May 27, 2022
top trending topics
💬 What can we say to our children when bad things happen?
💻 If you’re wondering why your husband watches porn, the answer isn’t you!
🇺🇸 In honor of Memorial Day, here’s how you can support military families.
⌚Thinking you need some alone time? Here’s 5 signs why that may be the case.
🤗 Caring about your spouse’s interests is essential to your marriage.
tips & tricks for growth
dealing with your own anxiety after tragedy
When tragedy happens on a local, national or global level, constantly watching the media coverage can cause you to experience the very real phenomenon of vicarious traumatization. It often shows through anxiety.
“What people often don’t realize is you don’t have to be present at a traumatic event to be traumatized,” says licensed clinical social worker, Pam Johnson. “Just hearing something can create a traumatic event in your mind. Add the visual of repeatedly watching the news segments and you can create some real anxiety. The deeper mind does not differentiate what is happening in real time and what happened in Texas to someone else.”
📵 Limit the amount of time immersed in media. If you just cannot pull yourself away, take a pulse check – literally. If your pulse is high, stop watching. Be mindful of your feelings. Are you angry? Anxious? Tense?
🌳 Take action to reverse the anxiety. Go for a walk. Meditate. Get involved in constructive conversation with others. Pray.
👀 Focus on things over which you have control. Get adequate rest. Eat healthy. Watch sitcoms or movies that don’t aggravate stress. Do things that are calming and soothing to you. Create an emergency plan with your family. Discuss what you would do if you heard gunfire in a public place.
“Most importantly, I would tell people to learn to talk so people will listen and listen so people will talk,” Johnson says. “This is a crucial need in our society. We need to learn how to listen for the need and the heart of another person.”
how to build empathy in marriage
Have you ever whipped up your favorite batch of homemade cookies to find out in the first bite that you left out that one key ingredient that makes all the difference? Empathy is that key ingredient to a great recipe for a healthy marriage that you don’t want to forget.
A large body of research tells us the practice of empathy is essential to a thriving, happy, healthy marriage. However, many people reduce the idea of empathy to it being just “touchy-feely” or something that some people are born having, but others not so much.
Here are some steps for couples to take to building empathy:
🧡 Listen.
🧡 Validate.
🧡 Share.
🧡 Act.
🧡 Practice vulnerability.
Empathy is an all-important ingredient for a healthy marriage, but building it takes time.
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from John Daum, husband of 28 years to his wife Monica, a Dad of 5, and a Content Creator here at First Things first. Take a peek at his recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:
📔 We hear a lot about having individual and couple goals, so you stay on the grow. We don’t hear many workable strategies to set goals and actually achieve them. Enter James Clear’s Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way To Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones! It’s been on Amazon’s best-seller list for 167 weeks and has 4.8 out of 5 stars with almost 75,000 reviews. I’ve been the stereotypical goal-setter who experiences change for a few weeks, then back to business as usual. It’s so frustrating! Atomic Habits explains why many people never get beyond wishful thinking and directs the reader to a better approach to achieving lasting change. Pick up the helpful workbook or workbook/journaland get growing!
💝 In your marriage, sometimes you need to look back to look ahead. (Or get through the day! ) The Personalization Mall has just the thing to remind you of the special moments in your relationship. Check out their Memorable Dates Personalized Wooden Shiplap Sign. You can personalize the title (Adam & Kara, The Smiths, etc.) and three dates of your most memorable moments (We First Met, We Got Engaged, We Got Married, etc.). This is home decor with a powerful purpose. There is real power in remembering where you’ve been as a couple. You have a shared history that is the foundation of your shared future!
🧹Have you finished your Spring Cleaning? Let’s be real – household cleaning can be a time-drain and a source of stress in your marriage. Make sure you communicate about dividing chores fairly. 😇 (Or enjoy the sweet sweet romance of chasing Dust Bunnies together!) The fine folks at the Good Housekeeping Institute Cleaning Lab have some great Spring Cleaning Tips to help you crank out the work so you can get to the play!
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