Tag Archive for: parenting motivation

I felt stuck in the grind, like I had spent too many days on wash, rinse, dry and repeat.

My children had also been sick an unbelievable amount of times in just a few short weeks. Life felt like a flood of to do’s and routine rather than a beautiful journey to behold. 

That’s when I realized our day-to-day was focused on a cycle rather than an intentional pattern or building rituals for connection.

As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind

wake up, feed the kids, shuttle them to school, tackle a never-ending to-do list, and repeat. Routines are necessary; they provide structure and stability for children. But what if we shifted our focus from simply checking off tasks to creating moments that truly matter?

Enter rituals—the secret ingredient to building joy, connection, and lasting memories in parenthood.

Unlike routines, which are about efficiency and getting things done, rituals are about meaning. They transform ordinary moments into experiences that children cherish for a lifetime.

Routines serve a functional purpose: brushing teeth before bed, packing lunches, or doing homework at a set time. They keep life organized but are often forgettable. Rituals, on the other hand, carry emotional weight. They turn the mundane into something special and create a sense of belonging.

For example, reading a bedtime story every night is a routine. But adding a special phrase before turning off the light—“I love you to the moon and back”—turns it into a ritual. It becomes a moment of comfort, love, and connection.

Research shows that family rituals contribute to a child’s emotional well-being, identity, and sense of security.

Rituals provide children with something to look forward to, a sense of continuity, and a deeper understanding of their family’s values and traditions.

Dr. Barbara Fiese, a psychologist specializing in family routines and rituals, notes that rituals create emotional imprints that last a lifetime. Kids might not remember every meal they ate growing up, but they will remember Friday night pizza and movie nights, the silly song their dad sang every morning, or the secret handshake they shared with their mom.

You don’t need elaborate plans or grand gestures to make an impact.

Here are a few simple ways to infuse rituals into everyday parenting:

1: Make Mealtime Sacred

Instead of just eating dinner together, add a ritual like sharing “highs and lows” of the day or lighting a candle to mark the start of family time.

2: Celebrate Small Wins

Whether it’s finishing a tough school assignment or making it through a long workweek, establish a tradition of celebrating achievements with ice cream, a dance party, or a simple “cheers” with milk and cookies.

3: Bedtime Connection

Create a special goodnight ritual with a song, a funny joke, or a shared gratitude moment before turning out the lights.

4: Seasonal Traditions

Welcome each season with a unique family activity, like a fall nature walk, a summer lemonade stand, or a winter hot cocoa night.

5: Playful Daily Rituals

Turn school drop-offs into a game by racing to the door, or create a goofy handshake for before and after school.

Parenting isn’t just about getting through the day—it’s about shaping childhoods and strengthening family bonds.

By transforming everyday routines into meaningful rituals, we give our children something truly special: a sense of love, security, and a deep connection to their family.

Years from now, our kids won’t remember the schedules we kept, but they will remember how we made them feel. And that’s the power of rituals over routines.

Lauren Hall is the President and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at [email protected].

How to Stop the Cycle of Parental Burnout

These 5 tips may be just what you need.

I have a confession to make: I’ve been stressed and exhausted many times. I’ve felt burned out and ready to quit, but not from work obligations – from being a parent.

Parenting is tough. It’s demanding. Before our son was born 10 years ago, I recall people telling me everything would change. I don’t remember anyone telling me I’d be taking 2AM walks to stay sane. No one told me there would be days I’d question whether I could continue. The list of things I wish I’d known then is long. 

Parental burnout is a real thing, but don’t get me wrong – I wouldn’t trade being a dad for anything. Researchers Hubert and Aujoulat found that “parental burnout results from situations where exhaustion occurs as a result of being physically and emotionally overwhelmed by one’s parental role.”

If you’ve been a parent for at least a couple of hours, you know that parenting stress is real. But when it consumes you, burnout sets in. There’s hope, though. You can stop the cycle of parental burnout. 

The stress isn’t going anywhere, but there are some healthy ways to lessen the pressure.

Surround yourself with a community.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” 

I never quite understood that until we had our first child. But it’s true. Raising a child isn’t easy. Mine didn’t come with a how-to guide. 

Surround yourself with people who want what’s best for you. Think about grandparents, other parents, or friends who care about your well-being. You need people in your life to help care for your child when you need it and to help you care for yourself. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak or less than. Any person who has raised a child knows the stress involved.

Today’s action:

Text one person and invite them over. Ask them to hold you accountable for taking time for yourself.

Take care of yourself.

When you’re responsible for a little one, it’s easy to put all your energy into making sure you meet their needs. When they get all your energy, there’s nothing left for you. 

Have you ever been on a plane and heard the safety speech? If the airbags are deployed, put yours on before you try to put on someone else’s. That sounds counterintuitive to parenting, but it’s so true. If you don’t care for yourself, you won’t have anything to give. Being a parent is the best reason I’ve ever had to take good care of myself.

Exercise, eat healthy foods, get rest (when you can), or meditate. Will it be easy? No. Is it important? Extremely!

Today’s action:

Put down your phone. Go get a glass of water, and take deep breaths as you drink. Make it your goal to do that three times today. 

Give yourself grace.

You won’t be a perfect parent, and that’s ok! We all mess up. I don’t think I could list all the mistakes I’ve made. As my kids have gotten a little older, I ask them for lots of grace, too. I apologize when I make a mistake. 

Don’t fall into the social media comparison game, either. You may see someone who looks like the perfect parent – but remember, social media usually shows the best moments. You may not see all the tears it took to get that perfect photo.

Today’s action:

Allow yourself to make mistakes. Tell yourself, “My child doesn’t need a perfect parent – they need a present parent.”

Take a break when you need it.

If your child is in childcare or school, take a day off every once in a while to be alone. Enjoy doing what you like to do. Maybe that’s getting outdoors, taking a long bath or chilling with a movie. And don’t feel guilty about it. You have permission to take time for yourself.

Today’s action:

Schedule an hour this week to take a break. Right now, ask your support system to help you make this happen.

Set boundaries. 

Boundaries help to protect your time and your relationships. You may have to say no to some good things. As my children have become more independent, I’ve found that I can say yes to more things I want to do.

Prioritize your well-being and relationships when opportunities come your way.

Today’s action:

Ask, “What have I said yes to that I don’t have margin for?” Then do your best to take that off your list.

Parenting isn’t easy, but you can do it. If you already feel burned out and have nothing left to give, reach out to a professional, coach or counselor. You don’t have to walk this road alone.

Other blogs:

How to Be an Emotionally Safe Parent – First Things First

Can Self-Care Become Selfish? – First Things First

5 Signs You Need Some Alone Time

Sources:

Parental Burnout: When Exhausted Mothers Open Up. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1021. 

Breaking through the loss cycle of burnout: The role of motivation. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 84(2), 268–287.

Beating burnout. Harvard Business Review, 98-101. 

The Cost of Caring Without Self-Care

How to Recover from Burnout and Love Your Life Again

How to Stay Motivated as a Parent

Here are 6 things to help you keep your motivation game strong.

As a parent, it can be tough to feel motivated when there’s so much to do: for your family, work, home, yourself – you name it. It doesn’t really matter what time of year it is – it’s always something. Fall can be a hectic season for moms and dads with all the festivals, gatherings with family and friends, and the holidays looming large. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with everything on your to-do list, or you just feel like you lack enthusiasm right now. 

If that’s where you find yourself as a parent, here are some ways to ignite your motivation as you and your family make the most of this time of year.

1. Remember that it starts with you.

It’s often easier for parents to live out Newton’s First Law of Motion, which states that an object in motion stays in motion. It’s hard to stop when you are overrun with things to do. The thought of slowing down is overwhelming. So we put on a happy and excited face when in reality, we lack energy and motivation. 

You’ve probably heard that “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It’s true! You have to find things that provide energy for you. It’s essential to understand that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. Actually, it allows you to be a better parent.

2. Find ways to have child-free times.

Make time in your schedule to enjoy being alone. You may have to get up early or stay up late. You may have to resort to using the bathroom as an escape. Sometimes I find myself sitting on my back porch enjoying the sound of crickets and cicadas and watching the sun go down. Whatever you have to do, make space for yourself. 

3. Remember your why.

Most parents work hard to raise their children to become productive adults in society. Raising kids is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be times that you are tired. You may feel like nothing is going the way you planned or thought. In those moments, remember your reason. 

4. Find ways to enjoy your parenting journey.

When things are challenging, take time to reminisce. Look through old pictures and videos. Then, create new memories. Work together to find a new favorite dessert recipe and cook it together. Have an impromptu photo shoot. Go for a scenic drive and enjoy nature. Be creative and make it fun.

5. Live in gratitude.

Being a parent is one of the greatest gifts through the big things, little things, easy things, or hard things. An attitude of gratitude demonstrates that we are fortunate to have the opportunity to parent our children. (Not trying to give you anything else on your to-do list, but keeping track of your blessings and expressing thankfulness is actually good for you in so many ways!)

6. Find parenting mentors.

One way to stay motivated is by finding parenting mentors. Think about the people you know who have raised their children and exhibit the attributes you want for your children. Once you identify them, invite them out for coffee and ask them, “How did you do it?” Listen for tips that you can incorporate into your parenting. 

Parenting is easy. (Said no one EVER.) HAA! Parenting is one of the hardest things you will ever do. There will be times when you feel like you have nothing to give. Many of us have felt the same way, so believe me when I say you are not alone. Feel. What. You. Feel. Then find that drive from deep inside to help you get back on track so you can be a motivated parent. You are exactly what your children need.