October 14, 2022
top trending topics
🦅 For those empty nesters out there… Reconnect with your spouse through the life change!
✅ Realistic vs unrealistic expectations in marriage- What are yours??
🔕 Tips for those times when silence from your spouse is NOT so golden.
💛 Everyone changes throughout life. Learn how you can grow together through the changes.
🍁 Fallll into love (See what we did there!😉) with these romantic dates.
tips & tricks for growth
when your sexy time attempts keep getting shot down…
In marriage, it’s common for one spouse to initiate sex more often. But if you’re the one every time, it can easily lead to resentment, frustration, and feeling undesirable or unwanted. If you’re there, it is not your fault. And it may not be your spouse’s fault either. Let’s take a look at steps you can take to get to a more balanced place in your marriage.
Identify any barriers.
There may be reasons your spouse doesn’t initiate sex. Here are some questions to consider. These aren’t to be taken lightly, either.
- Are there any underlying physical issues that make sex difficult? When is the last time your spouse has seen a doctor for a checkup?
- Does their view of themself make them feel less desirable?
- Are they under increased stress from work demands?
- Is this stage of parenting exhausting them?
- Do you two have differing views of when and where sex should happen?
- Is there sexual or physical trauma in their past?
- How was sex viewed in their home growing up?
The answer to all of these can help identify if there are barriers to your spouse initiating. They may want to initiate more often (as the previous research indicates many men and women do), but there may be a barrier that has nothing to do with you or your marriage.
It is possible to find balance in your marriage.
the many pros behind counseling
Some people feel like going to counseling is like waving a “white flag” on their life and represents quitting. “I should be able to handle this! It is, after all, my life! Why do I need someone else poking around in it?”
Going to counseling is not “giving up.“ Far from it, it can be an incredibly courageous step and can help you regain control of your life.
Quick Question: Would you be “embarrassed” to take your car in to be seen by a mechanic? If you were diabetic, would you be “embarrassed” to go to a doctor for insulin? Nope. Not at all.
When it comes to mental and emotional health, when it comes to relating to ourselves or to others, the least “embarrassing” thing we can do is see the pros.
let’s get REALatable
It’s time to take things a step further & get a little intimate with a Q&A. What do you say?😉 Learn a little bit about the faces behind all of this relationship gold. This week we’re chatting with Kelly Brugh, (Our newest addition to #TeamFTF!) wife of 6 years to husband Landon, #dogmama to a chocolate lab, and the Vice President of Development here at First Things First. Let’s get REALatable💛 & learn a little bit about her:
Q: Best way to pass time?
A: 🐶My husband, Landon, and I love being outside and taking my dog on walks. His name is Roscoe and he’s an 8-year-old chocolate lab. He’s getting older, so our walks can’t be too long, but he loves smelling everything in sight. Our favorite places to walk is the Riverwalk and the Walnut Street Bridge.
Q: Your favorite age so far?
A: 💗 My favorite age so far has been 28. I married Landon just before my 29th birthday. Not only did I marry my partner for life, but wedding planning helped me reconnect with family. My father passed away when I was five and we lost touch with his side of the family over the years. We invited my dad’s side of the family to our wedding and have kept in touch. My mom and I visited my dad’s sister at her home in Phoenix in February. It’s never too late to mend a broken relationship or build a whole new one!
Q: Next place on your travel bucket list?
A: 🍂🍁Fall has always been my favorite season and one of the most beautiful things about growing up in Pennsylvania was watching the leaves change. It’s captivating to see the vibrancy of the colors splayed across the Appalachian Mountains. The next place on my travel bucket list is going to New Hampshire where I hear the fall foliage is even more spectacular! New Hampshire has a fall foliage tracker that can help with planning trips to the Northeast: https://www.visitnh.gov/seasonal-trips/fall/foliage-tracker
*Based on a survey from Feldhahn, S. (2012, April 2). Surprising Secret: National Survey of Couples. Source.
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