establish trust with your future spouse from the start

What’s the difference between a loving, warm marriage and one full of friction and conflict? Trust. There are probably many items on your checklist for having a strong future marriage. If there’s one that ought to be at the top of the list, it’s trust.

So, how can you establish trust in your relationship?

🧡 Trust is built over time.

Trust is built through moments that confirm for your fiancé that you are who they think you are. How you respond when someone speaks negatively about your relationship or how you care for each other during a difficult time will either confirm or cause questions about who you are.

🧡 History matters.

You want your fiancé to have a fair opportunity to be trusted and not be the victim of your past experiences with other people. However, it’s important to be aware that your past is not to be forgotten but to be used as a learning experience. Talking through your ability to trust helps you develop clear expectations.

🧡 Believe your partner’s actions.

There’s a saying, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them.” When dating, it’s easy to create a mental image of what you think your future spouse will be like once you’re married. This can cause you to ignore the behaviors that give a more accurate picture of each other.

strengthen your friendships

Long before our homes had living rooms and dens; even before they had sitting rooms or drawing rooms, most houses had a room called a parlor.

The purpose of the parlor was to have a room set apart for simple chitchat. Sliding doors even allowed the parlor to be cut off from the rest of the house for intimate, private conversations.

We used to think conversations were so vital that we had a room in our home for them. We used to value and prioritize conversations so highly that we built a particular room in our homes which was basically named “to speak.”

Times have changed…

📲Face-to-face, in-person conversations are becoming more infrequent. We text, group chat, self-checkout, and app our way through our day. I’m genuinely expecting the phrase “keep in touch” to evolve into “keep in text.” (How is that not a thing yet?)

📵 Technology isn’t the problem. In fact, technology can allow us to stay connected to people in ways far superior to the best parlor. We do need some balance, though. There’s just something about face-to-face conversation that doesn’t translate into ones and zeros on our smartphones. The mediums we use to communicate dictate how we communicate. We need to revisit the lost art of conversation…