I’ll admit that I’m kind of a news junkie. I want to hear the latest about COVID-19 as well as everything else that is going on. I hear the numbers, listen to interviews with Dr. Fauci, Dr. Birx and others. I see the never-ending lines of cars waiting to pick up food at food banks. I hear about job loss, farmers throwing out crops because they have nowhere to send them, people who are quarantining by themselves and are lonely, marriages and families struggling because they are spending so much time together and more. There is no doubt that right now, feelings of depression and COVID-19 are related.

Day after day I am filling my mind with all of this and I realize, the intensity of this is impacting me in so many ways and we are nowhere near the end. Honestly, it’s straight-up depressing and I am mentally feeling the impact of it all.

Honestly, it’s hard for any of us to go through the level of emotional, social and financial trauma we are experiencing and not be impacted.

The environmental and adjustment stress we are all feeling can be overwhelming, so much so that some of us may find ourselves in a place we’ve never been before when it comes to our mental health. 

You may also be feeling a bit different these days and wondering what in the heck is going on. Maybe it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning, your energy level is non-existent, you aren’t hungry or you eat all the time, your nerves seem frazzled or it’s hard to think clearly because your brain feels like it’s in a fog. Believe it or not, all of these things are normal responses to a severe crisis, which is what we are in the middle of. The thing we have to ask ourselves is, what can I do to feel better? 

How about trying these things out?

9 Tips to Improve Your Well-Being

  • Go for a walk or get some other type of exercise for self-care. Doing some sort of physical activity on a daily basis can make a major difference in the way you feel and function. There are lots of free workout apps and online options.
  • Spend time in the sun soaking in vitamin D. This is one of the most powerful ways to boost your mood. The fresh air will be good for you, too.
  • Get yourself on a schedule. Even though you may not be working or leaving the house, staying on your normal sleep schedule, getting up in the morning, taking a shower, getting dressed, eating at consistent times and then doing something constructive can help your brain function better. 
  • Phone a friend. While we need to physically distance ourselves from others, socially isolating ourselves is not a good thing. Technology allows us to connect with the ones we love face to face. Talking with neighbors across the fence or street can also be helpful. We are made for relationships and need them to thrive.
  • Watch movies or shows that are funny and make you laugh. Believe it or not, laughter can actually protect you from the damaging effects of stress and help you feel better. Humor helps us release anger, have hope, and be more focused and alert.
  • Watch what you eat and drink. Do your best to eat balanced meals. Try to avoid overeating or not eating enough. That can be difficult given the circumstances, but fresh/frozen fruit and vegetables are great choices if you can buy them. Drinking water has tons of health benefits, too.
  • Limit your alcohol, sugar, caffeine, and news intake. If you are struggling with feelings of depression and anxiety, these things can make you feel worse.
  • Make time to journal. Writing down your feelings, fears, thoughts and emotions can help you take control of all that is running through your head. Sometimes what appears overwhelming in your mind, doesn’t seem so much so when you actually look at it on paper.
  • Ask for help.* Don’t let pride or fear keep you from seeking help to get past this moment in time. What we are going through is hard. If you are having trouble navigating through this time, ask for what you need. Plenty of doctors and counselors are seeing people through Zoom and other ways. 

This Is Not Easy!

It’s normal for all of us to be feeling some ways about this COVID-19 thing. It is highly likely that none of us will come through this unscathed in some way. If you get to a place or you are already in a place where how you are feeling is impacting your ability to function and accomplish simple daily tasks, that’s when you know it’s time to get some help. 

*Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Hotline: 800-662-HELP (4357); National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255)

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The last 30 days of quarantine have been interesting to say the least. Making the adjustment to working from home. All in-person meetings moved to virtual. No evening meetings or events. Barely driving my car. Walking the neighborhood more. Seeing people that I’ve never seen before walk through our neighborhood. Lots of family time, but no hugging or handshakes when you encounter friends. Standing six feet apart to have conversations. Cooking more. No dining in, always carry-out or drive-through. Virtual school. Someone coughs or sneezes in close proximity and people give them dirty looks. Life as we know it has changed during COVID-19. Of course, the big question on everyone’s mind is, “What will life after quarantine be like?”

Even though people don’t like being forced into anything, the massive push on the brakes gave people no choice but to slow down.

I’ve had friends tell me that it’s been a mixed blessing. Trying to work, school, parent and care for others with no support from other family members or friends has been challenging. Yet, the family time has been incredible. They’ve also had time to do many of the things they previously looked at and said, “If I had the time, I would…” 

The chaos that existed around getting children to sports practices, dance or music lessons or any other event was wiped right off the calendar. As a result, many wonder if they will allow themselves to go back to the frenetic pace they kept prior to sheltering in place.

Shockingly, some teens have even said they will never take for granted getting to be face to face with their friends again. And we thought all they really cared about was their screens.

So, what will people keep “intentionally” doing after quarantine is over?

In an informal survey, I asked people how they think their life after quarantine will intentionally be different. Here are some of the things they said:

  • I will appreciate being in people’s presence more and giving and receiving hugs.
  • I believe I will be more compassionate and more eager to remind others of the need for grace, mercy and love.
  • Less kids’ activities, keeping game and campfire nights.
  • A good deal more cautious about public spaces and high-touch surfaces, and probably a bit more stand-off-ish in large groups of people, at least until this has a better and more proven treatment and ultimately a vaccine. But I’m certainly not going to put my life on hold or hole up in my home forever, either.
  • I don’t think people will see me as much anymore. I am enjoying the slower pace, family time and being able to spend time at home. No more running myself crazy to attend a million functions, meetings, etc. Spending more time just living.
  • We run so hard. All the classes. All the social things… it’s been wonderful being at home. Even though the girls are still doing Zoom Girl Scouts/community and social meetings/dance classes, it doesn’t seem their hearts are in it. They get upset when it’s time to separate from the family and go to a class in their room. We’ve all enjoyed this!
  • I will be thankful for many, many freedoms I took for granted.
  • I’ll be cooking more for sure. And I think we’ve all come to realize we don’t need a ton of extra things to do! The girls will definitely come out of this as germaphobes and I will take more precautions socially, too.
  • Probably continue large tipping when we eat out.

Time will tell how different life after quarantine will be, whether it’s because we choose to be intentional or whether it’s because others make changes that affect our normal way of life. One thing is for sure: We’ve all had the opportunity to see, hear and taste what simpler feels like. Many prefer it. But I wonder if we will be strong enough or brave enough to stick to it over time.

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Every family in America is probably blessed with some members who are taking the CDC guidelines for COVID-19 very seriously and some who are taking them with a grain of salt. Often, those on opposing sides of the fence are looking down their nose at those who disagree with them. And disagreements about COVID-19 can start to affect the relationship if each wonders when the others are going to wake up and realize their perspective is the correct one.

There is a ton of information out there. From the mainstream news, to opinion papers, talk shows, Dr. Fauci, the CDC and of course we can’t forget social media, it’s almost like information overload. And, who you choose to listen to often determines your behavior.

Whether you’re intensely practicing social distancing or think it’s a massive overreaction, one thing’s for sure – how you have disagreements about COVID-19 with the ones you love will impact your relationship long after COVID-19 is no longer a concern.

At some point, many have figured out that it’s going to be complicated doing life together if you can’t agree on this issue. There is some degree of truth in that, but when have all members of a family ever seen everything exactly the same way?

We can spend our time arguing about who’s right and who’s wrong, which is unlikely to have a productive outcome. Or, we can figure out how to move forward while having differing points of view.

At the core of what many are dealing with is fear. Fear of getting the virus because people around you are not social distancing or following CDC guidelines. Fear of infecting someone else. Being afraid of doing the wrong thing. Fear of the government taking your rights away. Fear of losing a business. Fearing economic collapse. And the list goes on.

So, what do you do?

Talk about it. You may have family members who you believe are not handling things the way they need to. If that’s the case, you can choose to have a conversation with them. How you approach them really matters. If you are judgmental and condescending, it’s likely that the conversation won’t go well.  It’s probably a given that you feel strongly about your beliefs and you want those you love to get with the program. But the reality is, they may never be on the same page with you.

Case in point – your aging parents don’t want you telling them what to do. Or, at the opposite end of the spectrum, your college student does not want you telling them what to do. All the disagreements about COVID-19 needs to be talked about!

If all of you are living under the same roof, have a family meeting. Talk about how the entire family will work as a team to keep every member of the household safe. You don’t all have to agree. In fact, you may have to agree to disagree, yet all find a way to do what is best for the greater good.

Acknowledge what you have control over. If your parents are living hours away from you, what they do is beyond your control. You can make recommendations, but at the end of the day, they are going to do what they want to do. Can you love them anyway?

One thing that is within your control is your attitude. You could walk around angry all day because people are responding in a way you believe is irresponsible. On the other hand, you could do what you need to do to keep yourself safe and not seek to be responsible for other people’s behavior.

For example, you are trying to keep your family healthy and safe and your neighbor decides to have a party for 50 people in their front yard. You could choose to confront them, but that would probably create more angst on your part. It’s pretty likely that everybody is feeling a fair amount of tension, so why create more? Going on a walk away from the party, heading to the backyard to play or staying inside might actually help decrease your anxiety.

Be careful about being quick to judge. Things may not always be as they appear.  Someone leaving the grocery store with a lot of toilet paper and other items could at first glance be seen as hoarding much-needed supplies. In reality, the person may be shopping for several older people in their neighborhood. 

Show respect. At the end of the day, respect really matters. Even though you may have differing perspectives on the Coronavirus, being able to share, listen and seek to understand each other’s views goes a long way toward maintaining a healthy relationship over the long term.

It is our differences that make this world a rich place – even disagreements about COVID-19. Instead of trying to convince others that your way is the only way, treat them with the same respect you’d like to receive. Although you may not see eye-to-eye, disagreement doesn’t have to damage or destroy your closest relationships.

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After multiple weeks of being told we need to stay home, a lot of folks’ nerves are frayed (parents in particular). Life might have been complicated before—keeping up with schedules, work and home. Now, things seem 10 times more complicated. Everybody is under the same roof all the time with nowhere to go for a break. Many parents are silently asking how long they can actually survive social distancing and this COVID-19 crisis with their family relationships (and their sanity) intact. 

It’s true that most of us aren’t accustomed to spending so much time together. Things that you didn’t even know got on your nerves—well, now you know. And, some of them are seemingly little things. Maybe it’s the way someone chews their food, the amount of dirty laundry, or the constant questions without answers. Or maybe it’s the way your perfectly capable kids seem so totally dependent on you to do everything.

Honestly, it’s enough to make a parent ask, “Where do I go to resign?”

Before you turn in your notice, here are some things that might be helpful to consider. 

Emotions are running high for everyone. There’s tension in the air and we feel it even if we don’t acknowledge it. It has its way of oozing out of people through petty bickering, short fuses, tears and an abundance of energy. The close proximity to others in your home may feel like someone has you in a stranglehold. 

Even if you’re in pretty close quarters, there are some things you can do to help your family avoid unhealthy behavior during social distancing.

Recognize that your children are taking their cues from you. If you’re really struggling with all that’s going on, find ways to process your thoughts and best next steps. Even if things are upside down, when you know the next steps you’ll take, your children will follow your lead. Your children need to know that you’re working to ensure they are well cared for. This provides comfort and security, especially in times of uncertainty. It’s ok if you don’t know all the answers. Having rules, rituals, consistency and structure in place helps everyone to know what to expect and provides freedom within healthy boundaries.

Speaking of boundaries, establishing boundaries is helpful. It lets people know where the fence lines are for your family. If you haven’t had a family meeting to discuss what this looks like, now is a really good time to do that. Items up for discussion include:

  • How will household chores get done?
  • With whom outside of immediate family will we engage during this time of social distancing?
  • What time is quiet time in the house? (could be until a certain time in the morning, a period of time in the middle of the day or a time at the end of the day)
  • Where and for how long are people using screens? (for work and for leisure)
  • Is there unlimited access to the kitchen and food?

Getting in the groove of functioning as a team will help your family now. It will serve them well in the future, too.

Even though your family is all together, don’t assume they’ll automatically talk about the thoughts and feelings that are rolling around in their head. This is a scary time for everybody. Establishing a quick daily check-in makes it possible for you to share information and answer questions. It’s also a good chance to talk about the flow of this particular day and address concerns or misinformation anyone may have.

With everyone under one roof, establishing times when you expect people to be in their own space away from everybody else can help. If your children share a bedroom, perhaps there’s another location one of them could be. The goal is for people to have a break from being on top of each other. It can be as simple as going outdoors when the weather is nice. Maybe it means taking a long, hot shower or a walk in the rain. It may even help to get up earlier or stay up a little later to have time alone.

What Each Person in Your Family Needs to Know

According to the authors of the Survival Skills for Healthy Families program, each person in the family needs to know:

  • How to speak up and say what they need. The ability to say what you want helps others to know what you’re thinking and feeling. It also opens the door for understanding.
  • How to listen. As a listener, we can choose to seek connection, be respectful and look for understanding. Or, we can react, fight and argue. 
  • How to cooperate. Teach your children how to find balance between their needs and the needs of other family members.

Realize that there’s a time to talk and time to listen. Everyone wants to feel heard when they speak, so ensure that your home is a safe place for family members to express themselves and discuss things without dismissing them. Acknowledge your feelings, and really listen to work through the emotions you’re experiencing. Show empathy and remember that if all this is hard to process as an adult, it can be even more challenging for younger family members to understand or express what they’re dealing with on the inside. Those things will probably show up in how they behave, so it’ll take some wisdom to dig deeper as you handle misbehavior while helping them understand their emotions.

It’s highly likely you will encounter challenges while you are in close quarters. By looking for solutions together, you’re modeling how to find answers to other sticky situations down the road. In order for your family relationships to come out stronger on the other side of this pandemic, these are a few safeguards you can put in place now to help keep the peace in your home.

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My husband and I were having a conversation about navigating work, caring for family, grocery shopping and the like. In the midst of trying to figure it all out and all the “what ifs,” I kind of lost it. Actually, not kind of—I lost my cool. My husband just stared at me. It took a minute (or 10) for me to get myself back together.

Actually, I took our dog on a walk and thought about what had just happened. We aren’t normally snippy with each other. But then again, we also aren’t normally in such close proximity for an extended period of time.

Let’s just put it out there: Life is super stressful and unbelievably complicated at the moment. We’re all probably feeling some level of fear about the future. In these very moments when things are trying and we are facing the unknown, we need to be on guard and very self-aware in an effort to avoid hurting ourselves and those we love. 

If you’re wondering how to know whether you’re on edge or not, keep an eye out for these things. The signs could be any or all of the following: 

  • You feel like you’re going to explode.
  • You’re not sleeping.
  • You are indulging more than normal in __________ (eating, sleeping, drinking, online shopping, as in retail therapy).
  • You’re quiet and withdrawn when you are normally not that way.
  • You feel like you’re going to blow up if your spouse leaves their dishes in the sink one. more. time.

All of these are telltale signs that you may be in the danger zone. So, what can you do so you won’t blow up on your spouse?

Your first line of defense is to communicate.

Talk with your spouse or someone who is part of your support system. The opportunity to have someone listen to your fears, frustrations and needs, even if they can do nothing to fix it, can help relieve some of the tension you feel.

Create a communication plan.

Sit down with your spouse and discuss how you will intentionally check in with each other to know how to best support one another. Don’t assume your spouse knows what you need.

Meditate or pray.

Practicing deep breathing, meditation/mindfulness, as well as praying can help relieve some of the pressure you are feeling.

Take a time out for yourself.

Sometimes we just need to time ourselves out for a few minutes. Sit in the bathroom, your bedroom, the balcony, your front porch or some other spot that will allow you to have a few moments of silence to recalibrate. It can be helpful to have regularly-scheduled times when everybody goes to a specific space. That way, everyone in the family has a chance to be apart.


Exercise is key to helping us release toxins, stress and tension in a healthy way versus taking it out on our spouse. Going for a quick run, a brisk walk (yes, even in the rain) a bike ride, doing jumping jacks inside or anything that will get your body moving and cause you to break a sweat is helpful. Walking the dog has been a huge sanity-saver for me.

Get connected with your support team.

Even in the midst of social distancing, relying on your spouse to meet all of your needs will likely lead to even more frustration and tension between the two of you. Create coffee time or social hour through Google Meet, FaceTime, Zoom or some other platform which will allow you to hang out with friends or family.

Take one day at a time.

None of us knows about tomorrow. To keep rehashing the “what ifs” will literally drive you crazy. It will be helpful to you, your spouse and the rest of your family if you can take things one moment at a time. The goal is to navigate today.

Avoiding some things like unrealistic expectations and negativity will also be helpful. 

It is unrealistic to think that you aren’t going to have some meltdown moments. It’s bound to happen with people in such close quarters who are cooped up for an extended period of time. The goal is to avoid reacting. Instead, take a deep breath, count backward from 10 and then respond to the situation at hand.

If you’ve been focusing on the negative, you might want to refocus on a few positives, too.

Stop telling yourself you’re a failure or thinking your spouse is failing big time. Your brain believes what you tell it. If you think negatively about yourself and/or your spouse, it makes it hard to communicate and life becomes more complicated. All of us are trying to figure out how to adapt and adjust—even your spouse. Things are likely to get better as people get into a groove, but it may take some time. We have a real opportunity to look for the good things our spouse is doing instead of focusing on what we see as a negative.

Love Each Other Well

One of the greatest things we can do to not blow up on our spouse and survive life as we know it right now is to love each other well. One way we can do that is by watching how we communicate in the middle of uncertain times. Remember the reasons you fell in love with your mate. Reflect on the good times you’ve had and what it took to make it through the hard times in the past. Be intentional about complimenting and encouraging them. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are a team. Listen to their fears and frustrations. Be willing to compromise when necessary. When all is said and done, hopefully our family relationships will come out stronger because we’re choosing to think before we speak. At the same time, we’re trying to make things right when we lose our cool.

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

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