October 08, 2021
top trending topics
tips & tricks for growth
5 tips for getting along with your spouse’s siblings
Marriage is usually a package dealā¦ I mean, yes, your greatest priority is your commitment and love for your spouse. But sometimes a spouse comes with extrasā¦ like their family. At times, those relationships bring added joyand challenges, especially when it comes to your spouseās siblings.
So how do you foster a good relationship and get along with your spouse’s siblings?
Of course, a lot depends on the context. How well does your spouse get along with their siblings? Whatās their stage of life and personality? How does your spouseās family function overall? These factors often affect what getting along with your spouseās siblings looks like.
But if you keep the following tips in mind, youāre more likely to have good sibling-in-law relationships.
1. Have Realistic Expectations
2. Look for Opportunities to Support
3. Invite Them to Be a Part of Your World With Your Spouse
4. Avoid Turning Down Invitations to Be in Their World
5. Keep Your Marriage First
Fostering good relationships with your in-laws is a win for your marriage.
keys to effective communication in marriage
What are the keys to effective communication? Well, research on what makes marriage work shows that happy and healthy couples have a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative behaviorsĀ in their relationship.
This means there are five times as many positive interactions between happy couples (i.e. listening, validating the other person, using soft words, expressing appreciation, affirmation, physical affection, compliments, etc.) as there are negative (i.e. raising oneās voice, stating a complaint, or expressing oneās anger).
Tips for improving the effectiveness of communication in your relationship:
āļøĀ Be intentional about spending time together.
On average, couples spend only 20 minutes a week talking with each other. To change this, turn off the technology and make it a point to spend 20-30 minutes a day catching up with each other.
āļøĀ Use more āIā statements and less āYouā statements.
This decreases the chances of your spouse feeling like they need to defend themselves.
āļøĀ Be specific.
When issues arise, be specific. Broad generalizations like, āYou do it all the time!ā are not helpful.
āļøĀ Avoid mind-reading.
It is very frustrating when someone else acts like they know better than you what you were really thinking.
āļøĀ Express negative feelings constructively.
There will be times when you feel bitterness, resentment, disappointment or disapproval. These feelings need to be communicated in order for change to occur. But how you express these thoughts is critical.
āļøĀ ListenĀ without being defensive.
For a marriage to succeed, both spouses must be able to hear each otherās complaints without getting defensive.
āļøĀ Freely express positive feelings.
Most people are quicker to express negative feelings than positive ones. It is vital to the health of your marriage that you affirm your spouse. Positive feelings such as appreciation, affection, respect, admiration, and approval are like making deposits into your love account.
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Lauren Hall, wife of 7 years to Daniel, toddler momma, dog momma,Ā and the CEO here at First Things First.Ā Take a peek at her recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out š:
share the love
Know a friend who would love reading all the relationship goodness we’ve packed in here? Go ahead andĀ share it with them!