Most of us learned “basic needs” as a short list: food, water, shelter, safety. Useful, yes. Complete? Not really. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child is asking us to widen the list with something that sounds soft but works like a load-bearing wall: mattering. In their working paper Mattering in Early Childhood, they define mattering…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/pexels-alliefeeley-20671757-scaled.jpg20481536Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-01-25 08:00:002026-01-20 12:33:29Why Mattering Matters, Especially for Children
“Low effort family” is a new term trending across social media. With therapists, researchers and relationship enthusiasts weighing in and providing different definitions of what a “low effort family” looks like, I had to do my own research. Some families run on “auto-pilot.” Plans are last minute. Rules change depending on who’s tired. Conversations are…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/pexels-emma-bauso-1183828-2253879-scaled.jpg13672048Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-01-18 08:00:002026-01-09 15:12:02What High Vs. Low Effort Looks Like in Families
Anger gets a bad rap. But anger isn’t the villain in your relationship. It’s more like your body’s push notification: “Something feels unfair, unsafe, or important—please look here.” The trouble is that when anger is loud, we tend to do one of two things: explode (control) or shut down (connection at any cost). Neither one…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/pexels-cottonbro-10679195-scaled.jpg20481366Lauren Hallhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-01-11 08:00:002026-01-05 12:16:40How to Be Mad and Still Be Kind
Why Mattering Matters, Especially for Children
Most of us learned “basic needs” as a short list: food, water, shelter, safety. Useful, yes. Complete? Not really. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child is asking us to widen the list with something that sounds soft but works like a load-bearing wall: mattering. In their working paper Mattering in Early Childhood, they define mattering…
What High Vs. Low Effort Looks Like in Families
“Low effort family” is a new term trending across social media. With therapists, researchers and relationship enthusiasts weighing in and providing different definitions of what a “low effort family” looks like, I had to do my own research. Some families run on “auto-pilot.” Plans are last minute. Rules change depending on who’s tired. Conversations are…
How to Be Mad and Still Be Kind
Anger gets a bad rap. But anger isn’t the villain in your relationship. It’s more like your body’s push notification: “Something feels unfair, unsafe, or important—please look here.” The trouble is that when anger is loud, we tend to do one of two things: explode (control) or shut down (connection at any cost). Neither one…