Journaling/Writing Prompts for Kids
Journaling isn’t just for school. It can help your kids in a variety of personal ways that can also help you as a parent tune into your kids. Sometimes your kids will be willing to share their thoughts with you, but they will often put something into writing that they might not say to you.
Let’s be honest — even with school and everything else that’s going on, your kids probably need some constructive things to do. Journaling can fire their imagination, improve their writing skills, and cultivate self-awareness. Plus it can be fun and give you something to start a conversation! Make it part of their daily routine — maybe the first thing they do after breakfast or the last thing they do before bed.
So, take a look around the house — is there an empty composition book or notebook you can put together? Kids love their electronic devices, but I would only use them as an absolute last resort. You can make up the topics, but try to make them as open-ended as possible or add a “Why?” at the end. Of course, keep topics appropriate for your child’s age and interests. Below are a bunch of journal topic suggestions to get you thinking! But to review just a few of the benefits of journaling for your child…
Journaling can:
- Clarify their thoughts and feelings
- Help them know themselves better
- Reduce their stress
- Give you insight into how they are dealing with our current situation.
BONUS: Here’s a great resource of journaling prompts for both you and your child to practice mindfulness. If that word sounds scary or unfamiliar, mindfulness just means that you’re practicing narrowing your focus and sharpening your attention, which is obviously so helpful for children!
Elementary School
List of things that make me happy.
I wish I knew more about __________ because….
What is something that is important to my family?
When it comes to schoolwork, what has been your favorite thing you learned?
My favorite part of last week was…
Three things I’d like to talk about.
If I could rename the colors of crayons…
What is my favorite dessert and why?
Use your creativity to describe and draw a new creature or animal.
If my dog or cat could talk, it would say things like…
I was proud when I __________
Five things I’m good at are…
If a genie granted me three wishes…
What would you choose if you were in charge of the weather?
My favorite holiday is…
Middle School
What would happen if you found gold in your backyard?
If animals could talk, what questions would you like to ask them?
Who would you be if you could have been someone in history? Why?
I taught someone how to…
You can only take 3 people with you on a trip around the world, who would you take?
If you could give any gift in the world, what would you give and to whom?
The house was so quiet, but then I heard…
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Let’s say you received any sum of money as a gift. What would you do with it?
Did you ever catch fireflies? Crickets? Frogs? Snakes? Why/why not?
What was your most difficult or most joyous life experience?
List one of your pet peeves and write about why it annoys you.
What is something that you appreciate about your parents? Why?
Write about a window you broke or something valuable you lost.
What would happen if it suddenly started raining spaghetti and meatballs?
High School
Describe the perfect date.
What is courage? What is the most courageous thing you have done?
Describe a hero. It can be either someone you know or simply qualities of a hero.
What is your favorite activity? Who do you do it with? Why do you think you enjoy it?
Write about a good book you’ve read recently.
What will you do differently when you’re a parent? Why?
Do you spend too much time with electronic devices? Why/why not?
What do you think should have or should NOT have been invented and why?
List one major world problem and how you think we should solve it.
Do you think that there is or ever was life on another planet?
What is the most important issue facing teens your age today?
Were you ever given a responsibility that you couldn’t handle?
Describe the best concert you ever attended.
Write about a time you tried to help and ended up making things worse.
Did you ever break an important promise?
Write about moving to another city or neighborhood or house.
Did you ever meet a famous person? Interact with them on social media?
Describe a car or bicycle accident you were in.
If you could spend a day spent in another country, which would you choose? Why?
Describe a time that you outsmarted someone.
Write about going shopping for new clothes.
Did you ever turn someone in or tell on someone and feel bad about it later?
Was there a time your parents embarrassed you?
Can you remember a time you gave someone good advice? What was it?
Ellen Pober Rittberg is the mother of three. She had three children in three years and she spent 13 years representing young people as an attorney. Both of these experiences have given her insight into the lives of young people which led to writing 35 Things Your Teen Won’t Tell You, So I Will.
“I wrote this book as a message to parents that you can do this,” says Rittberg. “I think that it is probably the hardest time to be raising a teen. There are threats to their safety, head-spinning technological advances, they are encouraged to dress provocatively by celebrities who they see dressing provocatively, and peers are more important to them than family. The book is really a form of cheerleading in an informed, honest and positive way.”
Rittberg believes the biggest mistake parents can make is to trust their teen all the time.
She cautions parents that in spite of the fact that their young person seems really smart, their judgment is defective. Shes says they will make poor decisions because they are adults in the making.
“35 Things Your Teen Won’t Tell You, So I Will is the manual I wish I had had when I was raising my teens,” Rittberg says. “I didn’t want to be preached to and I didn’t want to read clinical pieces written by educators, psychologists or medical doctors. I wanted to know the practical do’s and don’ts, the big mistakes to avoid, what to do when you are at the end of your rope and ways to enjoy the challenge of raising teens.”
Rittberg encourages parents to be open to the fact that they can learn to be a better parent.
“When I was pregnant with my first child, I read a ton of books because I didn’t know how to parent,” Rittberg recalls. “We need to continue exposing ourselves to information that will help us be better parents. Parents also need to consider the values they want to impart to their children and how they will be intentional about doing it.”
Here are a few of the 35 things Rittberg wants you to know about when your kids won’t tell you things:
- You shouldn’t be your child’s best friend. We have a role as parents to be responsible and reliable. If you act like a teenager, your teen won’t respect you.
- Your child needs meaningful work. Anything that encourages a healthy work ethic and sense of family duty is a good thing.
- To know your teen’s friends is to know your teen. If you want to know what your teen is up to, get to know their friends. Make your house a welcoming place. You have to be there when they are there.
- A parent should not buy a child a car. There are large consequences to buying your child a car. The largest is that the child who doesn’t earn a significant portion of the car will likely total it soon after getting it. When they have worked for it they will take better care of it.
- Know your child’s school. School officials should know your face, what you do and that you want to help.
- Curfews are good. As the old saying goes, nothing good happens after midnight!
“Parenting teens is challenging, but you can do it and be good at it,” Rittberg says.
Parents and teens can have a mind-boggling relationship.
One minute they are yelling things like:
“I hate you!”
“Don’t speak to me.”
“Nobody else’s parents do that.”
The next minute you are holding their head while they are sick, they ask you to borrow the car or they want to snuggle up next to you on the couch. It’s enough to make your head spin and cause you to question, “Is this the same kid who said he never wanted to see me again minutes ago?”
Parenting teens is not for the faint of heart. When parents who are currently raising teens compare notes with those who have lived to tell about it, you might think there really is a universal playbook teens use to make parents question their sanity. At any given moment, you may even wish you could ground your teenager for life. BUT, that would defeat the whole purpose of adolescence.
Adolescence is when children learn the skills and strategies of adults and that takes time and patience. But honestly, the process can be painful for the whole family.
Consider these things:
- Parenting experts say that one of the reasons adolescence is so challenging is that parents often don’t recognize the strongest needs of their teen.
- Parents look into their teen’s world through adult eyes and needs. They tend to miss all of the change and internal conflict their teen is experiencing in continuing to have their needs for belonging, freedom, power and fun met.
- Parents need to feel in control whereas their adolescent is competing for his freedom.
- Both parent and teen have well-developed strategies for getting their needs met. These differing needs and strategies often intensify to the point that the relationship between parent and child becomes strained.
During adolescence, kids needs you more than ever before. Adults should not assume that once teens begin to look like adults they will automatically start thinking like an adult, relating like mature adults and making responsible decisions.
If you are leading an adolescent into mature adulthood, here are a few things to consider:
- Remember your own teenage struggles.
- Don’t panic. It is important not to let your fears control you.
- Don’t overreact. Most teens say they do not open up to their parents because they tend to overreact.
- Make sure to handle things in a way that builds your teen up versus tearing them down.
- Take time to enter your teen’s world – spend time with them, listen to their music, get to know their friends.
- Provide direction according to their needs… not yours.
- Understand that teens don’t want you to fix it for them. They want you to listen to them. A teen’s self-confidence is built through learning to problem solve and come up with reasonable solutions.
- Separate the behavior from the teen. Love your teen, but don’t be afraid to deal with unacceptable behavior.
- Develop a support network of parents who have been there, done that.
- Remember, you and your spouse are on the same team.
Raising teenagers is a predictable challenge for most parents. Keep perspective and recognize you will survive. After all, your parents did.
Image from Unpslash.com
I can always tell when my kids are in a Fortnite Battle Royale match by the cheering or jeering I hear blaring from their rooms. I might be hearing the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat, but it is loud and enthusiastic. If you have a child who plays video games, they are probably playing Fortnite, too, (or soon will be) as the Fortnite craze shows no signs of slowing down.
When it comes to video games I typically have two concerns.
Is this particular game and its content something I want my child playing, and then more generally, how much time (and money) should my child spend playing video games? It’s worth noting that good, caring, involved parents can come to different conclusions – and that’s okay.
As far as content goes, Fortnite, put out by Epic Games, has been rated for 11 year olds and up. The most popular game mode is Battle Royale, which involves up to 100 online players fighting to the death to be the last player standing on an island with various structures and topography. Eliminating the other 99 players involves weapons and violence, but I would describe it as cartoon violence as opposed to bloody, realistic violence.
One thing I really like about Fortnite is that it requires creativity to be successful, not just a trigger finger. Quickly building and manipulating the environment to gain an advantage is an essential part of gameplay. Fortnite is a combination of Minecraft and shooter games with several clever twists thrown in that are genuinely fun.
(If you are concerned about the content of any video game, head to YouTube and watch a few gameplay videos that players have uploaded.)
This brings us back to the general question of how much time we want our kids spending with video games – especially since games like Fortnite can quickly become obsessions.
Parents approach this in a variety of ways. During the school year, some parents allow a set amount of time each week and/or only allow gaming on weekends. Hopefully your family has some tech-free times set aside for reading and playing outside, not to mention structured time set aside for homework and chores. Gaming time might vary during holiday and summer breaks.
Make whatever the latest video game craze is work for you! Parents can leverage video games in many creative ways. For example, I try to get a ton of extra work done around my house so the kids can earn money for in-game purchases. My child’s behavior and attitude may earn them more or less playing time. And here’s one of my personal favorites as a former English teacher: “I’ll match your reading time with Fortnite time minute for minute!”
Perhaps the absolute best leveraging of your child’s Fortnite obsession is to use it to spend time together, either joining in or watching them play. Game on!
Image from Unsplash.com
Lots of celebrity moms go out on the town and party with their famous kids and be their teen’s best friend. But while some teens might think it sounds really cool that a mom would party with them, most young people say they don’t want their parents acting like they do.
According to Dr. Kevin Leman, author of Adolescence Isn’t Terminal, It Just Feels Like It,some parents believe they need to become their teen’s best friend in order to navigate the teen years.
Many parents believe that teenagers know enough to make good decisions with little or no guidance from their parents. However, brain research has shown strong evidence that when it comes to maturity, control and organization, that’s just not the case. In reality, all key parts of the brain related to emotions, judgment and thinking ahead don’t finish forming until the mid-20s. This means teens definitely need their parents actively involved in their lives.
“Sometimes as the parent you have to make decisions that will not be popular with your teen, but are in their best interest,” says Leman.
Teens do not want their parents to act like them, talk like them or dress like them, either. Despite grunts, attitude and carrying on, young people do want you to act like their parent.
“Kids who have parents who try to act, look and talk like teenagers tell me that they feel very self-conscious and embarrassed when their moms or dads attempt to be teenagers,” Leman says.
If you really want to be your teen’s best friend, here’s what Leman suggests:
- Make your home the center of activity. Instead of your child always being somewhere else, make your home the place they want to be with their friends.
- Listen to your teen when he or she is ready to talk. Being approachable is the key, even if it is 1 a.m. and you go to bed at 10 p.m. This gives you a chance to continue to build a close relationship in the midst of your child’s growing independence.
- Be an imperfect parent. It isn’t about you being perfect. Admit your mistakes and don’t be afraid to say, “I am sorry.” Share stories about when you were a teen. Be real.
- Spend time with your teen. Make it a point to notice what they do well. Be approachable. Guard against becoming a critical parent who only notices mistakes and weaknesses. Be REAL with your teens: Real, Encouraging, Affirming, and Loving.
- Expect the best from them. Keep your standards realistic. Expect them to make good choices. Research shows that daughters with affirming fathers are most likely to marry a guy with those qualities.
- Don’t snowplow the roads of life for your teen. When they fail, let them experience the consequences. There is no better time for them to fail than when they are at home around people who love them. You can actually help them get back on their feet.
- Love and respect your mate. Young people learn how to treat their future spouse by watching you. Model the behavior you want your children to practice when they are married and have children of their own.
- Never beat or bully your child into submission. Take time to think about what you will say or do and the outcomes you are looking for. Shepherds use their rod to guide their sheep, not to beat them into submission. As parents, our role is to guide our children and teach them how to live as productive citizens.
- Pray for them daily. The teenage years can be very challenging. Make sure your child knows you are on their team and you love them unconditionally.
“Your goal as a parent is to help your children become all that they can be,” Leman says. “The best way to steer our kids through the stage of adolescence is to know ahead of time what type of children we want to raise.”
If you live with a teenager, one thing is certain: their emotions change as often as the weather or their clothes. They ascend to the heights of joy one day, the depths of teenage despair, the next. It can seem like there are a lot of warning signs in your teen, but how can you be sure?
The teen years are a time to explore new ideas, new attitudes and new feelings. Since a certain amount of unpredictability is normal, how can you tell if your teenager’s emotional swings are beyond the normal ups and downs of adolescence?
Although it’s not always possible to know what goes too far, there are some things you can look for in the process.
Here’s a warning-sign checklist from the Minirth-Meier psychiatric organization that can help you:
- Deterioration of grades;
- Chronic truancy;
- Chronic school failure;
- Mood swings;
- General Apathy;
- Drug/alcohol use;
- Blatant sexual behavior;
- Verbal or physical displays;
- Withdrawal or feeling of hopelessness;
- Sleeplessness, fatigue;
- Low self-esteem;
- Sadness, crying;
- Secretive;
- Suicidal thoughts, unexplained accidents;
- Death of significant person;
- Interest in the occult;
- Poor impulse control;
- Family history of substance abuse or mental illness;
- Extreme change in appearance or friends; and/or
- Inability to cope with routine matters/relationships.
Jay Strack suggests that a parent’s first response to these signs of trouble is crucial. He’s the author of Good Kids Who Do Bad Things.
“Overreacting parents often drive kids into an emotional shell from which they are reluctant to venture. Underreacting parents send a message to their kids that says, ‘I just don’t care.’ Either response can be devastating when the individual loses his emotional balance,” he writes.
Strack says it is important to differentiate between the normal pressure of life and crisis situations.
If your teen is demonstrating a number of the warning signs, here are several action steps you can use:
- First, don’t panic. “This is no time to lose control of yourself,” Strack says. “A calm demeanor and a listening ear are crucial.”
- Next, act quickly. Strack writes that parents should not sit around “hoping the problem will solve itself or just go away. Timing is crucial in a crisis.”
- Then, seek advice. Seek the advice of those who can really help, like counselors, pastors and teachers. You may need lawyers, police and other officials, depending on the situation.
- Always stick to the main issues. “While your teenager may have several areas in which he needs improvement (e.g., self-acceptance, personal discipline, study habits, etc.), it’s important to stick with the major issues of the crisis until they are resolved,” Strack says. “Only then will the teenager be clear-headed enough to focus on the other issues in his life.”
- Finally, strike a balance. Strack’s fifth guideline is important. Teens need to know that you love and cherish them, despite their behavior.
“At the same time,” Strack says, “you will need to balance love with discipline when necessary so that your teenager doesn’t just run over you.”
Most parents have probably thought they couldn’t wait until their kids got older so parenting would be easier. But those currently parenting adolescents might have a few words to say about it. You know, the idea of things being easier as the tribe gets older.
“I have three sons, two of whom are teens. I would say our parenting efforts have ramped up substantially with our teen boys,” says Gena Ellis. “You think because they can feed and clothe themselves, shower without supervision and they seem more independent that you can back off. But really, the teen years almost require more parenting, just in a different way.”
When children are young the focus is on teaching them right from wrong, how to be polite and what it means to share along with learning to count, and know their colors. As children mature things get a bit more complicated as parents realize the decisions made during these formative years will impact them in the future.
“In the early years, I think both my husband and I were under the impression that the younger years would be the most intensive for us as parents,” Ellis says. “Now that we have moved on, we realize that parenting adolescents is no less intense and that our boys still need us actively involved in their lives. Not overly-involved, but involved enough that we can help them continue to grow and learn what it means to be an independent adult. We are very clear that adolescence is no time to take a back seat when it comes to the parenting journey.”
When Ellis’ oldest son forgot to turn in a paper, her first reaction was to pick up the phone and call his teacher to explain that he had been at band rehearsals all week until late in the evening. As a result, he was running behind on his school work. Instead of doing that she asked her son about the situation. He told her he had already spoken with his teacher and explained the situation. They worked something out and mom never had to get involved.
“I was very proud of my son,” Ellis says. “It made me know he has been paying attention to all we have been teaching and modeling for him when it comes to taking responsibility and being accountable. What he learned from this experience was far more powerful that if I had intervened in the situation.”
Here are a few thoughts on parenting adolescents:
- Make sure you are handling things in a way that builds up your teen versus tearing them down.
- Provide direction according to their needs, not yours.
- Understand your teen doesn’t want you to fix it for them. They want you to listen.
- Learning to problem solve and coming up with reasonable solutions builds a teen’s self-confidence. The more they can do this in a supportive home environment, the better off they’ll be in the real world.
- Keep your expectations realistic.
- Spend time with your teen. They may act prickly like they don’t want you around. Don’t misinterpret their behavior.
“When they are little, children need you in front leading,” Ellis says. “When they are older they need you behind them, encouraging them.”If you think parenting gets easier as your kids get older, you might want to think again. Here are some helpful tips for the teen and preteen years.
Image from Unsplash.com
Parents of graduating seniors have probably heard more than once, “I can’t wait until I don’t have to listen to your rules and I can do whatever I want.”
Most seniors are giddy over the idea of heading off to college. They are eager to choose their own bedtime, where they keep their things and how late they stay out. As launching time approaches, many of these seniors who were super-confident at graduation start questioning themselves and their next steps after graduation: What if I chose the wrong college? What if I don’t make any friends? What if I am choosing the wrong career track?
Many parents are also experiencing a mixed bag of emotions. They are excited about their teen taking the next step, yet somewhat fearful about their future. Parents realize a big transition is coming and there are still nuggets of wisdom they wish to pass on, yet they don’t have much time to do it. They become clingy at a time when their teen is trying to be more independent. This can make for a very interesting and long summer.
Fortunately, all of this is a natural reaction to graduation.
What can you do to help your graduate successfully leave the nest with confidence?
Here are some tips on next steps after graduation—just for you.
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Just listen. Let them talk about all of the things running through their mind. Try to do this without minimizing their feelings.
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Remind them that they can choose to water seeds of doubt and let the lies grow or they can pluck them out quickly before the roots get too strong.
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A little stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Any new journey will by definition produce anxiety. You can’t help but wonder about this, that and the other. The little bit of anxiety goes a long way to help us perform at our best.
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Remind them that the applicant pools have never been larger than they are now. If they received an acceptance letter, they can rest assured that the institution believes they can handle the work. The letter speaks volumes about the preparedness they bring to the college campus.
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Don’t believe that nobody on the college campus will care. There are many people on campus who want to see their students succeed.
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As a parent, you may be struggling over your child’s next steps after graduation, too. Instead of trying to talk through this with your graduate, seek the wisdom and support of other parents who are already on this journey.
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If you have always done your teen’s laundry, cooked their meals, managed their money and helped them get to school/job on time, STOP. Summer is a great time to learn how to do these things for themselves, since you won’t be accompanying them to college.
