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what to do when you aren’t crazy about your future in-laws
When you marry the love of your life, they bring so many different things to the table for the two of you to share. Their personality, adoration for you, commitment, maybe some furniture or experience with things you don’t know how to do. And don’t get me wrong—this sounds lovely (and it is…) until one of the things they bring to the table are in-laws. If you’re honest, it’s possible you aren’t crazy about your future in-laws, to put it politely. In fact, you’ve decided what you want to bring to the table in your relationship is an extra table 😡 … one that doesn’t always have seats for the future in-laws… but that’s not really the solution. (And don’t assume that your fiancé doesn’t have any issues with YOUR parents.)
It’s okay to not be fond of your fiancé’s parents, but you also have to be okay with them being a part of your lives in some capacity. You can’t marry your fiancé without also understanding you are essentially marrying into their family. So let’s put together a game plan so when the visits begin, you won’t be nervous to pull up a chair to the table!
Here’s some things you can do:
1. Talk about your concern with your fiancé.
If it hasn’t come up already, be honest with your fiancé about your concerns and why you feel they’re important.
2. Set Boundaries Early-On.
Prepare yourselves and have a plan in place.
3. Location, location, location.
If you both know your future in-laws are the type to drop by, overstay their welcome, or cross boundaries like finish lines, then it may be a sign to move somewhere that makes it less of a possibility.
how to establish trust in marriage from the start
What’s the difference between a loving, warm marriage and one full of friction and conflict? Trust. There are probably many items on your checklist for having a strong marriage. If there’s one that ought to be at the top of the list, it’s trust.
Here’s how you can establish trust from the start:
1. Trust is built over time.
Trust is built through moments that confirm for your spouse that you are who they think you are.
2. History matters.
You want your spouse to have a fair opportunity to be trusted and not be the victim of your past experiences with other people.
3. Believe your spouse’s actions.
Many people have trusted others in spite of all the evidence showing that they are not trustworthy.
4. Be open and honest about everything.
This includes the big stuff: family, money, in-laws, parenting, the future, and sex.
5. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Be willing to hold each other accountable for your words and actions.
6. Admit mistakes.
Don’t let pride get in the way. Trust will not stand if built on the premise of perfection.
7. Consider the effects decisions will have on your marriage.
Nearly everything you do will affect both you and your spouse.
Trust will grow if you’re consistent in your words and actions.