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how to communicate better with your spouse
What would the world be like without good communication?
Airports would be a complete wreck (figuratively and literally).
Kids couldn’t learn reading, writing, ’rithmetic, and computer coding.
The barista at Starbucks would write a completely different name on my cup for my order. (Okay, well, that happens anyway.)
Not to mention… marriage would be chaotic!
Fortunately, communication in marriage isn’t some tricky thing that some people have, and some don’t. It’s a skill that you, me, and everyone else can practice and improve.
Here are six of the most crucial skills you can use to communicate better with your spouse:
1. Practice the art of listening well.
Listening well means seeking to understand. It’s putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes.
2. Ask lots of questions.
The ultimate goal of healthy communication in marriage is to connect. Be curious for the sake of knowing your husband or wife better and how you can strengthen your relationship.
3. Go deeper in your communication.
Communication can be shallow: My day was good. How was yours? I’m kinda tired. Tomorrow is Friday… But marriage can’t thrive in the shallow end of the pool; it has to take deeper dives.
4. Practice vulnerability.
Being vulnerable means showing more of who you are. Which means opening yourself up. And that takes trust, which is vital for a healthy marriage.
5. Practice often.
Schedule times to talk and connect with each other on deeper levels, even if it’s for just a few minutes. The average couple communicates for only 20 minutes a week; choose not to be average.
6. Learn to work through conflict well.
Disagreements are gonna happen. That’s part of marriage. But how you communicate through disagreements makes all the difference.
These six skills can transform your relationship.
tips for newly engaged couples
Engagement season is upon you—congrats, by the way!! With the pretty ring comes some planning, excitement, questions, and ultimately preparing for marriage!
With that being said, here are a few tips to help newly engaged couples thrive during the engagement season:
1. Have the big conversations before you’re deep into planning.
If you haven’t already, make sure you and your fiancé are on the same page about big-ticket items by having intentional conversations. Things like whether or not you want kids, job/career expectations, finances, how you handle conflict, spirituality/religion you want to carry forward, etc.
2. Decide how long you want your engagement to be.
Before you worry about picking a date, consider what’s best for your relationship. Long or short engagement? Is there a particular season you want to get married? What’s going on in your life currently that could affect when you can get married?
3. Discuss your budget for the wedding.
This will affect how many people you’ll invite to your wedding, the location, and may even help you decide on a date. If you’re paying for the wedding yourselves, the length of your engagement may reflect the time it’ll take to save.