What to Do if Your Child is Being Cyberbullied

Cyberbullying has been on the rise for a while, but it has escalated during the pandemic. And it’s no wonder, due to virtual school, increased technology, and the flexibility parents have been giving to digital boundaries.

Our kids are highly active online. They’re digital natives. This is the world they are growing up in. Safety is always a concern, just like it was for us. I want my kids to be safe when they are online, so I want them to be aware of cyberbullying. 

Cyberbullying is using an electronic device to intimidate, threaten or humiliate another. It’s bullying in a digital world, and it can be done 24/7.

According to a recent Pew Research survey, 59% of U.S. teens have experienced some form of online harassment. Teens reported six common types of abusive behavior: 

• Offensive name-calling
• Spreading of false rumors
• Receiving explicit images they didn’t ask for
• Frequently being asked where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with by others
• Physical threats
• Having explicit photos of them shared without their consent

As parents, we need to proactively watch for signs of cyberbullying. Ninety percent of teens surveyed believe cyberbullying is a problem that affects people their age. A majority of them felt their parents were doing a good job addressing online harassment. Let’s keep it up.

Signs of cyberbullying

Here are some signs that your child is a victim of cyberbullying. They: 

• Suddenly stop using their computer, tablet, or phone, even though they’ve always enjoyed it.
• Seem nervous when receiving a text or notification.
• Shut down their devices when family members approach them.
• Allude to bullying without directly saying they are being bullied. Maybe your child talks about drama at school or their lack of friends.
• Withdraw from technology, friends, or family.

If you see these signs, don’t just assume they act this way because they are teens. While that may be the case, something deeper may be happening.

Steps you can take to help your child

The first step is to talk to your child. As parents, we know our kids best. When you see a change in their attitude or demeanor, ask some questions. If you sense they’re being bullied but won’t open up about it, share a story from your childhood about when you were bullied. Your child’s safety is your top priority. You want to make sure they feel safe and know they can talk to you about anything. You both want the same result: to stop cyberbullying.

If you don’t already have ground rules in place for technology usage, now’s the time to start. You should be able to see where and who your child has been interacting with online.

If you find evidence of cyberbullying, get help. Here’s what the Cyberbullying Research Center recommends:

• Collect evidence. Print out or take screenshots of cyberbullying instances.
• Work with the school. Talk to the administrator about their bullying policy.
• Do not contact the bully’s parents. While this is often our first thought, we don’t want to escalate the situation. We, as parents, usually take our child’s side and don’t like to listen to accusations about their behavior.
• Contact the content provider. Websites, apps, gaming networks, etc., all have terms of service that cyberbullying violates. It’s in all those disclaimers that we often just click “I have read and agree” without reading. (Guilty!) Even if your child can’t identify their bully, the provider can do something about it.
• If necessary, seek counseling. Remember your child’s well-being is the top priority. Bullying can have long-lasting effects. Speaking to a counselor may help them.
• If there are physical threats, contact the police. It may be an empty threat, but do not wait to find out.  

Cyberbullying can be a severe threat to your child’s well-being. They deserve the opportunity to learn and develop without fear. The best step you can take is to be proactive. Be engaged in their digital lives and build an environment of trust and transparency.

More resources:

• The Truth About Cyberbullying
• Dating Violence in the Digital Age
• What You Need to Know About Bullying
• How to Prevent Bullying