position of telling or hearing tough stuff, remember that these moments are like the deep, grounding roots that hold a friendship steady through any storm. Embrace them as an opportunity to grow—and remind your friend that your bond is strong enough to hold both the easy and the hard truths.

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What it Means to Be a Lighthouse Parent

One brief scan of parenting accounts on social media and a quick Google search will reveal a new trending style of parenting called “lighthouse parenting.”

The term was popularized by Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician and author who coined the phrase to describe a parenting style that combines nurturing protection with the freedom to let children find their own way. Imagine a lighthouse: sturdy, grounded, and ever-present, offering light to guide without controlling the waters. As Dr. Ginsburg puts it, “Our job as parents is to stand steady, like a lighthouse, to guide our children, not to steer every move they make.”

But what does it really mean to be a lighthouse parent?

Lighthouse parenting strikes a balance between two extremes—on the one hand, there’s the helicopter parent, ever-hovering, ready to swoop in at the first sign of distress. On the other, there’s the free-range parent, who prioritizes independence above all else. Lighthouse parents walk the middle ground, emphasizing guidance over control, and resilience over dependence.

A lighthouse parent provides security and safety, offering their children a refuge when the seas get rough. This means being emotionally available and creating a home environment where kids feel safe to express their feelings, ask questions, and make mistakes. It also means setting clear boundaries so your kids know the shore is always near.

This parenting style emphasizes guiding children through challenges rather than solving problems for them. Studies show that children who are allowed to take risks and work through problems on their own tend to be more resilient and better equipped to handle stress. Lighthouse parents foster independence by offering guidance and support while ensuring their children have the tools to navigate life’s difficulties.

Lighthouse parenting promotes resilience by encouraging children to step outside their comfort zones, whether it’s trying new activities or managing social challenges.

A recent study published in Developmental Psychology found that children who were given space to face minor failures—like a low grade on a test—demonstrated higher levels of persistence and emotional control later in life.

In contrast to helicopter parenting, which can inadvertently undermine a child’s sense of self-efficacy, lighthouse parenting builds a strong foundation for emotional intelligence and problem-solving. It encourages kids to see challenges as opportunities to grow rather than crises to be avoided.

Dr. Wendy Mogel, a clinical psychologist and author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, argues that overprotective parenting can prevent children from developing the coping skills they need to handle adversity. Instead, she suggests that parents should allow their kids to experience some discomfort and frustration, trusting in their ability to bounce back. This approach aligns closely with lighthouse parenting, which balances nurturing with the belief that children are more capable than we often give them credit for.

Today’s parenting landscape is awash with advice, apps, and endless social media feeds showcasing idyllic family moments (often staged, let’s be honest). But lighthouse parents choose to focus less on perfection and more on presence.

They understand that their role isn’t to shield their children from every storm but to be a constant source of light—a steady guide—through life’s challenges.

As a parent of two little ones, I see firsthand the need to let my children explore and stumble while ensuring they know that I’m always there, standing tall like that lighthouse. It’s a delicate dance, much like trying to soothe a toddler while making sure my kindergartner doesn’t leave the house with mismatched shoes (again). But at the end of the day, I want them to know I trust them to navigate their own seas, while also being the rock they can always return to.

In a world that often feels overwhelming, being a lighthouse parent is a powerful reminder that we don’t have to do it all, nor do we have to let go completely. We just have to shine brightly enough for our kids to find their way.

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A New App to Prevent and Dismantle Cyberbullying

I often think about the world my little ones are growing up in. With technology at the forefront of our lives, it’s hard to ignore the benefits—and the challenges—our children will face online. One of the most pressing concerns for parents today is cyberbullying. Enter ActionPoint, a new app designed to combat cyberbullying by strengthening the most important relationship in a child’s life—the one they share with their parents.

ActionPoint isn’t just another parental control app that monitors screen time or filters content.

Instead, it’s built with a fresh approach: fostering open communication between parents and teens while providing tools to tackle the growing issue of cyberbullying head-on. This app is designed with the belief that strong relationships between parents and teens are the most effective safeguard against online threats.

At its core, ActionPoint is all about building trust. The app offers parents and teens a shared platform where they can communicate openly about digital safety. Instead of just telling parents what their teens are doing online, it prompts both parties to engage in regular, meaningful conversations.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Customized Discussion Prompts: Based on the child’s age and online habits, the app offers tailored discussion topics that help parents broach sensitive subjects, like what to do if they experience or witness cyberbullying.
  2. Real-Time Alerts: If any alarming behavior or content is detected—such as potential cyberbullying—the app notifies both the parent and the teen. But rather than being punitive, the app encourages parents to have a supportive, problem-solving conversation.
  3. Education Modules: ActionPoint offers both parents and teens bite-sized learning modules about internet safety, online empathy, and how to build positive digital habits. This ensures that everyone is on the same page and equipped with the knowledge they need.
  4. Family Check-Ins: Weekly family “check-ins” create opportunities for reflection. Both parents and teens can rate their online experiences, share any concerns, and set goals for healthy digital engagement.

Cyberbullying is a modern epidemic. Studies show that nearly 37% of teens have experienced some form of cyberbullying, and the mental health effects can be devastating—ranging from anxiety and depression to, tragically, suicide. Meanwhile, parents often feel helpless and unsure of how to intervene or identify when their child is struggling.

By focusing on relationship-building, ActionPoint doesn’t just help parents step in when something goes wrong. It helps prevent cyberbullying from taking root in the first place.

When teens feel supported and empowered by their parents, they are more likely to open up about their experiences—good or bad. And when parents feel connected to their teens, they’re better positioned to guide them through tricky online interactions.

The ultimate goal of ActionPoint is not just to end cyberbullying, but to cultivate healthier, more resilient relationships between parents and teens. Research shows that when teens feel supported by their parents, they are less likely to engage in risky online behaviors and more likely to speak up when something doesn’t feel right. This, in turn, strengthens their emotional resilience and boosts their self-esteem.

For parents, the app offers peace of mind. Instead of constantly policing their teen’s online world, they can focus on being present, supportive, and engaged. The app provides the tools, but it’s the conversations and the trust built over time that truly make the difference.

As a mom, I’m still navigating the basics of raising little ones. But I know the day is coming when I’ll need to prepare them for the digital world. What excites me about ActionPoint is its focus on proactive, relational solutions rather than reactive controls. It reminds us that no matter how advanced technology becomes, the most powerful tool we have as parents is the connection we cultivate with our kids.

If we can strengthen these relationships now, we’ll be giving our children the best defense they can have—both online and offline. And that, to me, is the most important lesson of all.

Note to reader: ActionPoint is currently available to download on Apple mobile devices through the App Store.

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The Ripple Effect of Poverty on Family Health

From spending time with my two young children to working with parents who are trying their best to raise their families in a healthy way, I’m reminded daily how the environment we grow up in shapes our lives. It’s more than just the house we live in or the school our children attend—it’s the very fabric of their future well-being, both physically and emotionally. And one of the most significant factors in that fabric is poverty.

We often talk about poverty in terms of numbers and statistics—how many families live below the poverty line or the percentage of children on free or reduced lunch. But behind every statistic is a story of a family struggling to do their best amidst circumstances that can be relentless and unforgiving.

Living in poverty is not just a financial struggle; it’s an emotional one.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that financial stress is one of the leading causes of anxiety and depression in adults. This stress doesn’t just stay with the parents; it trickles down to the children. Chronic stress in children raised in low-income households can affect brain development and increase the likelihood of behavioral issues and poor academic performance.

The constant stress of scarcity—whether it’s worrying about paying the rent, having enough food, or affording medical care—creates a state of chronic anxiety. This stress disrupts the ability to nurture, connect, and provide stability, making it harder for parents to form healthy bonds with their children. 

The toll of poverty isn’t limited to parent-child relationships. It seeps into the relationships between partners as well.

Financial strain is a common predictor of marital discord. According to a study from the Journal of Family and Economic Issues, couples in lower-income brackets are more likely to experience conflict over finances, which can lead to a breakdown in communication and even increase the likelihood of separation or divorce. This fracturing of the family unit not only affects the partners but reverberates through the lives of the children, adding to their emotional and psychological burdens.

The heartbreaking reality is that poverty and relational health often form a vicious cycle.

Children raised in low-income households are more likely to face difficulties in forming stable relationships themselves. Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicates that individuals who experience economic hardship in childhood are more prone to marital instability as adults. This creates a generational cycle where relational health and economic stability are intertwined in a complex web that’s hard to unravel.

The good news is that this cycle can be broken.

One of the most powerful tools we have is education—not just in terms of academics, but in teaching skills like emotional regulation, stress management, and effective communication. Programs, such as First Things First, that support families in these areas can lead to healthier relationships and, ultimately, a more stable home environment for children.

It’s easy to think of poverty as someone else’s problem. But when one family struggles, we all feel the ripple effects. Higher rates of poverty are linked to increased crime, lower school performance, and a heavier burden on public services—all of which affect the health of our community.  As a parent, I want nothing more than for my children to grow up in a world where they feel secure, loved, and supported. For too many families, poverty threatens to take that away. But by coming together as a community—whether through supporting local nonprofits, advocating for policy change, or simply extending a helping hand to a neighbor in need—we can support an environment where every child has the opportunity to thrive.

So, let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s talk about poverty not just as a statistic, but as a relational issue that impacts us all. And let’s commit to creating a community where every family has the chance to grow, flourish, and contribute to a brighter, healthier future for everyone.

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Humor: A Secret Weapon of Parenting

Humor in parenting is more than just a coping mechanism for the chaos—it’s a proven strategy for building stronger, healthier relationships with our children, while also boosting their mental health and resilience.

Research shows that humor can enhance the emotional well-being of both parents and children.

A longitudinal study published in Developmental Psychology followed children and their families over a span of 18 years. It found that children whose parents used humor as part of their parenting toolkit were more likely to develop strong problem-solving skills, emotional regulation, and resilience in the face of challenges. These kids were also found to have a higher likelihood of maintaining positive social relationships into adulthood.

Humor also lightens the load for parents.

A study from Pediatric Sociological Studies showed that parents who frequently engaged in light-hearted interactions with their children experienced lower levels of stress and burnout. This is crucial, as we know that parental stress can spill over into the emotional lives of children, influencing their long-term mental health.

When used appropriately, humor can also create a sense of safety and connectedness.

Laughter releases endorphins, those wonderful chemicals in the brain that make us feel happy and relaxed. When we share a laugh with our children, we build trust, enhance attachment, and open up communication. These moments of shared joy create a buffer against stress and can help de-escalate tense situations.

But more than just a quick fix for diffusing tension, humor helps children learn to navigate the complexities of life with grace.

According to a study from The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, children who grow up in a home where humor is valued are more likely to develop cognitive flexibility. This means they can approach challenges from different perspectives, creatively solve problems, and maintain a more positive outlook during tough times.

Of course, there are a few things to keep in mind when choosing to use humor in your parenting, such as being age-appropriate.

The humor that works with a toddler might not be effective with a teenager. Younger kids thrive on silly, physical humor, while older children often appreciate clever wordplay or situational jokes. My five-year-old, for instance, loves when I talk in silly voices, while my one-year-old cracks up when I play peek-a-boo.

Also, it’s important to remember not to use humor in a way that belittles or embarrasses your child.

Sarcasm or jokes at a child’s expense can hurt more than help. It’s essential to ensure that the humor lifts up rather than tears down. Longitudinal research published in Parenting Science found that children who experienced humor used to mock or criticize them were more likely to develop anxiety and lower self-esteem over time. And, when it comes to holding genuine conversations about emotions and serious matters, humor should be avoided. If a child is feeling sad or frustrated, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings before trying to lighten the mood.

However, you can and should use humor to defuse power struggles.

Next time your child refuses to put on their shoes, try a playful approach instead of a power battle. “Are you sure you’re not an alien who loves to go barefoot?” might get you further than stern commands. A 10-year study from Family Relations found that humor used in conflict resolution led to better cooperation and more peaceful interactions between parents and children.

Parents often face moments where things don’t go as planned—whether it’s an epic tantrum in the grocery store or a trail of crushed crackers throughout the house. In these moments, humor can be our lifeline. It helps us stay calm, it helps our children stay connected to us, and it teaches them that life, with all its messiness, is still full of joy.

Raising resilient, happy children doesn’t mean protecting them from every challenge—it means equipping them to handle life’s inevitable ups and downs with grace. Humor does exactly that. So, the next time you find yourself knee-deep in Legos or dealing with a meltdown over mismatched socks, take a deep breath, crack a joke, and watch the tension melt away.

By leaning into humor, we’re not just making parenting more enjoyable for ourselves; we’re giving our children a gift they can carry with them throughout their lives. And that is worth its weight in gold—or at least in giggles.

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How Can Parents Navigate Feelings of Fear in an Uncertain World?

Mass shootings and intrusions at schools or public places can feel like a dark cloud hanging over our heads, making us question how to protect our kids and our families while still giving them the freedom to grow and explore. While there are bigger conversations to be had and differing opinions and thoughts from multiple sides, we can’t stop living our lives or create a bubble around ourselves and the ones we love. How do we deal with these worries without letting them consume us?

Start by remembering this key phrase: Fear thrives on the unknown.

So, the more you understand, the better equipped you’ll feel. Familiarize yourself with your child’s school safety protocols. Many schools have extensive measures in place—locked entrances, ID requirements, emergency drills, and response plans. Reach out to the administration to learn how they’re prepared for emergencies. Understanding these procedures can help calm the fear that nothing is being done.

You can also teach yourself and your child safety skills.

While we can’t shield our children from every danger, we can give them tools to navigate the world. Talk to your kids about safety without making it scary. For young children, keeping it simple and age-appropriate is key: “If something feels wrong, find a trusted adult or follow what your teacher says.”

Practicing emergency drills at home—like what to do in case of a fire or a lockdown—can reinforce the importance of safety without overwhelming them.

Frame it like learning any other life skill, like crossing the street or wearing a helmet.

Also, limit your media and news intake.

While staying informed is essential, a steady diet of bad news can be overwhelming. Take stock of how much media you’re consuming about violence or school shootings. Constant exposure can heighten anxiety. Instead, balance it with positive stories about community, resilience, and safety improvements. For every heartbreaking story, there are countless others where people step up to make schools and public spaces safer. Plus, taking breaks from the news cycle enhances your ability to practice mindfulness. When we care for ourselves, we’re better equipped to care for our kids.

It’s easy to feel powerless in the face of such big issues, but there are ways to make a difference. Get involved with local school boards or community safety initiatives. Advocate for policies and programs that promote safer schools, whether that’s through better mental health support, security upgrades, or community-building efforts. Real change happens when parents, educators, and community members come together to prioritize safety.

Even just sharing your concerns and fears with other people in your community can provide support, help each other to not feel so alone, and produce motivation for making tangible changes where needed.

While the reality of school shootings and violence can feel overwhelming, parents have a choice in how to respond. The choice is harder to make some days than others, but equipping ourselves and our children with the right tools, fostering open communication, and leaning on our community for support can help us all find a balance between protecting them and letting them live fully.

Our kids deserve both safety and freedom, and while it’s impossible to guarantee one or the other, we can certainly do our best to provide both.

As my son walked into his kindergarten classroom for the first time a few weeks ago, his little backpack bouncing and his smile wide with excitement, I reminded myself that, yes, the world can be scary—but it’s also filled with good people, hope, and possibility. And that’s the world I want him to have the ability to see and continue to build.

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The Surgeon General’s Call to Action on Parenting and What it Means for Us All

Last week, I had a “day.” A day where nothing went right. Our dog was sick, the laundry piles were touching the ceiling, my children’s emotions were running high and they were begging to spend time with me, plus I had three large looming deadlines at work. All of those elements felt impossible to work through and all of the deep breaths in the world couldn’t save me from the stress. By the end of the day, I realized I had to practice what I preach. As a CEO of a family non-profit, a wife, and a mom of two littles, I can easily become all consumed by the to-do list and forget about my role in relationships. I can forget to ask for help, to lean on those around me, and to make my needs known. 

As busy parents and caregivers, it’s easy to lose sight of the most important aspect of our journey: our mental health and well-being.

Recently, the United States Surgeon General issued an advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents, shedding light on an issue that many of us feel every day but rarely talk about openly.

The Surgeon General’s advisory highlights a growing concern: parents in America are struggling with their mental health. The report points out several key factors contributing to this crisis, including financial stress, lack of support, work-life balance challenges, and potential lingering effects from the pandemic. It also notes that parents, particularly those with young children, are facing higher rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout than ever before.

One of the most striking parts of the advisory is its focus on the ripple effects of parental mental health. When parents struggle, it’s not just the adults who suffer; children are deeply affected too. A parent’s emotional state can influence their child’s development, behavior, and even long-term well-being. As the Surgeon General noted, “When parents thrive, children thrive.”

So, what can we do? The advisory emphasizes the importance of seeking help and building strong support networks.

Here are a few steps parents can take to protect their mental health:

  1. Seek professional help. Now I know this can feel like another thing to add to your list of to-do’s. Another thing to research, another appointment to make, but if you had a terrible, persistent headache or constant nausea for weeks, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to prioritize a doctor’s visit to find relief? Your mental health deserves the same sense of urgency. Therapy can provide a safe space to discuss your feelings, develop coping strategies, and navigate the challenges of parenting.
  1. Rely on your support network. Connect with other parents, family members, or friends who understand what you’re going through. If you’re married or actively in a healthy co-parenting relationship, be open with your partner about how you’re feeling. Let them know when you need a little extra support or time to yourself. Sometimes, just talking to someone who “gets it” can make a world of difference.
  1. Prioritize self-care. I know, I know—self-care is the buzzword that can sometimes feel like an impossible dream. But even small moments—like a quiet cup of coffee in the morning or a 10-minute walk—can help recharge your batteries. I wake up every morning at least 30 minutes before the rest of my family. I drink coffee, cuddle my dog, reflect on the previous day, pray for the day ahead, and take deep breaths. This alone time greatly influences my mood for the day, and my husband helps me protect it.
  1. Advocate for family-friendly policies. The advisory specifically calls on workplaces, communities, and policymakers to create environments that support parents. Flexible work schedules, affordable childcare, and paid family leave are crucial. As parents, we can advocate for these changes in our communities and workplaces. Our local United Way of Chattanooga is actively working to affect policies for working families in our community. You can learn more about the movement and how to get involved by going to unitedwaycha.org/workingfamilies

The Surgeon General’s advisory is more than just a wake-up call; it’s a call to action.

By prioritizing the mental health and well-being of parents, we can build a stronger foundation for families across our community and the nation. Imagine a future where every parent has access to the resources and support they need to thrive—and where every child has the stable parent or caregiver they need to grow and develop successfully.

This advisory also signals a broader shift in how we view parenting in America.

It’s a recognition that parenting isn’t just a personal journey; it’s a public health issue. By supporting parents, we’re not just helping individuals or families—we’re fostering healthier, more resilient communities.

I understand the unique challenges of balancing it all. Some days are filled with joy and laughter; others are a mix of chaos and tears. But remember, we’re in this together. This advisory is a reminder that it’s okay to seek help, lean on each other, and prioritize our well-being. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

So, to all the parents reading this, know that you are not alone. Let’s take this advisory as a stepping stone towards a future where every parent feels supported, every child feels safe, and every family thrives. 

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Staying Connected During the School Year: Tips for Busy Parents

As the school year kicks into high gear, it’s easy to get swept up in the hustle and bustle of packed schedules, homework, and extracurricular activities. Trust me, I get it. With a kindergartener and a baby at home, my days are a whirlwind of drop-offs, diaper changes, and trying to sneak in some quality time with my husband. But amidst the chaos, there’s one thing that I’ve found to be essential: staying connected with our kids.

It’s easy to assume that our kids are fine as long as they’re fed, clothed, and getting good grades. But research shows staying emotionally connected with our children has profound impacts on their well-being and development.

According to the Harvard Graduate School of Education, strong parent-child connections lead to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, and lower levels of anxiety and depression in children.

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and parenting expert, emphasizes that connection is the foundation of effective parenting. “When your child feels connected to you, they’re more likely to cooperate, listen, and confide in you,” she explains. This connection also fosters resilience, helping children navigate the challenges of growing up with a sense of security and trust.

So, how can we stay connected with our children when life feels like one long to-do list?

Here are some strategies that have worked for our family and are backed by experts:

1. Make morning time special. Mornings can be chaotic, but they’re also a prime opportunity for connection. Even if it’s just five minutes, try to have a calm and positive start to the day. A quick breakfast together, a shared song on the way to school, or a hug before heading out the door can set a loving tone for the day ahead.

2. Prioritize family dinners. Family dinners are a golden opportunity for connection. Studies by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University have shown that children who eat dinner with their families regularly are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more likely to have healthier relationships with their parents. Make this time device-free, and encourage everyone to share something about their day—highs, lows, and everything in between.

3. Create bedtime rituals. Bedtime is a wonderful time to wind down and connect with your child. Reading a story, talking about their day, or simply snuggling can help your child feel safe and loved as they drift off to sleep. This ritual doesn’t have to be long; consistency is what matters most.

4. Be present in the little moments. Connection doesn’t always have to be grand. Sometimes it’s the little moments that mean the most. Be fully present when your child wants to tell you about their day, even if it’s just a few minutes. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and listen actively. This shows them that they are a priority.

5. Engage in their interests. Show interest in what your child loves, whether it’s a TV show, a sport, or a hobby. Engaging in their world—even if it’s just asking questions—makes them feel valued and understood. This also opens the door for deeper conversations and shared experiences.

6. Use technology wisely. While it’s important to minimize screen time, technology can also be a tool for connection. Video calls during the day, sending a quick text or voice note, or sharing a funny meme can help maintain a sense of closeness, even when you’re not physically together.

7. Plan regular one-on-one time. Carve out time for each child individually, even if it’s just a short walk or a trip to the grocery store together. This one-on-one time can strengthen your bond and give them a chance to open up about things they might not share in a group setting.

Investing in your relationship with your children now will pay off in the long run. As they grow older, your strong connection will make it easier for them to come to you with their problems, seek your advice, and maintain a close relationship into adulthood. This connection isn’t just about the here and now; it’s about building a foundation for a lifelong bond.

As the school year unfolds, let’s remind ourselves that staying connected with our kids doesn’t require grand gestures or hours of extra time—it’s about being intentional with the moments we have.

In the end, it’s those small, consistent acts of love and attention that will have the biggest impact on our children’s lives. So, here’s to a school year full of learning, laughter, and, most importantly, connection.

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