July 23, 2021
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DADS! Do you do these 10 things?
We live in a society that often downplays and minimizes the role that fathers play in the lives of their children. Mothers are often viewed as a child’s “primary caregiver” and dads are relegated to the sidelines. Sadly, many mothers reinforce this idea in a number of ways, and sadder still, many fathers go right along with it. Not good.
This idea flies in the face of what all the current science and research says about the importance of fathers from a child’s birth onward. Dads matter. In fact, they often provide things that mom can’t provide.
There are 10 specific things that every dad can do to guide his child to be a successful adult. Check out what they are in our FREE E-book 👇
how to feel confident as a new mom
It is completely normal to have a lack of confidence in something you’ve never done before. Even if you’ve babysat or worked with kids, motherhood is a whole new ballgame. It’s the difference between sitting in the stands, maybe catching a fly ball every once in a while, and being up to bat in a sport you barely know the rules to. So you may not be surprised when I say this but… You won’t feel confident as a new mom. Hear me out: You CAN absolutely fake it ’til you make it. It’s gonna take time… but you WILL make it. You’ll find your confidence when your decisions yield positive outcomes. Here are a few ways to get there:
Shift Your Mindset and Become What You Believe
- Think about something you did well as a mom today. But don’t just notice it; really feel it too.
- Take that thought and dwell on all the goodness in it for at least 20 seconds. (No fleeting thoughts here! And absolutely NO BUTS, unless, of course, your happy thought is that you cleaned a poopy butt really well…) This gives your brain time to fire those neurons and hardwire that belief into your brain.
- Let the confidence boost commence.
Balance Trusting Your Intuition and Searching for Info
- Think of an aspect of parenting that you’re second-guessing yourself in.
- Take some time to really look into what research says.
- Take into account what works for YOUR unique situation. It may not feel right or align with your values, or it could add more stress to your family dynamic. That’s why considering what your intuition says is crucial.
- Find a balance between the two and choose the best solution for YOU. (Not your mom, or friend, or pediatrician, or… you get my point.)
Stop Comparing Everything
- Create a mama-mantra that will help you overcome those moments when you’re being held captive by comparison. Something like, “I am enough,” or “A bad day does not make me a bad mom,” or “I’m still learning, and that’s okay.” Something short and easy to remember on the fly.
- Write it down on a Post-it note and stick it on your bathroom mirror for a daily reminder to repeat it often, in good and bad times.
- In moments of stress, simply repeat your mama-mantra and you’ll feel your heart rate slowing, your breathing becoming steady, and your confidence building up.
Lean on Another Supportive Mama Who Gets You
- Think about a mama who just gets you and accepts you for who you are.
- Go ahead and send her a quick text thanking her for being so supportive. If she doesn’t already know, tell her how you’ve been struggling with a lack of self-confidence in this season of life.
- Ask if she has any tried and true suggestions for your specific situation.
- Lean on her. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If she’s a true friend, she’ll be honored to guide you through the trenches.
Q: Which planet has the most gravity?
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Reggie Madison, a husband, dad of 7 (Yes, you read that right— he and his wife are wayyy outnumbered!), and the Program Director here at First Things First! Take a peek at his recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:
🎲Game: The Pit is the latest game to hit our family table. What kid doesn’t love a little chaos, some noise, and a real chance to beat their parents at a game.
👨👧Father/Daughter Cheerleading Duo is a strong father/daughter relationship that is like gold. This inspirational documentary has excitement, vulnerability, an unbreakable bond, and stunts that’ll scare you to see a baby doing.
📃Kids, Media and Emotions discusses how parents of toddlers wrestle with the guilt of giving them a digital screen to calm them down in an intense situation from time to time. This article gives some perspective to help parents understand the emotional effects of screens when mixed with emotional situations.
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