Every few weeks, social media serves up a new kind of honesty: parents saying they love their kids… and also don’t want to be around them. Not “I need a break,” but “I only have about 10–15 minutes in me a day,” or “I don’t want to play,” or “My kids irritate me nonstop.” I…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/pexels-olly-3820210-scaled.jpg14542048Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-02-03 08:00:002026-01-30 11:45:37When “I Don’t Want to Parent” Goes Viral, Kids Still Have to Live There
Most of us learned “basic needs” as a short list: food, water, shelter, safety. Useful, yes. Complete? Not really. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child is asking us to widen the list with something that sounds soft but works like a load-bearing wall: mattering. In their working paper Mattering in Early Childhood, they define mattering…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/pexels-alliefeeley-20671757-scaled.jpg20481536Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-01-25 08:00:002026-01-20 12:33:29Why Mattering Matters, Especially for Children
“Low effort family” is a new term trending across social media. With therapists, researchers and relationship enthusiasts weighing in and providing different definitions of what a “low effort family” looks like, I had to do my own research. Some families run on “auto-pilot.” Plans are last minute. Rules change depending on who’s tired. Conversations are…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/pexels-emma-bauso-1183828-2253879-scaled.jpg13672048Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-01-18 08:00:002026-01-09 15:12:02What High Vs. Low Effort Looks Like in Families
When “I Don’t Want to Parent” Goes Viral, Kids Still Have to Live There
Every few weeks, social media serves up a new kind of honesty: parents saying they love their kids… and also don’t want to be around them. Not “I need a break,” but “I only have about 10–15 minutes in me a day,” or “I don’t want to play,” or “My kids irritate me nonstop.” I…
Why Mattering Matters, Especially for Children
Most of us learned “basic needs” as a short list: food, water, shelter, safety. Useful, yes. Complete? Not really. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child is asking us to widen the list with something that sounds soft but works like a load-bearing wall: mattering. In their working paper Mattering in Early Childhood, they define mattering…
What High Vs. Low Effort Looks Like in Families
“Low effort family” is a new term trending across social media. With therapists, researchers and relationship enthusiasts weighing in and providing different definitions of what a “low effort family” looks like, I had to do my own research. Some families run on “auto-pilot.” Plans are last minute. Rules change depending on who’s tired. Conversations are…