October 15, 2021
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tips for extroverts married to introverts
I’m sure you want to understand and appreciate your spouse, and it can be hard sometimes. But I’m here to tell you: When extroverts are married to introverts, it can be a good thing — a great thing, even! You just have to figure a few things out and appreciate your differences.
If You Are an Extrovert Married to an Introvert, Here Are Some Things They Probably Wish You Knew:
Being an introvert doesn’t mean they don’t like people.
As an introvert, your spouse does like people, but being around them requires them to use a lot of emotional energy. To restore themselves, they need time alone.
Have a set game plan.
Whether you’re planning a dinner party for friends or want to attend the retirement party for your supervisor, talk about it with your spouse. Consider things like date, time, location, and the number of people. Once plans have been set, try not to change them at the last minute.
Accept, and don’t judge them.
If you’re at a social gathering, your introverted spouse may want to be near you. They may need your presence as support. While you want to “work the room,” realize that may be uncomfortable for them.
They need alone time.
After spending time with people, your spouse will need time to recharge. While you may be over the moon about spending time with people (and energized afterward), being around people can cause stress in your spouse.
These tricks can help you understand and appreciate each other!
tips for introverts married to extroverts
We’re all wired differently, and the differences are never more evident than in marriage. While navigating differences in relationships can present challenges, you’ll go deeper as your relationship grows and you become a student of your spouse. Couples often encounter differences when one spouse is introverted and the other is extroverted.
What Does An Introvert Married to An Extrovert Need to Know?
Navigating social settings.
For the introverted spouse who likes to be alone, this can be a struggle. If they do go out in the crowd, they often want to be out of the spotlight. But if you know that your spouse is energized by being around others, you should talk about this. It’s not fair to prevent them from being in social settings, but it’s also unfair to always send them alone.
Talking about their problems.
Extroverts usually find it easy to talk out their problems with others. They’re often more than willing to express their feelings, thoughts, and issues.
On the other hand, introverts tend to internalize and think through things. They dislike conflict and will withhold their thoughts to avoid confrontation.
Extroverts aren’t afraid of risk. They may be more apt to engage in risky behavior than an introvert. Some studies have shown that they are wired this way. Their brain rewards them when risks go well.
These are just a few ways that introverts and extroverts differ. Remember, this is a spectrum, and you both may find yourselves at varying degrees on that spectrum. Marriage is about learning from each other and growing together.
Knowing who you are individually and together can make you stronger.
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Chris Ownby, a husband, #GirlDad of 2, and a Healthy Relationship facilitator here at First Things First! Take a peek at his recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:
📖 Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend The Boundaries books by Cloud and Townsend are gold, and this one provides tons of insight for married couples.
🎧 The Sharon Says So Podcast Hosted by Sharon McMahon, my wife and I listen to this together in the car. Lots of interesting biographical stories and information on different topics. A great way to spark some discussion!
😂 Awkward Family Photos I mean, this is just funny to look at with your spouse and laugh…or cringe.
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